When did it hit you that you weren't fat anymore?

I am 134 lbs currently and I still see myself as chubby. I think it's because I carry all the extra weight around my middle section and when I look in the mirror that's all I see. I am literally like half of a centimeter away from a thigh gap (which wasn't my intention) but my belly is still there. Breaking point for me will probably be the moment when I sit down and don't see the bulge sitting on my lap.

I am still definitely in the Obese category at 5'4" and 260 pounds, but to remember that at my heaviest, I was between 335-350 (scales and I were not friends at that time), it is hard to believe I've lost around 80 pounds. My mental image of myself in my head is still somewhere in my early 20's, but every time I look in the mirror straight on, I'm glad to see my image. When I look at myself from the side, I feel like a beached whale because I still have the majority of my weight settled in my midsection, gut and butt. I know that I look leaps and bounds better than I did at my worst (there were jokes of where did my ex go, she must have eaten him...), but I am not who I want to be. I can't even identify with that me. I was so miserable and lost that truly, I can't find that mental place anymore, and for that, I'm incredibly thankful. Even the me that I was two years ago doesn't feel like me, either. It is like as of June 29, 2012, I was given a new lease on life and I'm not giving it back. A friend said a few days ago that one of her goals was to get thin enough that it was no longer politically correct for her to tell fat jokes... I sincerely thought, yes, this is awesome! My main goals are health, fitness, and quality of life, so I don't have a set goal per se, but I'm just ready to stop have people treat me differently. I don't want to have to shop at different stores...I don't want to _____. I just wanted to be me! I'm happy and sad all jumbled up reading this post - sad because so many of us will probably struggle the rest of our lives with these thoughts - and happy because at some point we may wake up and realized that WE were the ones to CHANGE our own lives!!

Technically, I'm not obese anymore, and I now have a BMI of 29, as of last week, which technically means that I'm just overweight

I am still fat/overweight (technically obese), HOWEVER, I am also half the size I used to be and I wear sizes 14 and 16. The changes hit me when I see my waist, neck and collarbones (I have those! Who knew?), or when one of my animals sits on my lap (I have that? Since when????). When I pull my jeans out of the dryer to fold, they just look so tiny (i.e. "Normal people sized").

That being said, I still avoid crowds, crowded areas and small spaces for fear of bumping into everything/everyone. I still mentally measure whether a chair will hold my weight, and I sit down as gingerly as possible while holding my breath in the hopes that it doesn't buckle under my weight. I lrecently left a regular, non-plus size store because I was so certain "they" would figure out I had no business attempting to shop there and nothing would fit anyway.

It takes time I suppose. It may take therapy. I guess I'll have a better clue when I get there.

I can completely relate!!

Do not feel sheepish about going to non-plus stores though! I wear a 14 right now and find that in some cases (like Victoria's Secret panties or Target misses tops) they have sizes bigger than I need, IN THE REGULAR SECTION. And I have a friend who was shopping in tons of non-plus stores at size 18/20 and finding cute clothes, she was just more bold than I was about that and would straight up ask the clerk "Do you have a jean that works on me?" (I would have sooner DIED and like you, still feel a bit nervous about this).

Honestly though I still don't know what's up with thinner ladies shopping at Lane Bryant. Like I said, I wear size 14 right now and sometimes a 12 and the stuff there is all huge on me and I still see women who have to be like a size 10 shopping in that store...why!? None of my business of course...but actually I wondered that when I was a size 22, and saw them in there. I get a $15 off $15 and go in and try on 5 shirts now to find the narrower cuts and it is a chore. Their 14 pants are way too big and a 14 anywhere else is great usually. I don't know if they are all shopping for bigger moms, daughters, or what!

Like many others.... I've been losing since January 2012 and I still am not there mentally or physically.

I still feel FAT, but I also know that I look and feel way better than I did when I weighed my heaviest!!! didn't help when I was laid off of my job I gained a little - UGH... well, this IS a lifestyle change - a marathon, not a sprint, I'm losing that weight & will get back to where I was and get to my goal weight at some point.

I'm down to 136 pounds at 5'4" And I still feel huge. I'm not sure that I'll ever feel thin in my head. I'm my head I'll always be larger than the other girls.

This has been a lovely post to read.
I am feeling nostalgic, sad, and motivated all together.
I remember that feeling. In 2009 I lost 45, was a size 2 to 4. The way I fit into chairs, looking at my jeans when I hung them to dry-so small! I remember "the" moment...I was in a department store and saw a woman across the way, and thought, "wow, she looks terrific!"

"She"...was me. I was left in tears.

I maintained for a couple of years, then started losing my mojo. Was tired all the time, unhappy, couldn't complete workouts. Turned out I was quite sick...hold onto your *kitten* and prepare for a year of us trying to kill you to cure you, type of sick. I lost weight during that time, but my body composition was destroyed. And when the dust settled, I started gaining...no ability to exercise and bad bad habits. It has been a year, I am doing better in the exercise department, my composition is better...my remaining guts are tolerating more of what I used to eat back then...starting to feel hopeful. Now, I had to have abdominal surgery *again*, FFS, and I know my chemistry is different, but things have been shaping up, so while I don't know if I can get back to *that* place...I feel like maybe I can get to somewhere I like better. Just move past this little setback.

Anyway. I have enjoyed reading your stories. They take me back to having been in that place. They remind me of what it *felt* like.
Thank you.

I still have 15 lbs to go but I do feel different but still overweight, I recently donated to bags of clothes that were to big, those were my "too small clothes" 4 months ago !

I haven't gotten to that point yet, but once I can see my abs, Ill say I'm not fat anymore. I'm hoping I'll be there by July since I'm going to California!!

I still don't see it even after 80 lbs. lost. Yes, I'm still in the heavy range, but you would think after 80 lbs....

And then I was in the gym the other day doing my thing on the elliptical. The opposite wall is solid mirrors and I avoid looking at it. And then I noticed this woman working out in the bright pink shirt. She looked like she belonged in the gym and was working her butt off. And then I realized it was me. It was a big victory because the gym is one of the places I have felt most uncomfortable about my size.

Just a few hours later I saw my fat self again. I think it comes and goes. Hopefully, there will be more times when I see myself as 'normal' and less of when I see myself as 'fat'.

I will always consider myself fat....

I'm really happy for You that You are feeling good about Yourself. Bless You!

thanks for sharing - i look at old pictures from when i first lost weight , and i still see a pretty big person , which is funny cuz i was wearing size 12/14 , which was down from a 28/30... now i am down to a 20 from a 26.. and i still dont "feel it" though i know i am smaller, because stuff in my closet that was too small is fine now..

when i can get into the 16s i was wearing 5 years ago when i got pregnant with my twins i will feel better and "know", and honestly i am not that far off now
now though im getting reallllllly impatient..