Friends say I am too skinny now

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AvengersMom
AvengersMom Posts: 6
in Goal: Maintaining Weight
I should start by saying that when I was a kid and teenager I was really small. I was 18 before I went over 100 pounds and I'm only 5'2. Life happened and my normal resting weight was between 140 and 150 in my mid twenties. People snickered but no one called me "fat" to my face. Then through my second pregnancy I gained a ton of weight. After having my baby I was miserable at 185. Then I decided to change my life. I started working out and eating healthy. I joined my fitness pal at about 165 pounds. One year later I'm now 107 and the best shape of my life. I do a ton of cardio and weights and feel great. Problem is, people are now saying I'm "too skinny" and a good friend told me it looked like I was a cancer patient. Seriously. The profile pic of me is about 10 pounds ago but I look pretty much the same. I don't want to lose anymore weight, just keep toning and maintaining. How do you deal with the constant criticism. No one had anything to say when I was big, how is it ok to tear me down now that I'm fit?
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Replies

  • njean888
    njean888 Posts: 399 Member
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    I think you look great! I'm 5'2 as well, my lowest was 111 and that was to thin on me but everyone carries weight differently. If you are happy then it really doesn't matter what anyone says. Great job to you for your weight loss.
  • unicornpoop
    unicornpoop Posts: 178 Member
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    Ignore them. I would respond by saying you are completely healthy and you would never make remarks about their weight thick or thin.
  • MissLeelooDallas
    MissLeelooDallas Posts: 145 Member
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    For some reason, I've found that people are more open to telling others they think they're "too skinny" as opposed to telling them they're "too fat". I've gotten the too skinny comment starting around when I was at 115 (I'm 5'3"). Currently, I'm 103 and trying to gain a couple of pounds back before returning to maintanence. I've gotten downright rude comments from co-workers, but luckily my real friends and my family and husband are supportive and encouraging. Even though it bothers me to hear the thoughtless comments like "eat something", "too skinny", "you're going to disappear", etc, I just have to chalk it up to those people not having good manners. You've worked hard to get to the weight you want! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise or discourage you! As long as you're happy and healthy, try not to worry about what everyone else thinks and says. There's no point in letting their senselessness or jealousy upset you.
  • Amanda_Gx6
    Amanda_Gx6 Posts: 320 Member
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    Ask them if they would call a large person fat. I don't think people realize that its just as big of an insult being called "skinny" as it is to be called "fat" to some people. I would tell them how you feel, you are comfortable at your current size, you are confident and you have never felt better and that quite frankly if they have nothing positive to say than they should just keep their negative and insulting opinions to themselves.

    congrats and your friend should be ashamed by saying you "look like a cancer patient" that is such a nasty thing to say.
  • miscletters
    miscletters Posts: 1
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    I think you look great now, but more importantly it's about how you feel. I went from 155 (after hip surgery) to 110 (after divorce) and people kept telling me I was too skinny then also even though I felt great. I had people I thought were friends who just wanted to be around me when I was miserable. When I was happy and going about my goals, they tried to tear me down as well. Be happy with who you are, enjoy your kids and if they have anything negative to say just respond with a Thank you :)
  • merecard
    merecard Posts: 56 Member
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    Girls compete - WOMEN Empower.

    As long as you are healthy - eating right and getting active - people have to realize that everyone is different. Congratulations on your hard work and determination. inspiring!! Great job getting fit and being who you want to be, and being healthy and active for your kids.
  • misschoppo
    misschoppo Posts: 463 Member
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    If you are happy with how you look and feel like you are physically fitter than you have ever been I would not pay too much attention to the comments that others make.

    I'm 5ft 3 and weigh around the 100-105lb mark subject to fluctuations. People rarely comment in a negative way as I'm small framed and I don't look like a stick, just slim. If I do get the odd "your to skinny" comment or "you need to put on some weight" at work I just shrug it off. To be honest I usually just smile but don't even respond since the comments only ever come from my significantly overweight and very inactive colleagues and so I tend not lose sleep over their opinions :D
  • ottermotorcycle
    ottermotorcycle Posts: 654 Member
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    Because skinny - especially skinny on the borderline of "too skinny" - is considered desirable in our society, people think it's okay to comment when someone is thin without realizing that it's just rude to be picking on someone else's body, period. Plus... don't forget how many celebrities are rocking that "cancer patient" look. Sometimes people are jealous! How many times during your weight loss journey did you have the thought "If only everyone else was fatter"? :laugh:

    As long as you are healthy and your goals are healthy, ignore what other people have to say.
  • brewji
    brewji Posts: 752 Member
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    Because skinny - especially skinny on the borderline of "too skinny" - is considered desirable in our society, people think it's okay to comment when someone is thin without realizing that it's just rude to be picking on someone else's body, period. Plus... don't forget how many celebrities are rocking that "cancer patient" look. Sometimes people are jealous! How many times during your weight loss journey did you have the thought "If only everyone else was fatter"? :laugh:

    As long as you are healthy and your goals are healthy, ignore what other people have to say.

    This. So much this.
  • Julesbait
    Julesbait Posts: 190 Member
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    I'm starting to get this A LOT now. I'm 5'6"ish and 164, so it's not like I'm even "skinny" yet. Still 14 lbs from goal. But I'm getting tons of comments that I don't need to lose any more weight, I'm getting skinny, whatever. I finally figured out that the vast majority of these comments are coming from people who have only known me as fat. So I'm guessing it's just the shock of seeing "skinny" Jules as opposed to fat Jules they're used to.

    Whatever. People can have their opinions. As long as you know yourself and know your body and are happy with both, that's all that matters.
  • laineybz
    laineybz Posts: 704 Member
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    I've had a few of these comments. Funny how the same people weren't as concerned for my health when I was obese.

    As long as you're happy and healthy, carry on. I am!
  • ChristineMB8
    ChristineMB8 Posts: 5
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    You look great, you should be proud, and you should also understand (smiles) that it's probably jealousy. Regardless of who they are, some people just hate it when others are exceling and doing good in any way, because they don't have the guts to do the same in their lives, in whatever category it is. Be proud and don't listen. As long as you don't have bones protruding, I would say you are just hotter than them and they know it. ;) haha
  • coltsgirl311
    coltsgirl311 Posts: 226 Member
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    I'm starting to get this A LOT now. I'm 5'6"ish and 164, so it's not like I'm even "skinny" yet. Still 14 lbs from goal. But I'm getting tons of comments that I don't need to lose any more weight, I'm getting skinny, whatever. I finally figured out that the vast majority of these comments are coming from people who have only known me as fat. So I'm guessing it's just the shock of seeing "skinny" Jules as opposed to fat Jules they're used to.

    Whatever. People can have their opinions. As long as you know yourself and know your body and are happy with both, that's all that matters.

    EXCELLENT point about the difference from the beginning to where you are now being part of the reason people think you are "too skinny". Some of my coworkers say things like that to me, "you're going to disappear", etc, and I just smile and say thanks.
  • fitnessqueen49
    fitnessqueen49 Posts: 3
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    I think you look great. Those people who make those comments are probably wishing they could be your size.:smile:
  • KeepGoingKylene
    KeepGoingKylene Posts: 432 Member
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    I'm starting to get this A LOT now. I'm 5'6"ish and 164, so it's not like I'm even "skinny" yet. Still 14 lbs from goal. But I'm getting tons of comments that I don't need to lose any more weight, I'm getting skinny, whatever. I finally figured out that the vast majority of these comments are coming from people who have only known me as fat. So I'm guessing it's just the shock of seeing "skinny" Jules as opposed to fat Jules they're used to.

    Whatever. People can have their opinions. As long as you know yourself and know your body and are happy with both, that's all that matters.

    This happens to me too, I am 5'3" and started at 270lbs, now at 188lbs and people can't believe I want to lose more. Um hello, how can I be done at 188lbs at 5'3". SMH
    People are just weird is all lol, as long as you are healthy and fit all is good! You look great btw. :drinker:
  • nxd10
    nxd10 Posts: 4,570 Member
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    You look very healthy. Your BMI is okay? You feel good? You look good.

    It's hard for people to adjust to sudden weight loss. They will learn to see you as you look now and if (God forbid!) you gain 10 pounds in the future, they'll think you look chubby.

    Congratulations!
  • fast_eddie_72
    fast_eddie_72 Posts: 719 Member
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    Most people mean well. Is the profile pic what you look like now? Meh. Don't look too skinny to me. You look great.
  • RllyGudTweetr
    RllyGudTweetr Posts: 2,019 Member
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    Unless your doctor, or the person you see in the mirror, is the one telling you that you need to gain or lose weight, just smile, nod, and ignore them.
  • sigsiddy
    sigsiddy Posts: 21 Member
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    I think it is sometimes a way for loved ones to check on you... kind of let you know they care and make sure that you are feeling good/happy/and healthyabout your weight. Granted it isnt the smartest way to start a conversation. You would think that they could just say something like " Hey you look so good, now you arent going to lose any more weight are you?"
    Some people however are just rude, nosy or jealous.

    What is important is how you feel about your body. If you feel good... dont let them get to you.
  • CookUpSomethingDelicious
    CookUpSomethingDelicious Posts: 20
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    I would always assume what some says is more about them than about you. Everyone has their own idea of what looks good. Consider the weight of the person commenting and their family and cultural background.

    Ultimately, someone who loves you will make a suggestion out of caring but then back down and support whatever you want to accomplish for yourself.

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