Question is about my 7 year old daughter who weighs 80lbs

Four feet tall is only average for a 7-year-old girl, but 80 pounds is definitely high.

Well honestly, if all she wants to do is eat, you're the parent. Tell her no, she does not need a snack right now. Offer her healthy things for meals and snacks. I know you can't do it all when she's in school and all, but try packing her lunch for her? My 4 year old is 50 lbs and very tall for her age--46 inches, eats like a bird. She's a junk food junkie too and if she had it her way, she'd eat cookies and ice cream 24/7, but I tell her no and she's been slowly coming around because she knows I won't give in. I totally get it's not easy. I just stopped getting any junk food in the house when we go shopping so it's not in sight. She only sees the fruits and veggies in the fridge. I also tried to get her some ranch dip for the veggies and she's been eating them with a little less hassle. Luckily my 3 year old eats anything I put in front of her, but my oldest is a trip.

So I guess its more I want direction on where to look..I know this site if for adults and I am a member here not my 7 year old of course. So I don't know what to do. I am doing my best to show by example how to eat. And I do as much as I can control what she's eating. But for as long as she could talk and walk she will want to eat constantly. Anytime a different person in the house wants a snack she needs a snack too. (not everyone wants a snack at the same time, so as you can imagine she's trying to double up on snacks constantly) I try my best to control this..but at the same time I don't want to make it into a big deal as if she has a problem. Don't want her with issues.. I mean I was once called chubby (when I wasn't) as a kid and I swear is scarred me for life.

So what do I do? She's in school 5 days a week and I know she must bum food from other kids...I don't want to bring it up to her teacher etc cause its embarassing. And I don't want her to feel singled out.

Anyways she is tall she's about 4ft so fairly tall, and she's 80 lbs. 80! is that really bad? see I don't even know she's got a fair amount of rolls.

Seems like it should be a simple solution, control control control..but how do I do that without singling her out?

My son is 65 lbs. is 4ft 1 inch and is only five years old. I watch his weight. He is not in a danger zone yet but if he were 80 lbs. I would be packing his lunch. Then making sure the other two meals at home were healthy. If your daughter is eating healthy already speak to her doctor. If she isn't eating so healthy then she may have those genes were you CAN'T eat whatever you want. Best of luck!

I also saw this neat thing on a blog one time where a lady set up a "snack system" in her house for her older kids. She had bought one of those plastic 3 drawer bins and filled it snacks, using ziploc bags to portion out stuff. On the top of the bin she had a bowl or basket of things like bananas, apples, pears, oranges, etc. In order to get the snacks, they had to "pay" for them. The stuff on top in the basket was free. I don't remember the whole system though - I know she used fake gold coins, but I can't remember how or if they earned them or if she gave them so many to start the week with. I am sure you could search the internet or Pinterest for something like this. I thought is was a neat idea to try when my 2 are older.

I have noticed that my kids often ask for snacks when they are bored and watching tv, so the more we play family games at night, or just hang out together, the less they care about snacks. But keep up the good work, parenting is the hardest job!

You have to be stricter. Letting her chow food all day is not going to help. I was a chubby kid too, eating what I wanted all the time, and I never learned good eating habits because of it... so I ended up obese.

Tell your family that they can have one snack a day. Pick a time when it's convenient, and stick to it (like, 3pm after school or something). And make it a healthy one - veggies, fruit, maybe a yogurt. Your whole family is going to have to work on this. Yes, it's going to suck, but it's your daughter's health that's at stake. And I'd definitely talk to the teacher about it if you're worried she's eating food from the other kids - maybe she can talk to all the kids and tell them that it's not safe to share food because of allergies (which is true!) and that they shouldn't do it, without targeting your daughter.

I understand it's hard, I have kids too. And they want to snack all day too. But I let them pick one thing that they like (and make it a reasonable serving), and if they're still hungry after that, they can pick some fruit, or yogurt. That's it. I have small kids though... otherwise the cookies/crackers would be a once a week thing and dessert would only be fruit.

I have a very similar situation with my daughter who is also 7, same height, and only 5 lbs lighter.

However, every year at the pediatricians office her weight/height ratio is getting better and better, meaning she is growing into it.

She always wants to eat so there are two options I give her when I think it's strange timing to be hungry:
1) Eat carrots. No carrots = not hungry
2) Distract her with something else - i.e. reading, coloring, Wii, anything.

I would definitely talk with her teacher - it may not be her full time job to watch kids eat lunch but they do assume responsibility for kids in their rooms within reason. Most teachers should be glad to keep a watchful eye for you if you are being reasonable.

Good luck

Hi there. I have a 10 year old daughter who has been overweight since kindergarden. You can see her in my pics. I have been through all the suggestion you have gotten here so far. Some say, don't talk to your daughter about weight, some say ask your doctor, some say she will grow into her weight.

Here is what I have learned. I did go to my doctor, all test and blood work were fine, so the doctor sent us to a nutritionist. Who gave us a few ideas on food. Honestly, not much help there.

I tried the "grow into her weight" stage between age 6 and 8. This didnt work, she gained as she grew. By the time she was 9 she was 130, I was still freaking.

I decided I needed to talk to her about food, and weight. She knew I was working out, and eating to lose weight. I told her I wanted her to be health and eat better like I do. I explained diabeties to her and yes, I put a bit of scare into her, I told her that some of the people who had diabeties had to have shots. She, like all kids, hate shots. I told her I needed her help to make us both healthy. I asked her to eat the same foods I do. I told her we would still have treats once in a while. I asked her to take walks with me. I told that "I" didnt want to get diabeties, and I needed her to help. We got a dog that "had" to be walked. So, started our weight loss together.

When she turned 10 this last summer she was 156 and now she is 145 at the 6 month mark. Very slow for her, and I want it that way. I am hoping by the time she is a teen, she will have many healthy habits and be at a good weight.

You can only listen to your heart and head when dealing with your own child. You know her better than anyone, and you know what would work to motivate her. So, go with your gut, and don't let anyone put you down for what you feel is right for YOUR daughter. Good luck to both of you. Feel free to send a friend request.

have you tried filling out the food diary with what she actually eats? She is eating too many calories and you are thinking it is the snacks. But if they are healthy snacks like fruit and veg then doubling up is not going to be a huge calorie source, 30 baby carrots instead of 15 baby carrots is not much of a dent on total caloric intake if you see what i mean. i would suggest do her diary with what you now she is eating is a first step and see where her KNOWN calories are coming from - it may surprise you! people are talking about lmiting snacks well i dont really agree. My daughter wants to snack alot too and she is welcome to because it is always either an apple, banana, carrots, celery etc nothing else. no chips, chocolate, etc. Be sure to include drinks in the diary, juice and soda calories will add up really quickly. Any doctor or nutrionist worth their salt wiuld ask for a food diary anyway so you might as well take a stab at it first and see what jumps out. How about doing 2 weeks worth? Be brutally honest with it and remember IF there are surprises in there better you figure it out now. If there is nothing suspect there then start looking where thise extra calories are coming for example if she doesnt take her own food to school maybe send it instead. Just an idea so you have a better picture of if it is really the snacking that needs to be tackled in isolation of meals and drinks.

This is a touchy topic. I have been overweight my entire life. My mom was great but there where a few things that did more harm than good. She changed her cooking for the whole familyand we would do evening bike rides. All of these things where good but I didn't lose weight, and I didn't take food from the other kids at school. I ate a much heathier lunch than anyone else. I remeber my grandma not letting me eat things that the other grandkids were eating right in front of me. This was not good, it made me feel fat and singled out. I still did not lose weight. I started doing some sports in fifth and sixth grade. That was the best thing for me. I lost weight and I didn't even realize it! I didn't make any sports teams in Jr. High so I didn't get the excersize I needed and I gained weight back. Just encourage her to be active.

Also put her in a sport. She picks but something every season. Try new ones if she doesn't like one but always finish out the class. Soccer, tennis, gymnastics, swimming, karate, basketball, softball, are a few ideas. She will find one she likes and meet new friends. My kids both have their sport of choice but when they were young they had to pick something organized.

I think the first priority is to *kitten* whether she is actually obese/overweight or not. If she is actually overweight, that is entire different problem than the constant snacking habit.

I know BMI is not perfect measure , but based on it, your kid is obese. (http://www.webmd.com/parenting/raising-fit-kids/weight/bmi/bmi-calculator) But , you may have just rounded her measurements and she may not be 4 ft, but maybe she is 4 ft 2 " , and maybe she is not 80 lb ,but only 78 lb. So first measure her exactly, calculate her accurate BMI , take her to the doctor and specifically ask if the doctor think she is obese/overweight. Plus just look at her and ask friends what do they think. Sometimes parent seem to just overlook the extra padding when they come to their own kids. But maybe she is not overweight, without a picture it is impossible to determinate. Anyway first and most importantly , you need to *kitten* if whe has a weigh problem or just a problem of eating pattern.

Grazing all day is not a great habit to have regardless of the overweight or not situation. My sister 5 yrs old constantly grazing, and he is VERY underweight. Because the kid is dangerously skinny my sister encourage every bites he eats, and I think this have a bite here and there constantly actually worsens the weight situation. Because the kids grazing ( usually on rather empty carbs) , he never hungry at meal time and never eats a proper meal, which again leads more snacking an hr later. Without adequate protein the kid is never going to put on healthy meat on his bones. We live very far from them, but when we visit and stay with them for a couple of weeks , the kid always eat better by the end. The main reason because we , as a whole family , sit down for our meals, which their family never do that. They eat , especially snacks different times , just like you mentioned your family does. Personally that would drive me nuts. When we were kids that was the case in our house and my sister obviously followed that habit, but it always annoyed me so I change it. In our house , you eat at meal time or you do not eat, end of story. I usually time weekend/holiday mealtime to match up with the mealtime my kids have in schooldays. There is a breakfast at 7 am, plenty of food to eat. School snack time is 10-10:30, so on the weekend we have snack time around that time too. Schoolday they eat lunch at 12, on the weekend we may eat lunch 12:30 , bu no later than 1 pm. Schoolday afternoon snack time is 3:30, weekend afternoon snacktime is around the same. We eat dinner together every day around 6 , no later than 6:30 pm , no exceptions. We sign up kids for practice according to our family schedule , weekday 4-5 pm and weekend mornings. I ensure there is protein on all 3 main meal, because that what keeps them full. Carbs only meals get digested so quicky and they hungry an hr or so again. There is no dessert /sugary snack at the morning- no exceptions. That is bad for concentrating in school. I pack a tiny bit of dessert for lunch, like 5-6 mini marshmallows or one square of tiny chocolate . ( My son have the planetbox lunchbox and have a tiny compartment for dessert). After dinner there can be dessert, if the veggies and meat has been (mostly) eaten.
I find this schedule works for us, and kids like structure. Sometimes my son whines half or an hr before dinner that he is so hungry , but every time I give in and let him have a snack, he ends up not eating proper dinner. Plus when I give in, he whines the next day even more, because he knows I am getting weak No kids will starve if they have to wait an hr for their next meal. Most of the time if my son whines prior to dinner, I just tell him if he helps out it will be done faster. Sometime he really hungry and choose to help, other days he say he can wait and play instead.

Verify a healthy weight with her pediatrician, they can tell you for sure if she needs to lose weight and if there are any health concerns that could come from this.

I was a "chubby" child growing up. I became an emotional eater and during the years of a divorce and parents fighting for custody... I had a lot of emotions. I mean 170 pounds at 12 years old....

Now as an adult trying to shed the pounds of all the years I emotionally ate and got in to bad habits, I wish it had been addressed much sooner! It is easier to lose weight when you are younger and it's easier to form new habits then too. If you don't want to make her uncomfortable ( which is the best option or she may not be so enthusiastic) do a family health overhaul, that way everyone is on board and she is not singled out. It becomes much more fun and interesting too.

Have only healthy food options available for snacking on like veggies, fruits and whole grains. Go on active family outings like hikes and bike rides or even just a walk to a local park to play soccer or something. See what is happening in your city and plan for your family to go. Get her pumped up to go and be a part of it, bring healthy snack options to keep from getting junk foods and lots of water.

Even where I am now, more aware and working hard, I still will eat a whole chocolate bar if it is in the house, so I don't keep them in the house. Also, do mention it to the teacher, at the very least they can let you know if she is bumming food from other kids or trading so that you can find a solution. It's for your kids happiness and health, and in the long run, the hiccups and hard work now will be worth it.

This won't be popular but I disagree with restricting. I agree with some who said it sounds like control issues.

It's been a while since I read books on the topic of kids and eating but the advice then was pretty much to let them guide the HOW MUCH while you guide the WHAT by how you shop and cook. If they refuse to eat what you fixed, the advice was to let them have a bowl of healthy cereal they fix themselves, period. And don't make food an issue of contention.

Usually they say to try to get the child more active.

My daughter wasn't overweight but was on the higher end of normal than her friends. Now she's 13 and I worry she might be getting too thin. I don't know what my parenting or home environment effect had on her, if any. But I refused to restrict and have always told her to listen to her body, eat when she's hungry and stop when she's full, and tried to lead by example by mostly eating healthy but also not having treat foods be forbidden or glorified.