Things People Say When You've Lost Weight
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I take any comments to my weight loss as compliments. Doesn't matter if the comment contains positive or negative energy, as long as they notice I lost weight it'd motivate me more. I was down from 195 to 140 and not many people said anything in my first 40 pounds and I was really discouraged how not many people noticed and was doubting myself. So I'd take any comments over no comments, at least I know my weight loss is visible. :P
We're all working hard towards our goal weight and shouldn't let anyone or any comment put us down. So IGNORE THEM! We deserve better than that and we're the only ones that can give ourselves what we deserve.0 -
During my journey of losing 60 lb in 6 months just by changing my eating habits my customers would come in after a few weeks see me and say "Are you sick"? I just chuckle and tell them what I did just by changing the way I ate. It seemed to motivate a few and they asked for more specifics on what I ate. I never mind the questions or interest as it gave me a boost to realize just what I had done. I looked better and I was healthier and it was noticeable to others. THAT felt good.0
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I agree with Glenelliot. Take these as compliments. I get some comments too, but they are not killing me. There are worse things to get annoyed over. Get over it.
This is so right on!0 -
Considering the fact that NO ONE has noticed I've lost any weight, then no. I don't know what it's like to be commented on with weight loss. :explode: :grumble:
I kinda wish someone would comment, even if it seemed somewhat condescending, because then it would mean that my hard work is yielding results.0 -
you know... I love reading this thread. It's a good place to come and just remind myself that honestly.. I think most people are well intentioned. As I've been a member here right now, I'm down 18 lbs. But I've lost almost 40 since my highest weight a few years ago. I have so much to lose that it's hard to notice on me, since it's been a gradual loss, but people are starting to notice something is different about me.. I'm losing some inches now too and I'm getting sort of puzzled looks like.. did you do something with your hair? Or.. hey, are you losing weight? You look different.
I've stopped trying to hide under black clothes too., bought a few colorful jackets and work items and people are noticing something is different.. I'm just trying to chug along.
But I love this. Thanks for sharing, everyone.
m0 -
Usually I get the typical "You don't need to lose anymore weight.", "You're going to disappear", etc, but, I got a new one the other day which was just aggrivating.. I had turned down breakfast pizza at work because I'd already eaten my normal breakfast at home. I later ran into the woman who'd offered the pizza in the breakroom (and by offered, she said "There's breakfast pizza in the break room, but I'm guessing you won't be having any."). I was getting my yogurt and she stopped me and said, "It's nice to see that you do eat."
Ugh...0 -
when people tell me i am wasting away or don't need to loose anymore weight, i just smile and say i have never had more energy and i feel great which i do!0
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I have lost 66lbs in a very healthy way, i have got a lot of attention and most of the time i am not comfortable with it, a dad at my kids school telling me i look sexy! ( was shocked and accepted his slightly drunken embrace as i was so surprised and taken aback by his comment! )a friend asking me with a very serious and concerned face - am i ok or have I been sick? and not being really interested when she heard i had taken up running - i think she wanted the drama of a major sickness! my husband telling me i have no *kitten* now to look at and i might need a boob job as my breasts have lost so much ( to which my reply was have you looked in the mirror recently darling! he has man boobs and a huge beer gut and accepts them why should he not accept me and my new found fitness?a good looking man i have know for years has started to pay me attention ( very unwanted) i get looked at so much more by men now ( am 46 yrs old) and one of the first comments i got which still astounds me was from a very very skinny mum who has told me a few times - be careful you don't want to loose anymore weight, she is a size 6, i was a size 14 when she was telling me this - i mean does she look in the mirror at herself - or maybe she has a warped body image thing going on?!!
i feel very proud of myself as i have put in such hard work to get this far ( have gone from 104kg to 73kg in under a year)
comments are such a minefield - the whole you look amazing makes me feel even more crap about how all my life i struggled with weight and obviously did not look hot in societies eyes.
i know people are trying to make me feel good and that is great . the best thing is that at least 3 other mums have come up to me at school and said that they have lost weight through healthy eating and exercising specifically because i have been their inspiration - as one mum put it i have seen heaps of my friends do it but when i saw you do it i thought to myself if someone like her can do it - i can!! oh those thoughtless well meaning comments!!!
the best thing is that i feel fantastic, i am so healthy, i have heaps of energy, i can now run and play with my kids and i feel and look great - well done me!!!!!!
loved all the posts it showed i am not alone in being commented AT - re significant weight loss!0 -
i had a doctor's appointment today, prepping for upcoming surgery. I did tell them what I've lost and the physician assistant looked at me like I had 2 heads when I said there's still lots more to go. She thought I look fine, which is a compliment in a way I suppose. LOL
Because I chose to not share my journey with most of the people I work with, comments have been kept to a minimum. It's to the point I can't really hide the loss under a big sweater though, so I'm expecting to gradually get the questions.
We have another person in our office who underwent weight loss surgery at the same time that I started making lifestyle changes. She has no boundaries and over-shares everything. She's had all kinds of problems and believe me, everyone knows everything about the littlest detail. Funny part, I've lost more than she has so far. LOL I've not mentioned that little tidbit either.0 -
It's not just fitness. It's anything new and improved about you; people are going to be skeptical that you came by it through hard work and dedication. Perhaps it's because we're saturated with quick-fix ads to the point where we think that that's the only way to get things done anymore. Or maybe we're just so jealous of people who succeed where we have failed, that we can't just make ourselves believe it's true, and be happy for them. It's an envy society, either way, and we have to live in it while changing it.
Wealth is the same thing. People never want to believe that you made a little money through hard work, either. You got lucky, or screwed someone over. If you're even a modestly financially successful person, people always want to know your "secret". There was no secret. I woke up before the sun for ten years, and put in the hours. I sacrificed, planned, and executed. I stepped over barriers instead of letting them turn me back. I didn't get lucky. I worked.
When I showed my old neighbor pictures of the new house we were buying, his response was: "You're a *kitten* with too much money."
Basically fitness is like wealth - Of course everyone wants it...but until they get it, they are going to hate everyone else who has it.
When it comes to fitness, it's different for us men, generally, though. Someone can call me fat, and it's okay because it's not an implied summary of my worth based on the remnants of a centuries-old socioeconomic system that treated me as cattle. I can only imagine what women go through on a daily basis. I've been guilty of it in the past, as though freely offering my unsolicited opinion on your appearance is not the least bit offensive on multiple levels. What's worse, it's not just men; women do it to each other! It really does objectify a person. And that's no good for anyone. It's bad for you for obvious reasons. It's bad for me because, seriously, who wants to be that guy?
You took control of your health because you wanted a healthier you. It's got nothing to do with me. You sure as hell didn't do it so that I'd offer my appraisal.
If it's an acquaintance, here's the extent of my comment: "Hey, congratulations on taking control of your health! Keep up the good work." No opinion offered on the appearance vis a vis my preference about how your body should look. Just a simple positive acknowledgement of your progress.
If it's a closer friend: "Wow, whatever you're doing is working!" No annoying questions. No disingenuous expressions of concern. No imposition of my own values. Just a slightly more intimate acknowledgement and encouragement.
If it's my wife: "Get over here. Now." But that's a different story.
TL;DR Haters gonna hate, and stop treating women like objects. Unless they say it's okay.0 -
Just as a flip side to the "people are jealous and jerks" interpretation: I think that while maybe there are some mean-spirited and threatened people out there, that most folks are trying to find something that both:
a) acknowledges your weight loss as a big deal (everyone knows it's hard) and
b) somehow also says that they didn't think you were ever fat (even if that's not true) or that they have always thought you were lovely and fine at whatever weight you've been (which is usually true)
It's a hard combo to work into in one comment to an acquaintance.
I must admit the "are you sick?" thing as a office-hallway comment is awful though... that's something that should only be said in the right relationship and at the right time so that if the answer is "Yes" you can follow through appropriately and meaningfully.0 -
I've gotten some very nice comments, and some not so very nice comments in my opinion.
When my face started to become slim, a co-worker of mine said, "before you were cute, now you're pretty" I responded to her saying, "I'm beautiful!" She also asks me all the time if I lost anymore weight. And she does this all the time and sometimes in front of coworkers. My weight loss journey isn't a race and I would appreciate not being asked in front of a group of coworkers if I managed to lose anymore since the last time we spoke.
I have also gotten compared to a coworker by another coworker that I have the better face, but so and so has the better body. Now that I am losing more weight, she constantly compliments me. However, they make me feel good up until I remember she blatantly told me my friend has a better body than me.
I take the good with the bad. It's going to happen. People are not going to realize that what they say can be damaging to others. I've cried from rude comments before, but I throw it all away and focus on myself and what I am trying to do for me. I am just happy that I am on the right path to losing weight. We all have to have tough skin because people just don't think.0 -
When I first lost my weight, I was still about 14lbs from goal, I lost a total of 118lbs, some super skinny gym bunny Mum said to me 'you'll be like all of us soon' I just replied 'not if I can help it, I'm not that rude and insensitive' and walked off...
Still maintaining, running half marathons and working on fitness but still not being rude!!!!!!0 -
(one which really got me was "you'd better not throw away your big clothes because you might need them again"
I laughed out loud when I read this comment. Cracked me up. I can't BELIEVE someone would be so rude to say something like that to someone who is losing weight!0 -
Gotta love the ones that say "You're getting too skinny" Ummm, no I'm 5'2 and 155 now, who's definition of skinny is that?0
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Whhhhhaaat Thhheeeeeee Hellllllllll..... Ugghhh, some people!0
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I've worked so hard to get where I am, I will take the "you're wasting aways" and the "you don't need to lose anymores" very happily, thank you very much !0
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At least for me, I know they don't mean it intentionally, but could they at least be happy that I'm striving to reach my goal. Yeah I lost weight. Anything else you want to point out?? I hate it when people say "Oh you need to go eat a steak" or "YOu are beautiful just the way you are, but you really are too skinny." It's really obnoxious when people think they know all the answers. Well here is a answer for you: "It's not your life!"
If losing weight makes you feel better about yourself, then that is all that really matters.0 -
It's annoying. Recently I was talking about dinner or something and a friend said "well you hardly eat any more!'. 1) This friend is literally living on the other side of the world from me right now and 2) She was looking at me on Skype eating a massive plate of fruit, berries, nuts and cheese. She just seems to figure because I've been successful at losing weight through my diet I'm OBVIOUSLY starving myself... a lot of people seem to think this actually!
There is no fear of me starving myself. :P
It took one person in my life (someone who has been on and off Weight Watchers for decades) months to get her head around what I was doing. I would eat a dessert and she'd be like ''ahhh no loss for you this week!'' etc. She gets it now (or just keeps quiet about it because she's sick of me explaining portion control and moderation...).0 -
I know exactly what you mean, I have a friend who used to be 200 lbs, she's only 5'2". She finally lost weight and is 109 lbs. Everyone told her she's too skinny and it's unhealthy. But where were those people when she was 200 lbs?! No one even thought to tell her, hey 200 lbs at 5'2" is unhealthy...No one said anything. It's only when people start to lose weight that others are so quick to jump on. Just interesting to me. Keep up the good work, don't listen to people trying to hold you back from completing your goals or make you try and second guess your goals. I'm sure you look great half way to your goal, but keep going you can do it!!!!!0
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I got the "Did you have a gastric bypass?" and daily I hear how skinny my legs are.....my daughters friend commented that my boobs are much smaller. This morning my husband said that I am not the woman he married anymore (physically) that stung....I know he didn't mean it bad but it just really DID sound bad. My best reaction was from my brother who I see only 2 times a year. When he saw me he said that I was on some real life biggest loser s*it lol, his reaction was so shocked and real.0
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My "favorite" right now is "You've lost weight! You look great! I wish I could lose weight as easily as you." :huh:
I count calories and spend 10 hrs a week at the gym, plus walk at least a mile around the neighborhood daily. I think anyone can lose as "easily" as I am. But, they don't see that. I'm up and out of the house while most of them are still sleeping. They see me eating a cupcake at the baby shower, and fitting in smaller jeans and assume the weight just fell off.0 -
Stupidest comment I've had so far was my wife saying, "Honey, you're looking really good!" I mean, what on earth is she thinking?!?0
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Stupidest comment I've had so far was my wife saying, "Honey, you're looking really good!" I mean, what on earth is she thinking?!?
HaHaHaHaHa. She must be from my husband's side of the family. He says, "In order to be sure, you'll need to take off your clothes so I can accurately judge the change(s)."0 -
I got the "Did you have a gastric bypass?" and daily I hear how skinny my legs are.....my daughters friend commented that my boobs are much smaller. This morning my husband said that I am not the woman he married anymore (physically) that stung....I know he didn't mean it bad but it just really DID sound bad. My best reaction was from my brother who I see only 2 times a year. When he saw me he said that I was on some real life biggest loser s*it lol, his reaction was so shocked and real.
I've moved from have you lost weight, to your wasting away, to when are you going to stop, to recently having people at work speculating how or when I got gastric bypass surgery (I didn't) last summer to have lost all the weight. It's sort of stages of denial by others. I'm now at the you don't need to lose any more weight, ah I'm still a 28.5 BMI, and I feel like I could easily lose another 25 pounds and be fine, but everyone else at work is worried I've lost too much already.
Glad I can think independent of above input.0 -
I totally get how irritating comments beyond "wow, you look great!" can be...
However...
These comments always come from an envious or sad place. Someone sees your accomplishment and it makes them feel like they are inadequate for not having done it themselves. In some people, this results in a snarky comment about "wasting away" or diet pills, others will keep quiet, and a few will be inspired to lose weight or become healthier themselves. Remember, just because someone is thin doesn't mean they will automatically rejoice in your transformation...maybe they thought being thinner was the only thing they were better than you at...and now, that's gone.
Keeping this in mind when people make intrusive or rude comments can help keep your sanity0 -
"Wow, I bet you miss eating (pizza) (hamburgers) or (whatever else they seem to think is the only thing that contributes to weight gain). I just cannot deprive myself like you. You only live once your know."
Yes.. I'm well aware of that...
I'd like to live longer.. and have a better quality of life.
They never like my answer that I still have things that I love.. including pizza and burgers.. but in moderation.
They REALLY hate my rant about being active and working out.
lol0 -
When someone offers me food, and I say no thanks. They ask "Why, is it because of your diet?" Umm, no. It's because I do not desire to have it.0
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The biggest one I get is "Are you trying to loose Weight?" Really? :huh:0
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It really bugs me when I am at work or with friends and I get comments like "You're wasting away!" and "You don't need to lose anymore weight, you look good". I know they are trying to be supportive, but it really irritates me. I am only half way to my goal, I am still considered obese, and telling me to stop is the opposite of being helpful.
*rantover*
Anyone else get stupid comments from people trying to "help"?
I have gotten the EXACT same "You are wasting away!" comments... it doesn't bother me - I am just like shoooooot wait until I am done. lmfao!! Congrats on your weight loss being noticeable!! I love it!!0
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