Putting a child on MFP
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My two kids are fighting the same weight fight that I am. My wife and I are trying to teach them how to eat right but I fear they have the mental block about food I do. I have to keep a journal to really put a finger on my food intake and not cheat. I think my eldest is mature enough to see this and she wants to lose weight. She sees what I am doing and the changes that are happening. She is also VERY goal oriented. My youngest is not near as mature and a free spirit, but she sees her older sister as a role model.
They both dance two to three times a week, plus in are the "Run Club" at school (which equate to about a 1/2 mile a day for my youngest and a mile or so for my eldest). However, they are fat. Fat enough the doctor's give us the evil eye when we take them in for check ups (and they should).
What are your thoughts about starting children on MFP?
Age restriction is there for a reason.
As for myself, I don't want to have to be mindful of your children on this site. Sparkteens, please.0 -
I've been on this site since I was 15. I haven't had any issues being unhealthy (anorexic, etc.) and this site has taught me to go for healthy and not skinny. I think if they're 14 or older, it's appropriate. This site has helped me not become obese like most of my family.
Well whether YOU think it's appropriate or not, the people that run the site don't which is why it's 18+0 -
Does anyone know if you have to announce if someone is a registered sex offender?
I'm not, I'm just curious, for science.0 -
One of the OP's previous threads say the girls are 5 and 9. Way too young to be calorie counting. OP, their weights will likely come down naturally if both parents continue to model healthy eating and exercise behaviors.
My heart breaks that you're calling your 5yo and 9yo fat.0 -
As far as foods go, we monitor what they eat at home... but I have a problem with my in-laws and snacks. Pretty much, anything goes. We actually had to journal all my eldests foods for a month trying to see if she had a food allergy. The doc saw the "crap" journal entries and asked who allowed it. My mother in law was pretty sheepish. She told me after she was not taking the kids to the doctor again. They know it is bad and they are playing the grand parent card. However, my father-in-law also plays the "why do you need to watch what you eat" card whenever we go to their house or we talk to them on the phone. He is actively trying to derail our diets. Not really sure why. I also found out schools will allow kids to go back for seconds or thirds if they ask. I found out because a month worth of lunch money on the school account was gone in about 2 weeks. They can also buy snacks off the accounts (which is not regulated by the schools food mandate and can have all sorts of crap in it). I tried to put a stop to it but "it is not the schools job" to monitor that. So I told my kids they get one month of money and that is all they get. If they expend it early, sack lunches for the rest of the year.
I am not shirking responsibility for them. I was complacent about being fat, dumb and happy... and that extended to my kids. I am almost two months into the new me and I am not going back. I am not going to see my children be the "fat kids" at school either. My eldest is seeing how mean other kids can be, and being fat is just an easy target. My youngest is still pretty innocent of these matters but I know she sees how kids can be on the playground... even if she is not the target. Both of my kids also see the physical changes in me and my wife (she is on MFP too and doing great). They see me go out for my C25K and I try to get them to come walk with me, or even take their scooters/bikes along. I get a partner about 1 request in 3.
BTW, both of my girls are pre-teens. I was never going to allow them to hit the forums and was just going to use the "diary" portion of the program. I wanted to use it as a tool with guidance. For instance, I ate a 1/2 cup of refriend beans and had zero clue they were 200 cal?!?! A 1/2 cup of Blue Bell does not have 200 cal
That mistake won't happen again. They need to have these sorts of epiphanies with their food too. However, if the TOS say NO and the site is not designed for children... then it is a no. I had never heard of Sparkteens, so thanks for the many recommendations.
As far as the negative replies go, meh. I was asking for advice on your thoughts... not damage control for pulling the trigger and wonder what happened. If a lot of people have these sorts of questions, then you have to look at the why. What is more important though is they are looking for a solution. However, so many people see a question as an easy target. Someone asks for help with a thoughtful opinion get flames in reply. To the trolls, shame on you. To the thoughtful replies, I give you my thanks.0 -
I have the same issues you do with both of my boy's. Our family eats healthy together at home since I started mfp over a year ago and my husband and I are losing weight healthily, but my kid's are eating unhealthily at school in which we talk to them about the tools, the diabetes that runs in the family on all sides, the health issues. They are both very active in sports 7 days a week and we all lead very outdoorsie lifestyle, but that being said, they still overeat at meals and if they were to see their calorie counts and then some, they would see their habits are still over and beyond what they need to be. My in laws and hubby keep telling me they are ok, then turn around and state they are overweight, when I continue telling everyone they need to watch and not eat so much on the portion sizes and everyone needs to quit offering them more. I have tried teaching them both to keep a journal but with their ADD, it is very hard to keep them both organized already, so working on something that works. I was truly hoping having them on here would be a great benefit for them. But now seeing sparkteen.com would be a better suggestion, I am going to check that out for both of them. One is only 9 at the moment, and the other 16, but I may locate a sparkpreteen type thing for my younger one. My older one is 6 foot tall and already weighing 235 and that is not good. I knew it was coming and not one wants to heed my warnings. Even the doc says he overweight by 10-20 pounds, but that is still not good enough for the rest of my family to take it seriously. So I feel your pain.0
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One of the OP's previous threads say the girls are 5 and 9. Way too young to be calorie counting. OP, their weights will likely come down naturally if both parents continue to model healthy eating and exercise behaviors.
My heart breaks that you're calling your 5yo and 9yo fat.
Why? If they're fat they're fat. But it's NOT their fault....and it certainly should NOT be their problem.
This is 100% the parents problem. And just for the record, these kids are 5 and 9, you don't encourage them to do anything. You tell them!!
And just for the record OP, they are ABSOLUTELY NOT fighting the same fight you are. In no way is that true.
Feed them right and make sure they exercise properly.0 -
One of the OP's previous threads say the girls are 5 and 9. Way too young to be calorie counting. OP, their weights will likely come down naturally if both parents continue to model healthy eating and exercise behaviors.
My heart breaks that you're calling your 5yo and 9yo fat.
Why? If they're fat they're fat. But it's NOT their fault....and it certainly should NOT be their problem.
This is 100% the parents problem. And just for the record, these kids are 5 and 9, you don't encourage them to do anything. You tell them!!
And just for the record OP, they are ABSOLUTELY NOT fighting the same fight you are. In no way is that true.
Feed them right and make sure they exercise properly.
Just buy them a shirt:
link to more http://justas1am.blogspot.com/2011/08/aww-baby-you-just-look-darling-in-your.html0 -
As far as foods go, we monitor what they eat at home... but I have a problem with my in-laws and snacks. Pretty much, anything goes. We actually had to journal all my eldests foods for a month trying to see if she had a food allergy. The doc saw the "crap" journal entries and asked who allowed it. My mother in law was pretty sheepish. She told me after she was not taking the kids to the doctor again. They know it is bad and they are playing the grand parent card. However, my father-in-law also plays the "why do you need to watch what you eat" card whenever we go to their house or we talk to them on the phone. He is actively trying to derail our diets. Not really sure why. I also found out schools will allow kids to go back for seconds or thirds if they ask. I found out because a month worth of lunch money on the school account was gone in about 2 weeks. They can also buy snacks off the accounts (which is not regulated by the schools food mandate and can have all sorts of crap in it). I tried to put a stop to it but "it is not the schools job" to monitor that. So I told my kids they get one month of money and that is all they get. If they expend it early, sack lunches for the rest of the year.
I am not shirking responsibility for them. I was complacent about being fat, dumb and happy... and that extended to my kids. I am almost two months into the new me and I am not going back. I am not going to see my children be the "fat kids" at school either. My eldest is seeing how mean other kids can be, and being fat is just an easy target. My youngest is still pretty innocent of these matters but I know she sees how kids can be on the playground... even if she is not the target. Both of my kids also see the physical changes in me and my wife (she is on MFP too and doing great). They see me go out for my C25K and I try to get them to come walk with me, or even take their scooters/bikes along. I get a partner about 1 request in 3.
BTW, both of my girls are pre-teens. I was never going to allow them to hit the forums and was just going to use the "diary" portion of the program. I wanted to use it as a tool with guidance. For instance, I ate a 1/2 cup of refriend beans and had zero clue they were 200 cal?!?! A 1/2 cup of Blue Bell does not have 200 cal That mistake won't happen again. They need to have these sorts of epiphanies with their food too. However, if the TOS say NO and the site is not designed for children... then it is a no. I had never heard of Sparkteens, so thanks for the many recommendations.
As far as the negative replies go, meh. I was asking for advice on your thoughts... not damage control for pulling the trigger and wonder what happened. If a lot of people have these sorts of questions, then you have to look at the why. What is more important though is they are looking for a solution. However, so many people see a question as an easy target. Someone asks for help with a thoughtful opinion get flames in reply. To the trolls, shame on you. To the thoughtful replies, I give you my thanks.
Are we trolls because we disagree? You sir, need parenting help.0 -
Depends why you want them on here - I thought the app was a good idea for a friend of my wifes 16yr old son who wants to gain weight healthily.
Was disappointed to learn that the site os 18+ since I have never seen anything on here which, were it on TV would have to be put on post watershed (for non Brits - the watershed is 9pm and programmes of a more mature nature are generally broadcast after then).0 -
Sparkteens is a good website to use, like the other posters said. I think that if you are making healthy meals at home, they should start noticing how they should eat by your example. Maybe encourage them to go workout with you as well?0
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As far as foods go, we monitor what they eat at home... but I have a problem with my in-laws and snacks. Pretty much, anything goes. We actually had to journal all my eldests foods for a month trying to see if she had a food allergy. The doc saw the "crap" journal entries and asked who allowed it. My mother in law was pretty sheepish. She told me after she was not taking the kids to the doctor again. They know it is bad and they are playing the grand parent card. However, my father-in-law also plays the "why do you need to watch what you eat" card whenever we go to their house or we talk to them on the phone. He is actively trying to derail our diets. Not really sure why. I also found out schools will allow kids to go back for seconds or thirds if they ask. I found out because a month worth of lunch money on the school account was gone in about 2 weeks. They can also buy snacks off the accounts (which is not regulated by the schools food mandate and can have all sorts of crap in it). I tried to put a stop to it but "it is not the schools job" to monitor that. So I told my kids they get one month of money and that is all they get. If they expend it early, sack lunches for the rest of the year.
I am not shirking responsibility for them. I was complacent about being fat, dumb and happy... and that extended to my kids. I am almost two months into the new me and I am not going back. I am not going to see my children be the "fat kids" at school either. My eldest is seeing how mean other kids can be, and being fat is just an easy target. My youngest is still pretty innocent of these matters but I know she sees how kids can be on the playground... even if she is not the target. Both of my kids also see the physical changes in me and my wife (she is on MFP too and doing great). They see me go out for my C25K and I try to get them to come walk with me, or even take their scooters/bikes along. I get a partner about 1 request in 3.
BTW, both of my girls are pre-teens. I was never going to allow them to hit the forums and was just going to use the "diary" portion of the program. I wanted to use it as a tool with guidance. For instance, I ate a 1/2 cup of refriend beans and had zero clue they were 200 cal?!?! A 1/2 cup of Blue Bell does not have 200 cal That mistake won't happen again. They need to have these sorts of epiphanies with their food too. However, if the TOS say NO and the site is not designed for children... then it is a no. I had never heard of Sparkteens, so thanks for the many recommendations.
As far as the negative replies go, meh. I was asking for advice on your thoughts... not damage control for pulling the trigger and wonder what happened. If a lot of people have these sorts of questions, then you have to look at the why. What is more important though is they are looking for a solution. However, so many people see a question as an easy target. Someone asks for help with a thoughtful opinion get flames in reply. To the trolls, shame on you. To the thoughtful replies, I give you my thanks.
You asked a public forum about having your kids use MFP and you received multiple responses. (that does not equal troll, negative etc) You said yourself that you have been complacent and that has extended to your kids. Now that two months has passed since you and your wife have made changes, you expect everyone else to make the same changes. (kids, grandparents, school etc) All I see is projection and your fear that your kids are going to end up like you. Lead by example and have patience.0 -
You know, my dad used me being "fat" as a child (from about pre-school through middle school) as an excuse as to why I wasn't allowed to do the activities I wanted to do (racing, gymnastics, etc.)
You know what that did to me?
It convinced me that I was fat. And that if daddy thought I was fat (and he was/is overweight, too) that I would always be fat and I should just accept it. That was the start of a very long spiral into depression/bi-polar disorder.
Some kids are larger than other. Big ****ing deal.
I was the same weight from about 4th grade all the way until I graduated from HS. I got taller, I got trimmer, I was active. You know what? I was still convinced that I was fat.
If you feel that your kids need to lose weight, fine. Do not call them fat. Do not even think that way. Guess what, if you think they're fat, they know you're looking down on them. Be a parent and control their food. Reduce the amount of sweets, sodas, junk that they have access to. Feed them their dietary requirements. If you want to talk to a pediatrician and see how many calories they should be eating a day YOU plan out their calories for the day and offer them what is within their guidelines. It is NOT their problem, it is yours.
Kids grow. If your doctor is truly giving you the evil eye, and NOT recommending what you should do about it, find a new Dr. or grow up and demand that they help.0 -
This site is WAY too adult oriented...plus, it's against the rules for kids that age. However, there are some sites that offer same features, that are more oriented to kids that age. I recommend looking into some of those.0
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Please do not make a young goal-oriented girl go on this website.
Please do not make her start counting calories.
Please do not make her create a chart about her weight.
As a goal-oriented, slightly chubby girl I got hooked on those things and made them the focus of my goal, and later an obsession; being into 'challenges' and perfectionism is a personality trait had by many anorexics and if she already has a predisposition, being told by her own parents that she is 'too fat' and to count calories could be the start on a path you don't want her to walk down.
I mean, she might be so pleased she beat her calorie goal that she lowers it, and then her target weight, and then again and again and again until she ends up in hospital just like I did
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I think you should check out that teen site. I do however think it is amazing that you are taking a very active role in this issue. I am sure your oldest can lead by example. They have to want to do it and you can not push it on them. It sounds like they are quite active. Another way without them having to record is only have healthy choices in the house take out all the Chocolate and Chips and Cookies. If the temptations are not there it will be easier for all of you. If you want a treat go out as a family for ice cream once and awhile everything is okay in moderation.0
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If your children don't handle buying lunches at school well, why don't you just make them lunches? I was never allowed to buy lunches at school. In fact, I had to start making my own lunches when I hit about 10 or so. I made the same sort of stuff my mom made (took leftovers or made sandwiches).As far as foods go, we monitor what they eat at home... but I have a problem with my in-laws and snacks. Pretty much, anything goes. We actually had to journal all my eldests foods for a month trying to see if she had a food allergy. The doc saw the "crap" journal entries and asked who allowed it. My mother in law was pretty sheepish. She told me after she was not taking the kids to the doctor again. They know it is bad and they are playing the grand parent card. However, my father-in-law also plays the "why do you need to watch what you eat" card whenever we go to their house or we talk to them on the phone. He is actively trying to derail our diets. Not really sure why. I also found out schools will allow kids to go back for seconds or thirds if they ask. I found out because a month worth of lunch money on the school account was gone in about 2 weeks. They can also buy snacks off the accounts (which is not regulated by the schools food mandate and can have all sorts of crap in it). I tried to put a stop to it but "it is not the schools job" to monitor that. So I told my kids they get one month of money and that is all they get. If they expend it early, sack lunches for the rest of the year.
I am not shirking responsibility for them. I was complacent about being fat, dumb and happy... and that extended to my kids. I am almost two months into the new me and I am not going back. I am not going to see my children be the "fat kids" at school either. My eldest is seeing how mean other kids can be, and being fat is just an easy target. My youngest is still pretty innocent of these matters but I know she sees how kids can be on the playground... even if she is not the target. Both of my kids also see the physical changes in me and my wife (she is on MFP too and doing great). They see me go out for my C25K and I try to get them to come walk with me, or even take their scooters/bikes along. I get a partner about 1 request in 3.
BTW, both of my girls are pre-teens. I was never going to allow them to hit the forums and was just going to use the "diary" portion of the program. I wanted to use it as a tool with guidance. For instance, I ate a 1/2 cup of refriend beans and had zero clue they were 200 cal?!?! A 1/2 cup of Blue Bell does not have 200 cal That mistake won't happen again. They need to have these sorts of epiphanies with their food too. However, if the TOS say NO and the site is not designed for children... then it is a no. I had never heard of Sparkteens, so thanks for the many recommendations.
As far as the negative replies go, meh. I was asking for advice on your thoughts... not damage control for pulling the trigger and wonder what happened. If a lot of people have these sorts of questions, then you have to look at the why. What is more important though is they are looking for a solution. However, so many people see a question as an easy target. Someone asks for help with a thoughtful opinion get flames in reply. To the trolls, shame on you. To the thoughtful replies, I give you my thanks.
And teaching your kids to make better choices about food is a good idea, but it sounds like you are starting to demonize foods, and teaching that to your kids is probably not the best idea. There is no "good" food and no "bad" food. But, treats should be seen as treats and not the majority of the diet. If you pediatrician flipped out about one cookie, then I could see the in-laws not liking him as a doctor. If they fed your kid 20 cookies, yeah, that's an issue, and one you're going to need to work out with them. You're all adults; you should be able to figure it out.
My mom used to tell me that I couldn't eat certain foods. I started sneaking the foods, hiding wrappers, and I would stay home sick just to gorge myself on "bad foods". I developed a very unhealthy relationship with food, and to this day I still have problems dealing with binges. I'm not blaming this on my parents, but I think a lot of my problems do stem from how I viewed food from an early age. It's definitely not a problem I'd wish on anyone.0 -
I dont have kids and I dont know you, but I would say no.
If they are under 18 are they not at home and eating what you provide? Are you setting the right example and supplying them with filling, attractive & healthy food?
You can not control what they eat outside of the house, but if you show them the path they will eventually follow.
I was always fed healthy food at home but did not understand the principle or understood portion size, I just thought we got small amounts as the food had to be spread between five kids. I moved out and filled out... Almost 20 years on I am actually starting to catch on to portion size...0 -
How often are they at the in-laws? Is this an everyday, after school thing? If so, perhaps it is time to look into alternative babysitting services/after school programs.
My in-laws were feeding my 4 year old doughnuts and pie for every meal, and my baby was being spoonfed cool whip. I'm not exaggerating. And guess what the consequences of that was - They aren't allowed to stay there anymore.0 -
You know, my dad used me being "fat" as a child (from about pre-school through middle school) as an excuse as to why I wasn't allowed to do the activities I wanted to do (racing, gymnastics, etc.)
You know what that did to me?
It convinced me that I was fat. And that if daddy thought I was fat (and he was/is overweight, too) that I would always be fat and I should just accept it. That was the start of a very long spiral into depression/bi-polar disorder.
Some kids are larger than other. Big ****ing deal.
I was the same weight from about 4th grade all the way until I graduated from HS. I got taller, I got trimmer, I was active. You know what? I was still convinced that I was fat.
If you feel that your kids need to lose weight, fine. Do not call them fat. Do not even think that way. Guess what, if you think they're fat, they know you're looking down on them. Be a parent and control their food. Reduce the amount of sweets, sodas, junk that they have access to. Feed them their dietary requirements. If you want to talk to a pediatrician and see how many calories they should be eating a day YOU plan out their calories for the day and offer them what is within their guidelines. It is NOT their problem, it is yours.
Kids grow. If your doctor is truly giving you the evil eye, and NOT recommending what you should do about it, find a new Dr. or grow up and demand that they help.
This right here, her experience is why my heart breaks hearing you call your young daughter FAT.
Because a child should not have to hear that from their parents.0
This discussion has been closed.
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