Tell your best joke!
Replies
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I don't tell jokes, but I do always use the "I'm serious but I'm just kidding" or "I'm just kidding..but I'm serious", no joke needed.
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"What did the shoes say to the pants?"
What's up britches!
That's all I got.0 -
Lol0
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A neighborhood boy comes running up to me crying.
I asked him what was wrong and he replies "my father just died"
So i asked him if he wanted me to call a priest. He looked at me and says
"NO!. Now is not the time for sex!"
IBTRAL0 -
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Yah a sexy beast...just saying.0 -
This is my son's favorite....
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poke her face!0 -
How does the man in the moon cut his hair?
ECLIPSE IT!0 -
your mother is so fat not even the holy spirit can lift her.0
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I don't have any jokes, but I do love this one.
When I was a kid, I prayed and prayed for a bike.
Then my mom said, “Religion doesn’t work that way.”
So I stole a bike
and asked God for forgiveness.
Emo Phillips.0 -
What do you find inside a clean nose?
Fingerprints
Sadly, that's my best.0 -
How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat?
she fits into your wifes clothes!0 -
How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat?
she fits into your wifes clothes!
:noway: my gawd!0 -
that's funny. LmaoHow do you know your girlfriend is getting fat?
she fits into your wifes clothes!
:noway: my gawd!0 -
Not when your wife finally fits yours.
that's funny. LmaoHow do you know your girlfriend is getting fat?
she fits into your wifes clothes!
:noway: my gawd!
Edit: Don't kill me. Was trying to make it funny.0 -
How do you get a condom on an elephant?
You take the "x" out of sex
and the "f" out of way
(Give it a second to sink in)
There is no f___in way!0 -
What's the difference between your wife and your job?
After 5 years your job still sucks.0 -
LOL! LOVE this!0 -
Too cute not to put this on here:
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A man is lying in bed in the hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young nurse appears to sponge his hands and feet.
"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your hands and feet".
He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, are my testicles black?" Finally, she pulls back the covers, raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in her other hand and takes a close look, and says "There is nothing wrong with them!"
Finally, the man pulls off his oxygen mask and replies, "That was very nice but, are... my... test... results... back?0 -
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to **** your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."0 -
that's freakin funnyA man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to **** your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."0 -
A man is lying in bed in the hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young nurse appears to sponge his hands and feet.
"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your hands and feet".
He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, are my testicles black?" Finally, she pulls back the covers, raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in her other hand and takes a close look, and says "There is nothing wrong with them!"
Finally, the man pulls off his oxygen mask and replies, "That was very nice but, are... my... test... results... back?
LOL I could see that happening0 -
All I got are dead baby jokes...0
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Q: Why don't witches wear underwear?
A: For a better grip on there broomstick!0 -
Q: Why don't witches wear underwear?
A: For a better grip on there broomstick!
:drinker: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
are you a witch?Q: Why don't witches wear underwear?
A: For a better grip on there broomstick!
I've got a broom!0 -
oh boy....and heeeere we go.....bahahahahhahaaha. Love it!!0
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are you a witch?Q: Why don't witches wear underwear?
A: For a better grip on there broomstick!
I've got a broom!
Show me.0 -
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands. I love this joke, it never grows old.0
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