Call to All Females- Please Listen.

xiamjackie
xiamjackie Posts: 611 Member
in Motivation and Support
This week is National Eating Disorders Awareness Week. This is something that is extremely close to me, as I struggled for years with self image, self esteem, body issues, and eventually an eating disorder.


The statistics for eating disorders in the US and other developed countries are growing rapidly each year. And unfortunately, the age is getting lower and lower. Girls as young as 6, 7 years old are starting to become aware of what "fat" is, what they look like, how their hair is, etc.

While eating disorders do reach to males as well, I want to address the females on MFP. If you are a mother, aunt, grandmother, sister, babysitter, camp counselor, teacher, or any role model of any kind for young girls, please think about your actions around them. YOU are able to set an example of what healthy is, and what being CONFIDENT in yourself looks like. Your daughter will not notice if you have love handles. Young girls do not care what cellulite is. They don't notice that your roots are growing out. What they will notice, however, is you lifting up your shirt and pinching your skin while looking in the mirror, criticizing the extra bit of fat around your stomach. They will hear you complain about how your thighs are gigantic and how you think you're ugly. They'll hear you refuse compliments or make comments about other women who are skinnier than you, or how your husband must miss the "skinny" version of you he married. They'll see you skip dinner or get a side salad with no dressing for your only meal of the day.

Believe me, because I was that young girl. I watched my mom skip meals and eat little calories to keep her slim figure. I listened to her complain about her cellulite and refuse to wear a bathing suit without shorts attached because she hated her legs. As I grew, she scrutinized my body as well. My mom loved me and she was an amazing, giving, selfless person; but some of the things she did and said had a lasting affect on me, even though she didn't know it.

I went through a period of my life where I ate fewer than 500 calories a day and worked out for about 2.5 hours a day. And I would cry, thinking about how I'd never be able to change my lifestyle and eventually I'd affect my daughter the same way my mom affected me. Over many years and many trials, I have finally found my confidence again. I am strong, I am healthy, and I am working hard to fight ED with other girls as well.

You have the chance to show what being healthy, confident, and beautiful just the way you are REALLY means. Please, take the time to think about how you can affect the young girls in your life. We can change these statistics.
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Replies

  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
    :flowerforyou:
  • sarahstrezo
    sarahstrezo Posts: 568 Member
    Very well said.
  • SugaryLynx
    SugaryLynx Posts: 2,640 Member
    :heart: beautifully said
  • Jett_05
    Jett_05 Posts: 95 Member
    (((<3))). One thing that should also be pointed out (especially regarding this title) is that eating disorders also effect men and for those men who don't suffer from eating disorders directly, its still important that they understand the severity of these illnesses and feel supported as they support loved ones.
  • beachlover317
    beachlover317 Posts: 2,848 Member
    :flowerforyou:
  • Yanicka1
    Yanicka1 Posts: 4,564 Member
    :heart:
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    Bump for my FL.
  • misschoppo
    misschoppo Posts: 463 Member
    :flowerforyou: well said
  • skyekeeper
    skyekeeper Posts: 286 Member
    Well said!
    Bump
  • caseythirteen
    caseythirteen Posts: 956 Member
    Couldn't agree more!! We need to empower the young ladies around us and start changing the unhealthy patterns that have been around for so long.
  • starbucksbuzz
    starbucksbuzz Posts: 466 Member
    Yes to all of this. Well said. :heart: :flowerforyou:

    NOT trying to toot my own horn here at all but I actually just blogged about this very issue, and included a crap ton of links to empowering women speaking out against body hate. If anyone is interested the link is http://mrsmawesome.wordpress.com/2014/02/22/feminist-self-esteem-rantings/
  • MagicalLeopleurodon
    MagicalLeopleurodon Posts: 623 Member
    This strikes home for me too. I was anorexic for 11 years. Now i have four amazing nieces and i strive to be the best influence on them that i can.

    My 11 year old niece was wearing mascara the other day because, "her eyelashes are too thin." And she wanted to diet because shes "fat". Now, this kid climbs trees like she gets paid to do it and is barely a 00. Athletic doesmt quite sum it up. I told her she doesnt need makeup but if she enjoyed wearing it and had permission then she did a great job putting it on. I also held up my leg against hers and asked, "am i fat?" "NO NO NO! YOURE BEAUTIFUL!" "Then how can you br fat when youre so much smaller than me?"

    The girls are 5, 11, 12, and 14 and i hear them talk "fat" and it breaks my heart. The awesome news is they work out with me a lot because its fun. They know exercise=health.
  • Crateria_
    Crateria_ Posts: 253 Member
    :flowerforyou:
  • KarenJanine
    KarenJanine Posts: 3,497 Member
    :flowerforyou:

    Thank you, wonderful post.
  • JenRunTriHappyGirl
    JenRunTriHappyGirl Posts: 521 Member
    :flowerforyou: :heart: Thank you.
  • lightmouse
    lightmouse Posts: 175 Member
    Beautifully put. I have struggled with food since I was 12 and decided my stomach was fat. I have obsessed about it every day since, and I am 29 now. It is only in the last few months that I have managed to banish a few demons and take care of my body properly, but it is still a struggle sometimes to eat as much as I know I need to to keep the muscle I've managed to build. If i am ever lucky enough to have children I hope that I will stop worrying so much, but I do get scared sometimes that I am always going to have this bizarre love/hate relationship with food.
  • goredguar
    goredguar Posts: 63 Member
    <3 This is such a nice post. As someone who's suffered an ED in the past, your words ring truth.

    Hopefully some people will listen to your words of wisdom. Even if it's just one person it'll be worth it - thanks for posting this :)
  • in4nomz
    in4nomz Posts: 230
    Being someone who has also struggled with with body image as well as eating disorders for many years, I appreciate something like this being posted. So well said girl! :flowerforyou:
  • love2lift_85
    love2lift_85 Posts: 356 Member
    Great post, thanks for this. I have an 8-mo old daughter, I very much want her to see herself as beautiful no matter what!
  • craftywitch_63
    craftywitch_63 Posts: 829 Member
    This is a wonderful post! :flowerforyou: I, too, have struggled with and ED for years and I have the poorest body image of anyone you've ever met. This weekend, for the first time in 28 years, I bought and wore a bathing suit. I've thought of covering my mirrors with black crepe so I wouldn't have to look at myself.

    I didn't know Eating Disorder Week even existed, but I'm glad it does.

    It does, however, bring on a small dilemma - how is it celebrated? I'm guessing NOT with cake.

    Maybe:

    AHnX12Rs.jpg
  • miss_jessiejane
    miss_jessiejane Posts: 2,819 Member
    :heart:
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
    Don't forget about the boys. I can tell you as the mother of a young man who, back when he was 11 or 12, came to me and said he was fat and would have to stop eating. It took a lot of work and patience to get him through that. Boys and men can suffer just as much as we females can.
  • crystalflame
    crystalflame Posts: 1,049 Member
    :heart: :heart: :heart:

    I'm going to make an extra effort to focus on the positives of myself this week. Thanks for this.
  • first01
    first01 Posts: 20
    <3 this........ thank you for posting it. So nice to read a woman buidling other women up instead of taring them down which is usually the case on this site
  • BikerGirlElaine
    BikerGirlElaine Posts: 1,631 Member
    :heart: :heart: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :heart: :heart:
  • tallieterp
    tallieterp Posts: 257 Member
    great to bring awareness and share your story! just want to also mention eating disorders that go the other way in regards to binging and food addictions. While they might not be as recognized as those we know well, they still can be very damaging and may often morph later into disorders at the other extreme such as anorexia etc. The spectrum is broad and it is good to know that awareness is happening! so glad to hear you are healthy
  • xiamjackie
    xiamjackie Posts: 611 Member
    Glad to see so many women thinking positively :) I in no way condone ED and if you do friend me, be aware that I do tell the truth. If you admit to not hitting your calories for a day and feeling good about it, I won't let you get away with it. Or, if you post about how ugly and fat you are, I definitely will not respond with, "no you're skinny and beautiful!" I go the tough love way- compliments don't always work for ED soldiers, they didn't work for me. Instead, I had to have people tell me the dangers of what I was doing and how building my own confidence would help me in the future.

    And to a few posters- I did address in my original post that ED does affect males. I just also said I was specifically going to address females because of my own personal experience.
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
    :flowerforyou:
  • fannyfrost
    fannyfrost Posts: 756 Member
    You mentioned girls as young as 6 or 7. Yes and it is amazing how the outside influences can be. My daughter who is now 19 and struggles to keep weight on because she is naturally thin and has stomach issues, started hearing it really early. Although eating disorders are usually about being thin, here is something people forget about.

    Age 2 - Dr asks "does she eat" why yes she ate 3/4 of a hamburger on the way over here, but her favorite foods are broccoli and salad (no dressing)
    Age 7 - friend tells her she is too skinny
    Age 7 - Second grade teacher scrutinizing snacks and kids diets telling them to eat healthy but won't allow my daughter to have chocolate milk, tells her to bring juice. Also rewarded the kids with yankee doodle cakes but no candy or cake allowed for snack?
    Age 8 - She is checking nutrition labels for fat content (learned at school)
    Age 10 - she is in the elevator with 2 friends and one mom who says that her daughter is fat, the third girl is perfect and my kid is too skinny
    Age 11 - she is asked at a BBQ how to lose weight by a kid 2 years older, my daughters plate 1/2 veggies the other girls hotdog and chips no veggies
    Age 14 - I have a fat stomach
    Age 15 she is a dancer the teacher tells them they are all fat
    Age 16 dance teacher says I am sick of bellies that hang over booty shorts and jiggly thighs
    Age 17 - She loses 1 lb and goes in her room hysterical crying, same dance teacher also comments on how her measurements went down

    Fast forward to today, she is vegan for health reasons and her stomach problems are so much better, but she is 5'4" and only 102 lbs. I worry, but I know she is eating and trying to eat more. I am more concerned about muscle and being healthy. I have struggled with weight and sometimes say I am fat, but I wear shorts and a bathing suit every summer. I point out that I want to lose weight the healthy way, eating good food and I have always worked out.

    When daughter was real little I told her you need to eat veggies before you can have junk food because Veggies help you grow big, but cookies will keep you small. We need to change the messages that are out there overall. Its not just our moms that do it to us, or our dads, its all those teachers and other kids who have moms making stupid comments.

    FYI, my daughter is seeing a counselor at school and has a plan to get an on campus apartment next year so she will have a kitchen and can cook herself better food.

    I know many of you will say "your daughter is so lucky she is thin" but she battles with food too. One day she was fat, the next day too skinny, she didn't even know how to handle the messages that the world gave her. She is finally getting to a place where she can feel good about her body again, that is really the heart of the problem, we don't feel good about our bodies.
  • kshadows
    kshadows Posts: 1,315 Member
    <3<3<3 Love this!!!

    I have a daughter who is much too young to understand these things but my 5 year old son has heard WAY too much from my sister who has suffered an eating disorder. Luckily I am good at balancing and I never eat something different just because I feel the need to. Food = energy and that's what I teach my kiddos!!

    Thank you for posting!

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