Things People Say When You've Lost Weight

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  • mandasalem
    mandasalem Posts: 346 Member
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    I've gotten the "Don't disappear on us!" *eye roll*

    Worst of all is my husband's grandmother, though, who never once commented on my weight before I lost, but now asks me every time I see her if I'm keeping it off, if I'm staying on the scale, if I know that I need to "zip it up" if I see the scale going up a pound or two.

    AUUUUGH.
  • ErinGiam
    ErinGiam Posts: 396 Member
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    YES! We just did a weight loss challenge at work and people always said, "oh, you don't need to lose any weight! Have you seen me naked? LOL
  • stealthq
    stealthq Posts: 4,298 Member
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    I totally get how irritating comments beyond "wow, you look great!" can be...

    However...

    These comments always come from an envious or sad place. Someone sees your accomplishment and it makes them feel like they are inadequate for not having done it themselves. In some people, this results in a snarky comment about "wasting away" or diet pills, others will keep quiet, and a few will be inspired to lose weight or become healthier themselves. Remember, just because someone is thin doesn't mean they will automatically rejoice in your transformation...maybe they thought being thinner was the only thing they were better than you at...and now, that's gone.

    Keeping this in mind when people make intrusive or rude comments can help keep your sanity :)

    No. They don't always come from an envious or sad place.

    They can also come from people who are genuinely trying to compliment you, but don't understand that telling someone they are 'a skinny minnie' or 'wasting away' can make you feel badly about yourself. People who've never been in the position to be told that are generally not going to understand how it could possibly be a bad thing. And some people who have been in that position don't view it as a bad thing and don't understand why anyone would.
  • Pirate_chick
    Pirate_chick Posts: 1,216 Member
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    I hate it when people say things about me being "skinny." Um, I'm still "obese" according to the BMI scale and am still 30+ pounds from a "healthy" weight for my height. I'm definitely not skinny. Have I lost a lot of weight? Do I look a lot better than I did before? Am I healthier and happier now? All yes, but I'm not skinny by any stretch of the imagination.

    I usually just respond with thanks, but I still have a long way to go. I don't want anyone to think that I'm perceiving myself as "done." I won't be "done" ever. This is just how I live now.

    OMG ME TOO! I HATE it!!!! Hate, Hate, HATE it!!
  • Yoles79
    Yoles79 Posts: 36 Member
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    I agree. The most annoying for me is when they tell you that you do not need to loose anymore. How would they know.
  • DamianaKitten
    DamianaKitten Posts: 479 Member
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    "You're not overweight! Why would you want to lose weight??"

    :huh:

    I'm 5'6" and weight 230lbs. I am overweight. I want to lose weight because it would please me to not have sore knees from a short walk. Bugger off.
  • aem135
    aem135 Posts: 44
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    I know what you mean. :(

    My co-workers tell me all the time that I look good and am losing too much or barely eat!!!!!
    I eat healthy homemade meals that I bring to work for breakfast/lunch/snacks and exercise. I'm so proud of my 6lbs loss and progress that I've been making that focusing on the success rather then their comments and opinions is what makes it easier for me to not let what they say get to me!!!!!!!!! Stay strong!!!!!!!!!!
  • psmd
    psmd Posts: 764 Member
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    This is so interesting...I've gotten so many of these comments too...
    "you shrink every time I see you"
    "you've lost so much weight"
    "stop losing weight, you look fine"
    "you don't need to lose more weight"
    "what are you doing?"
    Something to the effect of "you're wasting away"
    "you look skinny" (with an annoyed look)

    Funny thing is I take ALL of these as compliments...I guess I never considered them rude...maybe I overlooked that but oh well. It's nice to hear, even if it's from a place of jealousy, makes me even more motivated!
  • belanna5
    belanna5 Posts: 85 Member
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    I lost almost 50 lb years ago and I've been the same weight since.
    I've been spending my summer holidays in the same place all my life. There are people who see me every year and every time they say 'OMG, you lost a lot of weight!'
    Yes, I did, years ago. I guess the image they have of me will be forever the overweight girl the met years ago.
    This year I decided that I will answer with 'No, on the contrary I put on weigth' even if it's not real, just to see their face.
  • beltrone
    beltrone Posts: 19 Member
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    IMO everyone is overreacting, weight gain and weight loss was a journey for me. I have lost weight not for others compliments but to prove my iron will and to be shameless in front of any kind of difficult life situation. It was a spiritual journey for me. Controlling your mind rewards in many ways. I am not doing this for others but for my own well being. It taught me patience, tolerance and perseverance. I look way younger and my skin glows, my wrinkles faded due to my state of mind. I am experiencing utter bliss.
  • Lady_Clarington
    Lady_Clarington Posts: 76 Member
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    I've not lost a lot so don't get comments as you can't really tell but does anyone else find that the only people who want to give you "advice" on dieting are the ones who are obese ones who you know couldn't run up a flight of stairs much less put down the cake and go for a walk?

    My mother is a prime example. She's short, diabetic and VERY fat. I'm not sure how far up the obese chart she is but its not good. We've tried to support her in weight loss, show our concern but she seems happy with her blanket of fat and of course we can't force her to exercise.
    Where does her own weight problem come from? She has always blamed it on "baby fat". Mother dearest your baby boy is nearly 27 I don't think that excuse works any more.

    BUT
    She is the first to point out that I'm fat (normally followed by her then spending the rest of the day offering me chocolate - you know to really cement a healthy relationship with food), that I'll get diabetes, that if I don't loose the weight before I'm 30 I'll be "stuck" with it just like she is with hers, that I need to exercise more, that perhaps I should have a week where I just eat soup to "kick start" my body into loosing weight, that I need to try Atkins or eating blueberries, what ever latest fad is on the day time television....
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    I'm always surprised at how many people take innocuous comments as deliberate attempts to undermine their progress.

    Mostly, people are just trying to be polite, albeit in a somewhat socially awkward way. I mean no-one knows the exact right thing to say 100% of the time, especially when you're dealing with people who are prone to taking stuff the wrong way.

    Comments like "are you sick?" - well that's mostly because if people didn't know you were trying to lose weight and then they see you and you're much thinner, they don't know why or how you got thinner, and they don't want to be the d-bag who congratulates someone on their weight loss when that person is ill with something serious and didn't want to lose the weight.

    Yes there are people who genuinely feel threatened by others' success and have this need to put others down for it, but they're very much in the minority compared to people who are just trying to be polite and don't know your personal preference as to how you like to be complimented and which compliments you would perceive as backhanded. And even among insecure people who feel threatened by others success, mostly their comments are 100% about themselves, and are them kidding themselves about reality, not them attempting to bring you down. Like the example someone gave of an obese family member who tried and failed to lose weight telling the family they're afraid you have an eating disorder... well if that person were to accept the truth that you lost weight through going to the gym and watching your portion sizes, then they'd also have to accept the reality that their own failure is due to them not doing the right things or not working hard enough, and that's a truth they don't want to accept so they kid themselves that they're doing everything they possibly can and you must be doing something wrong to have lost all that weight... i.e. it's all about kidding themselves, not about trying to undermine you. And the same with people not wanting to believe your success is due to hard work and portion control and asking you what pill or fad you did that worked.... it's 100% about them and 0% about you. So that leaves very few people who are actually attempting to undermine your progress. Most people really are not that b****y.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    This is so interesting...I've gotten so many of these comments too...
    "you shrink every time I see you"
    "you've lost so much weight"
    "stop losing weight, you look fine"
    "you don't need to lose more weight"
    "what are you doing?"
    Something to the effect of "you're wasting away"
    "you look skinny" (with an annoyed look)

    Funny thing is I take ALL of these as compliments...I guess I never considered them rude...maybe I overlooked that but oh well. It's nice to hear, even if it's from a place of jealousy, makes me even more motivated!

    I think you're right to take them as compliments. I think people only make themselves miserable if they see veiled insults or sabotage in compliments, when usually it's just people trying to be nice and say *something* even if they don't know exactly what to say.

    Even if it was intended as a backhanded compliment, smiling and saying "thanks!" is the best response to that because then their attempt to hurt you failed. So taking stuff as genuine compliments is a win-win situation.
  • sarahslim100
    sarahslim100 Posts: 485 Member
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    Last time I got, "Looking good!! you've lost weight". 6 months after I saw someone previously. I only lost 3 kg between then, but it must have showed!!
  • SpicesOfLife
    SpicesOfLife Posts: 290 Member
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    I'm always surprised at how many people take innocuous comments as deliberate attempts to undermine their progress.

    Mostly, people are just trying to be polite, albeit in a somewhat socially awkward way. I mean no-one knows the exact right thing to say 100% of the time, especially when you're dealing with people who are prone to taking stuff the wrong way.

    Comments like "are you sick?" - well that's mostly because if people didn't know you were trying to lose weight and then they see you and you're much thinner, they don't know why or how you got thinner, and they don't want to be the d-bag who congratulates someone on their weight loss when that person is ill with something serious and didn't want to lose the weight.

    Yes there are people who genuinely feel threatened by others' success and have this need to put others down for it, but they're very much in the minority compared to people who are just trying to be polite and don't know your personal preference as to how you like to be complimented and which compliments you would perceive as backhanded. And even among insecure people who feel threatened by others success, mostly their comments are 100% about themselves, and are them kidding themselves about reality, not them attempting to bring you down. Like the example someone gave of an obese family member who tried and failed to lose weight telling the family they're afraid you have an eating disorder... well if that person were to accept the truth that you lost weight through going to the gym and watching your portion sizes, then they'd also have to accept the reality that their own failure is due to them not doing the right things or not working hard enough, and that's a truth they don't want to accept so they kid themselves that they're doing everything they possibly can and you must be doing something wrong to have lost all that weight... i.e. it's all about kidding themselves, not about trying to undermine you. And the same with people not wanting to believe your success is due to hard work and portion control and asking you what pill or fad you did that worked.... it's 100% about them and 0% about you. So that leaves very few people who are actually attempting to undermine your progress. Most people really are not that b****y.

    much truth in this insightful post. :)
  • katznkt
    katznkt Posts: 320 Member
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    Lately I'm being asked jokingly if I'm a new girl. Since I've worked in the same department for 3 years it is kind of annoying.

    But I get what they are saying and appreciate that to them I must look really different.
  • estaticaa
    estaticaa Posts: 67 Member
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    I'm always surprised at how many people take innocuous comments as deliberate attempts to undermine their progress.

    Mostly, people are just trying to be polite, albeit in a somewhat socially awkward way. I mean no-one knows the exact right thing to say 100% of the time, especially when you're dealing with people who are prone to taking stuff the wrong way.

    Comments like "are you sick?" - well that's mostly because if people didn't know you were trying to lose weight and then they see you and you're much thinner, they don't know why or how you got thinner, and they don't want to be the d-bag who congratulates someone on their weight loss when that person is ill with something serious and didn't want to lose the weight.

    Yes there are people who genuinely feel threatened by others' success and have this need to put others down for it, but they're very much in the minority compared to people who are just trying to be polite and don't know your personal preference as to how you like to be complimented and which compliments you would perceive as backhanded. And even among insecure people who feel threatened by others success, mostly their comments are 100% about themselves, and are them kidding themselves about reality, not them attempting to bring you down. Like the example someone gave of an obese family member who tried and failed to lose weight telling the family they're afraid you have an eating disorder... well if that person were to accept the truth that you lost weight through going to the gym and watching your portion sizes, then they'd also have to accept the reality that their own failure is due to them not doing the right things or not working hard enough, and that's a truth they don't want to accept so they kid themselves that they're doing everything they possibly can and you must be doing something wrong to have lost all that weight... i.e. it's all about kidding themselves, not about trying to undermine you. And the same with people not wanting to believe your success is due to hard work and portion control and asking you what pill or fad you did that worked.... it's 100% about them and 0% about you. So that leaves very few people who are actually attempting to undermine your progress. Most people really are not that b****y.

    Love, love this. I used to get really annoyed when I first started to control my portions and my parents would worry that I could develop an eating disorder in the long run. Mind you, they're both obese and choose to believe their extra weight is merely a biological thing, a natural progression as they get older. They don't own up their own mistakes, so they prefer to think I'm the one starving myself. I know they love me and wish me to be healthy, so it's not as annoying as it used to be. I get that. It's not about me and my choices, it's about them not wanting to face reality. Now that I've lost 5kg and am in much better shape, they're starting to actually listen to what I say about their food portions. They haven't made any major changes yet, but at least they stopped criticizing me as much and I've noticed they're eating a bit less than they used to.
  • SpicesOfLife
    SpicesOfLife Posts: 290 Member
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    Love, love this. I used to get really annoyed when I first started to control my portions and my parents would worry that I could develop an eating disorder in the long run. Mind you, they're both obese and choose to believe their extra weight is merely a biological thing, a natural progression as they get older. They don't own up their own mistakes, so they prefer to think I'm the one starving myself. I know they love me and wish me to be healthy, so it's not as annoying as it used to be. I get that. It's not about me and my choices, it's about them not wanting to face reality. Now that I've lost 5kg and am in much better shape, they're starting to actually listen to what I say about their food portions. They haven't made any major changes yet, but at least they stopped criticizing me as much and I've noticed they're eating a bit less than they used to.

    being a good example is the best we can do. people around us are bound to start thinking. :)
  • everforever8
    everforever8 Posts: 16 Member
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    The one thing that I find interesting and slightly amusing was when people asked me what I did (back when I dropped almost 100 pounds) and I tell them-"eat right, exercise" their face would just drop with disappointment because they were expecting me to say "Oh I did X cleanse" or "took X pills". People assume that you took an 'easy' route, when really you just did what you're supposed to: Eat right and work your *kitten* off
  • rocketblaster
    rocketblaster Posts: 50 Member
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    My brother-in-law said, "did you get a tapeworm or something?" I actually thought it was one of the best compliments I've received :) It should be noted he does really enjoy teasing me - but I felt complimented by his acknowledgement of my weight loss. I do agree that people will tell you that you are "wasting away" because on come level you look good, but they don't necessarily want you to look too much better:)

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