Friends say I am too skinny now

AvengersMom
AvengersMom Posts: 6
in Goal: Maintaining Weight
I should start by saying that when I was a kid and teenager I was really small. I was 18 before I went over 100 pounds and I'm only 5'2. Life happened and my normal resting weight was between 140 and 150 in my mid twenties. People snickered but no one called me "fat" to my face. Then through my second pregnancy I gained a ton of weight. After having my baby I was miserable at 185. Then I decided to change my life. I started working out and eating healthy. I joined my fitness pal at about 165 pounds. One year later I'm now 107 and the best shape of my life. I do a ton of cardio and weights and feel great. Problem is, people are now saying I'm "too skinny" and a good friend told me it looked like I was a cancer patient. Seriously. The profile pic of me is about 10 pounds ago but I look pretty much the same. I don't want to lose anymore weight, just keep toning and maintaining. How do you deal with the constant criticism. No one had anything to say when I was big, how is it ok to tear me down now that I'm fit?
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Replies

  • njean888
    njean888 Posts: 399 Member
    I think you look great! I'm 5'2 as well, my lowest was 111 and that was to thin on me but everyone carries weight differently. If you are happy then it really doesn't matter what anyone says. Great job to you for your weight loss.
  • unicornpoop
    unicornpoop Posts: 178 Member
    Ignore them. I would respond by saying you are completely healthy and you would never make remarks about their weight thick or thin.
  • MissLeelooDallas
    MissLeelooDallas Posts: 145 Member
    For some reason, I've found that people are more open to telling others they think they're "too skinny" as opposed to telling them they're "too fat". I've gotten the too skinny comment starting around when I was at 115 (I'm 5'3"). Currently, I'm 103 and trying to gain a couple of pounds back before returning to maintanence. I've gotten downright rude comments from co-workers, but luckily my real friends and my family and husband are supportive and encouraging. Even though it bothers me to hear the thoughtless comments like "eat something", "too skinny", "you're going to disappear", etc, I just have to chalk it up to those people not having good manners. You've worked hard to get to the weight you want! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise or discourage you! As long as you're happy and healthy, try not to worry about what everyone else thinks and says. There's no point in letting their senselessness or jealousy upset you.
  • Amanda_Gx6
    Amanda_Gx6 Posts: 320 Member
    Ask them if they would call a large person fat. I don't think people realize that its just as big of an insult being called "skinny" as it is to be called "fat" to some people. I would tell them how you feel, you are comfortable at your current size, you are confident and you have never felt better and that quite frankly if they have nothing positive to say than they should just keep their negative and insulting opinions to themselves.

    congrats and your friend should be ashamed by saying you "look like a cancer patient" that is such a nasty thing to say.
  • miscletters
    miscletters Posts: 1
    I think you look great now, but more importantly it's about how you feel. I went from 155 (after hip surgery) to 110 (after divorce) and people kept telling me I was too skinny then also even though I felt great. I had people I thought were friends who just wanted to be around me when I was miserable. When I was happy and going about my goals, they tried to tear me down as well. Be happy with who you are, enjoy your kids and if they have anything negative to say just respond with a Thank you :)
  • merecard
    merecard Posts: 56 Member
    Girls compete - WOMEN Empower.

    As long as you are healthy - eating right and getting active - people have to realize that everyone is different. Congratulations on your hard work and determination. inspiring!! Great job getting fit and being who you want to be, and being healthy and active for your kids.
  • misschoppo
    misschoppo Posts: 463 Member
    If you are happy with how you look and feel like you are physically fitter than you have ever been I would not pay too much attention to the comments that others make.

    I'm 5ft 3 and weigh around the 100-105lb mark subject to fluctuations. People rarely comment in a negative way as I'm small framed and I don't look like a stick, just slim. If I do get the odd "your to skinny" comment or "you need to put on some weight" at work I just shrug it off. To be honest I usually just smile but don't even respond since the comments only ever come from my significantly overweight and very inactive colleagues and so I tend not lose sleep over their opinions :D
  • ottermotorcycle
    ottermotorcycle Posts: 654 Member
    Because skinny - especially skinny on the borderline of "too skinny" - is considered desirable in our society, people think it's okay to comment when someone is thin without realizing that it's just rude to be picking on someone else's body, period. Plus... don't forget how many celebrities are rocking that "cancer patient" look. Sometimes people are jealous! How many times during your weight loss journey did you have the thought "If only everyone else was fatter"? :laugh:

    As long as you are healthy and your goals are healthy, ignore what other people have to say.
  • brewji
    brewji Posts: 752 Member
    Because skinny - especially skinny on the borderline of "too skinny" - is considered desirable in our society, people think it's okay to comment when someone is thin without realizing that it's just rude to be picking on someone else's body, period. Plus... don't forget how many celebrities are rocking that "cancer patient" look. Sometimes people are jealous! How many times during your weight loss journey did you have the thought "If only everyone else was fatter"? :laugh:

    As long as you are healthy and your goals are healthy, ignore what other people have to say.

    This. So much this.
  • Julesbait
    Julesbait Posts: 190 Member
    I'm starting to get this A LOT now. I'm 5'6"ish and 164, so it's not like I'm even "skinny" yet. Still 14 lbs from goal. But I'm getting tons of comments that I don't need to lose any more weight, I'm getting skinny, whatever. I finally figured out that the vast majority of these comments are coming from people who have only known me as fat. So I'm guessing it's just the shock of seeing "skinny" Jules as opposed to fat Jules they're used to.

    Whatever. People can have their opinions. As long as you know yourself and know your body and are happy with both, that's all that matters.
  • laineybz
    laineybz Posts: 704 Member
    I've had a few of these comments. Funny how the same people weren't as concerned for my health when I was obese.

    As long as you're happy and healthy, carry on. I am!
  • ChristineMB8
    ChristineMB8 Posts: 5
    You look great, you should be proud, and you should also understand (smiles) that it's probably jealousy. Regardless of who they are, some people just hate it when others are exceling and doing good in any way, because they don't have the guts to do the same in their lives, in whatever category it is. Be proud and don't listen. As long as you don't have bones protruding, I would say you are just hotter than them and they know it. ;) haha
  • coltsgirl311
    coltsgirl311 Posts: 226 Member
    I'm starting to get this A LOT now. I'm 5'6"ish and 164, so it's not like I'm even "skinny" yet. Still 14 lbs from goal. But I'm getting tons of comments that I don't need to lose any more weight, I'm getting skinny, whatever. I finally figured out that the vast majority of these comments are coming from people who have only known me as fat. So I'm guessing it's just the shock of seeing "skinny" Jules as opposed to fat Jules they're used to.

    Whatever. People can have their opinions. As long as you know yourself and know your body and are happy with both, that's all that matters.

    EXCELLENT point about the difference from the beginning to where you are now being part of the reason people think you are "too skinny". Some of my coworkers say things like that to me, "you're going to disappear", etc, and I just smile and say thanks.
  • fitnessqueen49
    fitnessqueen49 Posts: 3
    I think you look great. Those people who make those comments are probably wishing they could be your size.:smile:
  • KeepGoingKylene
    KeepGoingKylene Posts: 432 Member
    I'm starting to get this A LOT now. I'm 5'6"ish and 164, so it's not like I'm even "skinny" yet. Still 14 lbs from goal. But I'm getting tons of comments that I don't need to lose any more weight, I'm getting skinny, whatever. I finally figured out that the vast majority of these comments are coming from people who have only known me as fat. So I'm guessing it's just the shock of seeing "skinny" Jules as opposed to fat Jules they're used to.

    Whatever. People can have their opinions. As long as you know yourself and know your body and are happy with both, that's all that matters.

    This happens to me too, I am 5'3" and started at 270lbs, now at 188lbs and people can't believe I want to lose more. Um hello, how can I be done at 188lbs at 5'3". SMH
    People are just weird is all lol, as long as you are healthy and fit all is good! You look great btw. :drinker:
  • nxd10
    nxd10 Posts: 4,570 Member
    You look very healthy. Your BMI is okay? You feel good? You look good.

    It's hard for people to adjust to sudden weight loss. They will learn to see you as you look now and if (God forbid!) you gain 10 pounds in the future, they'll think you look chubby.

    Congratulations!
  • fast_eddie_72
    fast_eddie_72 Posts: 719 Member
    Most people mean well. Is the profile pic what you look like now? Meh. Don't look too skinny to me. You look great.
  • RllyGudTweetr
    RllyGudTweetr Posts: 2,019 Member
    Unless your doctor, or the person you see in the mirror, is the one telling you that you need to gain or lose weight, just smile, nod, and ignore them.
  • sigsiddy
    sigsiddy Posts: 21 Member
    I think it is sometimes a way for loved ones to check on you... kind of let you know they care and make sure that you are feeling good/happy/and healthyabout your weight. Granted it isnt the smartest way to start a conversation. You would think that they could just say something like " Hey you look so good, now you arent going to lose any more weight are you?"
    Some people however are just rude, nosy or jealous.

    What is important is how you feel about your body. If you feel good... dont let them get to you.
  • CookUpSomethingDelicious
    CookUpSomethingDelicious Posts: 20
    I would always assume what some says is more about them than about you. Everyone has their own idea of what looks good. Consider the weight of the person commenting and their family and cultural background.

    Ultimately, someone who loves you will make a suggestion out of caring but then back down and support whatever you want to accomplish for yourself.
  • amanda776
    amanda776 Posts: 50
    I'm less than 10 lbs away from my goal and I've been hearing those comments also. Just brush it off and put your head up high!
  • mufamuscles
    mufamuscles Posts: 57
    Some people criticize because they're jealous (I suspect this is the case here). Some are well-meaning but come off terribly (could also be the case here).

    Do what makes YOU happy. 5'2 and 107 is definitely slim, but not unhealthy in my opinion.
  • janupshaw
    janupshaw Posts: 205 Member
    I take all those comments ("skinnie minnie, you're a stick, aren't you done yet?") as compliments. I say thank you and move on. I think they get used to seeing us a certain way (overweight) and then it's a shocker when we get small.
  • jfauci
    jfauci Posts: 531 Member
    You look great! And, if you feel good, then just ignore them. I get those comments too. I just remind people that I have more energy now than I ever did and most importantly....I FEEL GREAT!!
  • GiGiBeans
    GiGiBeans Posts: 1,062 Member
    Sometimes people are genuinely concerned, especially in light of all the eating disorders. I use to lose a lot of weight to the point of being undereigjht when depressed, so it was good that people said something.

    Tell them you feel great and your doctor is happy about your weight.
  • einzweidrei
    einzweidrei Posts: 381 Member
    Ask them if they would call a large person fat.



    So true. I'm 5'9.25" and before I started losing weight, my BMI was at 24.9---I was just about to venture into overweight territory. No one really ever said anything, except ME. Now my BMI is around 19.2 and my entire family thinks I'm too thin and they have called me "creepy." They're all overweight/obese and I have never said, "Hey, Fatty McFatterson. Looking fatter today!" I know I don't have a small frame (I'm medium-sized) so my bones stick out a lot but that's just how my body is. I'm not underweight or unhealthy, I eat at maintenance (and probably more than they do on some days) and most importantly, I'm happier with my body now than ever before.
  • raindawg
    raindawg Posts: 348 Member
    I get that too. Someone told my wife my face is so skinny now I look sick. I ignore it. I'm down 40 lbs from my peak weight five years ago but still don't think of myself as sickly skinny. I mean look at my profile pic. That is current. It's the people that have known you during your "fat" years that say it. That's the lens they are using when they look at you and think your are sickly skinny. I guarantee strangers you meet, the thought doesn't even enter their mind. Just ignore the comments and know it's not true, they are just comparing you to what you looked like before.
  • condoleezachiapet
    condoleezachiapet Posts: 105
    People here have already covered the concept of the skinny bias, so basically: if you feel fantastic (and you do look fantastic), then you don't need to take any body criticism. When your body changes, your identity changes as well. Your friends might need time to adjust to your look.
    I'm 5'2 as well. My weight fluctuates between 95-105 lbs. Only my family really scrutinizes my body, but their comments have become so routine that I just phase it out. If you are self-aware and in control of your health, there's no need to take side comments seriously (unless your friends are doctors). :flowerforyou:
  • hilts1969
    hilts1969 Posts: 465 Member
    No kidding i hadn't seen a few friends for about 6 months and they thought i was dying, one lad said i looked like i had aids which was nice, the thing is if you lose a lot of weight you will look different, i weigh roughly what i did at 19 and no one thought i was dying then

    I had a bet with the guy who thought i had aids on our strength he lost big time which was nice especially after i patted his belly afterwards
  • kris727ta
    kris727ta Posts: 44 Member
    I have had the same responses. My favorite is "give that girl a sandwich!" I have good muscle definition and there still is enough fat on my body. When I get a comment like "you are too skinny" I usually respond "compared to who?" And it shuts them up because it is usually from somebody who has to lose weight or something to the like. If you KNOW you are fine. Then don't listen to anyone else.

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