first weigh – in; shock & horror

hi! I enjoyed reading your post and thank you for sharing with everyone.the greatest thing is that you have recognized the problem, even if you have done so before, you seem to be at a better realization. my father at his heaviest was 425lbs. he I did have gastric bypass which helped him lose 215lbs. sadly, I lost my daddy at the age of 48. he had a few heart attacks, as well as mini strokes before he passed away. he had a stent put in his heart less than a year before he passed due to his arteries being blocked. he was also diabetic, hypertensive, high cholesterol, suffered with sleep apnea, as well as high blood pressure. all of these conditions were linked directly to obesity and his way of eating. I love my daddy more than anything! I miss him so much; he was my best friend. he still is. even at my age of 31, a girl still needs her daddy. I was 10 weeks pregnant when he passed and it was the only thing that kept me going through his death.losing weight is extremely hard work and takes lots of dedication!! I am by no means obese currently. at my heaviest I was up to 185lbs. I eat a lot of protein and green leafy vegetables. I snack on peanuts, beef jerky, and occasionally cheese. I try to follow a low carb diet. this way of dieting and walking about 30 minutes 5 days a week reduced my weight to 135lbs. also when my dad was alive he was there for me through the weight loss process. I called him every day and we would talk about what we were eating, as he was living this lifestyle too. I strongly encourage you to get healthy and make a better life for yourself. you will feel so much better emotionally and physically. push through the pain. even walking 30-60 minutes a day will provide you with so much benefits.and find someone to talk to daily about what you're eating; it really helps. don't drink anything but water...that's tons of calories right there!! there's so many substitutions you can make!! I can even check this daily if you need some support. good luck with things.

I can imagine that looking ahead at this journey seems long and hard. It will be. But remember, it doesn't matter how long it will take you, because time passes anyway.

Now, what you are going to do will require tremendous emotional support. I honestly think, that if you can afford it, seek help from a psychologist or something. I don't mean this in an insulting way. I think you have a very tough road ahead and it could significantly benefit you. Weight gain carries a lot of issues and weight loss releases them and shoves them in your face. A shrink can help diffuse emotional bombs so you can move forward stronger.

Your story was very moving and I truly wish you all the strength needed to get back to your happy place.

All the best!

What goes up must come down. You're taking a step in the right direction now, and I forecast a record low in your future. Best wishes for a healthy transformation!

Well, this has been day one. Today I weighed myself for the first time in a long time. The magic number: 430.4 Lbs. Though at my heaviest before this particular weigh-in got close – 425, this is my absolute record high, and it's completely knocked me for six.

bxd: You are taking the first step. You are realizing what has happened and that it is not okay to live like this, trust me it takes a lot for people to take this first step. A 1,000 mile walk starts with a step

Not that I have a right to be surprised, as I've spent the last couple of months on the sofa, watching TV, reading, and scoffing like a pig. I tell myself I cannot exercise or do small basic things around the house because my legs and my back hurt all the time. I am allowing my very patient wife to wait on me hand and foot, and I know it's unfair.

bxd: You are very correct that it is unfair. We all have to come to a point sometimes in our lives where we take responsibility for doing these things. While she may agree to do these things for you, you should know they are not what you want. Do you really want to miss out on everything life has to offer because you can't get up and make small changes? I am not trying to be harsh but you have to be responsible for yourself. We spend the most time on this Earth with ourselves so get comfortable with being who you are and wanting to change and actually trying to change.

At some point I felt that I had to do something. I felt that I was getting too big, I noticed that I am more out of breath than ever, and I feel the sleep apnoea getting worse and worse. I am worried that it is already too late and that I should just wait for the inevitable. But I am not ready for the big sleep

My worst nightmare is leaving my wife a widow. I have to do something but it's a battle between two very unevenly matched sides: on side a we have my desire to live and to feel better, whereas on side B we have pain, inertia, a not inconsiderable dose of agoraphobia (keeping me from going outdoors) and the sheer terror of how bloody much work this is going to be.

But reading 430 on the scales probably did one good thing – it gave me a panic attack and enough willpower to resist a late-night munch. I will make an effort to go out for a walk tomorrow, phobias be dammed. I am not sure if this is suitable for the message boards, or if I am just whining to myself. I will copy this to my blog as well but I would be grateful for any remarks, positive or not. Be mean or harsh if you think it'll help.

bxd: I know exactly how living like this is. I suffer from OSA (Obstructive Sleep Apnea) and before I was seen by a doctor my life was a living hell at almost 300 pounds (270). It's a ****ing destructive cycle. You fear the fact that you're overweight, you know how it feels, feels like you can't change it, so you try to relax, you can't relax, you can't sleep, you have panic and nervous breakdowns, you start to feel like things will change but you slip back into your old ways when those feelings of fear and those emotions of being a failure hits you. Trust me...I know how you feel. You know what I did to get over it & start my journey to a better self? I quit giving a flying **** (rhymes with duck) about my feelings. I started taking action and soaking up my tears and started to be responsible for everything I did. Basically I "manned up" to my feelings and realized I was in this situation because I put myself here. Sure my mother & father didn't always make the best food choices and I didn't have an amazing childhood but at 22 years old I was very capable of making my own food, keeping track of my workouts and handling relationships. Realize those feelings of being afraid of going outside...they're just feelings...once you can beat the mental part of weight loss it's all smooth sailing from there. Plus I was also treated for my Sleep Apnea with a CPAP machine and that literally changed my life. When you don't sleep, you stress, when you stress you panic, when you panic you eat & stay inside and defeat yourself and it's a process that repeats itself every single day.

good night from a terrified Humpty Dumpty lookalike

Stop that. You are not a humpty dumty look-a-like. You are a strong individual with the will to survive and change. Small steps. Take a 15 minute walk & eat 200 less calories a day. I bet you in a week you'll drop at least 3-5 pounds at your weight. Believe in yourself, friend me if you wish.

Snudgie, you sound smart, funny, and capable.

Capable = you've already started to change what needs to be changed.

Smart and funny = please keep posting. Not only will I get my daily dose of "Wow, I want to be like him when I grow up," I will also be entertained. Because, you see, your weight loss and mental and physical health are really all about me. Didn't you know?

Welcome to MFP, and I've never written that before to anyone. Sincerely: welcome.

For most, the real fear of losing weight and getting healthy is basically going on a diet. But don't let that put a fear in you. Once you get going and learn about food and calories, it's all a breeze! It really is.

My biggest piece of advice is to not deprive yourself of foods you love. If they are really bad, make them over! If they can't be made over, limit them to once a week. I still set my pizza, my cakes, my takeaways. I just don't eat the whole package.

For exercise, just get up and walk. Walk one block and build upon that.

You've taken a huge step here, YOU...CAN...DO...THIS!!!

I combine My Fitness Pal with weekly Take Off Pounds Sensibly (TOPS). You might consider googling TOPS weight loss program and see if it might compliment your MFP. TOPS is a very inexpensive, safe and supportive organization.

You have made that first step and that was the most difficult one for me.

Best to you on your journey.

Shirley in rainy Oregon

You can do this! I started a 490lbs and have been under 250lbs for past 2.5 years.

It's not going to be easy, but you have your motivation in being there, and healthy for you wife, and not a burden on her. You need to hold onto that motivation, and remember it always.

The first things I started with were walking and watching what I was eating. I started out walking about a 1 mile a few times a week, and I won't lie, it hurt like hell at first. Then I started walking further and further, and more often, and it hurt less and less.

After about 6 months of walking, my wife got my a gym membership, and I started going to the gym. I would do cardio on the ellipse machine or bike or walk on their track and I started lifting weights. The weight lifting helps you maintain muscle mass while you are losing weight, which will help keep your metabolism up. After about 6 months, I was hitting the gym 5 days a week, and the weight was really coming off.

For the eating, I made some simple rules for myself. No seconds at meals, No desserts, and No snacks. I would eat 3 healthy decent sized meals a day, and that was it. It was tough at first, but I adjusted to it fairly quickly. I still ate out and went to functions, but I would substitute things to makes meals healthier: veggies instead of fries, salad instead of an appetizer, etc. One big mindset change that I made was the realization that food is fuel for body, nothing more. It doesn't make you happy, it doesn't bring joy or chase away your troubles.

All in all, it took me 26 months to lose 260lbs. I didn't put on the weight in a short amount of time, and I knew it wasn't going to come off in a short amount of time.

All the changes I made to lose the weight, I have stuck with in maintenance. I still eat much healthier than I used used, just more calories than when I was losing weight. I still hit the gym 5 days a week, and I run and bike with a couple guys during lunch at work.

All the hard work is more than worth than worth it though. The changes in my health (both physical and mental), energy level, and confidence have been amazing.

You can do this! You've taken the first step. Look at the success stories, there are people who started where you are starting and have lost 200 lbs, some even more.

Baby steps for the exercise, out of the house, down to the street and back in again is okay just for that first step. Walk in place in the house for 5 minutes, 3 or 4 times a day is moving more.

Again, you can do this!

please dont be so harsh on yourself. you will NEED to love yourself in order to change. NOT HATE YOURSELF.

You can do it. Baby Steps. Follow the recommended calorie intake on here and if you can go for little walks. You will soon be able to increase those walks and you will see the weight is just falling off you. Good luck on your journey.

Anything is possible.

Just remember: The secret to successful weight loss is simple: SELF LOVE.

I remember that feeling well!

You've taken the first step in losing weight.

Walk, lift weights, and ABOVE ALL; watch what you eat! Count your calories and make healthier choices! Protein coupled with veggies (green leafy veggies are best) are your best friend. If you have to eat starch brown rice, quinoa, or sweet potatoes are your best options!

Once I got to that point where I got scarred, it completely changed my mindset. For the first time I thought of this journey as long term life changes instead of jumping in for a quick fix. Start slow with baby steps and you will be amazed at how things start turning around for you. I haven't started doing much in the way of exercise yet, mainly because of breathing issues but as I lose the weight, that starts fixing itself and I'm gradually adding exercise in. There are a lot of helpful suggestions on here, just pick the ones that are suited to you since you know yourself the best. Above all, don't get discouraged. Plan this in terms of months and years instead of day to day weigh-ins. The picture section of the message boards is great inspiration as well. Good luck!.

Sometimes that panic and shock when you finally decide to face the number on the scale is what's needed to make the change.

You've got this. There will be lots of ups and downs along the way, the secret is to just keep going.

recognizing the problem is the first step. Remember, you didn't gain all of it at once, you're not going to lose it all at once. Hang in there!!

My biggest advice is to PLAN out your food. It sucks and it's a pain, but it's the best way I've found to stay on track. Just "winging it" every day always results in overeating, or having no calories left for dinner.