Husband Is Mad I Am Fat

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Replies

  • PinkCupcakes01
    PinkCupcakes01 Posts: 3
    I would try to ignore his foolishness and continue on the weight loss journey for yourself.
  • LKArgh
    LKArgh Posts: 5,178 Member
    Hi Jasmine,

    I agree with the other comments. I don't know your relationship with your husband and it's not my place to give my opinion. However, you need to live for yourself a little bit. Screw what he thinks about your weight. I wanted to share that I started Focus T 25 yesterday and it's just 25 minutes per day. I guess you could give it a try if you want to loose weight and get back in shape.
    Good luck in your journey and keep in mind that with everything you do around the house and for your kids, you deserve a happy life (starting with loving yourself)!

    She has a lot of weight to lose, she needs to start by eating less, then worry about exercise. Even 25 minutes every single day will not change much regarding what the scale shows.
    OP: are your kids obese too? If yes, it is time to reconsider what you are feeding your family and look into different cooking styles, or change your shopping list. If they are not obese, then figure out why? Are you buying/packign different lunches for you and them? Are they eating smaller portions? Are you buying snacks for yourself that you would nto consider healthy enough to feed to them? Do you drink lots of sugary beverages? Do you have snacks you eat at bedtime, when you try to relax or to catch up with the chores that are left?
  • dodochoga
    dodochoga Posts: 33
    No offense but I'd divorce that idiot. Sounds like a total a-hole. Counseling doesn't fix stupid. That guy is stupid.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    Sounds like a rough patch. Challenging circumstances can strengthen or weaken a marriage, depending on the personalities involved. Your marriage sounds like it is in trouble. Get to counseling and see if this relationship can be saved. I think it might help to get everyone's feelings and perspectives out in the open. I can't recall ever feeling such bitterness towards my husband. (Although I have been slightly annoyed from time to time, it does not last.)

    P.S. Don't let your anger keep you from losing weight if that's what you want to do. Seeking revenge by staying overweight ultimately both punishes you and reinforces the negative feelings/behaviors in your relationship. It doesn't take a lot of time to adjust your eating habits and log meals. Fitting in exercise is ideal, but if you don't have the time, changing eating habits alone is sufficient to lose weight. Good luck!
  • ScattyMinx
    ScattyMinx Posts: 32
    I would never allow my husband to be that way with me, I was a size 8 when I met my husband I am now a size 16-18. He loves me for who I am on the inside not for what I look like, that is how it should be. I think maybe your man needs to get that stick out of his backside and take some responsibility.

    If you plan to lose the weight and work for it, then do it for YOU not for him! Xx
  • knra_grl
    knra_grl Posts: 1,566 Member
    Tell him if he wants you to make the time to workout and lose weight he needs to work overtime - that will keep his negative attitude out of the house.

    Honestly I would probably change the locks the next time he is away with work.

    Sorry.
  • jasminemars01
    jasminemars01 Posts: 27
    Thank you all so much for your supportive, kind words. I am overwhelmed by the responses to my post. I am reading through them this morning. Thank you, thank you all so much. I feel better already.
  • Shropshire1959
    Shropshire1959 Posts: 982 Member
    you should be mad that he's lazy and sounds like a bully.

    Be happy in your own skin and **** everyone else.
  • prattiger65
    prattiger65 Posts: 1,657 Member
    OP, I think you should find out what is really wrong with him/you/your relationship. You didn't say that he has been this way for years or that you have heard this or that before, so I'm gonna go with there are deeper problems in your relationship. Dig!
  • Jenlwb
    Jenlwb Posts: 682 Member
    Tell him you could lose a surplus 200lbs instantly by getting rid of him.

    But seriously, he needs to start supporting you. Sit him down and tell him about your typical day.

    Good luck xx
  • DoingitWell
    DoingitWell Posts: 560 Member
    Hug-
  • bigbarnold
    bigbarnold Posts: 2,554 Member
    You really should get some counciling for you marriage! It is easy to say just walk away from him without thinking of what the kids will have to deal with. He should be more supportive and attacking you isn't helping you. Please remember though that you don't need to excersize to lose weight! Of course it helps you lose faster, but just changing your diet and sticking with it will help you lose weight also. Good luck and I truly hope that things work out for the best in all you do.
  • lsegatti
    lsegatti Posts: 77 Member
    You have the decision to make on how you will take your next step, no one can change another persons behaviors: only their own.
    You do not state how old your children might be, can you go out for walks or the playground more with them now that spring has sprung? Can you link up with other Moms in Your area and watch their children two nights a week so you have them watch yours two nights Etc.

    I agree with the other posts that discussion with your husband etc is a good idea, but you can control this issue. I know you have two jobs and are tired etc....but can you take a five minute walk during a break on the job. Every little bit is a step in The right direction. Do it for your children, do it for you...become healthier and happier!
  • csverdin
    csverdin Posts: 12 Member
    Tell him you could lose a surplus 200lbs instantly by getting rid of him.

    But seriously, he needs to start supporting you. Sit him down and tell him about your typical day.

    Good luck xx

    My thoughts exactly. I would never speak to my wife that way.
  • sarainiowa
    sarainiowa Posts: 287 Member
    There's a lot more going on in that house and relationship then a weight issue. Time to get brutally honest with yourselves and figure things out.
  • iluvmpiche
    iluvmpiche Posts: 23
    I'm sorry you're dealing with this, OP. I know how frustrating it can be.

    But, always look at the situation from both sides. From his view point, you're taking care of everybody EXCEPT yourself. That would bother me, too. You're busy being a working mom, but taking all the responsibility for kids and home isn't fair. Both of you need to share equal responsibility.

    But also realize that your metabolism slows over the years. If you don't have time to work out, at least change your diet. Park a little further away from work and walk. There is always something you can do to better yourself. Perhaps seeing you improve yourself will motivate him to help you out more.

    Sounds like BOTH of you are frustrated, so work together to fix your bodies, your busy lives, and your marriage.
  • smanning1982
    smanning1982 Posts: 210 Member
    And why exactly are you with him? You have two jobs, hes not there, you are basically doing the single mom thing anyways and when he's there he obviously isn't even attracted to you (sorry but from what you said it's the truth). You seriously need to up and leave while he's away. Get on with your life. Get heathly for YOU and find someone that cares about you for you and not your looks. I would never be able to be with someone like that. And don't say it's for the kids. They hardly see him and kids would rather be from a broken home than to live in one.
  • ashmarie8722
    ashmarie8722 Posts: 247 Member
    Simply: It is amazing how being happy or unhappy can affect your weight!! and desire to work out.
  • golferd
    golferd Posts: 400 Member
    I understand the divorce rate being so high, after reading the responses. The reason marriages don't work is both sides quit trying. Also, most couples don't talk enough.

    Should he talk to you that way, no. However, he talked to you, and not a public forum. How would you feel if he blasted the problems to complete strangers?

    Sounds to me like 2 very tired individuals, that are not working together. Both feel like they are working harder then the other, and both feel under appreciated.

    Work the problem with your best friend, your spouse.
  • 3laine75
    3laine75 Posts: 3,069 Member
    I'd put him out then get in shape - he sounds like an *kitten*.
  • chelseafxx
    chelseafxx Posts: 251 Member
    I would be re-evaluating the relationship if that was happening in my house!

    This. I would NEVER let anyone talk to me like that. He'd better cover his balls cause he's got a swift kick coming right at em!! That being said being married is different. I would try to find a time to sit down with him and explain to him that it is something you want to do but you will need his help, love, and support. Not his current attitude. Best of luck!
  • spsanderson
    spsanderson Posts: 39 Member
    What is the root cause of his anger, it's certainly not weight related, there is something deeper going on here then, the house is a mess, your not looking the way I want. Since you have been married for 15 years and have 2 children the weight did not appear one week while he was away at work.

    Try and have a date night or something, maybe there is an unknown stress that is causing this, don't really know. When was the last time just the two of you were able to get away for a night?

    All things to think about, I know when my wife and I get into it, it's usually because I'm under to much stress from work or school or she is.
  • jenmom2myboys
    jenmom2myboys Posts: 311 Member
    There's a lot more going on in that house and relationship then a weight issue. Time to get brutally honest with yourselves and figure things out.

    This. I dont think this is really about weight.
  • g44219
    g44219 Posts: 3,665 Member
    15 years together would be a lot to throw away. Sounds like there were some words said out of anger that can't be taken back. I hope you guys figure it out. I know those kids would like for you to. I agree with some though, you have to have mutual respect for each other and remember some words can't be taken back and hurt for a long time. It's the easiest to hurt the ones that care about you the most. Hopefully there will be some apologies today. And after 15 years, he should know you can't win an argument with a woman! :)
  • rockmama72
    rockmama72 Posts: 815 Member
    You need to grow some self-esteem, girl! The very best way to do that is to start doing healthy things for yourself. Eating less takes no extra time. (Of course tracking takes a LITTLE time, but NOT buying a bunch of junk food, eating more vegetables and making some simple light dinners WILL make an impact with the amount of weight you have to lose... And it takes no extra time.) I will note that I really don't buy the no extra time excuse. I think you can find it. Lots of people do. :)

    All the advice you've received about getting out for walks and fun with the kids--yes! Kids like to play, you have to take care of them. There you go! Two birds with one stone. Be the super-fun mom. Again, this extra movement WILL have an impact on your weight.

    You need this for yourself. If you keep it up, you'll get that piece of yourself back that you need to be able to be a strong, equal partner in your marriage.
  • RobsGirl_lds
    RobsGirl_lds Posts: 211 Member
    I don't know if this has been said but, it sounds like he wants to have a show wife. What he is forgetting is he dosnt make enough money to be able to expect one. If he can't pay to give you the time to do what is needed to keep up his ideal lookin woman he can't complain.

    I think his anger may come from his inability to provide for his wife and family with out help from you.
  • SonicDeathMonkey80
    SonicDeathMonkey80 Posts: 4,489 Member
    I'd love to hear the other side of this story.
  • joyfuljoy65
    joyfuljoy65 Posts: 317 Member
    :smile: :smile:
    I understand the divorce rate being so high, after reading the responses. The reason marriages don't work is both sides quit trying. Also, most couples don't talk enough.

    Should he talk to you that way, no. However, he talked to you, and not a public forum. How would you feel if he blasted the problems to complete strangers?

    Sounds to me like 2 very tired individuals, that are not working together. Both feel like they are working harder then the other, and both feel under appreciated.

    Work the problem with your best friend, your spouse.

    ditto :smile:
  • StaciMarie1974
    StaciMarie1974 Posts: 4,138 Member
    Haven't read all the posts. But assuming your husband knows you well, perhaps he is using an angle that he knows will make you mad. Doing it on purpose to fire you up.

    LIfe is busy. If you want to be healthier - start making choices to benefit yourself. Doesn't have to be sacrifice yourself for family or sacrifice family for yourself. Good luck!
  • MapleFlavouredMaiden
    MapleFlavouredMaiden Posts: 595 Member
    Unless this is just him in a depressed type mood and he's normally not like this, then I would get out. I live with a person who goes up in down extremely in mood and that's hard enough because my happiness depends on his moods. Not fun. If you're husband is like this all the time. you need to consider leaving in my opinion. I wont suggest counseling because I've never ever seen that work, it usually just drags things out.

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