Question for those using dating sites....

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  • andreahanlon
    andreahanlon Posts: 263 Member
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  • andreahanlon
    andreahanlon Posts: 263 Member
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    I'm trying to reply to HealthyChanges, but it's not working ....

    Anyway, I would perfer to date in real life instead of online, but it's rather difficult to find single professional men when living in a small town. I've been lucky enough to find a good job in my hometown, but we are know for having the "brain drain" where people move away for college and don't come back. :( So online dating is something worth trying!
  • SweetPandora
    SweetPandora Posts: 660 Member
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    I always replied to messages even if I wasn't interested. It was always flattering to know that someone took an interest in my profile and took the time to message me so I thought it was only proper to acknowledge it with a response. If they pursued it then I ignored them.

    I met my wonderful boyfriend of 4 years on an alternative dating site!

    Best of luck!

    Karen
  • mrmarius
    mrmarius Posts: 1,802 Member
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    a msg like never in a million years would you have a shot with me usually works lol
  • missouri_rain
    missouri_rain Posts: 560 Member
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    a msg like never in a million years would you have a shot with me usually works lol



    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
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    MFP is the closest thing to a dating site I've ever been on. I haven't gotten a damn proposition yet. What's up? I'm not pretty enough? I want to feel pretty.
  • porcelain_doll
    porcelain_doll Posts: 1,005 Member
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    MFP is the closest thing to a dating site I've ever been on. I haven't gotten a damn proposition yet. What's up? I'm not pretty enough? I want to feel pretty.
    LOL!
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
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    I never gave a "thanx but no thanx" because that usually ended in both of us being offended...just ignore them...or send them to a friend. I met my fiance on POF, after being on it for less than a year. Trust me, guard yourself, be picky, they can't see you and they can't stalk you.
  • just4peachy
    just4peachy Posts: 594 Member
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    I ignored a lot and it worked with all of them but one. He was persistent and annoying almost to the point of blocking him. I finally relented to talking to him and I'm really glad I did, we've been together 3 years now.
    Makes me wonder how many other great guys I ignored for a silly reason.
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
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    I have a hard enough time replying to the ones that actualy strike my fancy much less the ones that don't.
  • porcelain_doll
    porcelain_doll Posts: 1,005 Member
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    I'll admit, after sending messages to two men this past week on the site I am using, and hearing nothing back from either one (yet), I couldn't help but wonder if they had purposely not written back, or if they just hadn't had a chance, or hadn't been on or whatever. But I definitely wouldn't be weird and continue writing to them trying to get an answer. I can take a hint. But I can't help but wonder why.
  • doublexhelix
    doublexhelix Posts: 199 Member
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    if they seem like a sketchy guy, then i usually just ignore them. but if they seem like a decent person, but for whatever reason i am not interested, i will let them know.
  • MzBug
    MzBug Posts: 2,173 Member
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    It never hurts to be nice enough to say thanks for the interest, but not at this time. I did that with a guy, took him months to talk me into going out with him. Our first date he fixed dinner for me....5 years later we are living in a house we own together. Best move I ever made.
  • mr_ashley
    mr_ashley Posts: 46
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    I don't have any experience dating online, but I am curious to know if the people who've done it think it's easier or harder than dating in real time? The reason I ask is, to me, being a dude, it just seems like women put up a pretty big wall around them these days. In a way, I see why they do it: it seems like every guy I know thinks he's JFK Jr and women must just be dying to meet him. So you have all these single guys who think they are God's gift, and a smaller and smaller pool of women they feel are "adequate" for their needs. In the online world, it seems like you'd never get past what someone looks like in a small, pixalated detail.

    Hope my question doesn't offend! I don't have any preconceived notions about people who date online, I just don't have any experience and wonder how that world differs from any other!
  • UltimateLover
    UltimateLover Posts: 306 Member
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    Hey,

    I just recently started using a dating site. I don't post a picture of me up because I'm the type of person that would rather base a person off personality rather than looks. I get to know someone's personality before I will send them a pic because I'd rather the person not talk to me because of my personality rather than how I look. So far, it has landed me one date and I'm hoping that it'll be more with this person but we'll have to wait and see.

    I hope that helps a bit :D
  • doublexhelix
    doublexhelix Posts: 199 Member
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    I don't have any experience dating online, but I am curious to know if the people who've done it think it's easier or harder than dating in real time? The reason I ask is, to me, being a dude, it just seems like women put up a pretty big wall around them these days. In a way, I see why they do it: it seems like every guy I know thinks he's JFK Jr and women must just be dying to meet him. So you have all these single guys who think they are God's gift, and a smaller and smaller pool of women they feel are "adequate" for their needs. In the online world, it seems like you'd never get past what someone looks like in a small, pixalated detail.

    Hope my question doesn't offend! I don't have any preconceived notions about people who date online, I just don't have any experience and wonder how that world differs from any other!

    i hate to admit it, but i think it's easier. when you first talk to someone on a dating site, you KNOW they are at interested on some level, where as in real life you have to guess until you feel comfortable bringing it up (which is hard and scary, but i have done it before)
  • meagalayne
    meagalayne Posts: 3,382 Member
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    I met my current partner online and couldn't be happier...

    Online dating sites are a totally different experience, ashleyrenfroe - they are much, much easier for the initial "hey, i'm intereted" portion, but if you chat or private message for too long (more than a day or two, IMO) meeting in person can be a huge let down. I never chatted more than once or twice before meeting in person, as a general rule, because I didn't want to waste my time with someone I wasn't potentially interested in.

    I find that if you are a confident, outgoing person and comfortable having a drink/date with a complete stranger in a safe, public space, it's a really great way to meet all kinds of people you wouldn't otherwise meet. It's just important that you realize you may end up on some really awful dates with socially inept types from time to time. But most of us are normies :tongue: hahaha

    As for the OP - Message back a thanks but no thanks. It's the least you can do to repay the compliment :wink:
  • AdventureVia
    AdventureVia Posts: 84 Member
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    I've met tons of cool girls from responding to messages of girls I wasn't interested in dating. I've found that a lot of people on dating sites are there for some of the same reasons I am, we're all kind of just lonely. We might go out for a date or two but if things aren't working I always keep things light and friendly so the gears just stick in friend zone.

    I've also had some crazy one night stands from online dating but those too have led to friendships.

    I try to always reply because I feel so bad when I don't get a reply back. I'm cool damnit! Don't ignore me! :p You don't have to love me forever but at least acknowledge my existence!

    Unless there is no picture. I don't reply to pictureless profiles. I did it once and it ended up being a gay guy who wanted to give me a bj. Not quite my scene.

    I'd love for advice on my profile though! Send me a message on there ladies if you think I'm overdoing anything or using poor grammar or if you're an infp/j in the mid 20's :p
    http://www.okcupid.com/profile/heythejake
  • doublexhelix
    doublexhelix Posts: 199 Member
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    I've met tons of cool girls from responding to messages of girls I wasn't interested in dating. I've found that a lot of people on dating sites are there for some of the same reasons I am, we're all kind of just lonely. We might go out for a date or two but if things aren't working I always keep things light and friendly so the gears just stick in friend zone.

    I've also had some crazy one night stands from online dating but those too have led to friendships.

    I try to always reply because I feel so bad when I don't get a reply back. I'm cool damnit! Don't ignore me! :p You don't have to love me forever but at least acknowledge my existence!

    Unless there is no picture. I don't reply to pictureless profiles. I did it once and it ended up being a gay guy who wanted to give me a bj. Not quite my scene.

    I'd love for advice on my profile though! Send me a message on there ladies if you think I'm overdoing anything or using poor grammar or if you're an infp/j in the mid 20's :p
    http://www.okcupid.com/profile/heythejake

    it's nice to see another ENFP :D
    i like your profile for the most part, i feel like i know you as a person after reading it, which is rare to find in a dating profile. you come across as a positive person, which is a very good thing. your pictures are attractive too, i think :P
    the only off putting thing is the part where you speak in the third person. it is probably just me, but i've just always find it a little awkward when someone refers to themself in the third person.


    if anyone want's to give me advice on mine, here it is http://www.okcupid.com/profile/gypsyxlove
  • JLeeAlton
    JLeeAlton Posts: 311
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    I ignored anyone I didn't like or didn't feel there was a match. The only time I did.. I got this long rant and rave and never wanted that again. I too have my future husband on a site (Getting married Apriil 7th). I did go on numerous dates in the time I was on some sites cause I wanted to see how the person was in public and in person. It took 6 months but I found a wonderful man!

    Only advice I have is the best experience I had on a site was Match.com. The others, Eharmony, OkCupid, and POF included many sketchy men and those sites just put me off. Not to say someone can not have luck on those ones, just my experiences were bleh.

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