Non judgemental Friends Please....?
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Personally I'm on maintenance and have never been overweight, so no matter what my food diary looks like I chose it to be that way. I chose to go over or to have treats that day. It's all part of living a well balanced life. Also, I am a grown adult and doing this for myself, I am not accountable to anyone but myself when it comes to the food I choose to put into my mouth and belly. Sometimes it looks like my dairy may be low, but it just means I haven't logged. By the next day I will have logged and it will likely be in the 1900 to 2500 range. Which is fine, since I weigh 102 pounds.
So you can help the OP by not judging what she eats how? Oh that's right. You formula won't work for someone who opened with "I'm overweight."0 -
Personally I'm on maintenance and have never been overweight, so no matter what my food diary looks like I chose it to be that way. I chose to go over or to have treats that day. It's all part of living a well balanced life. Also, I am a grown adult and doing this for myself, I am not accountable to anyone but myself when it comes to the food I choose to put into my mouth and belly. Sometimes it looks like my dairy may be low, but it just means I haven't logged. By the next day I will have logged and it will likely be in the 1900 to 2500 range. Which is fine, since I weigh 102 pounds.
So you can help the OP by not judging what she eats how? Oh that's right. You formula won't work for someone who opened with "I'm overweight."
No, I wasn't saying what works for me would work for the op. I was just responding to some comments and saying why I do what I do. This is not some major serious answer. It's just a forum and I'm just posting a thought.
I'm not sure how I would help the OP (and I never said that I could). I don't generally give weight loss advice to people that have 50 pounds to lose, as it is outside of the range of my personal experience. And I don't generally look at people's diaries. I don't give advice unless asked. Then I try to think about their personal position and general advice. Calorie deficit, good nutrition, lift weights, have fun. But, I try to stick with stuff I have experience with such as maintenance, starting weight lifting, not under eating, dancing. Or I wait till people post a success thread and I congratulate them.
I state where I am coming from and if people feel I have info to offer, they will ask me advice. That's how I do it here.0 -
but what is your are doing something wrong that is making you gain more weight? Do you still want encouragement to gain more weight?
seems counterproductive…
I friend people bc they have had success and will tell me when I am doing things wrong, because I want to learn from them and do it right...
Suggesting something is entirely different from judgment. besides i know quite a lot about weight loss because ive been reading about it for years and have lost weight in the past . the only problem i have is sticking to my plan and the only thing that can help is encouragement. i have a clear idea of what i want. and im asking for exactly that. unsolicited advice? not so much. if i want advice, ill ask. i dont see what the problem is. but like i said ive found quite a number of motivating people and after a few messages i got up and worked out for the second time today. we all need different things. everybody isnt here looking for advice. some are just here for support and encouragement. anyways have a good day, bye
Curious - If you know so much about it then why are you back here? Doesn't that imply that what you know might not be correct, and looking to people have had long term success would make more sense?
If I post a workout and one of my friends says "dude, you are doing way too much volume, or this is not right" just because I did not solicit it does not mean that it is not good advice. That is kind of advice that i want. I would rather discover now that I am doing something wrong then waiting six months down the road….
Like i said, i know enough about weight loss to actually lose weight. i never question what I'm doing. Its the motivation that fades away and id like some friends who say " Go girl" rather than ask me why i ate chocolate. because i have my food habits and exercise under control.in case you missed it before, im here to find people who will just say "you can do it" when i need to hear it and even when i dont. And i will do the same for them. If my weight loss habits dont work, ill ask for advice. But for now, i just need some friends who can give me a little push when i feel like giving up.
I dont think theres anymore explaining to do. i need what i need. no offense, thankyou
If you never question what you're doing, how do you expect to grow or progress in ANYTHING?? Regardless of whether we are talking about our health or any other part of our lives, we always have to question what we're doing so we can learn. No one is born just automatically knowing the right way to do everything. We have to question ourselves and be open to feedback from others in order to get better at whatever we're attempting.
Like I said before, good luck OP. You are going to need it.
i chose to read just the last line. thanks
Of course you did. SMH. Well, we'll be here when you get to the "why am I not losing" thread, followed by the "I can't break this plateau" thread and, of course, the "MFP bullies are so mean!!!" thread. Open your mind OP. You just might learn something.
All, im going to say is, i will post my before and after pictures within 6 months on this very same post. i dont know how the forum works, so if this post is deleted by then i will open up a new post and post them. watch me.
OK Op …good luck to you and I hope you have success walling yourself out from any constructive criticism of your method/diet…0 -
Wow what a mess. They way I read this was that she is looking for support without people being rude about it. I accepted her request and I'm gonna always be there for the "great job" but I"m also going to be the one to say "hey dude, your sodium is getting a little out of hand". I'm not here to tell people they are fat, or going to fail and that what she and a lot of others are looking for. We are not here to shame eachother and throw off this Holier Than Thou attitude because your counter says 20 lbs lost and my counter says 8 lbs.0
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Is that you in the pic? Where is the "overweight" part of you?
If I cannot judge what you eat or not eat, then I cannot be supportive. Do you want someone to say "way to go", "good job" or "keep up the good work" even when you are eating unhealthy, then you do not want support. You want someone to agree with you.
:flowerforyou:
You want to judge what people eat???? Seriously? How is that supportive? I'm sorry but who has a perfect diet? I don't even want a perfect diet. I'm going to have a donut from time to time (and enjoy it) and I'll be darned if someone is going to "judge" that and tell me it's wrong.
Yes, when those on my FL are not eating well I refuse to say "good job" on their diary. I am not going to sugar coat anything. When they eat 1000 cals and exercise for over an hr an day, I say something and I delete those who constantly net under 1200 cals/day. It's about being healthy and learning from one another. If I drink too many Starbucks in a day, I want someone to call me out on it. It's ok that you and I are not in each other's support system. To each their own. I simply made a statement that obviously upset the "rainbows and glitter" crowd for which I will not apologize. Maybe you guys who do not appreciate "judging" stop judging me. :flowerforyou:
That's now how I took your first post. Of course I would never condone such behavior and sugar coat it for people. I'm far from a "rainbows and glitter" person. I'm realistic and human. Mostly healthy, has a few treats. I would not want to be called out over a few treats when that's a small percentage of my diet and a personal choice. That's what I thought you meant. My apologies. Sincerely.0 -
Dont be harsh to yourself,we all lose motivation time to time,we are all here for support aren't we?Im new here and I'm sure that both of us can stick to weigh lose by getting support from all of great people in here who are staying strong. Put the smile on and say I can do thisss
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Judgement:
-the forming of an opinion, estimate, notion, or conclusion, as from circumstances presented to the mind:
-the opinion formed:
This is the definition of judgement taken from dictionary.com. So in reality, you are asking for friends who will choose not to exercise their ability to form their own opinions. Being judgemental is not necessarily a bad thing! We all make judgements every single day of our lives. I think what you meant is that you are looking for friends who will always give you a virtual pat on the back, no matter what. There's nothing wrong with wanting encouragement. But sometimes, we needs friends who will give us the kick in the pants that we need!0 -
Wow what a mess. They way I read this was that she is looking for support without people being rude about it. I accepted her request and I'm gonna always be there for the "great job" but I"m also going to be the one to say "hey dude, your sodium is getting a little out of hand". I'm not here to tell people they are fat, or going to fail and that what she and a lot of others are looking for. We are not here to shame eachother and throw off this Holier Than Thou attitude because your counter says 20 lbs lost and my counter says 8 lbs.
i suspect this will lead to you be de-friended0 -
i desperately want to underline "unless someone asks me for advice". thanks
It seems like you are terrified of constructive criticism. I wonder why that is?
Anyway - I'm going to piggyback this thread and ask for the OPPOSITE of the OP. I don't want to be a nosy neighbor and go snooping in diaries without permission. I would just like to look at *real* examples of people who are at/near maintenance and also incorporate workouts? I'm NOT looking for "perfect" people, "perfect" diaries, or sunshine and rainbows. I'm looking for people who reached their goals (or are close) and just want to see the types of things they are eating. Real people who generally eat healthy foods but still appreciate a bowl of ice cream. Mainly I just want permission to take a look at other people's food diaries - for ideas, inspiration, and examples from folks who succeeded. I'm not asking so I can criticize. I'm asking because what I'm doing isn't working and I need a little help.
I seem to have hit a plateau with weight loss, but I am also struggling with getting enough calories and staying in my macros. I have 8 pounds to go and seem to be stalled out on the side of the road. I'm also incredibly sore from new workouts, and don't think I'm eating the right things at the right time.
I think my food diary is set at private (?) and I never filled out the profile. That isn't because I'm afraid of real feedback - I just never got around to it. I'm going to open it up, though, because I DO appreciate constructive feedback. I'd rather have that than people who say "way to go!" when I eat half a box of donuts.0 -
OP wants non judgemental friends, No need to sit at your computer's and go into panic mode trying to decipher what she means by it. /facepalm
I wish this think had a 'like' button!0 -
Wow what a mess. They way I read this was that she is looking for support without people being rude about it. I accepted her request and I'm gonna always be there for the "great job" but I"m also going to be the one to say "hey dude, your sodium is getting a little out of hand". I'm not here to tell people they are fat, or going to fail and that what she and a lot of others are looking for. We are not here to shame eachother and throw off this Holier Than Thou attitude because your counter says 20 lbs lost and my counter says 8 lbs.
i suspect this will lead to you be de-friended
If it does, it does. But that's why I offered to accept friend requests!:ohwell:0 -
OP wants non judgemental friends, No need to sit at your computer's and go into panic mode trying to decipher what she means by it. /facepalm
Lol thanks i really dont need deciphering, if you fit we are friends and if you dont we shouldnt be. that is all i meant. Its scary how a few became really obsessed with this post. it says just one thing and if people didnt agree i did tell them to not comment *sigh sigh* 0 -
but what is your are doing something wrong that is making you gain more weight? Do you still want encouragement to gain more weight?
seems counterproductive…
I friend people bc they have had success and will tell me when I am doing things wrong, because I want to learn from them and do it right...
Suggesting something is entirely different from judgment. besides i know quite a lot about weight loss because ive been reading about it for years and have lost weight in the past . the only problem i have is sticking to my plan and the only thing that can help is encouragement. i have a clear idea of what i want. and im asking for exactly that. unsolicited advice? not so much. if i want advice, ill ask. i dont see what the problem is. but like i said ive found quite a number of motivating people and after a few messages i got up and worked out for the second time today. we all need different things. everybody isnt here looking for advice. some are just here for support and encouragement. anyways have a good day, bye
Curious - If you know so much about it then why are you back here? Doesn't that imply that what you know might not be correct, and looking to people have had long term success would make more sense?
If I post a workout and one of my friends says "dude, you are doing way too much volume, or this is not right" just because I did not solicit it does not mean that it is not good advice. That is kind of advice that i want. I would rather discover now that I am doing something wrong then waiting six months down the road….
Like i said, i know enough about weight loss to actually lose weight. i never question what I'm doing. Its the motivation that fades away and id like some friends who say " Go girl" rather than ask me why i ate chocolate. because i have my food habits and exercise under control.in case you missed it before, im here to find people who will just say "you can do it" when i need to hear it and even when i dont. And i will do the same for them. If my weight loss habits dont work, ill ask for advice. But for now, i just need some friends who can give me a little push when i feel like giving up.
I dont think theres anymore explaining to do. i need what i need. no offense, thankyou
If you never question what you're doing, how do you expect to grow or progress in ANYTHING?? Regardless of whether we are talking about our health or any other part of our lives, we always have to question what we're doing so we can learn. No one is born just automatically knowing the right way to do everything. We have to question ourselves and be open to feedback from others in order to get better at whatever we're attempting.
Like I said before, good luck OP. You are going to need it.
i chose to read just the last line. thanks
Of course you did. SMH. Well, we'll be here when you get to the "why am I not losing" thread, followed by the "I can't break this plateau" thread and, of course, the "MFP bullies are so mean!!!" thread. Open your mind OP. You just might learn something.
All, im going to say is, i will post my before and after pictures within 6 months on this very same post. i dont know how the forum works, so if this post is deleted by then i will open up a new post and post them. watch me.
OK Op …good luck to you and I hope you have success walling yourself out from any constructive criticism of your method/diet…
i didnt say i didnt need advice or constructive criticism. i said i would ask for it if i need it. i need my own space to make my decisions without constant nagging. thats how it works for me. to each their own. And thanks for the "good luck". just the good luck Good day 0 -
Wow what a mess. They way I read this was that she is looking for support without people being rude about it. I accepted her request and I'm gonna always be there for the "great job" but I"m also going to be the one to say "hey dude, your sodium is getting a little out of hand". I'm not here to tell people they are fat, or going to fail and that what she and a lot of others are looking for. We are not here to shame eachother and throw off this Holier Than Thou attitude because your counter says 20 lbs lost and my counter says 8 lbs.
i suspect this will lead to you be de-friended
Well, you suspect wrong.0 -
Jesus Christ people, WTF happened in here? Person makes perfectly rational request not to be judged on her weight - MFP responds by judging her on not wanting to be judged instead.
Feel free to send a FR my way, OP. I do not judge. I do, however, log obsessively and comment offensively. But hey, you can't have everything.0 -
Jesus Christ people, WTF happened in here? Person makes perfectly rational request not to be judged on her weight - MFP responds by judging her on not wanting to be judged instead.
Feel free to send a FR my way, OP. I do not judge. I do, however, log obsessively and comment offensively. But hey, you can't have everything.
Lol looking forward to the offensive commenting
and thanks 0 -
its so difficult being a mom, being a housewife and with 2 stepson. things are stressing me out since I got married and had a baby and live with my stepsons. been trying to lose weight. at first I lose pounds got depressed again and stopped and gain 12 pounds. i'm over eating and cant control myself. garcinia cambogia sucks. don't ever buy that stuff I tried but I gained a lot of pounds and hurst my stomach. everything sucks right now especially with my life0
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CandiceInspo,
....So the fun reality of this is you asked for this entire thread derailing with one simple sentence, "Non-judgmental friends please". You've not been on this site long, and without taking the time to get to know anyone.. (especially those who might be the most help to you) you've ascertained that the forums are teaming with monsters out to hurt feelings when you eat a cookie. You then projected that disdain in your request but thought you'd smooth it over with a barley cloaked nicety that invited everyone who might take offense to respond on principle aka... "and judgmental lovelies please stay away and refrain from commenting".
I'm sorry, but you came in nostrils flaring and the resulting ruckus is entirely your fault. Almost everyone of the people I'm sure you'd label one way or another? Offers incredible advice and support.. and so far not a single one of them has said, "How dare you eat that cookie" Hell half of them try to work cookies into their diets. Making you feel bad about your diet is not what ANY of us are here for. But when you introduce yourself instantly defensive to a community all at the core after the same goal? You alienate a lot of people who might have had your answer to long term success.
Sure I get it, you want a circle of friends you can cry with when that one doughnut turns into a box of donuts... but guess what? I've yet to meet a single person on this site who hasn't struggled with the same problem... they've also never offered advice unless I* asked for it. Had you spent sometime getting to know people before passing your own judgement you would have found the only time these people really get on anyone's case is when they post things that others can read that are inherently unhealthy to share... but 90% of the time? They aren't even judging the person, but correcting bad information and offering the truth. That said... those "judgmental" posts were about fad diets and unhealthy calorie restriction etc... never about an accidental box of cookies after dinner.
I think you should rethink your approach to how you interact with people. A little faith and an open ear can go a long way.0 -
What gets me about this thread is that the OP stated that she wanted non-judgemental friends. She didnt ask if she should have non-judgemental people on her friend's list so why do people feel they need to debate it? The OP isnt asking for advice so why the need to give it?0
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Feel free to add me. I'm not judgemental and will try my best to keep you on track.0
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