I'm dying, 18,000 cal binge, final tommorow? :(

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azyzzam
azyzzam Posts: 36
in Motivation and Support
I clearly have problems, and therapy is not working but what can I do? I have an exam tommorow and on Thursday that I didn't study for bc I was stuffing my face today. Tommorow I might be able to pass with some review in a couple hours and some coffee bc I did the practice problems.

This is by far the worst binge I have ever ever ever had. It's clicked. I'm bingeing because I'm fat and want to get away from studying. I'm not going to do this ever again. But I feel hopeless right now about everything. The weight gain, the possible failed exams, looking like I'm pregnant tommorow...

Please help, anyone else been in this situation? My friends/family would be horrified if they found out I ate this much in one day, not supportive.

And it really was 20,000 cals. I ate an extra 2 bowls of granola last night and thought I had messed up anyway so I are everything I could get my hands on today.

-another 600 cals of granola with full fat milk
-20z buffalo fried chicken
-jar of chocolate spread
-peanut butter shake
-lobster roll
-2 packets ramen noodles w/ chicken
-turkey and veggies
-egg
-3 slices coffee cake
-6 cups yogurt with honey
-4 date and nut bars
-2 mugs hot chocolate
-4 slices of pizza
-1/2 liter coconut water
And I kept snacking back and forth

I obv not going to binge today and tommorow but I'm tempted to fast tommorow? Or should I eat normal even though I'm gaining like 6 pounds and more water weight??? But I always feel like bingeing again the next day.

Thank you
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Replies

  • chefwrx
    chefwrx Posts: 59 Member
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    That's impressive. I have a hard time eating more than 3K and I weigh 180.
  • RadScorp
    RadScorp Posts: 41 Member
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    This is sad. Please be kind to yourself.

    *Don't* starve yourself tomorrow. Don't torture yourself over one day of bad eating, just drink plenty of water and take some time for you. Treat yourself to a nice hot bath, or go out and buy something new for yourself. It sounds like you've been under a lot of pressure lately, it sounds like you need a break. The worst thing you could do is make tomorrow another fixation over food, it's a vicious cycle. I know it too well.

    Be safe, and don't beat yourself up over it. You deserve better.
  • triciaaa17
    triciaaa17 Posts: 1
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    hi:) i am a stress eater,binger,purger,anorexic (recovered)/starver myself too and i can tell you that yes recovering from that is not easy at all because i recently stopped binging for two month but one day i started binging and i binged very two day or everyday for two or three months now. this week i decided that i had enough of hating myself and i accepted that this is not a diet. this is about me feeling good about my body and being comfortable looking in the mirror in a bikini or shorts or whatever. only by not binging and eating as clean as i can like choosing porridge instead of fried dumpling, my stomach decreased. i know from my profile picture i might not look very fat or thin but you can only see it if i wear nothing or little clothing. its not as big as others i admit but it is for me. just telling you that if you need help lots of people helped me go through this. i dunno if you heard about blogilates, but u can search it in the app store and on youtube or blogilates.com. its a fitness community. there are anorexic bullimic recoverers and bingers and everything they know exactly how you might feel and how i felt and they helped me get through it. if i can you can because i have the will power of a homeless person i will eat anything
  • Fuzz610
    Fuzz610 Posts: 16 Member
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    Nothing you can do about the binge now. Forget about it, and start fresh tomorrow.
    Everybody screws up once in a while.
  • MysteriousLdy
    MysteriousLdy Posts: 306 Member
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    @_@ Dont get anxious, calm down. Tomorrow is a new day..You can start fresh
  • MissBabyJane
    MissBabyJane Posts: 538 Member
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    Start fresh, tomorrow. Workout a little bit harder, maybe cut 100/200 calories from your daily intake the next few days. At least that's what I would do. :) Good luck
  • michellemybelll
    michellemybelll Posts: 2,228 Member
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    after eating 20,000 calories in one day, you're most likely not going to be hungry at all the next day. don't force yourself to eat if you're not hungry. honestly i don't think it would be bad if you fasted the next day. 20000 calories is a lot of ****en food; your body will be more than properly fueled for the next 24 hours.
  • mimieon
    mimieon Posts: 182 Member
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    Can it be that you are scared of failure and you use food to avoid studying (if you don't study then you haven't really tried, so you haven't really failed?)? I notice this behavior in myself sometimes.
  • nenshali
    nenshali Posts: 331 Member
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    I cannot recommend you to fast!
    I'm in recovery for bulimia now, so I know abou those kind of binges as well. Don't fast, otherwise there is a high risk that you are getting into a vicious cycle where you'll binge again, starve again etc. ..
    Listen to your body. Treat yourself in a nice manner.
    I know you are angry about what happened, but it happened anyway and you cannot change it anymore. And there is no reason to punish yourself in any way for this.

    Try to move on and to continue. Try not to compensate it too hard.
    If you actually don't feel hungry at all, it's okay to eat something light only. But if you feel hungry (and I can confirm, that after >10000 kcal you still can feel very hungry the next day), treat yourself right. Don't fast, don't hunger.

    Eat normally. Try not to focus on food too much. I know it's a welcome excuse not to focus on studying which is the real trigger for your stress. But if you tomorrow again can't focus on studying, instead of food, try to do some yoga or go out for a walk. Or even paint something. I know it seems contraproductive after you have so much to do, but you won't learn too much if you stare at your books for an hour and start your binges after that.

    It's better to actively encourage yourself to do something nice (and food unrelated!) and maybe you can find the strength to start studying afterwards again.

    Don't worry, you will overcome that <3
  • GertrudeHorse
    GertrudeHorse Posts: 646 Member
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    The best way to avoid a binge/restriction cycle is to start eating normal intake the day after a binge. Do not try and restrict or compensate. I know it's easier said than done, but try not to punish yourself for the binge. Focus on nourishing your body and healing your mind. Try and be your own best friend <3
  • RyanJK85
    RyanJK85 Posts: 580 Member
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    thats crazy...but dont make it a habit...start new the next day...next time this is happening talk to your friends on here before going crazy...and do not fast....drink water, flush out your system, kick *kitten* tomorrow
  • eldamiano
    eldamiano Posts: 2,667 Member
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    Just eat normally.
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
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    Just eat normally.

    Do this (do not fast) and then read this if traditional therapy isn't working:

    http://www.brainoverbinge.com/
  • Play_outside
    Play_outside Posts: 528 Member
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    Eat normally, otherwise you might find it even harder to concentrate on your exams and such. Also, try to get some (extra) exercise! This is a great way to combat stress. Does your college offer counseling? Most offer free counseling to students (Canadian universities and colleges anyway, I don't know about the US but usually there are things available to students). You can likely request an emergency session. They can often help you work though issues and teach you some tools for stress management. Try and break things into manageable pieces and just go day to day. Don't try and tackle everything at once, and don't beat yourself up over binging-every day is an opportunity to be healthier. Instead of starting the binge cycle, try and do something productive-go for a walk, clean your room, call a friend. Break studying down into pieces-study for a bit and then go for a walk, watch a bit of tv or have some computer time-but set an alarm if you're doing tv or computer so you don't get sucked in and waste all of your study time! Good luck on your exams!
  • SlenderSelah
    SlenderSelah Posts: 17
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    You are not alone, I've done this, usually when I am trying to avoid real life issues. Just listing all the food and working out the calories (logging it) is a positive step. My advice:

    - Don't fast, eat healthy and treat yourself instead, realize that you're going through a stressful time, get a manicure, condition your hair, someone said go shopping...I agree. Treat yourself to something that has nothing to do with food.

    -Drink lots of water/ green tea/ cranberry juice. You're body is stuffed full of junk, you need to flush it all out.

    -Study for the exam (just do it!!) you will feel a lot more confident going in there.

    -Exercise, it will help with the stress and help burn a few of those calories off.

    -Start again "this is the first day of the rest of your life", press that mental "re-set" button

    Hope this helps ((((big hug))) and good luck.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    Just to echo the advice about not fasting or restricting your calories tomorrow... just eat normally and don't get hungry. Undereating is in itself a trigger for binge eating. That's a major reason why it's a good idea for fat loss to have a small deficit and aim to lose the fat slowly, as it avoids being in a cycle of excessive restriction and binge eating. And if there are other factors that are triggering binge eating, e.g. stress, undereating just makes the whole thing much, much worse. So please just eat normally, and don't beat yourself up about it.
  • paperfiish
    paperfiish Posts: 52 Member
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    Be kind to yourself. Binge eating is a flawed coping mechanism, as is restricting/"punishing". You were stressed out about exams, and you turned to coping in an unhealthy manner, but that's ok: every moment is a new chance to try out healthy coping skills. If you fail this moment (whether it's eating a bowl of granola or eating 20K calories in a day) that doesn't mean you'll fail the next moment.

    Just keep being kind to yourself, apply that kindness to yourself under stress, and give your body what it needs tomorrow regardless of today's binge, and try to be kind to yourself regardless of how you feel about or do on the exams. Certainly punishing yourself for binging won't help you study, so why waste the energy on it? If you need to destress before you take them, you might find something like the Meditation Oasis podcast to be a useful tool to use before the test (they have a like 5 minute destresser meditation that's really good for helping you focus). Also, for the future, you might also find some useful advice in Kati Morton's videos on youtube, she focuses on anxiety disorders with a strong emphasis on disordered eating and has a few videos on binge eating in her playlists.

    Good luck with your exam!
  • LKArgh
    LKArgh Posts: 5,179 Member
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    I posted on another thread you made I think too. You need psychiatric help, there is no point in feeling guilty or looking for a way to fix things here. You are at an age where it is the most common time for behavioural and psychological issues to first appear or get serious and you need professional help. Get an appointment with a psychiatrist. There is help out there, if you look for it and you do not need to torture yourself. You cannot deal with this on your own, and it is ok. There is no shame in being ill, please talk to a dr.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
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    I'm not going to do this ever again.
    Then don't sweat it.
  • mamadon
    mamadon Posts: 1,422 Member
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    I can really relate. When I go on a binge, I am truly amazed at the amount of food I can eat in a day. Binge eating can be an illness or an addiction and I agree with others, you could benefit with some help for it. It does no good to say you will never do it again. If your like me, chances are that you will. Just take it a day at a time. Tell yourself that today you will not binge eat. Also, at your weight, you are not fat.

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