Husband eats what he wants/ I'm trying to lose weight

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It's hard when you don't have a support system at home. Looking for ppl that are in the same situation as me w. no support system at home or work. Looking to lose 25-35lbs. I know i can do it... i've lost 55lbs in the past but have had a hard time after having my son which is now 2. I can't seem to stick to any food plan especially on the wkend. Looking for a dedicated Buddy!
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Replies

  • JTick
    JTick Posts: 2,131 Member
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    Why do you feel your husband doesn't support you just because he's not overweight? Why does he need to watch what he eats if he's not trying to lose weight?
  • lavaughan69
    lavaughan69 Posts: 459 Member
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    Sorry, this might not be the supportive feedback you were looking for, but it shouldn't matter if your husband eats what he wants. He's not the one trying to change and lose weight, you are. I've lost nearly 50 lbs since last March and I did it by myself and I'm a mother of two teenage girls that also eat whatever they want. Are you the one making the meals and doing the shopping? If so, then just make healthy meals and make sure your portions are smaller than your husbands and fit in your calorie goals. When your husband reaches for a bag of chips, make yourself a bowl of popcorn or some other healthy snack. If you're truly dedicated to losing weight then what other people do shouldn't matter. You are in control of your own eating.
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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    You don't have to eat special foods to lose weight. It's all in the portion sizes.
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
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    Are you trying to restrict yourself too much?

    please open your food diary if you would.
  • marissafox31
    marissafox31 Posts: 2 Member
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    Based on the title of your post, I feel like I am in the same boat. My husband buys chips and cookies for snacks for work, and I am over here like "yummy protein shake!" I have, in the last year and a half, lost 50 lbs, but I have another 15 to go to reach my goal. This might be my hang up. I have a 5 and 2 year old who like to eat like dad. I try to encourage the healthy habits for everyone, but it's difficult to change a guy's mind after 25+ years of eating a certain way. My motivation?: That eventually they will see how happy I am being fit and be encouraged to try it themselves. One Day. :-) And keep up the habits around the house so my kids think snacking on fruits and veggies is more normal than always snacking on chips.
  • UsaJewels05
    UsaJewels05 Posts: 229 Member
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    Well I would not say that I have No support system. My family truly is supporting me the best they can, but they do not alter their eating habits if they do not have to.

    My husband is actually under weight and can pretty much eat whatever he wants and not gain. It gets frustrating, but if he does not want want I am eating he is on his own to make him something else, order something or have a bowl of cereal. I do not make 2 meals to fit him, I worry about me.

    You focus on you and let us be your support system. Tell your family your feelings and that this is what you want to do. Let them know that you do not want them pushing food on you and that if you go to gatherings you may bring your own food, or if you go out to eat pick a place you know you can eat healthy.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,932 Member
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    Men are pigs
  • starrylioness
    starrylioness Posts: 543 Member
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    My husband is incredibly supportive but he eats whatever he wants. He's slim and has a fast metabolism (and it just hasn't caught up with him yet though I'm always telling him it will eventually) so I have to always watch him eating stuff I can't even touch. My advice to you is do this for yourself. Not for him, not for anyone else. Focus on you. If I were in your shoes, I would ask him for emotional support and motivation but really, what he eats is really up to him and the same goes for you!

    Good luck!
  • SonicDeathMonkey80
    SonicDeathMonkey80 Posts: 4,489 Member
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    Since when does eating what you want equate to being unsupportive?

    Am I in bizarro land, or should I feel guilty because I run almost every day and eat like a pig?
  • H_Factor
    H_Factor Posts: 1,722 Member
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    You will find it easier to stick to a program if: (a) you take some time to write down the particular reasons you want to get healthier; (b) you pick a food plan that is not super restrictive and, for the most part, does not require you to eliminate your favorite foods (noting that fried foods would be tough to keep in the plan); and (c) you learn to stop eating when you are full, and not continue eating just because your mind tells you its yummy.

    You can find some of my (a) on my profile page. So, this is me applying (b) and (c)....I love pizza and don't plan to give it up. I know 2 decent sized pieces of cheese or veggie pizza are enough to fill me up AND generally fit within any calorie limitations. I know I will want more than 2 pieces sometimes, but that wanting more than 2 pieces is a mental thing and not a physical need to fill me up. I also know that there are healthier things than pizza so I don't eat it more than once a week (sometimes twice a week and sometimes not for a few weeks)....but I'm good knowing I don't eliminate pizza from my food options.

    Remember, this works best when you're not trying to follow an overly restrictive food plan because following an overly restrictive food plan for the long haul is not realistic. Instead, this is a lifestyle and in life, we eat foods we love and sometimes we over indulge. The key is to try to eat healthier food options, and eat indulgent foods in moderation.

    If you want to send me a FR, I'm cool with that.
  • beachlover317
    beachlover317 Posts: 2,848 Member
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    The key is inside you. Once you make the commitment to lose the weight - nothing and no one will be able to stop you. As others have said, it's about portion control more than what you eat. My husband doesn't need to lose weight. He's supportive of me, but I would never deny him what he wants. We eat the same meals - I just eat less. It works.
  • kimosabe1
    kimosabe1 Posts: 2,467 Member
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    This calorie counting has gone on for 2 years with me so I am not even bothered what he eats anymore. Do this for you and be stern.
  • JerseyGirlinTN
    JerseyGirlinTN Posts: 144 Member
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    Sorry, this might not be the supportive feedback you were looking for, but it shouldn't matter if your husband eats what he wants. He's not the one trying to change and lose weight, you are. I've lost nearly 50 lbs since last March and I did it by myself and I'm a mother of two teenage girls that also eat whatever they want. Are you the one making the meals and doing the shopping? If so, then just make healthy meals and make sure your portions are smaller than your husbands and fit in your calorie goals. When your husband reaches for a bag of chips, make yourself a bowl of popcorn or some other healthy snack. If you're truly dedicated to losing weight then what other people do shouldn't matter. You are in control of your own eating.

    ^^^^ This.

    Yeah, it would be great if everyone everywhere supported everything we did, but that's just not practical.

    Sometimes it sucks when the people you're closest to seem to be sabotaging you, but trust me, they're not. They're not the ones with the food problem, we are, and they should not be expected to change their lifestyles because we are. EVERY DAY you're going to be faced with these temptations and you're going to need to learn how to develop coping mechanisms. Working it out with your loved one seems to be the best way to me!
  • H_Factor
    H_Factor Posts: 1,722 Member
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    p.s....do not allow your husband's eating habits to be an excuse to your own healthy goals. and that's all it is....a stumbling block to I CAN. Keep in mind that YOU CAN make healthy choices regardless of what choices your husband makes. It comes down to how important it is TO YOU to get healthy...and making sure you know those reasons (see (a) in my previous post).

    The only reason you can't be healthy is because of your choices ;)
  • SillyC2
    SillyC2 Posts: 275 Member
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    Can you be more specific regarding what behaviors are unsupportive? Maybe we can offer some practical suggestions.


    My husband is six feet tall, and I'm 5'2" and he just plain "gets" to eat more than me. If he's eating what I'm eating, the guy is going to starve.
  • JerseyGirlinTN
    JerseyGirlinTN Posts: 144 Member
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    Since when does eating what you want equate to being unsupportive?

    Am I in bizarro land, or should I feel guilty because I run almost every day and eat like a pig?

    This is a great point.

    I do a lot of running, in addition to triathlons, so I eat lots of carbs according to the distances I run. My husband avoids carb, eating a low carb diet. Does make me insensitive and unsupportive? Nope! It just means I'm doing what's right for my health and body. Does it mean I'm sabotaging him when I bring home a loaf of bread? Nope! Just making my dinner!
  • AJinBirmingham
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    I feel your pain. I've been watching my weight since I was 8 years old and, even though I've been maintaining for years, I have to be vigilant with both my exercise and eating habits to hang on - and I weigh myself every day.

    My other half, however, all 188 lbs of him, is naturally lean and tight. He weighs himself "every so often" and controls his weight range (185 - 192 lbs) by "just eating a bit more, or a bit less sometimes." That's it - that's his whole plan - that's all he has to do.

    I just keep reminding myself that killing him would be wrong . . . and I'd miss him, so I've had to learn to live with it.
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,012 Member
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    I'll be your buddy.
  • Tangosgrandad
    Tangosgrandad Posts: 36 Member
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    Men are pigs

    :laugh: