Am I just to Sensitive?

jbella99
jbella99 Posts: 596 Member
in Chit-Chat
So this past Saturday I went to a social with my boyfriend and a friend of his. I spent most of the night listening to my bf and his friend make comments about they way the girls were dressed. Am I the only women who feels like a piece of crap when their significant other points out skinnier, younger, pretty women? I realize we are all human and we all look. It's not the looking that bothers me.
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Replies

  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    Just break up.
  • bperkins88
    bperkins88 Posts: 357 Member
    yeah sounds like you should just break up
  • JamesRustler
    JamesRustler Posts: 45 Member
    You're way over sensitive.

    There will always be younger, thinner women than you. It's a natural reaction for a man to take a quick look. Doesn't mean he's going to cheat or anything. It just one of those things you need to deal with.
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    Put up a big ol' Ian Somerhalder poster in your bedroom.
  • jbella99
    jbella99 Posts: 596 Member
    I didn't say the looking bothered me. It's the comments that bother me.
  • badgerdh
    badgerdh Posts: 179 Member
    'What the hell is a social???
  • jbella99
    jbella99 Posts: 596 Member
    'What the hell is a social???

    oh sorry.. I am Canadian. Before a wedding the couple has a social.. they charge 10 dollars to get in you buy booze and they have prizes. It's to raise money for their wedding. Ukrainian tradition I think. But everyone here in Manitoba has them.
  • lkeverett1
    lkeverett1 Posts: 34 Member
    It seems a little disrespectful to me. I'm with you, I don't mind my husband looking (he's married, not dead). But if he is going to comment it doesn't need to be in my presence. To me that would be something he would do with his buddies.
  • Whyareyoumad
    Whyareyoumad Posts: 268 Member
    Maybe its my age, but I think it is rude for a man to make comments to anyone about another woman in the presence of their spouse/gf. If you think you can sneak a peek, go for it, but ladies know when their man checks out another woman anyway. Just dont say anything.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    You're way over sensitive.

    There will always be younger, thinner women than you. It's a natural reaction for a man to take a quick look. Doesn't mean he's going to cheat or anything. It just one of those things you need to deal with.

    Looking is natural. Kind of weird that he's pointing them all out in front of her, though.
  • badgerdh
    badgerdh Posts: 179 Member
    'What the hell is a social???

    oh sorry.. I am Canadian. Before a wedding the couple has a social.. they charge 10 dollars to get in you buy booze and they have prizes. It's to raise money for their wedding. Ukrainian tradition I think. But everyone here in Manitoba has them.

    Sounds kinda fun...considering drinking is involved I wonder why this hasn't caught on in Wisconsin...
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    Maybe its my age, but I think it is rude for a man to make comments to anyone about another woman in the presence of their spouse/gf. If you think you can sneak a peek, go for it, but ladies know when their man checks out another woman anyway. Just dont say anything.
    UNLESS... The woman they're with is bi and they can appreciate eyecandy together.
  • Fujinda
    Fujinda Posts: 2
    Depending on your approach to him, will he listen to you? if not i suggest you give him a taste of his own medicine. Phone a friend when he there and have a girly chat about the hot guy at work/school/ pool..well you get the idea
  • jbella99
    jbella99 Posts: 596 Member
    Maybe its my age, but I think it is rude for a man to make comments to anyone about another woman in the presence of their spouse/gf. If you think you can sneak a peek, go for it, but ladies know when their man checks out another woman anyway. Just dont say anything.

    these were the comments I was most pissed off at.

    very very petit girl maybe 22 years old. "hey you should get a dress like that" yep that made me feel like a huge whale.

    two girls kissing on the dance floor. " hey honey, maybe they need a ride home."

    "girls never dressed like this when I was young if they did I'd be on the floor doing the worm all night."

    I am sure they're were other ones. His friend is single so I kinda expected it from him.
  • donnat238
    donnat238 Posts: 309 Member
    I think it's rude and insensitive! I would never do that my boyfriend or a date.
  • lavaughan69
    lavaughan69 Posts: 459 Member
    My husband never ever talks about other women in front of me. And in turn, I don't comment on other men. I've never even caught him looking at another woman, he's incredibly subtle. And don't get me wrong, it's only human nature to look...but you can do it without being obvious or insulting to the woman you are with.
  • jbella99
    jbella99 Posts: 596 Member
    Depending on your approach to him, will he listen to you? if not i suggest you give him a taste of his own medicine. Phone a friend when he there and have a girly chat about the hot guy at work/school/ pool..well you get the idea

    No he doesn't listen. I said if he wanted to take the lesbians home I am sure his friend would give me a ride and he could pick up his **** in the morning. He has been ignoring me ever since. BTW we live together so it's been an awkward silence for a few days.
  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
    ...
    very very petit girl maybe 22 years old. "hey you should get a dress like that" yep that made me feel like a huge whale.
    ...

    I would have thought "hey, you SHOULDN'T get a dress like that" would have been the insult ..
  • jbella99
    jbella99 Posts: 596 Member
    My husband never ever talks about other women in front of me. And in turn, I don't comment on other men. I've never even caught him looking at another woman, he's incredibly subtle. And don't get me wrong, it's only human nature to look...but you can do it without being obvious or insulting to the woman you are with.

    hang on tight to that man.
  • mikeykhan2003
    mikeykhan2003 Posts: 177
    Just break up.

    Boom. Mikey's internet rule in 1.

    Also, holy hell OP you meant TOO sensitive, not to. Learn to spell.

    1. If that hurt your feelings, yes.
    2. If that didn't hurt your feelings, need more information.
  • Chain_Ring
    Chain_Ring Posts: 753 Member
    yep, definitely break up.
  • renley
    renley Posts: 35 Member
    'What the hell is a social???

    oh sorry.. I am Canadian. Before a wedding the couple has a social.. they charge 10 dollars to get in you buy booze and they have prizes. It's to raise money for their wedding. Ukrainian tradition I think. But everyone here in Manitoba has them.

    Sounds totally bizzare. I am Canadian too, and have never heard of this tradition. Want to get married? Save some money or cut down on plans to what you can afford. Glad I don't live in Manitoba.
  • hopefaithlove24
    hopefaithlove24 Posts: 454 Member
    'What the hell is a social???

    oh sorry.. I am Canadian. Before a wedding the couple has a social.. they charge 10 dollars to get in you buy booze and they have prizes. It's to raise money for their wedding. Ukrainian tradition I think. But everyone here in Manitoba has them.

    Canadian too, but called 'Stag and Doe' or 'Buck and Doe' here...
  • jbella99
    jbella99 Posts: 596 Member
    Just break up.

    Boom. Mikey's internet rule in 1.

    Also, holy hell OP you meant TOO sensitive, not to. Learn to spell.

    1. If that hurt your feelings, yes.
    2. If that didn't hurt your feelings, need more information.

    hahaha. Okay so I'm having an off day. I meant too sensitive and no that does not hurt my feelings. I am usually the grammar/spelling police so I find it quite amusing,
  • sassyjae21
    sassyjae21 Posts: 1,217 Member
    Sounds like jerk to me. I wish my boyfriend WOULD. Unaccpetable behavior. But if you've put up with it in the past, he's going to keep doing it. I suggest you work on your self esteem because letting him disrespect you like that is ridic. Get it together.

    ETA: it's damn near impossible to notice but don't even let me catch you looking. I give my bf the same respect. If I notice a hot dude I just pretend I don't see him. So disrespectful to do that around your significant other.
  • kgeyser
    kgeyser Posts: 22,505 Member
    Looking wouldn't bother me, but the comments would be unacceptable.
  • jbella99
    jbella99 Posts: 596 Member
    'What the hell is a social???

    oh sorry.. I am Canadian. Before a wedding the couple has a social.. they charge 10 dollars to get in you buy booze and they have prizes. It's to raise money for their wedding. Ukrainian tradition I think. But everyone here in Manitoba has them.

    Sounds totally bizzare. I am Canadian too, and have never heard of this tradition. Want to get married? Save some money or cut down on plans to what you can afford. Glad I don't live in Manitoba.

    I believe it also covers the "you didn't invite me to wedding" Party with all the people who you just can't possibly invite to your wedding.
  • renley
    renley Posts: 35 Member
    'What the hell is a social???

    oh sorry.. I am Canadian. Before a wedding the couple has a social.. they charge 10 dollars to get in you buy booze and they have prizes. It's to raise money for their wedding. Ukrainian tradition I think. But everyone here in Manitoba has them.
  • sillygoosie
    sillygoosie Posts: 1,109 Member
    Maybe its my age, but I think it is rude for a man to make comments to anyone about another woman in the presence of their spouse/gf. If you think you can sneak a peek, go for it, but ladies know when their man checks out another woman anyway. Just dont say anything.

    these were the comments I was most pissed off at.

    very very petit girl maybe 22 years old. "hey you should get a dress like that" yep that made me feel like a huge whale.

    two girls kissing on the dance floor. " hey honey, maybe they need a ride home."

    "girls never dressed like this when I was young if they did I'd be on the floor doing the worm all night."

    I am sure they're were other ones. His friend is single so I kinda expected it from him.

    Those seem like really harmless comments. I wouldn't be offended or hurt by those. To be fair, in my relationship, I'm the one who usually points out the beautiful people.
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
    A few comments can slide, but if it is a constant commentary with practically no other subject discussed then that is horribly disrespectful. Yes, I know he's looking, but I don't want to hear about it all night long.

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