My husband says he isn't attracted to skinny women

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Replies

  • LiveLoveLift67
    LiveLoveLift67 Posts: 895 Member
    Tell him you are trying to be fit not skinny. Huge difference and if he cant get over that fact then that is his problem . Get healthy and fit because you want or need to.....
  • IvoryParchment
    IvoryParchment Posts: 651 Member
    You should be asking him this, not us.

    He has to understand why you want to lose weight when he says he doesn't like skinny. You have to understand what he means by "doesn't like skinny." When you're changing your diet and lifestyle, it has a big impact on his life, no matter how he feels about your appearance. You have to be able to have honest discussions so you don't risk fights about him "sabotaging" your diet.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    Just break up.















    Seriously... 3 pages in?!

    Yeah, not exactly motivation and support, but thanks for trying.

    That caused butt hurt? lol

    Ok, a little dose of honesty, there is a very good chance that he is telling you what he thinks you want to hear. No way to tell for certain without asking him, and you're the only one here who can do that. So, try that. Talking to him.
  • debrakgoogins
    debrakgoogins Posts: 2,033 Member
    Clearly he's going to leave you. Your best bet is to not change and in fact do whatever is needed to make your physical appearance more in line with what he desires.

    I sincerely hope this was said with sarcasm. This can be a true issue. A good friend of mine lost her husband when she lost 85 pounds for this very reason. (She is better off without him but still...it happened.)

    I just think you need to have an honest conversation with your husband. My husband doesn't notice if I gain or lose 10 pounds because he still sees me as the woman he fell in love with. My suspicion is that he will love you that much more because he will see you happy and healthy. Most men just want a happy wife.
  • fitandworking
    fitandworking Posts: 18 Member
    Everyone has a "type" but I'm sure your husband is in love with more than just your booty lol. Also we all have different versions of what "skinny" is. I don't think of someone like Jennifer Aniston to be skinny as much as fit for example. However other people acted like I was "skinny" when I was down in the 180's haha. In regards to his prior partners, even him being attractive himself, it is generally probably easier to find overweight women just because there are so many of us in the U.S. to be blunt. He could also think thinner women are less sociable or nice(wrongly so) like many people do and he is more attracted to a "chunky personality." As long as you are the same you on the inside, I'm sure he will be more than fine with your weight loss.
  • Marcolter
    Marcolter Posts: 103 Member
    Define skinny? Underweight bony ...... ughh. Look healthy and robust, not fat. I mean all those Real Housewives all skinny with plastic boob are fugly.
  • craftywitch_63
    craftywitch_63 Posts: 829 Member
    All men are attracted to women...Period. Skinny, fat, one leg, three arms, eye in middle of head. boobs on her neck, bald headed, facial hair(maybe that is a little too far), but you get the point. While we may have our preference, we are attracted to anyone. That is all!

    Uh, I think someone needs to lay off the testosterone. Just sayin'.
  • vikki00
    vikki00 Posts: 8 Member
    You are gorgeous btw!! but as your husband; he should love u at any size! no matter 00 or 6XL. im sure theres wayy more to you then just your weight or appearance. Im sure your an awesome person and size has nothing to do with that, he should love you either way. :)
  • craftywitch_63
    craftywitch_63 Posts: 829 Member
    All I know is this.

    Funny-memes-real-men-have-curves.jpg



    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    ZjMvobM.jpg
  • IIIIISerenityNowIIIII
    IIIIISerenityNowIIIII Posts: 425 Member
    Well, wouldn't you still love and be attracted to your husband if he lost or gained weight?
  • Sunbrooke
    Sunbrooke Posts: 632 Member
    All I know is this.

    Funny-memes-real-men-have-curves.jpg

    I love my hubby so much that I would still be attracted to him if he looked like man 2. :wink:
  • LoveAthena
    LoveAthena Posts: 6
    He'll adjust. Before I lost weight my butt was a lot bigger and my husband LOVED it. Of course he misses the backyard, but he's found other things to love and overall, he loves my new body much more. Not that I'm at goal, but even at goal, I believe he'll find other things he loves about my new body.

    That's how love works, you're always looking for things to love about that person. When one thing changes, you find something new to love.
  • lemur_lady
    lemur_lady Posts: 350 Member
    in fact when he sees bones he gags.

    That's not a nice comment at all.

    May not be nice but its true. He feels physcially sick. Not my hang up its his.
  • Todayistheday13
    Todayistheday13 Posts: 22 Member
    He's your husband and should be attracted to you no matter what!! Do what's best for you. =) I've always put myself on the back burner and worried about everyone else. One thing I learned is to never do that! you are just as important than everyone else. He should respect what will make you feel better...
  • Mommybug2
    Mommybug2 Posts: 149 Member
    When I ask him, all he says is he'll love the way I look no matter what, but if I've always been this size, how can he know for sure? I've talked to him about it, I was just wondering if anyone else has been in this situation, and what the outcome was like.

    I think that "skinny" to him is like VS and swimsuit models, but I just want a flat stomach, no back fat and to lose my love handles. They're not very lovely.

    I've been in your shoes. I met my husband at a size 10/12 and he has always said he doesn't like "Skinny" women. I also happen to know certain celebs he finds attractive (Kaley Cuco for one) and I know she is like a size 4 so when he says he doesn't like "Skinny" he is referring to boney not thin.

    In the 17 years since we met I've been a size 10 to a size 20 (after both children). Most of the time I have been a solid size 12. My husband has been attracted to me at all sizes although he has never discouraged my weight loss. In the last year I have shed 75 lbs and gone from a size 20 to a size 8 and I am hearing no complaints. I asked him the other night if he thought I needed to lose more and he said "Your beautiful and I don't know what your worried about, but I just want you to be happy."

    I think I will always be "curvy" so that isn't a problem but I also have no desire to be a size 0 - I am not built like that and don't think it would look good on me. I'm still not quite content at a size 8 but pretty sure I'll go into maintenance once I'm down another size or two. I think now I really just want to stop the jiggle and work on turning fat into muscle which will tone me up, drop me another size and still keep me at a healthy BMI. However I have told my husband to let me know if he thinks I am going to the extreme and he told me not to worry that he would speak loud and clear if he thought I was getting too skinny.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    When I ask him, all he says is he'll love the way I look no matter what, but if I've always been this size, how can he know for sure? I've talked to him about it, I was just wondering if anyone else has been in this situation, and what the outcome was like.

    I think that "skinny" to him is like VS and swimsuit models, but I just want a flat stomach, no back fat and to lose my love handles. They're not very lovely.

    Oh, I just saw this comment. I think that he is trying not to cause any problems. He doesn't want to say anything that might get himself in trouble. He loves you, and he loves your body. He will love you fitter as well. He doesn't want to say that too soon because he doesn't want you to feel bad or discouraged. You are definitely creating an unnecessary worry. Do the fitness work you want to do and simply watch as he continues to shower you with praise and affection, it may even increase. Fitness is an exciting process.

    Also, men like change. He's not going to say that because it could also lead to a misunderstanding. But, when something changes it invigorates things. He will enjoy the changes as you get fitter, and you will enjoy the changes, and he will enjoy the change that creates in your confidence, enjoyment, sexuality, and you will enjoy his enjoyment. Change is good for everyone involved.

    The fact that you are so worried about this and asking us indicates to me that you are in a situation in which you at least appear to have a somewhat fragile situation in terms of how you feel about your body and how you feel about his attraction to you. He knows that. And he is being careful.

    I really don't understand why you are worrying about this and if this is indeed a genuine worry. Is there something else going on? Is there some underlying feeling you are trying to validate. Or are you looking for an excuse to not work towards your fitness goals. I don't know the answers to these questions. Only you do. But, they are some questions you might want to ask yourself. Because what you are dealing with is not an issue with your husband. It's an issue you are having. Otherwise talking to him would have been enough. You wouldn't have needed to come to us for further comfort, advice, or validation. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I just don't understand. I don't. Just some stuff to think about.

    You don't need to spend your time and mind worrying about things like this.
  • dym123
    dym123 Posts: 1,670 Member
    I would like to think your husband will love you no matter what size you are, but in the end you need to do what is best for you. If you want to lose weight for health or for purely aesthetic reasons, you need to do it for you.
  • justifit
    justifit Posts: 26
    I was thinking maybe not to get "skinny". Maybe just loose a little so that you are comfortable but maintain a good weight so that your husband is okay also.
  • ottermotorcycle
    ottermotorcycle Posts: 654 Member
    The answer is: he deals with it.

    Your body, your rules.

    I can't believe people are telling you that you shouldn't achieve your goal body because someone else prefers something different. He's your husband. Presumably, he loves you. Your happiness is supposed to make him happy.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    The answer is: he deals with it.

    Your body, your rules.

    I can't believe people are telling you that you shouldn't achieve your goal body because someone else prefers something different. He's your husband. Presumably, he loves you. Your happiness is supposed to make him happy.

    In that case, she should get a boyfriend or three and make her husband really happy.
  • 19TaraLynn84
    19TaraLynn84 Posts: 739 Member
    I'm guessing he will change his preference when he sees your new bod. ;)
  • AmandaJordan79
    AmandaJordan79 Posts: 43
    I have a theory that men want their women curvalicious because they're insecure and think no other man will want his bootylicious wife and she won't cheat either. I always reassure my husband that he's my best friend and even if The Rock is banging down my door I will always stick with him. He's been with me through my worst self and that means more to me than everything.

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