Geting your kids on track..

I mean, she's six years old. I think it's great that you want to teach her good health habits, but I would go with more of a behavioral approach because I don't know if she's really old enough to understand your reasoning or motivation when asking her to make these changes. You're the parent, so really you're in control of whether she gets a snack after dinner or whether she gets chips at school. The problem a lot of parents have is that they want to avoid a fuss, so they give in whenever their children pester them for something, like a candy bar at the grocery store. In doing so, you're just teaching the child that they only have to yell and scream in order to get what they want. So I would recommend that until she's older, you just decide how often you're going to give her treats and what you're going to give her and try your best to stick to it. She should not have direct access to whatever treats she wants. You may have to put up with a few tantrums in the process, but that's part of being a parent, right?

On the other hand, though, I wouldn't worry too much about her weight if she's just "borderline" as you said. I personally don't think kids should be required to strictly track their diet and exercise unless something has really gone wrong, and she really is very young.

Good luck!

this.
you'll end up giving her an eating disorder if you keep drumming into her that she needs to lose weight!

discuss the importance of eating healthy foods and a balanced diet because it will make her heart and her brain and her lungs work better, and will help her run about and play games, and will make her feel happier.

don't just tell her "you need to lose weight because being overweight is bad"
the world is already telling her that

you're in charge of what she eats, just feed her healthily and don't push your own weight loss obsession onto someone so young!

I am reading through these posts and I too see my oldest daughter of 10 struggling with her weight. She starting gaining at the age of 6 because my mother in law who watches her after school gives her whatever she wants to eat despite us asking her not to. The result is my daughter getting picked on at school because she has a big belly. Now my daughter dances 4 nights a week, and does not eat awful, but she does like to eat. ALL of her weight is in her belly. I was forced to talk to her to calm her fears about her classmates comments. It's a rough world we live in. I tried to avoid the weight topic like a plague, but she brought it up so I had to discuss it with her. I really try to focus on being healthy and being active. Even her school did an evaluation on her and deemed her overweight because of her weight and height. Sometimes it's not so easy to avoid the topic. My daughter is no way on a diet, but we discuss healthy versus unhealthy so that she is aware of what to eat and what not to eat. This is such a sensitive topic but we moms are trying to do the best we can to keep our kids healthy and happy.

What I like to do is wash up grapes and set them on the counter as an easy accessible snack or have bananas handy. I have 2 boys and I know what you mean when they are grabbing snacks 5 minutes after they just ate dinner!! I tell them they can have a banana, yogurt, or another fruit. If they say no then I know they really aren't that hungry. Another good way to keep her on track is to avoid soda and sugary juices. Opt for ones that are 100% fruit juice instead of say Kool-Aid. My boys are 7 and 4 and have tried soda once when we were doing an experiment and they thought it was awful and never want again! And like others have said, just making sure she is involved in physical activities will make a difference. There are lots of fun things you could do together like take a nature walk, bike ride to your library or park, or go swimming.....all of which don't have to feel like exercising but rather just spending some quality time together

She is six years old and at a very impressionable age. It sounds like you are setting her up for failure down the road if you are starting to have conversations now about weight loss. She is a growing kid and it is quite possible that she truly is hungry after dinner and that may have nothing to do with your fear of eating out of boredom. I would suggest not projecting your fears and issues onto your kid.

I agree. Provide her with healthy food options, but don't start giving food/food-behaviours negative labels. I remember growing up with a mother who (despite being gorgeous inside and out) was always critical of herself and her size, and was always on one diet or another. I was a bigger (not overweight, but not skinny!) kid, and she constantly reminded me that I didn't want to be like her, and always commented on what/how I was eating! Not really surprising that I ended up with body and food issues!

Don't label food 'good' or 'bad' and don't lecture her on her weight. Just encourage her to be active, and remember that a balanced diet means ALL food is eaten in moderation. Also, food isn't a reward or something to treat yourself with when you have had a bad day. Try not to give food any emotional labels - its is fuel for our bodies. Delicious, delicious fuel! :P

PS: BMI's aren't accurate for children. Centile charts and specific formulas are used by doctors/nurses for children's weights

^^^ all of this is really good advice

OP: there's a big danger that trying to get children into eating healthy can backfire and have totally the opposite effect. Lots of adults I know were banned from eating certain foods as kids, and what did they do... they ate that food at every opportunity when their parents didn't know, and in some cases this extends into adulthood, i.e. leaving home becomes the time of food freedom and a whole lot of poor food choices. This is why I let my kids eat sweets and take them to McDonalds. Not everyday, but enough that they don't feel deprived or fall into the mindset of dichotomising food into "healthy" and "unhealthy" and seeing only the "unhealthy" foods as desirable.

I do teach them about food, i.e. that their body needs protein to grow and be strong, that they need carbohydrate for energy, and fat, vitamins, minerals and fibre to be healthy. I'm also getting towards teaching them that eating more than you burn off makes people fat, but that issue hasn't really come up and neither of them are overweight so really I see no need to make them fear something that's currently showing no signs of happening. I'm focusing on health, and letting the avoiding obesity aspect of health take care of itself. There's far more to health and a healthy diet than just not being fat. IMO the dangers of obesity (while real) are massively overemphasised at the expense of just about every other aspect of health. I'm trying to give my girls a balanced view of health, where all factors are taken into consideration.

Childhood obesity is mostly caused by inactivity. Kids nowadays actually eat fewer calories than kids in the 1950s did. The difference is kids in the 1950s spent way more time playing outdoors, walked everywhere and did more sport/exercise at school. Do what you can to encourage your kid(s) to be active. Go for walks, don't use the car or bus for short journeys, walk instead. Sign her/them up for physical activities and sports clubs. Send her/them to play outside. Limit screen time (one of the main cause of kids being inactive is playing computer/ipad/phone/etc games all the time). If possible have the kids walk part of all of the way to school. I actively encourage my kids to be physically active and teach them that their bodies need exercise to stay healthy. And they both want to lift weights like their mummy (yes I try to lead by example too).

It sounds like you are doing well, in my opinion. I'm not a parent but I was a chubby kid and preteen who turned into an obese teenager. I don't blame my parents AT ALL for my weight problems and I think they did the best they could. They didn't realize how convenience foods and restaurant meals added up - it seemed like I ate pretty small amounts of food but it was almost always full of sugar, fat & salt.

I do think you should consider slowing your roll on the straight-up discussion of weight, dieting, obesity, etc. It's fine to talk about it but I think if you drill it into her head too much it's just going to magnify the problem. She is really young. It is great that you are working toward a healthier lifestyle now, and you can (as others have said here) lead by example.

I think the ice cream on Friday thing sounds perfectly fine, personally.

Why are chips so readily available at her school, though? That's disturbing to me.

2 things I believe my own parents did WELL with me despite my growing weight problem as a kid and preteen etc...

1) Giving me loads of compliments, both physical and non-physical. It really helped to build my self esteem. You're so smart, nice, a good speller, artist, pretty, you are really strong, a good friend, so helpful, you have a lovely smile, etc. Fifty of those to every comment about "I don't want you to get fat blah blah..." See what I am getting at here?

2) Being active as a family to encourage me to be active in general. Doesn't have to mean organized sports or even dance/tumbling lessons. This could be anything...throwing a ball around, playing with a pet or friend's pets, dancing to fun music, shooting baskets with a glow in the dark ball ($7 from Aldi! I have one right now, haha, and I'm 37), riding a bicycle after dinner, taking walks at the park or somewhere else that is more fun to kids than just walking on their own block...stuff like that. Instead of just treats like food or toys, going somewhere like a zoo, bounce house, roller skating, bowling, or walking all over a large mall for 30+ minutes before getting the ice cream. Not like a bribe, but because it is FUN.

I especially brought up that second one because I see a lot of my friends and acquaintances who have children of elementary school age or younger fall into just 2 categories - SUPER active kids involved in sports and constantly moving, and completely sedentary kids who have never done anything with a ball outside of gym class and are more comfortable just sitting with their iPad.

Good luck!!

I am not trying to put any of my fears on to my kid, but as I mentioned obesity is a huge part of both sides of the family. i want to prevent that for her. Also, I get that I am in control of what she eats but I have just started all of this myself so "getting the junk out of the house" is just a start for me as well.

I am looking for advice on the best approach, if she is hungry of course I am going to feed her. But, if she is literally sitting at the table eating dinner and says she is full .. why is she going for a snack 2 seconds later???

I get a lot of it falls on me for allowing her to eat the snacks she has had in the past, and I take ownership 100%..because I have been that parent that just gives in.

I am looking for ideas on recipes to try with her, other ways of making it a lifestyle change for her as well. I am NOT looking to put her on a diet.. I think she is perfect, I just do not want her to struggle later on..am I wrong for wanting to start showing her the right path now? I am not talking to her about counting calories.. I am just talking to her about not eating her snacks immediately after finishing a big meal, to save them as a special treat .., like I mentioned I am explaining to her she should chose which snack she wants the most and it be a special treat instead of an everyday snack.

I know a lot of it has to do with recipes and different approaches.. and that is what I am asking for advice on.

Thanks everyone!

My 7 year old does this...he will say he is full at dinner and then wants something sweet after we clear the table. We have started saving his dinner plate. (Clear the rest of the table, his plate stays.) When he comes back asking for something to snack on we tell him to finish his dinner. I wouldn't talk to her about losing weight, just making healthy choices, and why healthy food is good for your body. Maybe look around your community and see if they have a healthy living center that has presentations geared toward children.

Teaching her to make good choices is part of parenting, so kudos to you! Just make sure you don't portray any specific food as bad, but explain moderation and treats. Good Luck!

My daughter is 7, slightly taller, and about 10 pounds bigger.

I have never told her that I need to lose weight. I have talked abotu it with my husband. She's seen my fat pictures. She hears me count calories, weigh food, and essentially obsess over it.

My direct conversations with her about me or her are all about being healthy. Never weight. I tell her weight doesn't matter. Somewhere down the road she didn't hear that and only heard the conversations I had with my husband. Last night we went grocery shopping and in the produce department I let he rpick out ANY fruit and vegetable. She gets free reign. We were perusing for foods we like there that were on special and she said "I'm going to get a ton of healthy food so I can lose weight."

It broke my heart. She is gorgeous. She's got a solid build. She's very active. But yes, I am concerned that she will continue to gain weight even though she's been evening out over the past few years. So from experience, this is what we've been doing:

1. Yesterday after picking out the healthy foods she wanted I sliced up the fresh veggies right away so she can grab a healthy sanck in the fridge when she is hungry. No prep work for me or my husband.

2. When it's nice outside I give her the option to clean her room or ride her bike outside. She doesn't want to clean....

3. I've started leaving small chores for her to do when she comes home from school so she doesn't sit and watch TV (my husband works from home so for a few hours he's wokring while she's home). Since doing this, she has been watching WAY less TV even after chores, and therefore asking for less snacks.

4. If she wants a snack after dinner but she was too full to eat dinner, too bad. If she ate her dinner and wants a healthy snack, sometimes an unhealthy one, fine. But it's not every day.

5. Most of the time the junk food in our house consists of pretzels, maybe tortilla chips, and possibly seasonal candy like jelly beans. No ice cream. no cookies. There are exceptions and then we can enjoy that stuff in moderation but she doesn't have the option.

6. We also grow a garden in the summer. She is involved in planting, and deciding what we want to grow. She loves doing it.

7. She has dance parties ALL the time. By herself....she loves to dance. We let her blast the music and have her party

8. I let her get involved in meal planning. I ask her what she wants and usually there's a way to do it healthy. Sometimes I will look on websites like skinnytaste with her and we will plan our meals together.

The extent of the conversations we have had have been to be healthy and strong....maybe occasionally about how exercise is good for our heart. No weight loss and nothing more about health. I know I need to make changes in my attitude and the conversations I have that she can hear. You don't want her to tell you in a year she watns to lose weight to be skinny.

.

I think it's very reasonable to get them thinking like it early. I have obesity in my family and I just ate out of boredom and got obese myself, finally getting round to sorting that out now.

^^THIS!!

My son started getting "chunky" at 6. His dad was of the opinion that limiting his food choices or as he put it "putting him on a diet" would be bad for his self-esteem.

My argument was 1. it's NOT a diet, it's having more healthy snacks and less convenient junk food around. 2. Kids are cruel in school... what is being the "fat kid" and being picked on going to do for his self esteem?

Bottom line, my son slowly but surely went from chunky to obese to morbidly obese over the years. His dad and I had 50/50 custody so a week at my house where we went for walks or he rode his bike. We cooked at home and ate balanced meals, we did have snacks and convenience foods but we also kept a lot of fruit, yogurt, nuts and "healthier" snacks. Every week at my house he would lose weight.

Then he would go to his dad's for a week. His dad doesn't cook, they ordered pizza or ate fast food or buffets almost every single night. The cabinets were full of cocoa puffs, pop tarts, chips and dip and microwave crap. They would go to the movies and eat popcorn, candy etc. He would gain weight every week at his dad's house.

I don't think there's anything wrong with leading by example. It's about living and eating healthy. It's not about "diet". It is about teaching self control and having occasional treats.

At 18 my son is easily over 300 lbs and maybe 5'10". It breaks my heart but the battle with my ex was too much. I was accused of forcing my son to be on a diet while his dad told him it is HIS body and HIS choice. This started as early as 8 or 9. My son is very self conscious and hides himself in layers of baggy clothes.

I know there are many different opinions but my feeling is that as parents we have a responsibility to teach and at times impose limits .. they ARE our responsibility and kids WILL eat what you provide.

So many great ideas!!! As I mentioned,I am struggling with my weight as well. I have always struggled with my weight. I grew up with an overweight mom, she was up and down with diets and she let us pretty much do as we want. I just don't want to wait until it is too late to start letting her know how she should be eating..and as time goes by I feel that it is getting too late.

There are so many great ideas I can use for myself, and her!! I am so appreciative of each and every response.

Thanks again!

I would just focus on you and not bring her into the equation. Get yourself fit, do not discuss the weight with her and the changes will trickle down to her. If you dont want her having chips or ice cream then do not buy them. Good Luck!

My daughter is almost 8. My husband and I take her shopping with us every week and have taught her to read labels. She watches us pick out the healthier options, the lower fat meats, gets lots of produce, etc... I have been having her packing her own lunches for school the past couple weeks and telling her she can't take all snack foods, she gets one small snack a day with her lunch (my idea of snacks are like cheese crackers though, not candy bars) and she must include a fruit or vegetable. I also won't let her put lots of mayonnaise on her sandwich like she wants to. We have explained vitamins, minerals, proteins, and such to her and the importance of them. My daughter is not overweight, we just want her to be educated - to know and understand. We don't push it much.
Now, exercise is something I strongly encourage. I take her out running at least 3 days a week. She always has a goal of some sort she is working towards - currently she is trying to get her mile run time down to an 8 minute mile (she runs a mile in about 9 minutes right now) and she wants to start improving her short sprint time too.
The only thing I feel I am doing wrong (and unfortunately, still haven't corrected it and I really should) is letting her reward herself with food. For instance, I let her have ice cream on nights that she beats her times or treat her to fast food for lunch on days she beats her distance.
I can see how this one could develop into a really bad habit, but I also see a lot of people who do the same thing. Why not eat that 250 calorie treat after running 3.5 miles? She earned it right? I haven't decided yet. lol

I think its really great that you are consciously trying to ensure she is healthy - so don't be too hard on yourself. As other posters have suggested I wouldn't talk about being over weight etc - I would just correct the balance in her diet & suggest that chips, sweeties etc are not for every day. I wouldn't even suggest these foods are a 'treat' - because then they turn into some kind of reward for being good. It must be a minefield, lol. I don't have kids - just lots of nephews, but they rarely have sweeties etc and were always encouraged to eat fruit instead - which they genuinely love. They didn't ask for other less healthy foods, because they had never really had them - therefore didn't know they were an option.

My daughter doesn't have a weight problem, she's 14 and weighs 70 lbs. But she does love junk food. I didn't read all the replies so if this was said sorry.

She has a "treat basket", it's a basket she picked out herself at the dollar general and on Sunday nights she is allowed to put 14 of her favorite "bad" (though I don't use that word) treats in it. For the next week she has 14 treats to eat, if she eats 2 a day they will last all week, if she eats 10 on Monday doesn't leave much for the rest of the week. Everything is measured out by serving size so no she can't eat an entire family size bag of chips.

Foods such as fruit, yogurt, veggies are always available "on demand". She can eat as much of them as she likes. After the first week (about 8 weeks ago), she has never ever run out of treats, usually she has leftovers on Sunday.

As I said she is under weigh if nothing else so I didn't do this for diet purposes. However, I don't want her to get in the habit of eating because she bored/tired/it's there whatever the reason. She needs to eat when she's hungry, wish my mom taught me that. She has loved this idea and works for us. I've noticed more and more she is going to the frig for yogurt or the cabinet for peanut butter and crackers and bypassing the "basket".

She's also very active so I do need to make sure I get as many calories as possible into her or she'll drop to 60 lbs like no ones business. She runs track/cross country and plays soccer so she just burns it. I've noticed too she is looking at food labels and making better choices on her own, including not eating the "junk" (her word) from the school cafeteria and packing her lunch instead.

About the wanting to eat right after having a meal. She'll do this to sometimes. It's usually because she's busy talking at the dinner table and doesn't eat as much as she should. She's always welcome to eat up leftovers from dinner if they are put away already. As far as having a "dessert", I ask her to wait 15 mins and if she is still hungry she can have a dessert.

Works at our house.

Maybe it would be more healthy to approach this by getting her involved in dance, skating, other sports for extra-curricular. Also, consider talking more about healthy foods, nutrition and balanced meals rather than discussing losing weight.

She is in a dance class, which she goes to every week. She has also done soccer, and we do girl scouts. I try to get her involved in every sport, but she refuses. For instance, softball just came up and I begged her to join because it will be fun...she refuses!!! Same thing with basketball..and when she has dance/soccer she sometimes whines she doesn't want to go. I tell her how much I love seeing her participating and the benefits of going.. but sometimes she seems to have a lot of lazy tactics

?

I never really tried to push my daughter into any sport, just more asked and encouraged her to do something. But, I told her I would help her in whatever sport she wanted to pursue. My daughter has no interest in any particular sport right now, she just likes to run. In have talked to her about track and field and cross country running and she is very interested in that. But, unfortunately, there are not events like that for children her age. She doesn't want to do anything else she just wants to run. So, I take her running.
Help her find what she wants to do/she enjoys and encourage it. But, don't force or push anything.