Teenager having issues

It is tough to be 15 and overweight. When I was in my early years of high school I was sad when winter ended and I had to stop wearing hoodies. I didn't like wearing a t-shirt because I was fat and my man boobs were awful. It was an absolute confidence killer and I was a social MESS just because of what I looked like. Sure, most people didn't care at all, but the few glances that I got made me almost crumble.

So understand where she is coming from. It is difficult. But she is still young enough by the time she is 16/17/18 she can be in the best shape of her life if she learns proper eating habits and proper exercise. You're her mother, talk to her and help her. Even though she is at the age where she probably acts like she hates you, she loves you just as much as always. Teens are like that, I remember being like that...but I never stopped listening to the advice my parents gave me.

Have her preportion the stuff in the fridge instead of doing it for her.

Have her pick a recipe to cook for the family.

These things will teach her about portions and help her take responsibility for her choices. And generally, kids are more likely to eat what they pick out.

Who knows, she may love it and "fend for yourself night" might become "gourmet night."

It's a tricky subject...but I feel like it'll cause her more pain in the long run if you don't address the issue than if you do. The trick is to say it in such a way that she knows that you are concerned for her, and that you will help her every step along way.

Does she know you are losing weight? I don't have kids, but I remember very well being that age Talk to her openly about you losing weight and that it can be an OK thing if someone isn't trying to get too thin. Talk about how to do it healthily and slowly. Of course, do emphasize health and fitness. I don't disagree with that at all. But the reality is that a 15-year-old girl cares about what she looks like and that can be OK. Losing weight for health, fitness and looking better are a common and fine combo, imho.

I'm sure her friends have insane diet theories and ideas of how thin to be and all that awfulness that comes with being a girl that age. Most of it is awful because of ignorance, imho. So adults should just be open about what the real deal is, I think. If she wants to, say, get to the top weight of the suggested BMI for her, I'd think that was fine, personally. Then I'd try to make sure she's doing it the sane way, not the 15-yr-old girl way! Be open, imho. She's already said she hates her body and you noticed she's overweight. So let her know that she can fix that, and that it's all fine. Nothing to obsess over, but perfectly natural and healthy

I wouldn't use the word 'diet' but you know the drill as a parent, I'm sure. Still, there's no reason a girl can't make a 'healthy lifestyle change' if she's overweight. Don't be afraid to just talk about that and see her thoughts (mostly her thoughts, of course). Just mho

when you can't make her dinner for her, why not leave her a recipe to make. you say your food is pre portioned in the fridge. leave her a note on the fridge of what to make and what she needs. this way she learns to cook and learns how much she needs and the food she is eating will be healthy. i know what its like to be a fat teen and its absolutely hell. hope you can get this sorted soon.

Invite her here and teach her. Let her learn how to take care of herself if she is fending for herself. Just point her in the right directions and educate. PE doesnt really do that.

It's very hard for kids and young people in general. I was just like her growing up. The problem is that, if you're lucky enough to have a supporting family, the rest of the world won't be. They make fun of you and it's generally hard to find your own personality and path if you're dealing with self image issue.
When I was a little girl I was often blamed by my mother because I was fat, even though I was fat because of them also. She would take me to shops to buy some clothes when it was clear that I wouldn't fit in fitted girl's clothing because I was still a chubby kid. She would always point out that I should have eaten less and stuff like that. You have to be rather subdle if you want to really help your daughter. I mean, you don't have to tell her that she needs to lose weight, or that she could be eating more veggies and so on. She probably already knows these things by herself if she refers to herself as fat and tries to hide. I think the best approach would be trying to reassure her that's she's not ugly, that she doesn't have to hide, that she needs to feel comfortable in her own skin no matter what. But you might suggest her that if it's a burden to her or if she's concerned about having gained a bit of weight, she might always make up for it. It doesn't take much at such an early age, avoid some junk food, be more active, and it's done. Put it in very simple terms. Don't make her feel like she HAS to lose weight, just make her understand that if she really wants and needs, she can do it. Try to make it looks like it's just healthier, and it doesn't make any harm to embrace some healthier eating habits. Just don't make a big fuss about it. If she feels low because of it, it's going to be clear. If she tries to hide even more it will become visible. Be there for her emotional needs before anything else, because it's not being fat that destroys you, it's the way you feel about it.

I am a youth pastor who spends a lot of time around teenagers. Although I do not have children of my own, I have talked to make a young girl with body-image problems. Some of them were actually overweight- like your daughter. When a young person is at an unhealthy weight, it does no good to lie to them. Is she beautiful just the way she is- Yes. Absolutely. It's important she knows that weight has nothing to do with beauty. Is she healthy at the weight she is at? No. Don't tell her she's fine the way she is. Tell her she is beautiful, and she should never feel anything but beautiful; but that her current weight isn't the best for her health.

When you're talking to teenagers, it's important that you frame weight loss discussions the right way. Weight loss isn't about looking better, it's about becoming healthier and being more active. If she is 5'5'', then getting down to 145 would put her in a healthy BMI range. Print off a BMI chart and show it to her, don't hide the fact that she would be healthier at a lower weight. But make sure she knows that you are also trying to make healthy changes for yourself and get into a healthy weight range. Let her know that almost 70% of the country is overweight or obese, and it's nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. It's not a defect, there's nothing wrong with her, and she isn't helpless. There are plenty of things she can do to get herself down to a healthy weight. It will just take time, determination, and patience.

Don't emphasize eating less, emphasize eating right and moving more. Don't try to cut out her favorite treats, just make sure she knows a treat isn't the first thing you grab for when you're hungry, it's something to be had sparingly. Have her help you make healthy foods and prep veggies and fruits for regular snacks. Teach her about nutrition and don't let her obsess over the scale, but let her weigh herself every couple of weeks to see physical evidence of the difference a healthy lifestyle makes.

You can do this- you are doing this, and she'll be able to do it to.

I'm not sure where to post this, so if it's in the wrong forum please feel free to move it.

Anyway...I've known my daughter was overweight for quite some time now. She's 15 and she's around 180/190. Her height is about 5 foot 5 I want to say. Anyway, she is in dance (hip hop) for the first time and I noticed she was wearing her hoodie. The room she dances in is a gazillion degrees so I asked her why she didn't take it off. She said "I don't like my body" and I asked her "what do you not like about your body?" and she said "I'm fat"

I've known she has been overweight for over a year now but she if far from fat. And I guess the reason why I haven't dealt with this before is because my sister was anorexic/bulimic when she was a teen and part of me decided to "ignore" (for lack of a better word) what was happening with my daughter because I didn't want to have to go through all that again. It was tough enough going through it with my sister, and I know it would be a million times worse with my own daughter.

I make fairly healthy suppers but with mine and hubby's work schedule being really wonky, there are a lot of fend for yourself nights and I see the choices she makes and they aren't UNhealthy per say, but her portions are bad.

I'm not sure if I need advice or if I just needed to vent......

Far from fat? therein lies the problem. 5ft 5 and 180-190 IS FAT. And guess what? It is okay to be fat, but its better to be healthy. She needs your help, but the first step is for you to acknowledge that there is a problem with her weight. 15 is a difficult age for females (males too) so she needs your help. Have a talk with her and be very supportive.

Hmmm. I remember this happening to me growing up.

My mom kept me on diets my whole life and told me how pretty I would be if I lost some weigh. That was very hard.

There are so many ways to handle this, because she is so young and still totally rocked by peer pressure, I would constantly affirm how wonderful she is as a person, both inside and out, but that losing weight is a health issue.

Work with her and let her start to do some research about how much weight she would like to lose and what different programs are out there. I've been over weight my whole life, but a book called The Metabolism Miracle has really helped me.

Then let her make a list and bring it to the grocery store to shop for foods. Make sure she is picking out good foods to eat, and good foods to snack on. Let her be more invested in her diet with your watchful eye and then she might have more investment in its success.