Friends say I am too skinny now

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  • AvengersMom
    AvengersMom Posts: 6
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    I know. First world problems right ????
  • AvengersMom
    AvengersMom Posts: 6
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    Clearly you care lol!
  • taya919
    taya919 Posts: 3 Member
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    Who cares what people think? People would tell me the same thing when I reached my goal weight of 160 lbs. At 5"8 that is NOT a bony or skinny girl at all.

    When people tell you that you are too skinny, just smile and say "I'm sorry you feel that way but I love the way I look". That will cut them off really fast.
  • SoreTodayStrongTomorrow222
    SoreTodayStrongTomorrow222 Posts: 252 Member
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    I should start by saying that when I was a kid and teenager I was really small. I was 18 before I went over 100 pounds and I'm only 5'2. Life happened and my normal resting weight was between 140 and 150 in my mid twenties. People snickered but no one called me "fat" to my face. Then through my second pregnancy I gained a ton of weight. After having my baby I was miserable at 185. Then I decided to change my life. I started working out and eating healthy. I joined my fitness pal at about 165 pounds. One year later I'm now 107 and the best shape of my life. I do a ton of cardio and weights and feel great. Problem is, people are now saying I'm "too skinny" and a good friend told me it looked like I was a cancer patient. Seriously. The profile pic of me is about 10 pounds ago but I look pretty much the same. I don't want to lose anymore weight, just keep toning and maintaining. How do you deal with the constant criticism. No one had anything to say when I was big, how is it ok to tear me down now that I'm fit?

    i guarentee that you dont look pretty much the same if the profile pic was 10 lbs ago and you are 5'2" - be careful - weight loss can be addicting and i was once "too skinny" I still thought I could lose 10 lbs...turns out everyone was right and I looked like skeletor.
  • em1773
    em1773 Posts: 10
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    I see your profile pic and you look great. For being 5'2, 107 is a perfectly normal weight. Most likely, they are just upset with their own bodies, or are just worried because of the rate and amount of your loss, not necessarily your current state. You look great, and if you feel good, that's what matters.
  • gk03ub
    gk03ub Posts: 99 Member
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    There is a term used to describe this type of behaviour: Jealousy.
  • BurnBabyyyBurn
    BurnBabyyyBurn Posts: 79
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    Don't listen to them. You look great! You're petite and for your frame, that weight is just fine. Plus, weight is just a number right? So as long as you're happy and healthy, you shouldn't worry. A lot of your friends can be jealous and I bet they are not fit.
  • RaspberryKeytoneBoondoggle
    RaspberryKeytoneBoondoggle Posts: 1,349 Member
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    imagine the comments don't even exist
  • BurnBabyyyBurn
    BurnBabyyyBurn Posts: 79
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    Girls compete - WOMEN Empower.

    As long as you are healthy - eating right and getting active - people have to realize that everyone is different. Congratulations on your hard work and determination. inspiring!! Great job getting fit and being who you want to be, and being healthy and active for your kids.

    "Girls compete, women empower"

    I love that quote. So true!!!
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
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    Here's a possible new perspective:
    I've not always been fat, but most of the people in my life nowadays have only known me as rotund, squishy, whatever they might call it.
    It is impossible for them to envision me as a smaller person. When I started losing at a level where they could actually see the weight leaving my face and body, some of them were uncomfortable looking at me. It's not because they can't understand that it's good or important or what I want, but rather that I simply do not look like the person they met and grew to love.

    Just like when we partner up, and then a partner gains a lot of weight and we experience feelings of changing attraction and interest, such can happen with lost weight. We don't recognize the person in the comforting way we've grown accustomed to.

    These things all have an adjustment period. I'm sure that it's more you look that way to them after them knowing you at a heavier weight.

    I do think it's pretty terrible when people equate it to things like cancer patients. Those patients are so sickly and hurting so much, I don't think they should be casually equated to fat-gone-thin people. It's simply not the same thing... Unless you want to say, it's like fat was your cancer, diet and exercise your chemo and radiation, and you've reached remission, and hopefully your cure.

    Have patience with them, as the words are likely rooted in love, if they are coming from people like your best friend.
  • suremeansyes
    suremeansyes Posts: 962 Member
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    My husband is 5'10" and 165ish pounds, and he was also getting the "cancer patient" remarks after losing 100 pounds. I am trying to lose 10-15 pounds and it gets kind of discouraging when people ask why.

    I'm 5'2", 145 pounds...I can stand to drop a few.
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
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    Additionally... I think it's pretty cruddy to assume that everyone is "just jealous" or whatever when it comes to stuff like this. I mean, that's a pretty narcissistic attitude to take on.

    Fact is, if they really do think you look too skinny, they aren't jealous. They are concerned. They are not saying "oh dang, I wish I looked like that" if they think you look like you're dying.

    So if the comments bother you, ask them about it. Ask if they are giving you a hard time, or if they are truly concerned. Have an open mind and some perspective. Other people see things about us that we cannot.
  • AmyZ46
    AmyZ46 Posts: 694 Member
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    I'm starting to get this A LOT now. I'm 5'6"ish and 164, so it's not like I'm even "skinny" yet. Still 14 lbs from goal. But I'm getting tons of comments that I don't need to lose any more weight, I'm getting skinny, whatever. I finally figured out that the vast majority of these comments are coming from people who have only known me as fat. So I'm guessing it's just the shock of seeing "skinny" Jules as opposed to fat Jules they're used to.

    Whatever. People can have their opinions. As long as you know yourself and know your body and are happy with both, that's all that matters.

    This happens to me too, I am 5'3" and started at 270lbs, now at 188lbs and people can't believe I want to lose more. Um hello, how can I be done at 188lbs at 5'3". SMH
    People are just weird is all lol, as long as you are healthy and fit all is good! You look great btw. :drinker:

    wow we are almost twins at starting weight and height !!

    I get that too , people will say I hope you aren't planning on losing much more -this started at 200 lbs . I was like yes I am since I weigh 200 lbs I will lose at least 50 more and reevaluate .....

    It's crazy but I know how huge I looked so I guess I look normal now compared to that ?
    I'm in a 14 now - just think what they are going to say when I'm rocking a 6 ? which is my dream size :bigsmile:
  • angelo620
    angelo620 Posts: 5
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    You look great. Keep it up.
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
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    Yep i know the feeling, Ive been getting this mostly from family members recently
    I still dont know what to make of their comments because i think some of it is that there are not used to seeing me small because i was overweight for so long
    Just last night my brother turned to me in the gym and said you wouldnt want to lose anymore, we wont be able to see you
    I shrugged it off, but then he continued to say go away and eat a potatoe now that did bother me because i DO eat

    my boyfriend has also said he thinks ive lost too much and i would look better if i put on some weight

    I honestly dont see what they are referring to i think i look fine and definitely not too skinny , yes granted i wouldnt mind having a bit more shape esp in the glute area but im working on that

    Do i just put it down to them not being used to seeing me small?

    Unfortunately, your boyfriend's comments are probably valid and addressing his changing attraction levels to your new body. Hopefully he'll learn to adjust... But if you were a heavy person, and lost so much that you've lost your curves, he probably feels conflicted. Obviously, he started dating you when you were bigger, and may prefer the curvier women. This is not to say you should put on weight or change your goals... it's more to say that there may be some relationship fallout.
  • SoreTodayStrongTomorrow222
    SoreTodayStrongTomorrow222 Posts: 252 Member
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    Additionally... I think it's pretty cruddy to assume that everyone is "just jealous" or whatever when it comes to stuff like this. I mean, that's a pretty narcissistic attitude to take on.

    Fact is, if they really do think you look too skinny, they aren't jealous. They are concerned. They are not saying "oh dang, I wish I looked like that" if they think you look like you're dying.

    So if the comments bother you, ask them about it. Ask if they are giving you a hard time, or if they are truly concerned. Have an open mind and some perspective. Other people see things about us that we cannot.

    Amen, when people used to tell me this they were NOT jealous and i looked half dead and it doesnt help that I am also extremely pale naturally.... so yea... "ignore the haters" doesn't necesarily apply here and espeically if these are your friends who are supposed to love and care about you.
  • 2014myyear
    2014myyear Posts: 60 Member
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    I have had the oh your soooo skinny all my life, and now im trying to gain. The other day a co-worker came up behind me and said "hi skinny" so i replied "hi fatty" i had just had enough! (i normally just smile). Her response oh sorry i just said it cos im jealous i didnt mean anything by it. People are thick, and they are jealous and some just like to tear down other people anyway they can. My son is short and he gets the oh your so little, Ive told him to say "i may be little but i will grow, aint much you can do about your face". Listen to those who love you for you. Those that really are concerned for your well being, mental and physical and listen to yourself. The rest tell them to go f**k themselves.
  • Serah87
    Serah87 Posts: 5,481 Member
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    I get the same, "your to skinny, stop losing weight, your going to disappear", all the time!! :grumble:

    I am also 5'2 and 11 pounds away from my goal, 110 pounds.

    Op- you look great!! Ignore them, that's what I do now. :flowerforyou:
  • paulawatkins1974
    paulawatkins1974 Posts: 720 Member
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    I Cannot WAIT Until I'm at the place where people begin to tell me I'm too skinny! I have vowed to kiss the very first person who says that (and means it) :laugh: Try that next time you may freak them out so much they will shut up lol!
  • Rien5
    Rien5 Posts: 51 Member
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    I got the "you're super skinny" and "Don't lose any more weight" comments a lot last year but haven't gotten them at all this year and I only gained 2lb! I just smile and walk away. Some people have actually said they were jealous of me in which case I commented them on something about their appearance that wasn't weight related. I kind of like/hate the weight related comments. Like because I want to feel good about myself and hate it because weight should not define a person.

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