How to stop obsessing and calorie counting

Hi

To me it sounds like it's the stress around food and your every day life that is the biggest issue for you right now. You have spent 4 years doing this and most likely to maintain you can't drop that. I have read somewhere that it takes the body up to 7 years to accept a new weight and not wanting to get back to what it was before.

My suggestion would be to work on stress and try to learn how to relax your mind. I have a great app that I like that talks me into relaxing like meditating, it's in Swedish so won't link but I'm sure you can find one you will like. Try use it every day for 3 weeks and see if it does a difference. Then in future if you feel you are obsessing maybe lissening to it and doing a few min of meditation can help your thoughts to relax.

Good luck and grats on all the hard work you done especially the physical training.

I was overweight all my life until 2013, when I reached my weight goal, losing 57 lbs. Since than, your struggle is mine, too, and for me, maintaining is harder then losing. I discover myself all the time looking at food and seeing just calories. I eat a chocolate biscuit and immediately count that I have to fit that biscuit in my calories intake. I see calorie numbers flying all around and this can be so frustrating. Still, I'm convinced that I have to count all my life, if I want to maintain this weight and BFI. This said, I found this post to be very useful and I am curious about others dealing with the same problem.

bump

I haven't been logging or counting since December, but I am mindful of what I eat. Eight months of logging taught me to better evaluate my choices, and if I'm making one I know is high calorie, I eat less of it...or if I really want the whole thing, I adjust my eating afterward to compensate.

I'm a daily weigher--first thing in the morning. I know that's considered a no-no, but for me, it actually reduces anxiety rather than raising it. I start my day knowing I'm still on track. I have a mental range of 3 lbs, and if I weigh in at the top, while I know it could be simple fluctuation, I'm more mindful of my eating until it drops again. Mindful--not obsessed or stressed. I just pay more attention, i.e. how badly do I want that cookie today and if I really do, how about half instead?

Nothing wrong with taking 2-3 weeks away from hard calorie counting but I would still be mindful of what I'm eating.

I wish I were one of those people who didn't have to count calories all the time, but the hard reality is it's important for those who struggle with their weight to know what they're putting in their mouth most/all the time.

There is nothing more annoying than having to lose weight you already lost.

Flicking through your diary, I feel slightly concerned that you still seem to be eating to lose. A lot of the time your intake is around 1200-ish? Or are there just a few things you aren't logging?

I think the anxiety is completely understandable. But I think your shift of mindset has to be a psychological one - of recognising that you are slim now, that you don't have to battle to be slim. Accepting your new body is a big deal, and difficult to achieve.

Have you considered calculating and working to TDEE instead of using MFPs calcs and the variability that's produced by eating back cals? That might be easier to manage week to week?

Great thread!

And I totally understand and feel what you are saying.

Tagging for future reference.

This is a good tdee calculator:

http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/

TDEE is what you need daily in order to meet your goals (this is just what I understand it to be, so take what I'm saying with a grain of salt). So if you use this calculator, it should give you an idea of what you need on average daily to maintain your weight. It is very similar to what MFP does, except with TDEE, I don't think you eat back exercise calories, because those should already be factored into the TDEE amount.

However, since your goal is to stop counting calories, it may not be the best thing to do...

I, too obsess about calorie counting. I use MFP and obsess over it. I go to it numerous times a day to make changes or to ensure that I am eating the right things. I am obsessed with making sure that I eat the allotted amount too. As a task oriented person I view it as a job to be achieved. I mark off each item as it is taken in. If I do not eat it is good news, instead of bad. I know better in one part of my mind but the other part is in control. I am scared that I have developed an eating disorder. I will not eat something if it causes me to go over my caloric intake no matter how badly I am craving it. I am afraid it will make me fat even though the "right side of my brain " knows it will not make me fat. I will not eat it. I am tired of struggling. It makes me not want to track my food on MFP. I do not know if that is part of the problem. Please give input or advice. Thanks in advance .

First you just need to sit back and breath deep. I don't know if you have developed an eating disordered but what you describe I think happens to several of us...at least it did me.

I was so focused on "getting it right"...I forgot to enjoy the journey.

A few weeks ago I just had to face my obsession...food. This time not eating it...but thinking about it. I figured out that I was still letting food control me. So...

I quit worrying about macro/micro targets...quit worrying about did I have 5 servings of veggies and 2 fruits. I quit thinking about what my next serving of protein would be...how many carbs I had eaten. I stopped and just enjoyed my food. The only thing that I concentrated on was staying within my calorie goal.

Strange thing was...even with me not worrying about all of those details...at the end of the day...I had not only met my calorie goals but also those macro/micro ones. I think it proved to me...that I have the tools to eat healthy...I just have to rely upon them.

For a while I was also obsessed with exercise...not so much doing to much...just with if I was doing the right ones. I spent more time worrying about it than I did exercising...so I stopped...I went back to doing what I love to do...long walks through the city...hiking on trails...doing my errands on foot instead of using a car.

Oh...I also quit researching so much...trying to learn what to do...I just depended on what I know to do and what has been working in the past. I realized that I have already lost 65lbs in 8 months and what I learned through that will get me through the next 25 to 40 lbs. If I can't do it by this point I won't ever be able to maintain.

Sorry about getting so wordy...this has been on my mind a lot lately...letting the "process" take over...and not enjoying the "journey".

I want to look in to the mirror and not see how much more weight I have to lose...instead I want to be able to see...how far I have come.

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Just thought I could help out because I have recently gone through the same thing and seem to be figuring it out. I wanted to have all my numbers right ALL THE TIME. I thought going over one day would be the end of the world and was constantly counting. Eventually, I realized it wasn't healthy (NOT NECESSARILY DISORDERED...just wasn't making me happy with myself). I decided to let loose a little, which I was scared of (even posted a few times on the topic) and did away with logging on MFP for the most part. I am doing that for about three weeks and I have maintained (up to that point I was losing even though I didn't want to). I just used the eating schedule I already developed and kind of keep somewhat of a tally in my head of the calories I am eating to keep mindful. I have come off of eating things like "light" bread and moved to eating rolls/regular wheat bread. I am not so regimented with eating anymore (I eat when I am hungry, but when I need to snack, I know how substantial the snack should be to be healthy and satisfying and don't allow myself to overdo it). I have gone through Easter, A Family Celebration, and just a general weekend of letting go a little bit and haven't gained a pound! So I think as long as you stay mindful of what you're eating and allow yourself to enjoy stuff as well (YOU HAVE DEFINITELY LEARNED WHAT IS TOO MUCH!) you will start maintaining. Just try dumping MFP for a few weeks, you'll gain a MAX of like 1 or 2 lbs (which you most likely won't gain if you just stay mindful of your intake). If it works, stick with it! If for some reason it doesn't just go back to the drawing board...

- I'll also just reiterate to keep up with the exercise. I've noticed my exercise slips when I'm being really lax on food too. For what it's worth, I have been pretty surprised by how much more I can eat than I expected and maintain, especially if I keep up with the exercise.

Truth!!!!!