What is the proper etiquette for children's sleepovers?

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  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    You know... you could just be honest and tell her that you would really like to know her better before you let your son spend the night her house.

    If she doesn't understand that, then the answer is automatically no.
  • JenGranzow
    JenGranzow Posts: 116 Member
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    My kids are 5 and 8, so for the 5 yo it's easy - no sleepovers yet. For the 8 yo, we've had her BFF sleep over at our house but she has not yet slept over at a friend's house. I would absolutely need to meet and have a comfort level with the parents before I allowed a sleepover. If I don't know you, have not been to your house, my kid is not sleeping over.

    If you are not comfortable with it, just say so, and that's totally ok! If you feel like it's too confrontational, and are open to the idea of your son and this kid having a sleepover, how about turning it around and inviting HIM to your house, at least as a first step toward getting a better comfort level with the family.
  • MiloBloom83
    MiloBloom83 Posts: 2,724 Member
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    It's not at Neverland Ranch, is it? Because that would be a NO!.
  • mamaspa4
    mamaspa4 Posts: 32
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    I had a call last week for my 5 yr old to sleep out. I was like seriously, I dont let my 9 yr old sleep out. And,I totally agree I would set up a few play dates then go from there. You cant trust people these days and never know what goe son behind closed doors.So, I have meet his lady before and I have been to her house for a birthday party, and they are very nice people. But, I just told her he is not ready for sleep over yet, he actually cried for me last time I left him with his maw-maw that he see's weekly.
  • Mischievous_Rascal
    Mischievous_Rascal Posts: 1,791 Member
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    I would need to meet the parents at their place for a playdate first. Especially if she sounded that distracted.

    What if their house reeks of pot or something? That happened to a friend of mine with her daughter.
  • Escloflowne
    Escloflowne Posts: 2,038 Member
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    Whatever, just let your kid go! You can always make more if something happens to it!

    I.C.E. Cream Official Tester
    IKEA Professional Put Together-er
    Kickboxing Class Attender
    Been in fitness for about 2 years and have studied kitty-gif-ology, nutrition and Dinosaurs

    BTW, I've been keeping all the hex keys from your IKEA assembly and fashioning them into a spiny butt plug. Can't wait to shove it up your *kitten*, Eric.


    :smokin:

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  • tomomatic
    tomomatic Posts: 1,794 Member
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    I'm kinda with you.
    I've gotten to know my daughter's friends and their parents through interactions from play dates or b-day parties. If someone asked out of the blue and I didn't know that person, I'd probably say no or make some excuse.

    Also, make sure they know of all LL's allergies and junk. I freaked out when one kid came over for a playdate and he started hyperventilating. He pulled an inhaler out of his backpack and the crisis was averted.
  • _crafty_
    _crafty_ Posts: 1,682 Member
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    I wouldn't allow it. I'd suggest they have a play date (or two) prior to any sleep over so you can meet the kid and the parents. You may not even want him around this other kid. Sounds like the mother is an idiot. And yes, I'm judging.

    Pretty much this. It's your child, not a houseplant. You should be concerned with whom he spends his time.

    *hi five* a man in agreement. My ex always makes me feel like I'm overprotective... which I am LOL But shouldn't I be? At least a little?

    yes. totally. because contrary to what Eric thinks . . . making babies isn't as easy as baking cookies.
  • BamaBreezeNSaltAire
    BamaBreezeNSaltAire Posts: 966 Member
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    No. Just no. Every alarm bell as a mother is going off in me. I have a 12 year old, I learned some lessons and to this with a 7 year old. NO, no way no how.
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
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    it depends.

    how fond are you of your son?
  • IPAkiller
    IPAkiller Posts: 711 Member
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    My parents had a rule that they had to have at least met the parent(s) before over nights. If this lady had any common sense she would know that this is the rule of many parents, observe it and have the decency to not put people on the spot. LL not attending is on her, not you.
  • Escloflowne
    Escloflowne Posts: 2,038 Member
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    I wouldn't allow it. I'd suggest they have a play date (or two) prior to any sleep over so you can meet the kid and the parents. You may not even want him around this other kid. Sounds like the mother is an idiot. And yes, I'm judging.

    Pretty much this. It's your child, not a houseplant. You should be concerned with whom he spends his time.

    *hi five* a man in agreement. My ex always makes me feel like I'm overprotective... which I am LOL But shouldn't I be? At least a little?

    yes. totally. because contrary to what Eric thinks . . . making babies isn't as easy as baking cookies.

    tumblr_lxdx35rSUQ1qd7boz.gif
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
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    My kids already know not to ask about sleeping over at someone's house if I don't know them. Of course, in this instance, the mother asked and not your kid.

    Maybe you could go bowling with them, get to know mom, and if you feel comfortable after say yes or no to the sleepover.

    This is how I'd handle it. Of course, I'm the mom that let my oldest have his first sleepover in preschool.....
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    I wouldn't allow it. I'd suggest they have a play date (or two) prior to any sleep over so you can meet the kid and the parents. You may not even want him around this other kid. Sounds like the mother is an idiot. And yes, I'm judging.

    Pretty much this. It's your child, not a houseplant. You should be concerned with whom he spends his time.

    *hi five* a man in agreement. My ex always makes me feel like I'm overprotective... which I am LOL But shouldn't I be? At least a little?

    yes. totally. because contrary to what Eric thinks . . . making babies isn't as easy as baking cookies.

    My kid would be burnt to a crisp then... baking cookies is hard work, man!!
  • BigBellyGoAway
    BigBellyGoAway Posts: 781 Member
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    Get to know the parents first.
  • Chain_Ring
    Chain_Ring Posts: 753 Member
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    I wouldn't even consider sending him.
  • ItsMeGee3
    ItsMeGee3 Posts: 13,254 Member
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    Absolutely, Play date and meet the parents!!!
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    it depends.

    how fond are you of your son?

    Eh. Sort of fond...
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,857 Member
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    I'd vote no. .

    I let my kid sleepover with neighbors. . I see them all the time. .I know the parents. the siblings.There a no red flags with them.

    But. . if it's someone outside the neighborhood the dynamic is different.. The kid can't just come home if things get weird. Also. .you don't know the family well.. Even if you meet for bowling or at the park. you don't know the family. The family MUST include any adult in the home.. You have to have a good relationship with the father, the mother, and any older siblings living in the home before you send your seven year old son to spend the night.

    Furthermore. I wouldn't turn the tables and invite their son for a sleepover either. If you do, then it becomes awkward to refuse when they ask next time. .not that feeling awkward should matter. . but it's nice to avoid if you can!. .Just say it's a policy or something. . Most parents will understand this and if they don't. . so what!?

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