Friends say I am too skinny now

I should start by saying that when I was a kid and teenager I was really small. I was 18 before I went over 100 pounds and I'm only 5'2. Life happened and my normal resting weight was between 140 and 150 in my mid twenties. People snickered but no one called me "fat" to my face. Then through my second pregnancy I gained a ton of weight. After having my baby I was miserable at 185. Then I decided to change my life. I started working out and eating healthy. I joined my fitness pal at about 165 pounds. One year later I'm now 107 and the best shape of my life. I do a ton of cardio and weights and feel great. Problem is, people are now saying I'm "too skinny" and a good friend told me it looked like I was a cancer patient. Seriously. The profile pic of me is about 10 pounds ago but I look pretty much the same. I don't want to lose anymore weight, just keep toning and maintaining. How do you deal with the constant criticism. No one had anything to say when I was big, how is it ok to tear me down now that I'm fit?

i guarentee that you dont look pretty much the same if the profile pic was 10 lbs ago and you are 5'2" - be careful - weight loss can be addicting and i was once "too skinny" I still thought I could lose 10 lbs...turns out everyone was right and I looked like skeletor.

There is a term used to describe this type of behaviour: Jealousy.

imagine the comments don't even exist

Here's a possible new perspective:
I've not always been fat, but most of the people in my life nowadays have only known me as rotund, squishy, whatever they might call it.
It is impossible for them to envision me as a smaller person. When I started losing at a level where they could actually see the weight leaving my face and body, some of them were uncomfortable looking at me. It's not because they can't understand that it's good or important or what I want, but rather that I simply do not look like the person they met and grew to love.

Just like when we partner up, and then a partner gains a lot of weight and we experience feelings of changing attraction and interest, such can happen with lost weight. We don't recognize the person in the comforting way we've grown accustomed to.

These things all have an adjustment period. I'm sure that it's more you look that way to them after them knowing you at a heavier weight.

I do think it's pretty terrible when people equate it to things like cancer patients. Those patients are so sickly and hurting so much, I don't think they should be casually equated to fat-gone-thin people. It's simply not the same thing... Unless you want to say, it's like fat was your cancer, diet and exercise your chemo and radiation, and you've reached remission, and hopefully your cure.

Have patience with them, as the words are likely rooted in love, if they are coming from people like your best friend.

Additionally... I think it's pretty cruddy to assume that everyone is "just jealous" or whatever when it comes to stuff like this. I mean, that's a pretty narcissistic attitude to take on.

Fact is, if they really do think you look too skinny, they aren't jealous. They are concerned. They are not saying "oh dang, I wish I looked like that" if they think you look like you're dying.

So if the comments bother you, ask them about it. Ask if they are giving you a hard time, or if they are truly concerned. Have an open mind and some perspective. Other people see things about us that we cannot.

You look great. Keep it up.

Additionally... I think it's pretty cruddy to assume that everyone is "just jealous" or whatever when it comes to stuff like this. I mean, that's a pretty narcissistic attitude to take on.

Fact is, if they really do think you look too skinny, they aren't jealous. They are concerned. They are not saying "oh dang, I wish I looked like that" if they think you look like you're dying.

So if the comments bother you, ask them about it. Ask if they are giving you a hard time, or if they are truly concerned. Have an open mind and some perspective. Other people see things about us that we cannot.

Amen, when people used to tell me this they were NOT jealous and i looked half dead and it doesnt help that I am also extremely pale naturally.... so yea... "ignore the haters" doesn't necesarily apply here and espeically if these are your friends who are supposed to love and care about you.

I got the "you're super skinny" and "Don't lose any more weight" comments a lot last year but haven't gotten them at all this year and I only gained 2lb! I just smile and walk away. Some people have actually said they were jealous of me in which case I commented them on something about their appearance that wasn't weight related. I kind of like/hate the weight related comments. Like because I want to feel good about myself and hate it because weight should not define a person.

I would just ignore these people. Its simply jealousy because you've done something they cant. You look fantastic & should be proud of your efforts.
The most important thing is that your Happy with the way you look & feel.

Are they people that only knew you as over weight? If so then it is just an adjustment for them mentally. Just smile and don't worry about it. Eventually they will forget what the old you even looked like

Best approach I've found is to ignore the comments. If you're happy with where you're at physically, then you don't need to justify that to others :flowerforyou: I get a lot of those comments too, "I can't hug you, you'll break," "why are you eating salad again?", "you must be anorexic if you feel the need to go to the gym-you're already thin," "you're obsessed," "you're becoming bony," the list goes on. Actually a girl I long considered my closest friend was the most vicious, and I finally realized she was simply acting out her own insecurities with her figure. So people voice comments like that for a variety of reasons, and chances are they aren't actually reflective of you personally.

Keep doin' yo thang OP, you look great :happy:

I have had the oh your soooo skinny all my life, and now im trying to gain. The other day a co-worker came up behind me and said "hi skinny" so i replied "hi fatty" i had just had enough! (i normally just smile). Her response oh sorry i just said it cos im jealous i didnt mean anything by it. People are thick, and they are jealous and some just like to tear down other people anyway they can. My son is short and he gets the oh your so little, Ive told him to say "i may be little but i will grow, aint much you can do about your face". Listen to those who love you for you. Those that really are concerned for your well being, mental and physical and listen to yourself. The rest tell them to go f**k themselves.

EXACTLY! You stopped her in her tracks!

FREAKING EXCELLENT!