How to stop obsessing and calorie counting
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Thanks, everything you have said sounds so sensible on paper. I have got a very good knowledge of health and nutrition my problem however is volume and my love affair with food. My husband jokes that I have food porn!!! I.e all my magazines, internet look ups and itv programmes are all food related.
Maybe just had a freak out since I am on holiday although still at home, not exercised as much and basically eaten what I want in the volume I want and now feel full bloated and my jeans are tight. Once I am back at work next week I can re focus and hopefully lead a more relaxed balanced lifestyle. More akin to the suggestion that you posted which makes sense;)0 -
Okay I got a chance to read the posts. I would agree with lots of them!
I have found maintenance to be more difficult than losing. I have been on maintenance for 3 years now, and in the last year I have gained nearly 10 pounds
It sounds like I am similar to you in not being able to use hunger cues to eat sensibly. Basically, I don't eat because I am hungry. I eat because I like food. I cannot trust my full-feeling after I eat, because basically, unless I just stuff myself, I don't feel full. I am trying to train myself to give my body about 20-30 minutes to register full, and that is helping some, but basically I stop eating only because I know intellectually that I have had enough. And so I must log, and probably I will have to log for the rest of my life.
The difficulty with maintenance and logging is that there is no room for error during maintenance. When you are eating at 500 calorie deficit, then if you are off by even 250, you still have a 250 deficit. But if you go over in maintenance you gain (or if you set your number below just in case, then you risk undereating and continuing to stress your body).
So for me the hard part has been finding the magic number.
In fact now I am obsessed because I can't seem to lose the pounds I regained. It is like the rules changed! I recently re set my numbers at what might be maintenance for me because I was so totally stressed out that nothing seemed to be working. In fact it seemed that when I took a larger deficit I GAINED! So now perhaps I have damaged my metabolism.
Anyway, I feel your pain. And I look forward to seeing any other responses.0 -
As I read through the posts, the one thing that really stands out to me is how sad it is that we become slaves to the weight, the calories, the "ideal" weight, and we lose sight of life. I am not judging because I also fight with all of the above. I am amazed at your strength, gillian and many others, that it took for you all to lose so much weight!! Be proud of yourselves. Hold your head high because that is incredible! One thing that I think is important is that we maintain confidence in our ability to do the right thing. We all get so caught up in the fear of re-gaining the weight that life is passing us by.
I have played what I call "The Numbers Game" for years and it never ends well. I become obsessive about calories burned (working out), calories ingested, questioning every item I put in my mouth.....until I am miserable. It's not fair to my loved ones who love me no matter what yet I push them away when I become so obsessed. Who wants to spend time with me if it seems that all I care about is my size?
I have now found a formula that seems to be working.
The first (and MOST important thing) is that I appreciate my body, all that it can do, even if it's not perfect. It will never be perfect but it can be pretty darn good!
The second thing is that I (loosely) keep track on MFP of my daily meals and snacks just to maintain awareness. I pay less attention to the calories and more attention to eating regularly....Breakfast,Snack,Lunch,Snack,Dinner,Snack. For the most part, I eat clean but I also allow myself some "fun food" here and there. I do find that the regular meals keeps my blood sugar in check.
The third thing is that I do my daily workouts so I always feel empowered. I don't always choose to do the hardest workout I own, sometimes I do something that's fun! I do wear a heart rate monitor to log calories burned but I have made a deal with myself that whatever the calories burned, it's all good! I used to beat myself up if I didn't burn 500 or 600 cals every workout but now I'm okay with whatever. As long as I get it in, I'm happy!
The fourth thing is that I have decided to take one day at a time. Each day, I do my best and try to be kind to myself. I know that if I follow my rules above, I will put myself in a great position to succeed.
One of the best articles I ever read was by Jamie Eason called "Calories are not evil". I wish I could share it with anyone who is interested but I guess I can't attach anything here. If you would like to read it, message me and I'll see what I can do.
Shara0 -
Perspective is an amazing thing;) I have had a bit of that over the past few days between the posts on here, spending some quality time with my family and having some major challenges with food and eating whilst on holiday. Today has been a good day so fingers crossed tomorrow will be too.
Thanks for your insight;)0 -
As many opinions, as many mouths. What works for Arnold Scwarzenegger has the same chance of producing the same biological results on me as I have of winning the euromillions. Actually bit lesser because the human genome is larger than the odds of euromillions. If you are looking for a definitive answer, look into peer reviewed journals. Same holds true for my advice to you. Since you asked:
A Slowcarb diet has been by far, the most non OCD and sustainable nutrition regime that works for me to dramatically reduce fat% when I am Cutting. Like this and the next three months. After achieving a 10-14% bf, I move on to the other part of the equation for fat loss, Muscle mass. Eventually reach optima.
Fat and protein will make you feel satiated in half the portion size than a bowl of rice and these nutrients are not translated by your body into fuel in the same way as carbs.
As a rule of thumb, judging your individual meals on fat,protein, roughage and carbohydrate content, in this order of priority, will automatically make you end up at a caloric deficit without counting calories.0 -
As many opinions, as many mouths. What works for Arnold Scwarzenegger has the same chance of producing the same biological results on me as I have of winning the euromillions. Actually bit lesser because the human genome is larger than the odds of euromillions. If you are looking for a definitive answer, look into peer reviewed journals. Same holds true for my advice to you. Since you asked:
A Slowcarb diet has been by far, the most non OCD and sustainable nutrition regime that works for me to dramatically reduce fat% when I am Cutting. Like this and the next three months. After achieving a 10-14% bf, I move on to the other part of the equation for fat loss, Muscle mass. Eventually reach optima.
Fat and protein will make you feel satiated in half the portion size than a bowl of rice and these nutrients are not translated by your body into fuel in the same way as carbs.
As a rule of thumb, judging your individual meals on fat,protein, roughage and carbohydrate content, in this order of priority, will automatically make you end up at a caloric deficit without counting calories.
This is definitely a good idea for some. 10 years ago I lost 30 pounds VERY quickly without counting calories by eating slow carbs and limiting sugar and refined carbs. It works. For me personally, though, it was not sustainable. I did great when I was eating at home, but because of my family, work, schedule, etc. I often find myself having to eat away from home and often in restaurants. So as soon as I relaxed and started living my life again, the weight flew back on, plus ten more pounds. I was able to maintain only about 8 months. Now, if you are able to primarily cook and eat at home, this is a great plan. It helped with the hunger/appetite too. I just have found it easier to have the more flexible calorie counting method. At least until the last year. . .0 -
As I read through the posts, the one thing that really stands out to me is how sad it is that we become slaves to the weight, the calories, the "ideal" weight, and we lose sight of life. I am not judging because I also fight with all of the above. I am amazed at your strength, gillian and many others, that it took for you all to lose so much weight!! Be proud of yourselves. Hold your head high because that is incredible! One thing that I think is important is that we maintain confidence in our ability to do the right thing. We all get so caught up in the fear of re-gaining the weight that life is passing us by.
I have played what I call "The Numbers Game" for years and it never ends well. I become obsessive about calories burned (working out), calories ingested, questioning every item I put in my mouth.....until I am miserable. It's not fair to my loved ones who love me no matter what yet I push them away when I become so obsessed. Who wants to spend time with me if it seems that all I care about is my size?
I have now found a formula that seems to be working.
The first (and MOST important thing) is that I appreciate my body, all that it can do, even if it's not perfect. It will never be perfect but it can be pretty darn good!
The second thing is that I (loosely) keep track on MFP of my daily meals and snacks just to maintain awareness. I pay less attention to the calories and more attention to eating regularly....Breakfast,Snack,Lunch,Snack,Dinner,Snack. For the most part, I eat clean but I also allow myself some "fun food" here and there. I do find that the regular meals keeps my blood sugar in check.
The third thing is that I do my daily workouts so I always feel empowered. I don't always choose to do the hardest workout I own, sometimes I do something that's fun! I do wear a heart rate monitor to log calories burned but I have made a deal with myself that whatever the calories burned, it's all good! I used to beat myself up if I didn't burn 500 or 600 cals every workout but now I'm okay with whatever. As long as I get it in, I'm happy!
The fourth thing is that I have decided to take one day at a time. Each day, I do my best and try to be kind to myself. I know that if I follow my rules above, I will put myself in a great position to succeed.
One of the best articles I ever read was by Jamie Eason called "Calories are not evil". I wish I could share it with anyone who is interested but I guess I can't attach anything here. If you would like to read it, message me and I'll see what I can do.
Shara
This
I learned to run. I adore running. I would run if it made me fat. I've found a Callesthenics program that gives me an ideal amount of structure vs flexibility. Getting better at these too things trumps scale weight or the number of calories I put in my mouth. They allow me to take a little time for myself and pays off in countless ways all through the rest of my life.
My new mantra is "don't diet and exercise. Fuel and train."
Those three cookies weren't me screwing up my diet. They were a conscious choice to let me maximize my run tomorrow.0 -
This is exactly how I would love to feel and think. For the most past I do! I run too, about 30-50k a week depending on what other workouts and strength training I do but I work out 5 days a week for 1-2 hours, so I really can if I wanted eat what I want. Mon- fir at work, no problems as routine allows me control. All breakfasts, lunches and diners are home made as I also have school lunches to organise and I want my daughter to have a balanced diet. Then at night I allow myself a small treat. Come the weekends though I go into panic mode as there is so much I want to eat. Like today. I know we are having a lovely big family dinner so I am trying to tell myself it is one day just relax and enjoy what you eat just do not OVER eat until stuffed and if you want a few chocolates or a few treats then st have them, it is Easter and I will run tomorrow so what is the big deal, big deal is that voice saying no do not do it and this is when I end up gorging and loosing control!!!!!! One question, how did you overcome that voice of negativity and tell yourself it is okay?0
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Hi
I am close to maintaining and have been maintaining many months after each of my weight loss journeys (after each pregnancy - I have 5 kids). I as well tend to obsess over calories but I found a great way to contain obsession and eating that really works for me (but only during maintenance - I have to feel the deficit in order to lose weight). Here is what I do: I have the same amount/food for breakfast every day so it becomes a no-brainer. Then I have a strict fast until lunch. No snacking in between meals! Then I have a healthy lunch that is at least half veggies. A normal dinner and … here comes the trick a bigger treat in the afternoon if I workout that day. A tiny treat (like 2 pieces of chocolate) if I do not work out. That way, I only have to keep two things in mind: no snacking between breakfast and lunch (it is ok to be hungry for a while, say 45minutes before lunch. That only means it is lunch time!). Second, bigger treats only when working out. If I have a bigger treat and don't work out, I have to cut back on dinner (only salad for instance). Simple rules, work forever.0 -
First off, CONGRATS!!!! I'm proud of you. You should be super PROUD, too!
I'm a long-term maintainer (over 10 years now). Sadly, abandoning all tracking around year 5 (thought I had meal planning and portion control *down*) caused me to slowly regain around 7 lbs/year (aka a 35lb gain over past 5 yrs). Luckily us big losers know how to take it off again, so no need to panic, right!
If anyone is interested, here are a few suggestions from this diet veteran:
1) Give yourself a weight gain threshold (ex: 10lb gain). And keep weighing weekly. If you go over that threshold, you start logging again. When you get safely below the threshold, you can stop logging. If you can stay below that threshold, you're golden... Just don't beat yourself up over minor fluctations. Set your max number and don't panic until you hit it.
2) If you are like me, you probably have some favorite healthy meals. Try to keep those in your regular rotation. Plan out your meals & snacks for the week (or at least 2-3 days out) so you don't go off the rails "freestyling" meals & snacks, especially when you are hungry and prone to poor decisions. If you are always great at breakfast or lunch, then don't sweat those meals. If dinner or snacking is problematic, then perhaps only log those.
3) Know your weaknesses. I know I have a problem with portion control, so I don't bring certain stuff into the house (for me, it's carbs - candy, ice cream, chips). If I want a treat, I have to get it outside my home (ex: a single serving of froyo from Red Mango)... not from the 10-gallon drum in my freezer. If you have certain diet weaknesses (ex: eating out), plan for it and make a battle plan (ex: limit eating out to 1 meal/week). For me, it's not bringing the problem stuff in my safe zone (my home).
4) Ya gotta make a commitment to keep up with the exercise even if you aren't logging. I went off diet, but then also went off exercise (goes back to losing my accountability when I stopped logging.) I guess ya gotta be realistic with yourself. If you move less, you eat less. If you move more, you can eat more. That's hard to do in maintenance, but not impossible. Just be aware of the potential pitfall.
That's all I got for now... I could go on, but it gets annoying! I hope that helps!!!
Really good advice. Keep in mind that your body wants to maintain; that's their preferred state. I cannot weigh and measure my food everyday for the rest of my life. For me, that's not a healthy relationship with food. I continue to log my food everyday, mostly because I want to keep an eye on my macros and micros. It doesn't bother me that my daily calorie count isn't as precise as it was when I was losing weight. The scale and how my clothes fit tell me that I'm still on track.0 -
First... big congrats on your weight loss. Don't lose sight of all of the hard work you have put in to accomplish that.
As I get closer to my weight loss goal I have been thinking a lot about this topic. Here are my two cents worth. One of the main reasons I got overweight to begin with is because I did not have any control over what I was eating. Many times I ate just to be eating.
For me, I have had to change my mindset about counting calories. I don't look at it as an obsession, but more like I am taking control of my life instead of letting food control my life. Counting calories puts ME in control.
Good luck. Hope you find that balance that will help you maintain without driving yourself crazy.
I think this is what the OP is saying though, that now the opposite type of control has been taken by food... It's the Obsession of counting every calorie in an effort to KEEP full control. Like another person posted about looking at the menu in DD and not seeing the food, but rather considering the calories of this and that and what would need to be given up later to "afford" the splurge now. While food is no longer controlling our lives in a negative way, when do we back off the caliorie counting obsession and get back to living natural, worry free and not have to live by the thumb of MFP at hand....
To the OP I say this, you have been living this lifestyle for 4 years now. You know what you eat most and how that fits into your day. If it makes you feel hampered from life having to log every morsel, then don't. Log what you aren't sure of to gain the knowledge but otherwise pay attention to how you feel, how your clothing fits, and whether or not you are slacking or being true to your new you. Don't stop logging and decide "not logging; doesn't count!". Much the same to working out. You don't have to be as rigid as you were to get to your goal, the goal has been met, now you need only to maintain these healthy changes so you can move forward enjoying the fruits of your efforts. Now, being the goal attained is that of weight loss, then the new goal is to keep it off. That can be managed in phases the same as the loss was. Take it slow. Decide that from now on you will log only Mon-Fri OR since Mon - Fri sustanence doesn't vary much then maybe you decide to log the days you are more likely to binge (weekends) so it is a reminder that you don't want to return to that lifestyle of yesteryear...
No matter how you decide, letting go of the obsession can be exilarating and fun, but it can also lead us back to the woods we just battled our way out of. You need to keep control to a degree... the degree needs to be set by you and what you are able to handle without over stressing or returning to the old you.0 -
Wish I could see your food diary.0
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Good job on your weight loss!! You sound like you have worked really hard to get where you are !
The mind set is the hard part to change... I too am scared of gaining back weight but allow me to encourage you.
8 years ago I was VERY overweight and when I Started loving myself the weight started to come off on its own.
I have never been ANYWHERE near the weight I was 8 years ago because I make better choices (diet & Daily Exercise) !!
Keep eating small meals throughout the day -
Keep EXERCISING
Keep planning your meals, there is nothing wrong with mentally thinking about the calories you are in taking, however, Give yourself a break ! Focus on the PRESENT not the PAST and do NOT worry about the FUTURE .. You will not fatten up over night ...
If a couple pieces of dark chocolate a day make you happy or a couple coffees then go for it, just make sure they fit into your caloric intake for the day - and reward yourself with a cheat day at some point ...
My best piece of advice is above... a cheat day on the weekend (within reason, I'm not talking binging here, I'm talking eating bacon and eggs for breakfast instead of oatmeal and fruit OR a night out at a steakhouse instead of fish and veggies)
*What keeps me from binging and cheating during the week is enjoying a coffee or two a day and my weekend cheat day*
IF you deprive yourself of everything you will binge and feel worse about yourself0 -
You aren't going to get bigger overnight. You have a lot of room to experiment around with what works best for you. Try spending a month eating to hunger cues and see where that gets you. If you are up more than a pound or two, you'll know that you need to keep tracking.
I couldn't have said it better myself. Well put!0 -
Calorie counting is stupid. Macros is the way to go. 2000 calories can mean anything...230p-220c-50f means exactly the same total. My body is getting what it needs...2000 calories can come up empty.0
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It's very difficult for people who lose weight to keep it off without the tools that got them there.
Why don't you start by not planning everything ahead? You could still track it all, but eat more or less what you feel like at the time , as long as it's mostly nutritious and fits into your daily limit. And budgeting for a small treat everyday or a larger one every few days is the best way to keep cravings from taking over your life and triggering holiday binge eating.
great idea, plan ahead and maybe it will be less work for you! I do agree that to keep the weight off you have to keep the tools around that helped you lose the weight. best of luck to you0 -
Thank you very much OP for posting this, and thanks to everyone who's shared their experiences and advice. This is just the post I would've posted if you hadn't beaten me to it :flowerforyou:0
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Thank you again to everyone who has given their thoughts. Feeling so much better this week sort of!!!!!! Now back at work and put on 7lbs on holiday and I was still working out but I did eat whatever, whenever and on quite a few days major binges because I thought it was holiday therefore anything goes!!!! But it made me feel awful!!!
Now back to it and have worked out everyday so far this week and eaten with good portion control ( although today I have never felt hungrier, and that is with plenty of protein, avacado, fruit and veg so far today). I know the extra couple of pounds will come off and this is the first time I have not freaked out about a little gain, however I cannot seem to shift the incessant mind chatter I have about food and constant thinking about what I can eat next and what I can allow myself. I would understand it if I did not allow a small treat at the end of the day or a cheat day but I do!!!!! The forever thinking about food is soooooooo draining I just make myself tired!!!0 -
in due time you will stop obsessing i guess ... > i stoped obsessing after i started logging MFP it does the adding for me so i dont have to waste time counting them out0
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I've been doing this for 7 years..went from 237 (ye gods) to 178.5 currently.
Every single time I've stopped logging my food & workouts, 1 day turned into 3 days turned into 2 weeks, and 10+ pounds gained.
Like a wise man once said, "It'll take me two weeks to undo three days of stupid."
For fat guys like me, it requires constant vigilance. That's all there is to it.0 -
This is an outstanding thread and an underappreciated aspect of losing a significant amount of weight.
There are many great suggestions on this thread. I've been in the exact same boat before and I can offer a few things that may not have been mentioned before.
When I'm in my routine (ie go to work etc), I basically have like 4-5 breakfasts, 4-5 lunches that I eat. I know the calorie counts in my head because I counted them so many times when I lost weight, and they're all more or less the same (usually 400-500 calorie breakfasts and 500-600 calorie lunches). I also have a bunch of 100-300 calorie snacks. I tend to eat breakfast, lunch, a mid-afternoon snack, and dinner every day. All of this makes up my "repertoire." All I ever have to count is dinner since I know my break/lunch/snack combos fall into a similar range every day.
That said, I rarely count anymore. I won't say never, one strategy for not obsessing every day is the "Check in" strategy. Don't count for a week... then check-in, see how you feel. If you don't like what you ate that week, adjust for the next. You can do this daily, weekly, or monthly, whatever works for you. That way, in the moment, you can say "I'll check in on that later and not worry about it now," which allows you not to worry now but gives you assurance that you'll reflect later when you have time and energy.
Sometimes, I won't count calories for a couple months then I'll count for a week just to "Check in." It's a great reminder and tool.
A few other things I'd suggest:
- Know there will be some trial and error, and that's ok and totally normal
- Noone's gonna notice if you gain 10lbs (seriously), which gives you plenty of time to make a change before anyone else notices if something's truly off.
- Know that your goal is to be happy, so enjoy food too in ways that are reasonable for you. You earned it after years of restricting and all the hard work. Now, you didn't earn a daily large pizza, but you earned a damn slice every once in a while.
- I'll also just reiterate to keep up with the exercise. I've noticed my exercise slips when I'm being really lax on food too. For what it's worth, I have been pretty surprised by how much more I can eat than I expected and maintain, especially if I keep up with the exercise.
Remember to focus on what makes you happy and to be kind to yourself: You've lost 100 already, that's amazing. Even if you gain 10 you've still lost 90lbs! You can "check in" any time you want. You know you're good at losing weight so you have the ability to adjust if necessary/desired. You know your lifestyle has changed so just live it!0 -
Thank you so much for writing what you did, reading it makes me want to hit my hit against a wall for being so stupid at times!!!!! Everything you said is on the money and I just need to remind myself more often.
I think that the comments and words of encouragement from everyone on this thread are amazing and it is an amazing feeling to know you are not the only person to feel so frustrated and controlled by what can only be one of the hardest journeys anyone can attempt.0 -
When I'm in my routine (ie go to work etc), I basically have like 4-5 breakfasts, 4-5 lunches that I eat. I know the calorie counts in my head because I counted them so many times when I lost weight, and they're all more or less the same (usually 400-500 calorie breakfasts and 500-600 calorie lunches). I also have a bunch of 100-300 calorie snacks. I tend to eat breakfast, lunch, a mid-afternoon snack, and dinner every day. All of this makes up my "repertoire." All I ever have to count is dinner since I know my break/lunch/snack combos fall into a similar range every day.
This is also what I do. Sometimes I'll log a day, a week or even a month just to see how my macros are doing, see how new food choices are fitting into my food routine etc. Especially if I feel like I'm getting into less good habits, or if I change my training and might need more/less food. I also always log a new recipe on MFP to establish what a suitable portion size is, and the macro balance, so I know where abouts it can fit into my routine. For main meals, I go by a general rule of 150-200 cals carbs, 150-250 cals protein, 100-200 cals fat and a ton of fruit/veg. Snacks are more like 100 cals carbs, 100 cals protein, 100 cals fat + fruit/veg. It works pretty well, since I can eat out spontaneously and still hit my goals, and I don't have to pre-plan what I'm going to eat.
Weighing food is important for me, primarily for high-fat foods (almond butter, otherwise 1tbsp turns into 3) and starches. I don't weigh protein, fruit, veg, yoghurt etc since I can eyeball that to a close enough margin of error, and those are the bits which tend to vary depending on hunger too.
I would urge anyone struggling with obsessiveness to take a break from logging. I developed anorexia after becoming obsessed with calorie counting on MFP. While calorie counting doesn't *cause* anorexia or other eating disorders/mental health problems, it can definitely trigger it in someone who is predisposed to such a problem. We're all here because of a dedication to health, but without your mental health, your physical health isn't going to get very far.0 -
I just have to say I really, really appreciate this post and the comments. Many times someone here asks for help and people start jump in to attack them and/or the other commenters. It drives me insane. So I really, really want to just say hello and thank you to all the positive and amazing people who are here giving support instead of criticism.
Thank you and I wish you all the best of luck!0 -
Ditto;))))))) We all seem to have a pretty good idea of good and bad food, balancing that food( for the most part anyway) we should just take our own advice and relax about the calorie counting and obsession;))))0
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I like this thread so saving for future ref, thanks ::bigsmile:0
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Trying out the not logging at the weekend!!!!!! Only one day in and cheese and biscuits then chocolate has been demolished!!!!!! Know what though I have been so good this week. Not just with food choices and portion control but not obsessing or panicking, so I enjoyed my cheese and my chocolate. One day off is allowed and come Monday it is back to normal. No freaking out, just living:))))0
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I'm a long way from goal but my intention is to kep tracking for about a month after hitting goal and then stepping away from the calorie counting.
I'd continue to weigh myself once a week and give myself a 5lb leeway for the natural daily fluctuations. Any time I weigh in over the 5lb limit I'd go back to full tracking for the next week or two until I'm back in the happy range.
I don't want to track every day for life, but at the same time I don't want to end up back where I started which has already happened in the past.0 -
It is so interesting how, on one hand, a person can be overweight and not even realize it and like themselves and be happy. And on the other hand, a person can lose weight and get fit but be unhappy.
Could it be that some of us lose weight by negative motivation, hating our fat …just wanting to get it off….and when we reach our goal we are left with negative feelings?.0 -
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