A question for people who've lost 150lbs+

The reason I'm asking is that I'm in the process of losing 211lbs. That's a lot of weight. I have always been fat, ever since childhood. I'm used to people staring, making rude comments, shouting things from their cars, etc. It's normal.

eh I am probably NOT the person to respond to this, as I haven't lost over 150 lb, I'm still in the obese category around 192 lb and have not had exactly the same type of issues as you describe. But I have kind of lost a whole person (114 lb lost since 2008).

I do kind of understand about insulating/protecting yourself with the weight. One major thing I've realized is that people pitied me a lot when I was heavier. I ranged between 260-307 at 5'8" for most of my adult life and was already over 200 lb in my teens, and I think I had a lot of girls & women who were super nice to me partly because I was soooo non-threatening to their competitive sides. For example, I had some half-a** friends through the years who clearly liked being the "skinny friend" and I was generally cute enough to not turn all the guys away in a club, but not thin or attractive enough to give them any competition. Harsh, but totally true. I also believe 100% that I was, in more than a few situations, treated differently on the job due to my size...but in a way that is kind of unexpected. I think less was expected of me because of my size. I think that I came across as such a people pleaser and was seen as that "sweet, fat lady" and therefore they didn't really expect me to be smart, strong, or have a lot of energy. I am all of those things. I started my current job wearing a size 18 which in my Midwestern town is pretty average, not that big for this area, and I can tell that they just expected more of me automatically - mentally and physically - then when I was much bigger. It was a bit weird, but I have come to get used to it. Also, even though I'm still just a 37 yr old spaz I get "checked out" all of the time by women...I don't mean lesbians (although that does happen and I am flattered) I mean women sizing me up, my body, my outfit, etc. It feels weird. I am not used to it!

Anyway. I do think it's awesome that you're already thinking about all of this stuff. There are so many people out there who are at a high weight and believe that all of their problems and insecurities will vanish and their lives will be perfect if they get to a "normal" or "healthy" weight. You are already ahead of the game in addressing these things.

If counseling is an option for you, I'd definitely recommend giving that a shot. Now OR later (or both)! I know in some situations it can be difficult and/or expensive to obtain. I've had counseling in the past couple of years and while it wasn't for weight-related reasons, usually all of a person's "issues" kinda mesh together and it can really help you out.

Good luck to you!!

SO AGREE! Iv'e lost close to 100 and I feel/notice how people see me as a threat now. I was once the fat, unfit kid that everyone was friends with. Now I am an issue. I am fit, I am a runner, I look a lot more sexier (handsome, whatever), and I am very driven to do things. This all happened in 2 years. IN those years I just passed up friends and family that are doing nothing with their lives. Now they realize how lazy they are and hate me for it.

You will go through many trial and tribulations in this process, guaranteed. As far as the massive weight loss, if you do it the right way, and lose the weight appropriately over several years, your mind will have time to keep up with your body's changes. It's the people that lose too much too quickly that one day snap, because they don't know who is in the mirror and they spiral out of control with self identity and revert back to old habits.

Great topic. Good luck in all your endeavors!

I can say this, not because of me but because of my ex-wife. She gained around 150 pounds while we were married and she was not skinny to start with. We were happy, I did not care how much she weighed... And then she had gastric by-pass surgery and lost 100+ pounds. She did not feel any better about herself, probably worse, and nothing I did helped. She then had everything she could have pierced pierced and got tattoos all over her body and began to flirt with other men and crave the self worth she thought she would gain by losing the weight. I eventually left because I could no longer take her attention whoring and now she is a hot wreck. I say all of that to say this. If you are ok with who you are and want to lose weight, good. If you think losing weight will make you become a different person, it will, but you will end up not liking that person in the long run. You need to love you more than you hate the weight.