Women with non dieting husbands

I cook, he eats what I make (with the exception of my venturing into making a raw food sloppy joe "meat" one time , terrible terrible idea). Generally he just eats more of the meal than I do.

ETA: I still make his favorite meals that aren't perfectly ideally healthy, but I know when it's coming, so I fit it in and if it doesn't fit, then I won't eat the less healthy portions of the meal.

Wrap his Big Mac in divorce papers. That'll straighten him up.

Why do people always do this? She's irritated that her husband can eat cheese, so she should divorce him? Moron.

It's called sarcasm....

Ok, fair enough.

Problem is, I've seen that kind of post so many times on this forum, and serious rather than sarcastic. People think they're being clever, but actually it's tired, not that funny, and doesn't help the OP. She has asked for help with something she is finding difficult and making snarky remarks trivialises a problem which to her is serious. Without some indication that it is meant as a light-hearted remark it just comes across as jerkish. Besides, would you tell a complete stranger to divorce their husband if you were speaking to them face to face, even in jest?

So women how do you still make things for your husband without eating it

I suppose I could have said "put on your big girl panties and learn some willpower," but I don't think that was the solution the OP was looking for (too obvious, and probably not "supportive" enough since she is clearly not accountable for her food consumption).

I've also gotten warnings from the mods for being "hateful" in my suggestions, so I will just stick with being absurd/silly.

Personally I find the "put on your big girl panties" suggestion less offensive than the sarky divorce comment, but that might just be me.

I kind of agree with you to some extent about being responsible for your food intake. However, I know what it is like to crave chocolate and not be able to resist. It's like it's sitting there on the work surface, speaking to me "eat me, eat me". So while broadly speaking we are responsible for what we put in our mouths, it is much much easier if our favourite yummy things aren't thrust into our personal space. You can't always beat your subconscious.

This is why:

Don't beat yourself up about moderation going out the window.

We only eat together for dinner and weekends - we're at work the rest of the time. I try to have a high-protein, yummy breakfast (I made Bisquick Impossible Min-Pies with leftovers - they're in the freezer, fast, easy, chicken/veggies/eggs/a little cheese and end up right around 300 calories and filling), then pack or eat lunch at school where I teach.

For dinner I made the same stuff I've pretty much always made but pay A LOT more attention to my portions. I know that was a bad area for me. We live on a farm so I cook a lot of simple/meat and potatoes kind of meals but the traditional rule in our families has always been - meat, carb, and veggie minimum for meal, fruit/dessert after. I'm not sure our diet, with a lot of beef and pork and almost no fish, and meat at every meal would be considered healthy by a lot of people, but we don't do a lot of sauces or gravies, etc. and we do a lot of grilling and baking and we've done it that way for generations so I'm OK with it. It is not a meal if my husband doesn't have dessert. I love the carbs and cheese and stuff that can load up the calories so I don't deny myself, I just have a little. No butter on cornbread (or pair it with mashed winter squash), a 1/4 cup of mac and cheese, load up on the veggies, etc. If I allow myself a half serving of something that's high cal/a guilty pleasure it doesn't make me guilty.

We forget sometimes that food isn't just nutrients we're putting in our body. It's emotional too and fun and yummy! I also believe that getting down on myself about eating something will probably just increase my stress and make it harder for me to lose weight. Don't deny yourself and longingly look over at your husband's plate wishing you could have some. Portion out a little for yourself and enjoy. Put it on a plate, measure it out and then eat it. Don't take a bite out of the pot/pan, because before you know it, you've eaten more than you planned and the guilt sets in. I know that if I denied myself all the yummy things I love, I'd cave and binge, so I don't deny myself. Same with dessert (but not every night like him, I plan or see where I'm at calorie-wise).

I haven't changed what I eat that much since I started MYP in late Sept/early Oct last year. I'm working on portions and snacking and generally have been more aware. I can't even say I eat "clean" exclusively. I still have an Oreo or two for dessert sometimes and stop for a fast food lunch once in a while. But I pay attention to everything I'm putting in my body, and I'm down over 20 pounds.

Don't punish yourself and don't deny yourself. Small steps.

My husband doesn't want to diet, but I'm the one who does the cooking and food shopping. As a result he eats what I make. I just make sure I make the things I want to eat, that fir into my meal plan. He tends to eat a much larger serving then me, and that's fine. I don't feel like I'm missing out. The rule in the house about snacks, is if he wants to have a snack that isn't on the meal plan, then he has to eat it in his study away from me. The whole out of sight out of mind theory. He's pretty good with it, he tends to wait until I'm out in our rec room or down at the pool before he goes snacking.

If my husband told me there was a "snack rule" and I wasn't allowed to snack in front of him and be sent to a different room I'd seriously laugh at him.

My response is similar to most PPs: I have my husband, a 12 year old stepson and an 18 month old so it's kind of all over the place as far as food goes and portion sizes. I tend to eat lower carb so I will make myself something different than the others out of basically the same things (for example, they'll have tacos, I'll take the meat and make a taco salad). I also will make the make the protein up to a certain point, take out some meat for me and add the sauce/pasta/rice/whatever else for the others. Making a side for them also works like potatoes, bread, or pasta in addition to the veggies.

Mind control!

I cook. He eats what I cook. He has said it many times... He will eat what I cook or he will cook. He has cooked MAYBE 5 times in 5 years...and he's fine, in fact he's a U.S Marine.

I won't make 2-3 different dinners, that is torture. I will make something different for my 5 yr old if I KNOW she HATES it and has tried it many many times.

He loves you, he will eat whatever. If not...less work for you.

How do you women with husbands who refuse to diet stay strong. Yesterday I was making a meal for my husband like I used to before I started trying to lose weight. It was chicken with macaroni and cheese, cornbread, and mashed potatoes. I am leaving for a couple of days so I decided to make it for him. I thought I could resist, I was doing so good all day and when I finished cooking I devoured a lot of it.... No moderation here. Now today I feel so disappointed in myself and sick to my stomach. So women how do you still make things for your husband without eating it. And oh yeah my husband is one of those people who can eat mcdonalds everyday and never exercise and never gain a pound while I have gained 15.

I make the same foods for both of us. I just don't eat two servings. I usually start off with a huge salad and lots of water so by the time I get to the meat and potatoes, I'm not that hungry.

My husband & I eat basically the same stuff, but he loves macaroni & cheese...So I have started dividing the box into 3 servings and only cooking 1/3 of it at a time. This way there is only enough for him (minus a bite or two if I'm weak).

Same food, different portions. He's bulking and I'm slimming. But we're both trying to get a lot of fiber and protein. So it's easy for us to decide on the foods we eat. But yep. Like others have said. Same stuff, smaller amounts.

We choose our meals together, but they are mostly my suggestion. We are both fairly adventurous, so it works for us. In fact, he just baked some pumpernickel bread over the weekend. I don't like pumpernickel so I wouldn't make it for him. I'm vegetarian, he isn't. He's welcome to eat what he likes, but he has to make it if I'm not interested. He also sometimes treats himself at lunch while he's at work.

I do sometimes make slightly healthier choices. Chili with no cheese or less cheese. Choosing to eat Indian food without he white rice.

My husband doesn't want to diet, but I'm the one who does the cooking and food shopping. As a result he eats what I make.

This.

How do you women with husbands who refuse to diet stay strong. Yesterday I was making a meal for my husband like I used to before I started trying to lose weight. It was chicken with macaroni and cheese, cornbread, and mashed potatoes. I am leaving for a couple of days so I decided to make it for him. I thought I could resist, I was doing so good all day and when I finished cooking I devoured a lot of it.... No moderation here. Now today I feel so disappointed in myself and sick to my stomach. So women how do you still make things for your husband without eating it. And oh yeah my husband is one of those people who can eat mcdonalds everyday and never exercise and never gain a pound while I have gained 15.

my husband is trying to gain weight while i am trying to lose some bodyfat... i eat the same as him just smaller portions and just dont eat the extras like garlic bread or pudding when he does... if you want to lose weight you just need to exercise a bit of will power...


^This +1

My bf is trying to gain weight while I lose and the man eats everything. There is always chips, poptarts, cookies, candy, ice cream, etc in my house. I just don't eat it. It's not worth it to me. Or if I want it I make it fit. The way I see it is I chose to change my habits not him so why should he be forced into it? It's easy make little switches at dinner without having to make two totally separate meals. Like if you are making pasta just make some spaghetti squash or zucchini noodles for yourself. Or like others have said have tacos and make yours a taco salad. The other thing I do to help account for those heavier dinners is I try to leave about half of my calories for the day for the evening. That way I can eat what I want, have a glass of wine, or be ok if we need to grab something quick. If I'm going to do this for ever then it's gotta work....for both of us!

I am responsible for myself and I don't point fingers at other people if I can't control myself.

I have also never let my diet cause problems between me and the people I care about.

bumpy