How to stop obsessing and calorie counting

First... big congrats on your weight loss. Don't lose sight of all of the hard work you have put in to accomplish that.

As I get closer to my weight loss goal I have been thinking a lot about this topic. Here are my two cents worth. One of the main reasons I got overweight to begin with is because I did not have any control over what I was eating. Many times I ate just to be eating.

For me, I have had to change my mindset about counting calories. I don't look at it as an obsession, but more like I am taking control of my life instead of letting food control my life. Counting calories puts ME in control.

Good luck. Hope you find that balance that will help you maintain without driving yourself crazy.

I think this is what the OP is saying though, that now the opposite type of control has been taken by food... It's the Obsession of counting every calorie in an effort to KEEP full control. Like another person posted about looking at the menu in DD and not seeing the food, but rather considering the calories of this and that and what would need to be given up later to "afford" the splurge now. While food is no longer controlling our lives in a negative way, when do we back off the caliorie counting obsession and get back to living natural, worry free and not have to live by the thumb of MFP at hand....

To the OP I say this, you have been living this lifestyle for 4 years now. You know what you eat most and how that fits into your day. If it makes you feel hampered from life having to log every morsel, then don't. Log what you aren't sure of to gain the knowledge but otherwise pay attention to how you feel, how your clothing fits, and whether or not you are slacking or being true to your new you. Don't stop logging and decide "not logging; doesn't count!". Much the same to working out. You don't have to be as rigid as you were to get to your goal, the goal has been met, now you need only to maintain these healthy changes so you can move forward enjoying the fruits of your efforts. Now, being the goal attained is that of weight loss, then the new goal is to keep it off. That can be managed in phases the same as the loss was. Take it slow. Decide that from now on you will log only Mon-Fri OR since Mon - Fri sustanence doesn't vary much then maybe you decide to log the days you are more likely to binge (weekends) so it is a reminder that you don't want to return to that lifestyle of yesteryear...

No matter how you decide, letting go of the obsession can be exilarating and fun, but it can also lead us back to the woods we just battled our way out of. You need to keep control to a degree... the degree needs to be set by you and what you are able to handle without over stressing or returning to the old you.

Good job on your weight loss!! You sound like you have worked really hard to get where you are !

The mind set is the hard part to change... I too am scared of gaining back weight but allow me to encourage you.

8 years ago I was VERY overweight and when I Started loving myself the weight started to come off on its own.

I have never been ANYWHERE near the weight I was 8 years ago because I make better choices (diet & Daily Exercise) !!

Keep eating small meals throughout the day -
Keep EXERCISING
Keep planning your meals, there is nothing wrong with mentally thinking about the calories you are in taking, however, Give yourself a break ! Focus on the PRESENT not the PAST and do NOT worry about the FUTURE .. You will not fatten up over night ...

If a couple pieces of dark chocolate a day make you happy or a couple coffees then go for it, just make sure they fit into your caloric intake for the day - and reward yourself with a cheat day at some point ...

My best piece of advice is above... a cheat day on the weekend (within reason, I'm not talking binging here, I'm talking eating bacon and eggs for breakfast instead of oatmeal and fruit OR a night out at a steakhouse instead of fish and veggies)

*What keeps me from binging and cheating during the week is enjoying a coffee or two a day and my weekend cheat day*

IF you deprive yourself of everything you will binge and feel worse about yourself

Calorie counting is stupid. Macros is the way to go. 2000 calories can mean anything...230p-220c-50f means exactly the same total. My body is getting what it needs...2000 calories can come up empty.

Thank you very much OP for posting this, and thanks to everyone who's shared their experiences and advice. This is just the post I would've posted if you hadn't beaten me to it :flowerforyou:

in due time you will stop obsessing i guess ... > i stoped obsessing after i started logging MFP it does the adding for me so i dont have to waste time counting them out

This is an outstanding thread and an underappreciated aspect of losing a significant amount of weight.

There are many great suggestions on this thread. I've been in the exact same boat before and I can offer a few things that may not have been mentioned before.

When I'm in my routine (ie go to work etc), I basically have like 4-5 breakfasts, 4-5 lunches that I eat. I know the calorie counts in my head because I counted them so many times when I lost weight, and they're all more or less the same (usually 400-500 calorie breakfasts and 500-600 calorie lunches). I also have a bunch of 100-300 calorie snacks. I tend to eat breakfast, lunch, a mid-afternoon snack, and dinner every day. All of this makes up my "repertoire." All I ever have to count is dinner since I know my break/lunch/snack combos fall into a similar range every day.

That said, I rarely count anymore. I won't say never, one strategy for not obsessing every day is the "Check in" strategy. Don't count for a week... then check-in, see how you feel. If you don't like what you ate that week, adjust for the next. You can do this daily, weekly, or monthly, whatever works for you. That way, in the moment, you can say "I'll check in on that later and not worry about it now," which allows you not to worry now but gives you assurance that you'll reflect later when you have time and energy.

Sometimes, I won't count calories for a couple months then I'll count for a week just to "Check in." It's a great reminder and tool.

A few other things I'd suggest:

- Know there will be some trial and error, and that's ok and totally normal

- Noone's gonna notice if you gain 10lbs (seriously), which gives you plenty of time to make a change before anyone else notices if something's truly off.

- Know that your goal is to be happy, so enjoy food too in ways that are reasonable for you. You earned it after years of restricting and all the hard work. Now, you didn't earn a daily large pizza, but you earned a damn slice every once in a while.

- I'll also just reiterate to keep up with the exercise. I've noticed my exercise slips when I'm being really lax on food too. For what it's worth, I have been pretty surprised by how much more I can eat than I expected and maintain, especially if I keep up with the exercise.

Remember to focus on what makes you happy and to be kind to yourself: You've lost 100 already, that's amazing. Even if you gain 10 you've still lost 90lbs! You can "check in" any time you want. You know you're good at losing weight so you have the ability to adjust if necessary/desired. You know your lifestyle has changed so just live it!

When I'm in my routine (ie go to work etc), I basically have like 4-5 breakfasts, 4-5 lunches that I eat. I know the calorie counts in my head because I counted them so many times when I lost weight, and they're all more or less the same (usually 400-500 calorie breakfasts and 500-600 calorie lunches). I also have a bunch of 100-300 calorie snacks. I tend to eat breakfast, lunch, a mid-afternoon snack, and dinner every day. All of this makes up my "repertoire." All I ever have to count is dinner since I know my break/lunch/snack combos fall into a similar range every day.

This is also what I do. Sometimes I'll log a day, a week or even a month just to see how my macros are doing, see how new food choices are fitting into my food routine etc. Especially if I feel like I'm getting into less good habits, or if I change my training and might need more/less food. I also always log a new recipe on MFP to establish what a suitable portion size is, and the macro balance, so I know where abouts it can fit into my routine. For main meals, I go by a general rule of 150-200 cals carbs, 150-250 cals protein, 100-200 cals fat and a ton of fruit/veg. Snacks are more like 100 cals carbs, 100 cals protein, 100 cals fat + fruit/veg. It works pretty well, since I can eat out spontaneously and still hit my goals, and I don't have to pre-plan what I'm going to eat.

Weighing food is important for me, primarily for high-fat foods (almond butter, otherwise 1tbsp turns into 3) and starches. I don't weigh protein, fruit, veg, yoghurt etc since I can eyeball that to a close enough margin of error, and those are the bits which tend to vary depending on hunger too.

I would urge anyone struggling with obsessiveness to take a break from logging. I developed anorexia after becoming obsessed with calorie counting on MFP. While calorie counting doesn't *cause* anorexia or other eating disorders/mental health problems, it can definitely trigger it in someone who is predisposed to such a problem. We're all here because of a dedication to health, but without your mental health, your physical health isn't going to get very far.

It is so interesting how, on one hand, a person can be overweight and not even realize it and like themselves and be happy. And on the other hand, a person can lose weight and get fit but be unhappy.

Could it be that some of us lose weight by negative motivation, hating our fat …just wanting to get it off….and when we reach our goal we are left with negative feelings?.