My husband says he isn't attracted to skinny women

Options
lemonsnowdrop
lemonsnowdrop Posts: 1,298 Member
in Motivation and Support
I'm sure you've heard this before. You're a bigger girl an insecure about your weight. Your husband reassures you by saying, "Honey, I don't like the way thin girls look." A lot of people think that's just to make you feel better, but my husband has dated primarily larger women/girls with some meat on their bones, and he's an attractive guy, so it's not like he can't land a size 0 model.

But what worries me is this: if I become skinny, and he's really not attracted to skinny women, what do I do? :(
«13456

Replies

  • tapirfrog
    tapirfrog Posts: 616 Member
    Options
    Have you asked him this?
  • theskinnybecky
    theskinnybecky Posts: 37 Member
    Options
    I'm pretty sure he'll love you no matter what- my hubby says the same thing, and we've known each other and dated off and on since grade 8. He knew me at my smallest, and my largest, and I know that he loves me both ways. As long as I am happy.
  • SamanthaKate44
    SamanthaKate44 Posts: 1
    Options
    He's your husband. I doubt he will honestly not find his wife attractive, just because she made a decision to be healthier and happier with herself. He should love you for you, not for how you look. Regardless of your size, you're still going to have that gorgeous smile I see in your profile picture. Don't stress. It'll all be fine. He loves YOU, all of you. Breathe, girly! :smile: :flowerforyou:
  • Edensienna
    Edensienna Posts: 180 Member
    Options
    He is your husband, he loves the woman you are... The skin you live in will change over the years but the substance remains unchanged.

    I'm sure he will admire your determination and your fitness as you continue your journey!

    I am a happier, more energetic and sociable lady since I've lost those excess pounds gained during pregnancy... The changes have been positive. Show me a man who doesn't like a secure and positive woman!
  • Orion782
    Orion782 Posts: 391
    Options
    The "right" answer is that he'll always be attracted to you, no matter how you look...

    That being said, some men actually DO NOT care for thin ladies. As a former military guy, I personally witnessed many seemingly handsome, in shape sailors would date and/or marry women that were "larger" (for lack of a better term). Guys like what they like, and if that means a big booty then more power to them.

    Personally, I'll take a fit chick any day!
  • Pipsg1rl
    Pipsg1rl Posts: 1,414 Member
    Options
    I think you need a visual reference. Get out a few magazines and ask him about the girls in them.

    He may just mean "skinny" = "unhealthy."

    My husband doesn't like "skinny" either. We watch Project Runway and he's making the skinny person jokes.

    I'm sure that when you are where you feel happy that's what he'll notice.

    The girls in Men's magazines are skinny sometimes too, but usually they like the girls with at least some meat! I've always said I'd rather have the body of a Penthouse girl than a Cosmo girl because men don't look at Cosmopolitan!!
  • TR0berts
    TR0berts Posts: 7,739 Member
    Options
    I think you need a visual reference. Get out a few magazines and ask him about the girls in them.

    He may just mean "skinny" = "unhealthy."

    My husband doesn't like "skinny" either. We watch Project Runway and he's making the skinny person jokes.

    tumblr_mazpd0S6Iv1rs47u7.jpg
  • Sunbrooke
    Sunbrooke Posts: 632 Member
    Options
    A lot of guys like some feminine jiggle. They think it is sensual and sexy. Just do stuff to show that getting in better shape is still sexy and doesn't mean you have to lose all of your curves. Try looking up some stripper moves. They do stuff that is meant to show some jiggle on even trim girls. He won't be worried that your jeans are getting smaller, if it means you feel confident enough to give him private dances. :wink:
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
    Options
    i cant even.
  • EmmieBaby
    EmmieBaby Posts: 1,235 Member
    Options
    I wouldn't worry, you can be thinner and still have curves =) also he might be happy to watch you do squats...just sayin
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    Options
    I think you need a visual reference. Get out a few magazines and ask him about the girls in them.

    He may just mean "skinny" = "unhealthy."

    My husband doesn't like "skinny" either. We watch Project Runway and he's making the skinny person jokes.

    I'm sure that when you are where you feel happy that's what he'll notice.

    The girls in Men's magazines are skinny sometimes too, but usually they like the girls with at least some meat! I've always said I'd rather have the body of a Penthouse girl than a Cosmo girl because men don't look at Cosmopolitan!!

    :huh:

    I don't think comparing herself to airbrushed girls in a magazine is going to do anything to help the situation.

    OP, you are lovely. Just have an open and honest conversation with your husband. He married you, he loves you and you both should be able to have this conversation without visual aids.
  • CMENOW30
    CMENOW30 Posts: 3 Member
    Options
    My husband says the same thing...even though I was literally half the size I am now when I met him...but that was also before our 3 beautiful children...One who happens to be in college now.. I think we women have it all wrong..they just want us to like the way we look because when we are satisfied the whole household seems to function in a happier way... and a happy confident woman is always more attractive than a skinny hungry girl..
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
    Options
    Clearly he's going to leave you. Your best bet is to not change and in fact do whatever is needed to make your physical appearance more in line with what he desires.
  • Pipsg1rl
    Pipsg1rl Posts: 1,414 Member
    Options
    I think you need a visual reference. Get out a few magazines and ask him about the girls in them.

    He may just mean "skinny" = "unhealthy."

    My husband doesn't like "skinny" either. We watch Project Runway and he's making the skinny person jokes.

    I'm sure that when you are where you feel happy that's what he'll notice.

    The girls in Men's magazines are skinny sometimes too, but usually they like the girls with at least some meat! I've always said I'd rather have the body of a Penthouse girl than a Cosmo girl because men don't look at Cosmopolitan!!

    :huh:

    I don't think comparing herself to airbrushed girls in a magazine is going to do anything to help the situation.

    OP, you are lovely. Just have an open and honest conversation with your husband. He married you, he loves you and you both should be able to have this conversation without visual aids.

    Don't misunderstand. I didn't mean for her to steal his stash of Maxim and then go "oh I don't look like her..." It was simply a tool where they can both understand what he means when he says "skinny" even if it is an airbrushed photo in a magazine.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    Options
    Men have different preferences and these threads invariably end up in body shaming of one type or another. Me? I adore my size 2 wife. Of course, I also adored her at size 4, 6, 8, and 10. Best of luck!
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    Options
    You don't have to be skinny to be healthy. Now if you want to be skinny and he doesn't find that attractive, then you'll need to decide which is more important: what you like in the mirror, or what he finds attractive. And the only right answer it the one that makes you happiest.
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    Options
    Hopefully the man you married love you for you, not just your shape.

    Is he attracted to old women? Because you are going to be one some day. I'm sure you love him and you're smart and didn't marry some shallow dude who's only concern is a girl's appearance.

    This reminded me of the poem "When You Are Old" by Yeats:

    When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
    And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
    And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
    Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

    How many loved your moments of glad grace,
    And loved your beauty with love false or true,
    But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
    And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

    And bending down beside the glowing bars,
    Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
    And paced upon the mountains overhead
    And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

    OP, I am going to hazard a guess here: I don't think it's going to prove to be a problem.
  • miss_jessiejane
    miss_jessiejane Posts: 2,819 Member
    Options
    Hopefully the man you married love you for you, not just your shape.

    Is he attracted to old women? Because you are going to be one some day. I'm sure you love him and you're smart and didn't marry some shallow dude who's only concern is a girl's appearance.

    This reminded me of the poem "When You Are Old" by Yeats:

    When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
    And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
    And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
    Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

    How many loved your moments of glad grace,
    And loved your beauty with love false or true,
    But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
    And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

    And bending down beside the glowing bars,
    Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
    And paced upon the mountains overhead
    And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

    OP, I am going to hazard a guess here: I don't think it's going to prove to be a problem.

    That's a lovely poem.

Categories