How to stay motivated while being depressed/after a relapse?

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  • nenshali
    nenshali Posts: 331 Member
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    I'm sorry for your struggles, but it will get better! Don't be too harsh on yourself. You will do it eventually!
    Your health and your well being are the most important thing.
    Success! ♥
  • BreeJaxon
    BreeJaxon Posts: 128
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    Well said sweets, there aren't enough posts out here like this and SO many people on this site going through just this!
  • michybeans
    michybeans Posts: 106
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    Thanks for the positive post and great tips. i also struggle with this (mood, energy, sleep, motivation) and reading these tips is helpful. :) Cheers!
  • nenshali
    nenshali Posts: 331 Member
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    :flowerforyou: :smooched:
  • JarryIvette
    JarryIvette Posts: 43 Member
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    Thank YOU so much for this! So what I needed to hear! It all makes sense. :flowerforyou:
  • nenshali
    nenshali Posts: 331 Member
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    ♥ :flowerforyou:
  • getdancing2013
    getdancing2013 Posts: 72 Member
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    This is such wonderful timing for me, as I'm battling depression too, and also having dealt with body issues for what feels like my whole life. I used to be very thin, but even at my thinnest I was told to lose weight constantly (or in a few cases that I needed to gain weight). Then I gained weight, then lost - never really got any support/positive feedback from anyone in my life - parents, significant other, etc. So now my partner has lost a great amount of weight within a short time and I've been feeling very down/unmotivated/feeling like a failure. Like my current 6 lbs in two weeks sucks, when in reality it's a good start.

    Thank you for posting this. I really needed it. :flowerforyou:
  • nenshali
    nenshali Posts: 331 Member
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    Aw, I'm so proud of you!
    I'm so sorry that you don't have a good support system around you. I don't have one either, that's why I started building one up around me in the internet, after my RL- friends simply don't get what the problem is ( "but you are just fine the way you are") and my family is simply manipulating and hurtful to me (unfortunately).

    And after we need to focus on ourselves and be able to trust each others, it's sometimes nice to hear from someone else that you're doing good, that you are fine the way you are doing; and in a way that it doesn't sound like something the other just has to say.

    I wish you so much luck and energy and happiness in your future :flowerforyou:
  • Saridan77
    Saridan77 Posts: 11 Member
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    Wow, thank you, thank you thank you! I am a supposed "normal" person with no diagnosis. But I find this information wonderful also. I really liked the food cravings link. I am just trying to bounce back from a binge and that website really helped me understand why. This is amazing. I think I am much more of an emotional eater than I realized. And I always struggle with the activity part as well and trying to find this motivation. Thank you again and best of wishes to all of us on our journeys. I love the positivity. :)
  • nenshali
    nenshali Posts: 331 Member
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    Oh I think those things absolutely do not only apply to people with illness problems, you are right!

    Whether you have a setback or the scale doesn't move which is discouraging.. Or if you simply try to change all at once and this fails every time (because it's too much), it's sometimes necessary to hear that it's actually okay to step back and take a deep breath and simply start over again.


    And I wish you so much luck! I think a lot of people are actually emotional eaters, even if they do not fulfill the criteria of an eating disorder. But simply turning to food because you're used to it, it's comforting (and that chocolate makes you happy isn't just a saying; the serotonine in this food actually stimulates your brain!) and therefore it's an understandable choice.
    Not the healthiest one, though. And often, just an unconscious one.


    I also wish you soo much luck and success with your journey! I'm sure you can do it :):flowerforyou:
  • angel5561
    angel5561 Posts: 142 Member
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    Im struggling with depression right now but I also have ptsd and anxiety I can totally relate to the post about wanting to be perfect and focusing on that perfect point in the future im working every day not to do that but just focus on what I can do today and being more forgiving of my mistakes. Its hard to force myself to move let alone exercise some days but exercise really does help the depression if you can make yourself do it in the past I have just told myself im only going to do five minutes and then once im up five minutes turns into ten minutes ten minutes turns into fifteen and before I know it Ive done a whole workout. Walking outdoors has also really helped me in the past. Thanks for the post im also looking for more mfp so feel free to add me :)
  • angel_of_harmony
    angel_of_harmony Posts: 188 Member
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    Great tips! Crumbs for my friends and bookmarking for later.
  • Rachelmilloy
    Rachelmilloy Posts: 158 Member
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    So sweetly helpful, thank you!
  • Flabulousss
    Flabulousss Posts: 106
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    Thanks for making this thread, it's very encouraging. I too am dysthymic, as is my mother... I've pretty much accepted I may be prone to depression my whole life, since I have been for so long and my mother has always struggled with depression. I've also had major depressive episodes that were very hard. Through all this I've learned the importance of just taking care of yourself gently, managing stress, watching your thoughts (so many depressive & suicidal thoughts are automatic when you have a chemical imbalance. I used to think about suicide 24/7 even though I had no real intention of doing anything. It's scary to realize you're not entirely in control of your mind, so I try to not let myself get to that point,) taking care of your body, sleeping well, exploring new things in life, acknowledging and trying to overcome "tunnel vision" (fixating on something terrible & blowing it up until you don't want to live), and generally approaching it from a holistic point of view. Now, despite all sorts of obstacles, I am happier than I've ever been. Accepting my depression was the first step. Fighting it, or believing I could just "figure it out" dug me into a deeper hole. Now I can just take a deep breath, stop the cycle of negative thoughts, realize that it will pass, and just take care of myself. Diet & exercise are my #1 treatment method, because I believe my depression is a physical problem. Of course, my depression is pretty mild to moderate right now. I fully believe in medication for those who need it. But right now I just take supplements like 5-htp and rhodiola rosea. Sleep patterns have shown to have a huge link to mood, so I take 5-htp before bed and try to keep a regular schedule. I think being prone to depression just means you have to learn to balance your wellness and sometimes "just do it". Stop thinking and physically get up and do what you can. Stop thinking about how hard it is. (It may be, but at the very least just stop thinking!) Things will look up. The more you manage the better you will feel. Just take care of yourself. Just my thoughts.

    Wow, that was a lot longer than expected. lol Not trying to sound preachy cause I know how hard it can be. It really is a different mindset to be very depressed, and even I sometimes forget how my darkest times were. My whole life is a yo-yo, not just my diet. Right now I'm trying to learn to be consistent with fitness, so I really appreciate this thread! Exercise actually helps me overcome feelings of paralysis, so I think I'm onto something there. Overall I just think of managing my depression like a snowball. There's no one magic bullet, but there's a wide range if things that if I engage in, it will snowball & eventually I'll see the light.
  • nenshali
    nenshali Posts: 331 Member
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    Thanks for your post, dear!

    I can absolutely relate to what you typed. Even though I am absolutely against suicide (with very few exceptions.. I am for active euthanasia, f.e. if I had an inoperateable brain tumor or something; but suicide itself is not an option for me). Still, I am latently suicidal since I'm 13 (8 years now.. wow) and just last session my therapist noticed (in a very kind way) that she is kind of impressed that I am still alive (referring to some old poetry I gave her I wrote when I was 13-15 and because I just actually got help a few months ago, which was very late and lots of damage could have been prevented if I seeked help earlier)

    Anyway; as you said, it is a chemical imbalance. And yes, a simple "hey, think positive" won't work for us and propably leave us with a feeling, that nobody understands us or that we sound/are just whining around.

    But even though we have no control about whether, when and how hard such a time can hit us, we can affect of how we REACT to it. Wellness is a very important point you left here!

    It's really important. Take care of yourself.

    I cannot believe how hard I ignored this point over years. A few weeks ago, when I was "in a hole", a friend adviced me to make a cup of hot milk with honey (what I used to love as a child) and what I hadn't had in many years.
    So I did as she said and I covered myself up in a few warm blankets and with a book and with this cup and after a few minutes I started laughing because it was kind of absurd for me to react this way, I was way too used to punish myself because I didn't meet my expectations before (for, school, work, whatever).
    And then I slowly started crying because I realized it was actually the first time in many years where I took care of myself instead of hurting myself.

    It IS very hard, I absolutely won't deny this, but the point is, it is NECESSARY.
    It really is.

    And after all, Food and Fitness play a huge role to. Of course depending to how important this topic is for us after all (but we are on mfp so I guess whoever reads this, does not consider this as unimportant). And I think it's really a common problem that we try to force ourselves to change ALL at once and for being angry with us because we DON'T have the energy to make a super great workout which lasts 2 hours every day.

    And sometimes, it's just a kind reminder necessary that it's fine as long as we simply take care of ourselves.

    Thanks for your contribution :flowerforyou:
  • surreychic
    surreychic Posts: 117 Member
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    This is really useful! thank you for posting.
  • surreychic
    surreychic Posts: 117 Member
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    Another point to add is I can't tell if it's a rebound effect or an effect on brain chemicals, but after eating the carbs, it can make me feel great for a few hours, then I get a massive slump... I don't know if it's the effect on blood glucose, or a different effect of the food, but I definitely feel 10 times worse afterwards...
  • nenshali
    nenshali Posts: 331 Member
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    I can explain this, because this is actually scientifically proven!

    This is about the serotonin in the food, especially found in high- carb foods. For example chocolate, which ACTUALLY makes you happier. But- as you said- just for a short time.
    Serotonin is "the happiness hormone" and eating such a food pushes this feeling for a short time. BUT if your brain produces too little serotonine/cannot process the serotonine correctly, this will lead you into a vicious cycle.

    You push the serotonine up for a short time, but in the long- term this contributes to the problem of a low serotonin levels, which keeps you unhappy.

    This is by the way a reason why activity is recommended so much. It doesn't need to be a workout, but being active also stimulates the serotonin levels to rise, but in a healthier way. Already... I think 30 minutes of light activity a day can help!

    In General, a change in your behaviour leads to re-connection of serotonin receptors in your brain. This is why behavioral therapy works- because your brain does actually CHANGE! It works like an AD.

    In some caes, the combination of ADs and behavoral therapy is recommended because the combination of those two is the most effective one.
    If you have a light depression or dysthymia, it propably isn't necessary, but this varies within the different cases.

    While the ADs also lead to a better feeling etc., the problem is if you have disfunctional behaviouristics (for example: eating food when feeling sad/let down, instead of addressing the problem), there is a high risk of the depression returning someday, because the causes itself do not change.

    And even though it's a chemical imbalance, with "bad" behaviour we can trigger this (if the stress builds up and we eat our emotions etc.), while we can fight against through taking care of ourselves.

    Thanks a lot for mentioning this as well! :flowerforyou:
  • getdancing2013
    getdancing2013 Posts: 72 Member
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    As a side...here's something that helped me last night, because I was really down yesterday and the day before.

    The day before couldn't be helped - no car available = no gym. Yesterday I was getting ready to pile on the excuses - kids acting up, fighting a fever (maybe...or early menopause *ick*), etc. I was too tired and feeling too down.

    But I found myself grabbing my clothes, my shoes, getting changed, putting my hair up, etc - all the while telling myself that it was too inconvenient, I was too down, too tired, it wasn't going to work - yeah, full on negative trip. Before I knew it, I was in the car, headed to the gym.

    Did a good-sized workout, and let me tell you, after the warm-up walk and about 10 minutes into the elliptical, I was sweating, shaking, and saying I should go home. But I stuck to it, and stayed a total of 35 on the elliptical after going full speed for part of it, and the endorphins must have kicked in because I felt FANTASTIC!!! I wasn't tired, I wasn't down, I felt like I'd accomplished SOMETHING. I even went to lift weights afterwards to stay on my schedule.

    So sometimes, even though the dieting and the lack of progress may be part of what's getting us down, actually doing the exercising might be what we need :flowerforyou:
  • nenshali
    nenshali Posts: 331 Member
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    Wow, that's amazing! I'm so proud of you :flowerforyou:
    Very well done!!

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