Women with non dieting husbands
Csparrow2014
Posts: 27 Member
How do you women with husbands who refuse to diet stay strong. Yesterday I was making a meal for my husband like I used to before I started trying to lose weight. It was chicken with macaroni and cheese, cornbread, and mashed potatoes. I am leaving for a couple of days so I decided to make it for him. I thought I could resist, I was doing so good all day and when I finished cooking I devoured a lot of it.... No moderation here. Now today I feel so disappointed in myself and sick to my stomach. So women how do you still make things for your husband without eating it. And oh yeah my husband is one of those people who can eat mcdonalds everyday and never exercise and never gain a pound while I have gained 15.
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Replies
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How do you women with husbands who refuse to diet stay strong. Yesterday I was making a meal for my husband like I used to before I started trying to lose weight. It was chicken with macaroni and cheese, cornbread, and mashed potatoes. I am leaving for a couple of days so I decided to make it for him. I thought I could resist, I was doing so good all day and when I finished cooking I devoured a lot of it.... No moderation here. Now today I feel so disappointed in myself and sick to my stomach. So women how do you still make things for your husband without eating it. And oh yeah my husband is one of those people who can eat mcdonalds everyday and never exercise and never gain a pound while I have gained 15.
my husband is trying to gain weight while i am trying to lose some bodyfat... i eat the same as him just smaller portions and just dont eat the extras like garlic bread or pudding when he does... if you want to lose weight you just need to exercise a bit of will power...0 -
Cook the same healthy meal for both of you then get him to cook his own extras alongside? That's what I do.0
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I usually eat a light lunch then I cook the evening meal for me and my husband. We eat the same thing, I just have a smaller portion and he might have a few extras, some bread etc..0
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Generally we have the same thing, with different proportions. He gets a big steak with a lot of mash and some peas, I get a smaller steak with a bit of mash and a heap of veg.
He will have pork steak with mac and cheese, I'll have it with a delicious salad.
I find the trick is to make myself something just as yummy as what he is having. You don't have to eat boring bland food. Experiment and find things that fit in your goals that taste great, and you won't feel deprived when he is having something you might otherwise want.
It does help that I'm a huge experimental eater, love salads, new flavours and interesting foods, while he is quite a plain eater. So while he tucks into mash made with cheese and butter, I get just as excited about roasted vegetable couscous in lemon dijon dressing.0 -
LOL it is kind of simple for me. I cook, he eats what I cook and I don't make specialty meals for him. He has actually been enjoying my healthier version of certain dishes. If he wants something else he is free to go pick up chinese or McDonald's. You are very kind to cook for him but I am sure he would understand if you fed him healthier things too.
Good luck to you!0 -
He usually eats what I make. There are nights where I'll make his favorite dinner. I will either have a smaller portion or have something else prepared for me0
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My husband doesn't want to diet, but I'm the one who does the cooking and food shopping. As a result he eats what I make. I just make sure I make the things I want to eat, that fir into my meal plan. He tends to eat a much larger serving then me, and that's fine. I don't feel like I'm missing out. The rule in the house about snacks, is if he wants to have a snack that isn't on the meal plan, then he has to eat it in his study away from me. The whole out of sight out of mind theory. He's pretty good with it, he tends to wait until I'm out in our rec room or down at the pool before he goes snacking.0
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i usually have to make separate meals for him anyway as he is vegetarian, while the rest of us aren't, this is his choice, he was vegetarian before we met so i don't expect him to change his eating habits for me, on the days when i am making something that we all can eat, i just fit it into my calories, i haven't really changed our menu that much to be honest, just got some self control0
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make the same things, but eat smaller portions of it, in particular reduce the serving sizes of carbs
for example, say I make spaghetti bolognaise... well making it with chicken or turkey mince improves the macros (i.e. more protein for fewer calories) but when I serve it, I'll give my husband loads of spaghetti, while I have a small serving of spahgetti, then we both get a fairly generous serving of the sauce, and he'll get lots of cheese on top while I have just a little cheese on top. You can use this site to calculate how many calories are in each thing, and measure the amount of each thing you can have without going over your calories for the day.
there's no need to make two totally separate meals, you just have to be careful about portion sizes. This should be common practice in most households anyway because due to various factors such as body size and amount of lean body mass, men on average need more calories than women.... but a lot of women eat as much as their husbands when they don't need to be, then they get obese while their husband stays thin. Unless she's actually as big as him (including lean body mass not just weight) or her activity levels are that much more than his to cancel out the difference, she should be eating less than him (when pregnant or breastfeeding that may also cancel out the difference)0 -
Thank you ladies for your replies. I truly appreciate it. I will start over today with a different mindset. Thanks.0
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We eat the same thing...
I have a husband with a physical job and a 19 year old son with a physical job...husbands TDEE is 3500 sons is 4300....I eat 1600 calories a day.
At the end of the day regardless of who cooks I eat what was cooked but I stay within my goals...
For example my husbands favorite is pasta and I will make chili burger supper this week which is spagetti, hb, chuncky soup and lots of cheese with garlic bread...it's got a lot of calories...I love it...
I will eat a small portion of the dish and a piece of bread and be done with it.0 -
Thumbs down for cooking separately for him! That will just not do!
If you're the cook in the house, and it sounds like you are, you have a ton of control over what gets put on the table. Invest some time in learning how to cook lighter so you can lighten some of your favorite recipes or find lighter versions. You'd be surprised at how just a little attention to how much oil you use, etc. can make a big difference in calories but not in flavor. (Cooking Light has a really awesome four-cheese macaroni recipe, off the top of my head! And Eating Well is a good magazine with easy recipes.) Take a class if you have to. It's so worth it! You won't feel deprived and hubs gets his favorites. Win-win.0 -
How do you women with husbands who refuse to diet stay strong. Yesterday I was making a meal for my husband like I used to before I started trying to lose weight. It was chicken with macaroni and cheese, cornbread, and mashed potatoes. I am leaving for a couple of days so I decided to make it for him. I thought I could resist, I was doing so good all day and when I finished cooking I devoured a lot of it.... No moderation here. Now today I feel so disappointed in myself and sick to my stomach. So women how do you still make things for your husband without eating it. And oh yeah my husband is one of those people who can eat mcdonalds everyday and never exercise and never gain a pound while I have gained 15.
I remind myself that the body damaging fat goes somewhere, even if it's not on your tummy or tush - usually as blockages in the heart. No such thing as a free lunch.
Why not strike a compromise? That meal is not balanced at all, but you can tweak it. Any one of the components you made isnt horrible for you. The chicken is healthy if it's grilled or baked and not breaded. Your body needs protein. The mac n cheese, corn bread, or mashed potatoes aren't terrible either. Pick one of those items, and make a vegetable or two to go with it.
Oh, and let go of the fact that you ate it, and probably ate too much. Today is a new day.0 -
How do you women with husbands who refuse to diet stay strong. Yesterday I was making a meal for my husband like I used to before I started trying to lose weight. It was chicken with macaroni and cheese, cornbread, and mashed potatoes. I am leaving for a couple of days so I decided to make it for him. I thought I could resist, I was doing so good all day and when I finished cooking I devoured a lot of it.... No moderation here. Now today I feel so disappointed in myself and sick to my stomach. So women how do you still make things for your husband without eating it. And oh yeah my husband is one of those people who can eat mcdonalds everyday and never exercise and never gain a pound while I have gained 15.
Oh yeah, blame the husband. Your body, you decide what you eat. Blame yourself instead and you might get somewhere.
"one of those people who can eat mcdonalds everyday and never exercise and never gain a pound while I have gained 15"
These people do not exist. That is, people who eat excess calories every day, so if he eats McDonalds every day, he must be eating little else so not to exceed his RDA calorie intake. Either that, or you are making things up.0 -
Um. I eat the same things he eats. *shrug* It's called self control.0
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I generally eat the same dinner I cook for my husband just smaller portions. Weigh it out and just make sure you stick within your daily goals 0
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the body damaging fat
the what now?0 -
I'm the same as a lot of people who have already posted.
I'm the cook so I decide what we eat. I take my portion first then leave the rest for him to have as much as he wants. I never feel deprived this way.0 -
My boyfriend has no choice - if he wants to eat something unhealthy he can go ahead and cook for once as I cook every day!!!
for example last night, we had chicken with spinach and sweet potato mash - he grumbled about having no carbs but when I told him to cook some, no carbs didn't seem so bad
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I will make his favorite foods but I just don't eat them. With four kids and a husband that can eat what they want I have just learned to get some self control and only eat what I need to. So yes most nights I make a separate meal for myself. You could just make enough food just for him that way it's only enough for one. I don't feel the need to prescribe to peer pressure to eat things I don't need just because its on the table. If he cooks he doesn't cook special for me, he'll ask but I usually just do it myself .0
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my husband cooks in our family and he is swedish (we also live in sweden) so alot of dishes are potatoe gratan, roasted pork with potato coins and garlic butter, he uses alot of fat in his cooking, he really enjoys food and eating together, so i just adjust my calories for his dinners, since he refuses to let me cook as he loves cooking too much, and well, i love his cooking too.
so i just adjust to fit it in. not sure if it helps your problem, but sometimes everyones 2cents help !
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How do you women with husbands who refuse to diet stay strong.
By having affairs ?0 -
Wrap his Big Mac in divorce papers. That'll straighten him up.0
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How do you women with husbands who refuse to diet stay strong. Yesterday I was making a meal for my husband like I used to before I started trying to lose weight. It was chicken with macaroni and cheese, cornbread, and mashed potatoes. I am leaving for a couple of days so I decided to make it for him. I thought I could resist, I was doing so good all day and when I finished cooking I devoured a lot of it.... No moderation here. Now today I feel so disappointed in myself and sick to my stomach. So women how do you still make things for your husband without eating it. And oh yeah my husband is one of those people who can eat mcdonalds everyday and never exercise and never gain a pound while I have gained 15.
I remind myself that the body damaging fat goes somewhere, even if it's not on your tummy or tush - usually as blockages in the heart. No such thing as a free lunch.
Actually, no it doesn't. If you're talking about an average woman versus an average man who are eating the same amount of food, and she's getting fat while he's not, then the fat in his meals isn't turning into blockages around his heart, it's turning into carbon dioxide, energy and water, because his body needs more energy than hers does. So hers stores the excess as fat (usually around the hips but depending on her body type, maybe around her waist), while his burns it.
The solution to this problem is adjusting the portion sizes to the need of the person and their energy needs.
in a few cases, the wife may need to eat as much as the husband, e.g. if they're both the same size (including the same lean body mass) or if she's more active than him, or if she's pregnant or breastfeeding. But in typical/average cases, women don't need as much food as men, and if husband and wife are eating the same food and she's getting fat and he's not, then it's because she's eating more than she needs and he's not... so she needs to eat less while he continues to eat the same amount.0 -
the body damaging fat
the what now?
You don't know any of those "naturally slim" men who thought mistakenly they were burning all the extra carb and fat calories they were overconsuming and discovered their mistake in an OR or in an ambulance with a paramedic?
And no, I'm not in the "Saturated Fat Will Kill You" camp. I'm just not ignorant enough to think if your tush stays small there's no harm in drastic overconsumption.0 -
Actually, no it doesn't. If you're talking about an average woman versus an average man who are eating the same amount of food, and she's getting fat while he's not, then the fat in his meals isn't turning into blockages around his heart, it's turning into carbon dioxide, energy and water, because his body needs more energy than hers does. So hers stores the excess as fat (usually around the hips but depending on her body type, maybe around her waist), while his burns it.
The solution to this problem is adjusting the portion sizes to the need of the person and their energy needs.
Who said they were eating the same amount? Not the OP.0 -
make the same things, but eat smaller portions of it, in particular reduce the serving sizes of carbs
for example, say I make spaghetti bolognaise... well making it with chicken or turkey mince improves the macros (i.e. more protein for fewer calories) but when I serve it, I'll give my husband loads of spaghetti, while I have a small serving of spahgetti, then we both get a fairly generous serving of the sauce, and he'll get lots of cheese on top while I have just a little cheese on top. You can use this site to calculate how many calories are in each thing, and measure the amount of each thing you can have without going over your calories for the day.
there's no need to make two totally separate meals, you just have to be careful about portion sizes. This should be common practice in most households anyway because due to various factors such as body size and amount of lean body mass, men on average need more calories than women.... but a lot of women eat as much as their husbands when they don't need to be, then they get obese while their husband stays thin. Unless she's actually as big as him (including lean body mass not just weight) or her activity levels are that much more than his to cancel out the difference, she should be eating less than him (when pregnant or breastfeeding that may also cancel out the difference)
Very good advice. I saw this happen to a friend of mine in college. Her husband was 6'4" and rail thing and she was 5'4" or something, and she realized after six months of marriage that she was serving herself the same portions she was giving her husband! I've been guilty of the same thing. It's hard to ignore the social cues of one's husband getting a second portion of something during dinner, but one thing we've changed is to keep the food in the kitchen and not on the dining table; if we want seconds we have to go into the kitchen.0 -
the body damaging fat
the what now?
You don't know any of those "naturally slim" men who thought mistakenly they were burning all the extra carb and fat calories they were overconsuming and discovered their mistake in an OR or in an ambulance with a paramedic?
And no, I'm not in the "Saturated Fat Will Kill You" camp. I'm just not ignorant enough to think if your tush stays small there's no harm in drastic overconsumption.
Naturally slim, or just a healthier diet? Hmm...0 -
the body damaging fat
the what now?
You don't know any of those "naturally slim" men who thought mistakenly they were burning all the extra carb and fat calories they were overconsuming and discovered their mistake in an OR or in an ambulance with a paramedic?
And no, I'm not in the "Saturated Fat Will Kill You" camp. I'm just not ignorant enough to think if your tush stays small there's no harm in drastic overconsumption.
Naturally slim, or just a healthier diet? Hmm...
Well, that depends on whetehr you think 4 meals per day from Burger King and McDonalds 7 days per week for 10 years is healthy. Not that unhealthy eating has to be fast food. Plenty of people eat unhealthily just fine without it.0
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