Women with non dieting husbands
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I cook the same thing for both of us except I eat smaller portions ie: last night I had one scoop of tortallini soup and one piece of garlic bread while he had three scoops of soup and two pieces of bread. Sometimes I'll skip the starch or side and opt for a salad instead. This is the simplest thing I've found to work for us.0
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To address the OP, my boyfriend is trying to gain weight, and so I feed him a ton of food, both very healthy and sometimes less so. He needs 3x as many calories a day than I do. Sometimes it is very hard, but when I cook for him I only have one bite. Then I can taste it, at least. I also sometimes just modify what I'm making. He gets three chicken breasts wrapped in bacon and stuffed with broccoli and cheese , I get one small one topped with a dab of goat cheese and a big side of steamed broccoli.
I also only eat half as often as he does. He eats 5-6 meals a day, I eat 2-3. That helps too. For me, though, the best way is just not touching what I make him apart from one taste. It's just easier.0 -
From the opposite aspect- I do all the cooking and my wife was not dieting, She ate what I ate. When I started doing low carb, I'd make a small side dish of rice or a potato for her. Now she's dieting and doing low carb with me so we eat the same meals.
No way would I be making separate meals for her.0 -
My husband doesn't dictate what I eat. I have enough self-control now that I don't strap a bag of Doritos to my mouth like a feedbag.0
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From the opposite aspect- I do all the cooking and my wife was not dieting, She ate what I ate. When I started doing low carb, I'd make a small side dish of rice or a potato for her. Now she's dieting and doing low carb with me so we eat the same meals.
No way would I be making separate meals for her.
:drinker:0 -
the body damaging fat
the what now?
You don't know any of those "naturally slim" men who thought mistakenly they were burning all the extra carb and fat calories they were overconsuming and discovered their mistake in an OR or in an ambulance with a paramedic?
And no, I'm not in the "Saturated Fat Will Kill You" camp. I'm just not ignorant enough to think if your tush stays small there's no harm in drastic overconsumption.
Naturally slim, or just a healthier diet? Hmm...
Well, that depends on whetehr you think 4 meals per day from Burger King and McDonalds 7 days per week for 10 years is healthy. Not that unhealthy eating has to be fast food. Plenty of people eat unhealthily just fine without it.
This of course is absolute nonsense. What you are suggesting here is that people's metabolism can vary to the extent that they can eat around 4,000-5,000 calories a day without putting on weight.
Complete and utter rubbish.0 -
I do the same as most of the replies so far - cook the same foods for both of us and alter portions based on our needs. Hubby is not only taller and weighs about 40 pounds more than me but he also tends not to eat much during the day so he can eat a lot for dinner. I used to try to keep up and that was part of the reason I gained so much weight. Then I realized I don't need that many calories so I started serving myself less of the food and altering ingredients a bit.
There was some balking at first because he's one of those people that assumes "healthy" or "light" means it's going to taste like cardboard. But I got tricky and didn't let him see up front what I was using for ingredients and would get his opinino afterwards. Most things passed the test that way and those that didn't, we both agreed were horrendous (ground turkey, fat free cheese).
For meat and potato type meals, I take less meat and potatoes and more veg than him. For casserole or one pot meal type dishes, I alter the ingredients a bit (more veg, less/leaner meat, less pasta/rice/potato). And of course make sure whatever portion I take fits into my daily goal - or as closely as I can manage.
Planning meals helps a lot in this regard. Go over your favorite recipes, think of how you can alter them to lower the calories and/or fat a bit (fat doesn't make you fat, it's necessary, but it's also high cal so cut down, not out), plug the ingredients into the recipe builder and tweak them until you come up with a happy medium. It takes some time but you'll get there eventually.0 -
This, my husband works hard labor 12 hours 6days a week. He is also trying to add about 10 lbs to his frame. He needs 3500-4000cals daily and I only need 1800. I add extra butter to his potatoes, he gets extra sauce and his lunches are filled with high cal snacks. If I want I can ruin my deficit for the day by indulging in his snacks but I choose to stay true to my goals while also supporting my husband in his.How do you women with husbands who refuse to diet stay strong. Yesterday I was making a meal for my husband like I used to before I started trying to lose weight. It was chicken with macaroni and cheese, cornbread, and mashed potatoes. I am leaving for a couple of days so I decided to make it for him. I thought I could resist, I was doing so good all day and when I finished cooking I devoured a lot of it.... No moderation here. Now today I feel so disappointed in myself and sick to my stomach. So women how do you still make things for your husband without eating it. And oh yeah my husband is one of those people who can eat mcdonalds everyday and never exercise and never gain a pound while I have gained 15.
my husband is trying to gain weight while i am trying to lose some bodyfat... i eat the same as him just smaller portions and just dont eat the extras like garlic bread or pudding when he does... if you want to lose weight you just need to exercise a bit of will power...0 -
I may not be able to control every aspect of the food coming into the house or across the table. But I can control my portion sizes and what snacks I eat. I still have to make the saucy/creamy food.... and I would rather make it at home where I can control the nutrient content of it, than for him to make it or for him to get it at a restaurant.... and I married a very picky eater.0
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My husband has a metabolic disorder. He eats 6000-7000 calories a day or he loses weight so fast it could land him in the ER. I am forever baking cookies or making double cheese lasagna or giant loaves of bread.
ortunately, he can eat an entire pot of mac and cheese before im donr making my plate. I fix his plate, send him out of the kitchen, and start tupperwaring the rest. Then i fix my plate and eat. Sometimes i eat my dinner while his cooks so im full by the time the mouth watering meal gets done.
I also carb cycle (3 days low, 1 day high). That means i may pine for his cinnamon toast for three days but im making yeasty cinnamon sticky buns on day four. It keeps me in check.
It probably helps a lot that i have a fantastic husband. He asks how my macros are loking so far that day. How many more bottles ofwater do i have? Then he cheers me on. "Two more bottles isnt bad! Its only 2:30, you have plenty of time!" "I know you hate doing this workout, but youre really doing great today!" "When is your carb day? Okay-you want us to pick up donuts on Thursday then?"
ETA: think of it like this-your girlfriends dietary needs arent like yours. Neither are your kids or hubbys or mothers. Nobody is going to eat what your diet requires, so just do your thing and enjoy the company or be a dietary hermit. I bring food to family gey togethers or ask in advance what is being served. Make meal time social hour so the food isnt the focus!
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I cook and my hubby eats it, or he doesn't. Same with the kiddo. I don't run a restaurant, eat what I put infront of you or get your own butt in the kitchen. That also said, my hubby goes to mcdonalds or burger king for a burger at least once a week since I also do not consume or cook red meat. I don't have self control, so if I cook a high calorie meal, even if its for someone else, I will eat it too.0
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My husband is definitely not trying to lose weight. Is is actually about 30-40 lbs underweight! But he is very supportive and encourages me to stay on track with this new lifestyle (I do not call it a diet). He pretty much will eat what ever I make, but always try to find ways to make his favorite foods (pasta) more healthy. With lots of veggies, and whole wheat pasta. While he will eat just a bowl of pasta I will have one cup of pasta and a big salad with light dressing. Sometimes he will have his cravings for the bad stuff like pizza, and if he order I will have a slice or 2. I know that to maintain this lifestyle I will have to treat myself, but I am in the gym the next day working a bit harder than the day before. You just have to sit down and talk about what you really want and why you are trying to get healthy. My husband knows that I doing this for a long term goal of being more healthy for our family and living a longer life.0
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This is a wonderful topic and I thank you for bringing it up. I live in a household with my husband and adult son. They both can eat whatever they like and never have to worry about weight. I, on the other hand have been overweight my entire life. It would be SO much easier to diet and eat healthier if the house was "diet friendly" meaning NO temptations for me. That is simply NEVER gonna happen. I try to remind myself that just because I have to watch what I eat and they don't, I have to do the best that I can. I love the one response about simply using a little "willpower." Ha Ha!!! I wish it was that easy. I wouldn't have fifty pounds to lose if simply using "a little willpower" were easy for me. All this being said, I fix healthy meals and try again each and every single day. The goodies they have in the house and all the sugary things they eat each and every single day are not going away so ... Try and Try again to "simply use a little willpower." :ohwell:0
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We have 5 kids (4 still at home) Before I got serious, I hated making "usual meals". I always ended up either overeating or eating things I knew I shouldn't. For some reason, now that I'm on track -for real this time, I still make the meals as before, but if it's something that will send me over my calories or such, I just have a salad or tuna. Why it doesn't bother me, idk. But for the first time ever, I can watch them devour dinner and be perfectly content with what's on my plate. I think some of it is in the mind. Seriously, I can be satisfied that him and the kids are happy with their dinner, knowing that the change in my life is for ME, not them. I don't make them "suffer" along with me (in their eyes, I'm sure it's suffering) . I just try to keep everyone happy. When they're having something I love, (tonight is spaghetti, one of my faves) it gets a bit hard to control myself, so I always imagine myself this summer, being able to fit into some pretty sweet shorts, and I'll just eat my salad. Visuals help a lot more than I thought they would! 0
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That's awesome hes so supportive especially since he has a medical condition where you guys have to eat almost polar opposite. You healthy less calorie food, and he calorie rich foods. Does he eat a lot of avocados? Those are calorie and fat dense but the good kind. I know I would love to be able to eat avocados daily! lol0
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It stinks and my husband is the same way. He gets tacos, pizza, candy and all the junk food he wants (Grrrr).
Once you get in the habit of logging consistently, it gets easier. If you are exercising, think about it, do you really want to destroy all of your hard work? That said, we can't be perfect all the time, and I allow myself a cheat meal (not a whole day) 1-2 times per month. I do this particularly if I'm going to a restaurant, party, or having a food that I really want to enjoy (like sushi). I have not found that it causes an issue with weight gain and I accept what I choose to eat. If anything, I sometimes think that calorie spike is helpful in boosting my metabolism and allowing a treat every now and then keeps me from majorly derailing.
There are healthy dishes you can make that feel like a treat too (my favorite is a serving size of pasta, loaded up with fresh sauteed veggies, like onions, peppers and mushrooms, combined with pasta sauce and a bit of parmesan cheese). It's a huge quantity of food but 500 calories or less.0 -
I would never cook two meals, what a pain. Luckily, my husband eats whatever I make and is usually really good about getting on board with healthy food choices. I try to lead by example.
If he chooses to have chocolate or Doritos or whatnot, or if I make him something a little extra with dinner ( garlic toast or potatoes, etc.) I just don't partake. It's not a big deal.0 -
This, my husband works hard labor 12 hours 6days a week. He is also trying to add about 10 lbs to his frame. He needs 3500-4000cals daily and I only need 1800. I add extra butter to his potatoes, he gets extra sauce and his lunches are filled with high cal snacks. If I want I can ruin my deficit for the day by indulging in his snacks but I choose to stay true to my goals while also supporting my husband in his.How do you women with husbands who refuse to diet stay strong. Yesterday I was making a meal for my husband like I used to before I started trying to lose weight. It was chicken with macaroni and cheese, cornbread, and mashed potatoes. I am leaving for a couple of days so I decided to make it for him. I thought I could resist, I was doing so good all day and when I finished cooking I devoured a lot of it.... No moderation here. Now today I feel so disappointed in myself and sick to my stomach. So women how do you still make things for your husband without eating it. And oh yeah my husband is one of those people who can eat mcdonalds everyday and never exercise and never gain a pound while I have gained 15.
my husband is trying to gain weight while i am trying to lose some bodyfat... i eat the same as him just smaller portions and just dont eat the extras like garlic bread or pudding when he does... if you want to lose weight you just need to exercise a bit of will power...
Same here! We have different bodies and opposite goals- he has to eat as much as he does to fuel the intense work he does all day and try to gain a little weight. We usually eat the same things, but I weigh my portions out and stay within my calorie goals (most days- I'm not perfect).0 -
I only cook 1 meal. He isn't picky so he will eat anything I make (I'm lucky there) but, where I plan to have 1 serving with steamed veggies, he can help himself to 2 or whatever. I try a lot of recipes to try to find things that are healthy but still very flavorful so we are both happy. Come to think of it, I don't cook anything I don't plan to eat including cookies, biscuits, side dishes...if I won't be able to fit a little bit into my diet, I don't cook it.
If you can't do this, maybe try slow cooker meals for him or something...that way you won't have to stand over the meal cooking it as it calls to you. I find planning my meals really helps too...I don't want to let things go to waste. So I buy everything on Saturday or Sunday for the whole week...that kind of locks me in to sticking to a plan.0 -
ahhh my husband drives me crazy!!! He can eat all day whatever he wants and not gain anything. I try to buy healthier stuff and make him eat it too lol or while he is eating junk I find something healthy0
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I make my boyfriend eat what I eat haha he usually just eats bigger portions than I do. I've also been making healthier alternatives of foods we like0
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We cook healthy. If he wants something, I try to find a healthier version of it. Or I just have less. He typically gets dessert and snacks at night that I don't eat though.. I just learned to deal with it.0
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My husband and I are the same height but he's got about 70 lbs on me. I am much more active so we actually eat almost the same amount. I would say that I eat about 1/4 to 1/3 less of the meals that we cook. I try to allocate most of my cals for dinner so I can eat (within reason) what I want and not be deprived. I also tend to give him more of the carbs and eat more of the veggies.0
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I either make a separate meal for myself or if we're eating the same thing, my portions are waaay smaller. One of the reasons why I gained weight was because I was trying to keep up with him and his portions. Whoops.0
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I was reading all the replies, but I got bored, I have a few techniques that have saved my life since my husband refuses to eat healthier:
First, while you're cooking, chew gum (or eat a hard candy)! you can't try everything or eat mouthfulls while you're chewing gum (try mint or cinnamon) and also drink water everytime you feel like putting the spoon to your mouth while cooking. This will save you a TON of unnecessary calorie intake, lil by lil adds up to a lot!
Second, when serving, measure your portions, you can have what he's having, in smaller portions. It also helps to use a smaller plate, we eat with our eyes first, so if you see a smaller plate full it will satisfy you more than a if you see a large plate half empty!
Third, I always have fat free chicken broth or soup and eat a cup before you start eating, this will help in two ways, first it will make your stomach fuller, so by the time you get to the high calorie meal, you're already half full, hence, eat less.. and second, it will give him time to chew down more of his food so you don't have to sit and stare at him eating while you already finished your tiny plate. (One cup of homemade chicken broth only has around 30 calories! so it's basically guilt free)
Fourth, eat smaller bites and take your time, remember you taste with your mouth/nose, NOT with your stomach!! so the longer you keep it in your mouth, savoring it, the better! you won't taste it when it goes down your throat and I'm pretty sure you like the flavor, not the fattening aspect of it! So take your time to enjoy your dish, put your fork down after every bite and taste each one, try to take as long as he does eating, because we're more likely to over eat if we're sitting at a table with someone who's still eating after we're done. Did you know it takes about 20 minutes for a stomach to let our brain know we're full? Taking your time also ensures you don't over eat by giving your stomach plenty of time to let your brain know that you're satisfied.
AND FIFTH, if aaall else fails and you're still hungry, finish with a salad or a cup of steamed vegetables and a glass of water!
These tips have avoided me a LOT of extra calories, I hope they help you too!! :-)0 -
We're struggling with this right now. I do the cooking, & he had a hard time when I went vegetarian in June, but was happy with (tolerated?) the carb-heavy meals. Now that I'm adding in more vegetables, less crap, we can't find a balance. I'm frustrated that he won't eat what I make, & he's frustrated that I'm making things he doesn't like - but when I ask for his help in meal planning, he either has no feedback or suggests meals with no nutritional value. I've suggested that he make some meat on his own to add, or even just buy frozen chicken to add to his portions, but he hasn't. Luckily I haven't budged on cooking healthy, either, so he's losing out more, but it's hard.0
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Wrap his Big Mac in divorce papers. That'll straighten him up.
Could I do the same??? :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
We're struggling with this right now. I do the cooking, & he had a hard time when I went vegetarian in June, but was happy with (tolerated?) the carb-heavy meals. Now that I'm adding in more vegetables, less crap, we can't find a balance. I'm frustrated that he won't eat what I make, & he's frustrated that I'm making things he doesn't like - but when I ask for his help in meal planning, he either has no feedback or suggests meals with no nutritional value. I've suggested that he make some meat on his own to add, or even just buy frozen chicken to add to his portions, but he hasn't. Luckily I haven't budged on cooking healthy, either, so he's losing out more, but it's hard.
Not everyone is going to eat vegetarian and like it...
I for one would not, I like my meat.....
The important thing if weight loss is the goal, is making sure calories in, is less than what you use....calories out.
And have him eat fruit and veggies to get some of the micronutrients.0 -
OK, now I want Doritos. :grumble:I don't strap a bag of Doritos to my mouth like a feedbag.
I guess I'm lucky. Mine supports me and even weighs ingredients when he's cooking, so I can log it all accurately.
Otherwise: he just gets to eat more than I do, and I have to live with that.0 -
One other thing I will note, in regards to women and their husbands....
Weight loss and eating is a personal choice....you can't force it.
You can make "healthier" foods...and he can eat it or make his own....
But don't try to force things on him.....
Would you be open to him forcing foods down your throat, and insinuating hey "you eat like crap, and you are a fat slob.....eat better and lose some weight".....
Tell me that is not what you would be thinking if the guy were doing that......
I know I got it when I tried doing that with my wife....so now I just STFU and eat what I like....she can eat whatever she wants.0
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