Husband Is Mad I Am Fat

I get it... I am a busy mom, work full time, pick up my son, drive home (30 minutes in traffic), change to my workout clothes right away while the dinner is warming up and do my exercise while my 4 year old is having his dinner. We all have busy lives. I personally nag my husband to start exercising becuse he's starting to have a little beer belly, i don't think i'm a bully? no.. i want him to look good and be healthy. BTW, my husband appreciates when i remind him to eat less, beause he wants hi "fit" body back.

So sad to read how many people think you should dump your husband and get a divorce because of him acting like a jerk. There is no need to throw him away over something so simple.

Just lose weight. Men are visual as we all know, and he fell in love with a super-model thin woman. There is no reason you can't try to maintain close to that. It truly isn't fair to men. It sounds superficial to woman, but it is important to men. I'm not saying you need to look exactly like you did, but you owe it to your marriage to look as good as you can. If you aren't putting a good effort into the way you look, the romance is going to (and seems to have already) fizzle.

I know you say you don't have time, but that is just an excuse. You may not have time to go to the gym, but you certainly have time to watch what you eat, you just don't want to.

Okay okay, you can feel rebellious if you want, go ahead, the choice is yours. You are then headed to divorce.

Or, you can simply eat less calories, get healthier, feel better, be a good role model of health for your kids, and reignite the spark between you and your husband. It's as simple as controlling your calories.

Agreed! I would still be married today if I hadn't been a stubborn, rebellious idiot! LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES, PLEASE.

I would be re-evaluating the relationship if that was happening in my house!

Once you have kids, you are more or less trapped.

How dare he? He vowed to love you no matter what when you got married. How dare he now say he will love you only when you are skinny and with your nails done! Personally, I would be changing the locks on the house when he is working away from home. But that is just me and is easier said than done! I am really mad for you! :explode:

Honestly, counseling may be in order to help with the marriage part. Sounds to me like he wants a perfect house when he is home on the weekends. Life just does not work that way. Or maybe something isn't right with him and he is taking it out on you. Either way he is wrong.

I agree that you cannot lose weight for anyone but yourself. However, they can be motivators. Why don't you look at loosing weight so you can be more active with your kids? I am lucky. My hubby loves me no matter what size I am. Yes, he would prefer I were as thin as when we met but he realizes that life happens. He isn't what he used to be either.

Hugs to you and I will keep you in my thoughts.

You can lose weight just by eating at a calorie deficit. Doesn't really take that much time to figure out. So it is possible to lose weight with your crazy schedule.

This ^^

But there seems to be a lot more going on in this household than weight loss is going to fix. Why must he work away from home 5 nights a week if he is not even making enough to support your family without you having to work 2 jobs? Why is he suddenly so upset over your weight gain? Surely you did not gain all your weight in the 5 days since he's seen you. These are questions I'd be asking myself.

Based on nothing but the OP, since that's all I have, it seems like you and your husband need to have a serious and civil discussion about a lot more than just your weight.

I'm going to play devil's advocate and say you're looking for an excuse to stay the way you are. I'm busy too; full time job, single parent, 3 kids. I make it happen. It's what you do when you want it bad enough.

^^ This.

How does that saying go? "Those that want it will find a way, others will find an excuse"

Having Kids does not make you trapped!!!! it simply makes you responsible for children I had my eldest son with an actual bully he was physically abusive I lost weight and left , either do something about it or stay they are your options and whats to say you lose weight and he finds something else that makes him unhappy? or maybe he is merely a tired man been at work all week and had to hear you moaning on about how fat you are.
My poor Fiance he says im beautiful and I show him how many inches I can pinch I really think you should say "when you say......it makes me feel......" and see what he says because I bet he responds with well don't moan your fat then!
Either way you are the 1 who needs to figure it out I really hope you do because moving on with children is tough I know only too well but life is way too short to be miserable.

you should be mad that he's lazy and sounds like a bully.

Be happy in your own skin and **** everyone else.

Her husband speaking the truth about how HE FEELS makes him a bully?????

Wow, just wow............I can't.

No, belittling her and making her feel worthless makes him a bully....

I don't see where him stating his feelings that she let herself go is belittling her. That is not bullying.

No one can make another person feel worthless. Only YOU (as a person) can make you feel worthless.

If someone being honest and saying, Hey, your fat and need to lose weight is bullying - then that is saying that married persons can't be honest with their own spouse.

Your spouse is the ONE person in this world you should be able to say anything to being honest.

No one should have to walk on egg shells around the other person just not to hurt their poor little feelings.,

Grow up, life isn't fair and the TRUTH hurts sometimes. GROW UP!!!

I'm also disgusted about all of you talking about how she shouldn't post this on here... relationships VERY much effect our eating and health habits! And who cares if it is a one sided representation SHE is part of the MFP community and I am constantly astonished how you people are so quick to put someone down rather than lift them up especially when regaurdless of the circumstances it seems she gets enough of that at home!!!

I'm disgusted with the lack of personal accountability/responsibility.

There's no doubt you are feeling upset, hurt, angry. Anybody in the situation you have described would feel that way (I certainly would). One question you should ask yourself is why did you put on such a lot of weight in the first place. It sounds like you have not, unlike many others and myself included, had a life long weight problem from childhood. If you were supermodel slim at one time and have gained 187bs why did that happen?

The most important thing in this is for you to be happy, healthy and the best you can be for yourself and your family because if you are the best you can be and healthiest you can be you will find it so much easier to cope with life. Being fat in this world is not easy. You feel tired, sad, your confidence goes, you can lose yourself somewhere in that weight. People make all sorts of judgements about you when you are fat - "you are lazy, you are greedy, you are stupid." I've heard them all in my life. Are you depressed and eat out of comfort? Are you bored with life and eat without even thinking? Do you think you do not matter and that everybody else does? Despite the brutal way your husband has said it don't let that stop you from doing the right thing for yourself. You are still a young woman (not a 50 year old bat like me).

I have 100lbs to lose myself and I know how hard it is to do that, how impossible it seems. It is a long term goal and cannot be done quickly. You need to get yourself a plan, something you can live with, in fact something your will keep for the rest of your life. Control your calories so that you have a deficit, work out things you like to eat, meals you can make yourself quickly and with no fuss. You don't need to do massive amounts of exercise, just try to be more active during your everyday life, walk as much as you can, take stairs anything just as long as you don't keep sitting. The only thing you need to do is put some effort in and make a plan, do it for you. There are plenty of people on here who will give you support, advice, help and the benefit of their experience. You can add me as a friend if you like.

My guy said to me about a year ago that he was concerned about my weight, not because of how I looked but because he was worried for my health, that he couldn't bear it if I got sick and gently encouraged me to do something about it. I was quite shocked by this, you get accustomed to how you look, sort of pretend to yourself that you look OK. I suddenly realized that I was being quite selfish, that my weight affected his life too, that I was making him worry.

As far as your husband is concerned well that's up to you to decide. In the end being mad will not achieve anything and will make you feel bad. If you sat down and talked with him, told him he hurt you by the way he spoke to you but anyhow you do want to lose weight and you are making a plan to take control of your health. Say you will need some help and support will be able to see from his reaction if he is worth keeping in your life. If he is pleased and gives you encouragement, support, love and understanding through the whole process then as far I am concerned, he would be a keeper. If he is just not bothered and only concerned with himself and what you look like then I would question whether I would want him in my life any more and you might be better going it alone, you do seem to be doing that at the moment anyway. Sorry to go on so much but I could see how upset you were and I know how you are feeling. Good luck x