The Challenge Of Being Honest

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  • Sreneesa
    Sreneesa Posts: 1,170 Member
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    tmi
  • PhearlessPhreaks
    PhearlessPhreaks Posts: 890 Member
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    Oh my gosh! Thank you so much for this post. I closed mine for the same reason. Having an open diary seems to be such a "thing"on here that I was feeling like I might be "doing it wrong". It is so reassuring to know that others fudged with their diaries when they're open. I've been doing much better since I closed mine.

    ^5! You're welcome :smile: I feel very grateful tonight for having connected with so many people over this. Keep on keepin' on!
  • alfiedn
    alfiedn Posts: 425 Member
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    I lied because I felt ashamed about all the sweets I eat (even if it fits in my calories). Also, my mom is my friend on this site...
  • ash8184
    ash8184 Posts: 701 Member
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    I know how you feel! One of the scariest parts of losing weight that nobody talks about is the fear - every day for me - that I'll wind up where I was before. It's not that gaining 200+lbs back would be quick, but it's that I won't have the willpower to stop myself from reverting to bad habits. I have made peace with the knowledge that every. single. day. will be a battle of willpower. As it becomes habit, it becomes easier, but as one gets closer to his goal, it takes even more strength, when he's probably already really worn out. Maintenance is a whole different issue, requiring all kinds of crazy willpower.

    Sorry this isn't really advice or more positive, but I know what you're going through. No matter which way you slice it, it's tough. Hang in there and keep up your awesome work :)
  • nofearbebravelive
    nofearbebravelive Posts: 49
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    My diary is private for the same reason. I go over every day but I log every bite and I really don't want opinions on it. Because for the first time, this journey into whatever it is, is only for me. I lost all the weight once and then I gained it back and there are tons of reasons why, but now, whatever will be will be. I track, I workout, I am happy. In the end maybe I will be fat, fit and happy, maybe not, but I would rather live a lift worth living than a life paranoid about every crumb of food. BTDT. I may never lose another pound, but I can lift more weight today than I could six weeks ago, I ran a 5k this morning, slowly, but I ran it and I can get faster and I can go further and I can lift more and punch and kick better and harder, to me, that is a better success than not eating when I am hungry because I am to scared to go over my calorie count. I went over my count forever at least now I can see exactly where I am at and if I am hungry I eat, if not, then well, now I can make a real conscious decision. That is worth the "weight"
  • tmt2003
    tmt2003 Posts: 176 Member
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    I closed my diary too. I log for no one but myself. As someone overweight my whole life, I'm very self conscious about others watching what I eat. All it took was a few well meaning comments about how I should sub grilled chicken instead of my chicken mcnuggets, try to eat more veggies, etc. First I found myself first logging "fake" food with same calorie content because I was embarrassed, then I got too lazy to do that and slowly stopped logging my treats.
    I also got tired of hearing, "wow I would be starving if I ate that little!!" Um I eat enough, I know what I'm doing. Thanks for the advice I did not ask for...

    Bottom line is, logging only works if you're honest. For some, sharing public helps them do that . It started giving me anxiety about being silently (or not so silently) judged by complete strangers and I stopped being honest.

    You have to do what works for you!
  • GodMomKim
    GodMomKim Posts: 3,646 Member
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    this is interesting, my log is honest, and private. If I felt I needed help on some aspect I might open it for a short time probably asking a friend to look at it and then re-closing it. Judging is done all the time by everyone; that is why the first 20 seconds you meet someone is so important, granted most of that judging is done silently and some judging is good; some is neutral and some is bad. In my bio-family all judging is bad and verbal - I have learned to self protect with privacy.

    I think the most interesting aspect of this healthy journey we are all on; is the side journeys we are taking to understand, confront and learn from the old habits that we are breaking and re-learning in a more positive way.
  • sunnyeuphoria
    sunnyeuphoria Posts: 85 Member
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    I keep mine open and am completely honest on it. I respond well to accountability... and it helps me to know that others who are going through the same struggles can get ideas from me, or can learn from my mistakes. I make notes on my food journal many days about why I ate what I did, or how I could improve just for myself. I have second thoughts sometimes about eating things because of how it will look on the journal... and many times that keeps me accountable. I have a good group of friends that ask me questions and make suggestions. Many read my notes and let me know they are going through the same thing, or how they handle things when it happens. Sometimes they let me know where they notice I could use improvements.
    Honestly, I am as affected by others opinions as anyone else, but at the same time, I know that I have a problem with food, and once I lose this weight I want it gone for good. I have to face my issues and get rid of them so that I don't regain what I am working so hard to lose. I don't want to fall back into old habits. I MUST form new habits- and if I can gain confidence and knowledge from people who are further along on that road than I am, and it helps me to be successful, then I am all for being brutally honest with my food. Me hiding behind my food face is how I got to 400 pounds. I am only fooling myself if I think no one can look at me and tell I eat too much. By hiding the journal, I would not be hiding that I overeat, just the details of what it includes. Everyone is different, and I can understand someone just needing to see for themselves what they are doing to themselves by getting a real snapshot of what they consume. I am just keeping mine open so that I can be open to any and all avenues of help and encouragement as I change my behaviors and fight this addiction. Theres a saying- " Addictions thrive in dark corners". I wanna keep mine in the light where it is exposed and can be battled.
  • PhearlessPhreaks
    PhearlessPhreaks Posts: 890 Member
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    I keep mine open and am completely honest on it. I respond well to accountability... and it helps me to know that others who are going through the same struggles can get ideas from me, or can learn from my mistakes. I make notes on my food journal many days about why I ate what I did, or how I could improve just for myself. I have second thoughts sometimes about eating things because of how it will look on the journal... and many times that keeps me accountable. I have a good group of friends that ask me questions and make suggestions. Many read my notes and let me know they are going through the same thing, or how they handle things when it happens. Sometimes they let me know where they notice I could use improvements.
    Honestly, I am as affected by others opinions as anyone else, but at the same time, I know that I have a problem with food, and once I lose this weight I want it gone for good. I have to face my issues and get rid of them so that I don't regain what I am working so hard to lose. I don't want to fall back into old habits. I MUST form new habits- and if I can gain confidence and knowledge from people who are further along on that road than I am, and it helps me to be successful, then I am all for being brutally honest with my food. Me hiding behind my food face is how I got to 400 pounds. I am only fooling myself if I think no one can look at me and tell I eat too much. By hiding the journal, I would not be hiding that I overeat, just the details of what it includes. Everyone is different, and I can understand someone just needing to see for themselves what they are doing to themselves by getting a real snapshot of what they consume. I am just keeping mine open so that I can be open to any and all avenues of help and encouragement as I change my behaviors and fight this addiction. Theres a saying- " Addictions thrive in dark corners". I wanna keep mine in the light where it is exposed and can be battled.

    I wish that worked for me; your rationale is why I originally had my diary open. Unfortunately, I found that my need to 'save face' trumps public accountability. But I'm glad it works for you!

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