Friends became Distance

Actually I found shift work did that - different days off - different hours off - a shift worker's schedule does not work well with someone who works bankers hours Monday thru Friday. Sad but true.

+1 million to this. I've been doing shift work for the past four years and it is a lifestyle killer.

I haven't had this problem with fitness goals, though. Most people are supportive or don't care one way or the other.

Definitely kills your lifestyle. Trying to make plans with other people who work shift work is ridiculously difficult. I've found if I'm only working a few hours, I miss out on seeing people and hearing about plans. I end up seeing the photos post-event.

If people aren't going to be supportive, that's their issue. Big life changes certainly sort out who your real friends are that's for sure!

I had friends disappear when I lost 50lb because I was no fun to eat with any more - I wouldn't sit there and gorge on pizza and follow it up with ice cream. Instead, I'd order a salad with the dressing on the side and have a breadstick or two to accompany, but they felt I was "showing off" or something. At one point I had a falling out with one person I thought was my friend, where I sarcastically apologized for trying to avoid the heart disease which is so common in my family and lose the weight which makes it difficult to look myself in the mirror by taking better care of myself, and we haven't spoken since. Recently, I heard that there was a rumor I'd caught some disease (AIDS or HIV or something) that was causing me to lose weight. I am neither HIV nor AIDS positive, thank the forces that be (but, of course it can't be that I'm being mindful of what I eat and have started exercising more. No, no, I'm sick, that must explain it!), and found out my grandfather was saying I was on a vegan diet, so at my last large family dinner, I got to defend my eating choices from my misinformed family who were sitting there stuffing their faces with fatty foods covered in gravy while simultaneously telling me that I'm killing myself with my dietary decisions... That was rich coming from them. I'm not now, nor have I ever been vegan, so I don't know where he got that, but then came the facebook messages from family members telling me I needed to eat protein and that I was doing unhealthy things and that I'm beautiful the way I am (funny, considering almost all of them are overweight and haven't seen me in years).

People get ridiculous when they see you changing, and seem to feel that you're doing things to put them to shame. I'm currently at the point where I'm trying to find the humor in their attacking me for trying not to slowly kill myself through food when they claim to care about me and want me to be happy. If they really wanted me to be happy, they would congratulate me for my hard work instead of berate me for making a decision they've chosen not to. I don't sit there and tell them they're making horrible decisions, even though the majority of them are far past being in the morbidly obese category and I'm not any more. My health has improved drastically and I'm off of all of my medications (with my doctor's approval, of course). My cholesterol is still higher than it should be, but that may be hereditary, and I'm working on it. I'm a work in progress, and that's ok with me. They can choose to cheer me on, join me, or stay in my past. The choice is theirs, and I'm fine with whatever they choose.

I don't have a lot of friends anyway. the ones I do have I try to spend time with as much as possible but im lucky where most of them have children too and their time is precious too. I see a couple of friends once a week, and its just a cup of coffee and maybe a biscuit and the others I see maybe once a month or less and I drink with them but I don't drink a lot and it fits in my calories. I have been called boring and obsessed by some of my friends but that's ok, they aren't being mean about it, they are just used to the old me. They will come around...eventually!!

Time for new friends.
If they can't accept the new you, they need to be kicked to the curb! No need having people like that in your life.

I have a friend who's really unhealthy and I try to convince her to eat healthy with me and come to the gym but she tries to justify her unhealthy lifestyle as being 'healthy' and then gets hella offended when I order something healthy when we go out. Annoying.

did you develop a holier-than-thou attitude about it?

Survey says...

Number 1 answer!!!!!

Actually I found shift work did that - different days off - different hours off - a shift worker's schedule does not work well with someone who works bankers hours Monday thru Friday. Sad but true.

+1 million to this. I've been doing shift work for the past four years and it is a lifestyle killer.

I haven't had this problem with fitness goals, though. Most people are supportive or don't care one way or the other.

I have done shift work since I started working when I was a teenager, including night shift at the nursing homes I've worked at (I'm a CNA), and I'll be 23 next week. I agree with this.

<looks for a Like button>

I would never ditch my friends for a lifestyle change. They are very important to me and my mental health. I'd be a lunatic without them! Your friend is upset because you don't have time to spend with her because you're too busy working out? That is pretty understandable. Doesn't sound like jealousy to me.

My best mate started getting fit about six months before I did which was great. She tried a few times to get me involved and I just wasn't all that interested. Then after listening to her tell me over and over about how great she was feeling I became quite jealous. Not because she was doing so great (because she was, and still is, doing FREAKING AWESOMELY! and I am so proud of her for that), but because I wanted to feel like her. So I decided to change my lifestyle too - I desperately needed to anyway but having a supportive friend made a HUUUGE difference. I do have a point in there somewhere lol. I think you could maybe try to get your friends involved with your exercise. If you run invite them along, same with aerobics or spin classes or swimming. Even if it's just once a week. You are still spending time together an you may have an hour or so afterwards to catch up? Even if your friends don't need to lose weight or get fit a little exercise isn't going to hurt them. I hope things sort themselves out. x

I have not encountered this with my friends (which I feel incredibly lucky about), however, I have encountered this with some of my family members. I am (was) very close with my aunt, but since I have changed certain habits she has become distant to me. When all of us were together and we ordered pizza, I chose to order a no cheese, wheat crust and veggie pizza (small) to share between me and my father and she actually flipped out and yelled at us for not eating normal for a day. I was shocked because I never suggest that anyone eat what I am eating or to live the life I live, but to completely go off the deep end for something that really didn't even concern her was amazing. Since then we have barely spoken, although I dont believe that the reason we dont speak as much is only because of my desire to get healthy, I do think that it bothers her.

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