The Big Bad Gym Bully!

It is always the part timers that treat the Iron Dojo with disrespect. Don't worry friend she will be gone soon enough and back again next year to iron out that new years resolution. Keep up the good work.

I do free weights at home, not machines. Am I reading this right that she was bench pressing 25 pounds? I a little lady, but that doesn't sound like much. Sorry, I know we aren't supposed to say that. And maybe it is different on the machine. It just sounds like doing curls with the 3 lb Barbie weights, and the low weight makes your story even worse!
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You are correct, you are no supposed to “weight shame” anybody and it is different in the machines, whatever machine that lady was using.

This thread is about gym courtesy and about failing to remove the weights when a person is done, not about how much somebody lifts.

Move on please....

Good for you!! I am sure she won't forget to RACK EM again!!

Maybe I should try this technique, I've tried the evil eyes and the shake of a head but never actually got the courage to 'have a word' to any one person, although today I cracked, I had to take two 25kg plates of the squat bar so I could actually lift it up and load up with my weights. Two days ago I had to take off weights to enable me to lift the bar to the floor to load up for deadlifts and also had to take off some *kitten* weights from the bench press so on my way out I had a word with the girl on the desk.

Might be a wimpy approach but I don't want to make enemies or feel uncomfortable in the gym so I said 'could I make a suggestion.....blah blah blah' - we'll see though. I feel more for other girls (and men I guess) who literally might not be able to lift the 25kg plates and therefore sees the bar loaded and goes, 'nah, not even going to bother' cuz lifting is awesome!!!!

Not knowing proper etiquette makes me scared to go into a gym now... I guess when I get to that point in my fitness I'll just get weights for home. : (

I totally get being irritated at not racking weights. It drives me nuts too...but you ARE acting like a bully (as well as others commenting) because you're judging and mocking her based on her every move. You're not just ranting about her not racking weights. You're rolling your eyes (metaphorically) about her carrying her things. Maybe she doesn't have a lock, and doesn't want to leave her things unattended? Youre doubting her commitment because of her carrying around her iPad and others said that she wont last long? Well, if she's as thin as you say, obviously she's doing something right. Youre scoffing at her sandwich-ing her weights, maybe she's new to using weights and doesn't yet pay attention to irrelevant details? Asking if she wears make up as well in a mocking manner? Maybe she goes to the gym right after work and doesn't want to scrape her face to get it all off? Basically, you and some others here are condemning everything about her, thinking you're so much better. So yes I would say that's bully behavior.

Sorry for spelling or grammar mistakes, on my phone so there will probably be lots of typos.

ETA: and you said she's new. She probably doesn't know proper gym etiquette. It could be a whole new environment for her. Instead of being a jerk, you could have nicely told her she could rack her weights to be respectful to others. Its like if you went to a different country and didn't know their customs. You'd rather be kindly notified then rudely and loudly called out in front of others. You caused her humiliation there, and clearly that wasn't enough because you're here causing her even more embarrassment because you are still bitter over being called a bully (when you in fact did not act kindly).

show previous quotes

I totally get being irritated at not racking weights. It drives me nuts too...but you ARE acting like a bully (as well as others commenting) because you're judging and mocking her based on her every move. You're not just ranting about her not racking weights. You're rolling your eyes (metaphorically) about her carrying her things. Maybe she doesn't have a lock, and doesn't want to leave her things unattended? Youre doubting her commitment because of her carrying around her iPad and others said that she wont last long? Well, if she's as thin as you say, obviously she's doing something right. Youre scoffing at her sandwich-ing her weights, maybe she's new to using weights and doesn't yet pay attention to irrelevant details? Asking if she wears make up as well in a mocking manner? Maybe she goes to the gym right after work and doesn't want to scrape her face to get it all off? Basically, you and some others here are condemning everything about her, thinking you're so much better. So yes I would say that's bully behavior.

Sorry for spelling or grammar mistakes, on my phone so there will probably be lots of typos.

ETA: and you said she's new. She probably doesn't know proper gym etiquette. It could be a whole new environment for her. Instead of being a jerk, you could have nicely told her she could rack her weights to be respectful to others. Its like if you went to a different country and didn't know their customs. You'd rather be kindly notified then rudely and loudly called out in front of others. You caused her humiliation there, and clearly that wasn't enough because you're here causing her even more embarrassment because you are still bitter over being called a bully (when you in fact did not act kindly).

1.) I don't care that she carries around an Ipad that's just how I distinguish her. Just like the guy I call "Yankee" because he always wears a Yankee hat

2.) The sandwiching of weight makes no difference to me unless I'm the one who ends up racking them. My hands are big enough to where I can grab all of her weights with one hand but when they are sandwiched the smaller one slides out and it's annoying especially when they are not my weights!

3) It's not even "etiquette" you learned this stuff in pre-school clean up your mess. you don't have to go through training to know this.

You dont care about how much she lifts...you don't care about her lugging her things around...you just dont care..so why mention it? You know what else we learn in pre school? Tone. You dont have to say something blatantly rude to imply judgement. Your tone speaks volumes. Like the difference between enthusiastically saying "wow you've changed!" Or "wow...you've um...changed..." See how they mean different things? You don't have to go through training to know this. Don't act all innocent. You are not a victim. You were rude. And now you posted here because you want people on your side. as well as people to poke fun at her. There were so many different ways to handle the situation.

woah, someones got a bee in their bonnet!! people get pissed when they continually have to clear up someones mess - he also stated she's does it all the time, meaning she isnt totally new to the gym so should know abit about etiquette and should have abit more respect and also that he did say thank-you after she did rack them.
Chill out.

I totally get being irritated at not racking weights. It drives me nuts too...but you ARE acting like a bully (as well as others commenting) because you're judging and mocking her based on her every move. You're not just ranting about her not racking weights. You're rolling your eyes (metaphorically) about her carrying her things. Maybe she doesn't have a lock, and doesn't want to leave her things unattended? Youre doubting her commitment because of her carrying around her iPad and others said that she wont last long? Well, if she's as thin as you say, obviously she's doing something right. Youre scoffing at her sandwich-ing her weights, maybe she's new to using weights and doesn't yet pay attention to irrelevant details? Asking if she wears make up as well in a mocking manner? Maybe she goes to the gym right after work and doesn't want to scrape her face to get it all off? Basically, you and some others here are condemning everything about her, thinking you're so much better. So yes I would say that's bully behavior.

Sorry for spelling or grammar mistakes, on my phone so there will probably be lots of typos.

ETA: and you said she's new. She probably doesn't know proper gym etiquette. It could be a whole new environment for her. Instead of being a jerk, you could have nicely told her she could rack her weights to be respectful to others. Its like if you went to a different country and didn't know their customs. You'd rather be kindly notified then rudely and loudly called out in front of others. You caused her humiliation there, and clearly that wasn't enough because you're here causing her even more embarrassment because you are still bitter over being called a bully (when you in fact did not act kindly).

I agree, you do sound like you came off as a bit of a bully. She did feel the need to complain about you to management. Would you have used the same tone and attitude to a 300 lb. no-neck steroid head, or a smart aleck high school jock? There have been other threads on these message boards discussing how women have been felt to feel intimidated or not welcomed in the weight lifting section of the gym. Perhaps it is guys like you that have led them to feel this way.

show previous quotes

I totally get being irritated at not racking weights. It drives me nuts too...but you ARE acting like a bully (as well as others commenting) because you're judging and mocking her based on her every move. You're not just ranting about her not racking weights. You're rolling your eyes (metaphorically) about her carrying her things. Maybe she doesn't have a lock, and doesn't want to leave her things unattended? Youre doubting her commitment because of her carrying around her iPad and others said that she wont last long? Well, if she's as thin as you say, obviously she's doing something right. Youre scoffing at her sandwich-ing her weights, maybe she's new to using weights and doesn't yet pay attention to irrelevant details? Asking if she wears make up as well in a mocking manner? Maybe she goes to the gym right after work and doesn't want to scrape her face to get it all off? Basically, you and some others here are condemning everything about her, thinking you're so much better. So yes I would say that's bully behavior.

Sorry for spelling or grammar mistakes, on my phone so there will probably be lots of typos.

ETA: and you said she's new. She probably doesn't know proper gym etiquette. It could be a whole new environment for her. Instead of being a jerk, you could have nicely told her she could rack her weights to be respectful to others. Its like if you went to a different country and didn't know their customs. You'd rather be kindly notified then rudely and loudly called out in front of others. You caused her humiliation there, and clearly that wasn't enough because you're here causing her even more embarrassment because you are still bitter over being called a bully (when you in fact did not act kindly).

I agree, you do sound like you came off as a bit of a bully. She did feel the need to complain about you to management. Would you have used the same tone and attitude to a 300 lb. no-neck steroid head, or a smart aleck high school jock? There have been other threads on these message boards discussing how women have been felt to feel intimidated or not welcomed in the weight lifting section of the gym. Perhaps it is guys like you that have led them to feel this way.

I think you're a hero- she won't forget to do it now, I think! LOL

BOOM! Love it!

I used to get angry at the person not racking their weights, but now instead I use it as a bonding experience with my fellow gym peeps, as we can commune whilst talking crap about the jerk not reracking his weights.

Bad form on your part, OP. Either remind her politely to re-rack (as maybe she doesn't actually know she's supposed to), or file a complaint, so that management can take care of it. Your choice of tactics was, indeed, over the line.