Asking my boyfriend to lose weight...without hurt feelings!

If any guy said he wanted his girlfriend to lose weigh this thread would become a nightmare. If he doesn't want to do it, you can't make him and shouldn't try.

If any guy said he wanted his girlfriend to lose weigh this thread would become a nightmare. If he doesn't want to do it, you can't make him and shouldn't try.

The entire reason I got serious about losing weight is because 4 weeks ago, he told me I could lose a few when I mentioned that my scrubs were getting too tight. I didn't get offended, I know he loves me regardless, but it still stung.

I just (as in a few minutes ago) had a conversation with him about both of our weights. I told him how we both needed to make significant changes, and told him I'm noticing he's getting out of breath easier during certain activities, and that we'd both have more energy if we didn't sit around. He was surprised about the wheezing thing, but had noticed a marked decline in his stamina, and we've made plans to get the bikes out of the garage and start riding.

Right, most women have double standards about this, if a woman wants her significant other to lose weight its believed to be about health, but if a man wants his woman to lose weight its all about appearance, its an interesting double standard.

Although you can't make him, I don't really think you can rightly say you truly care about the other person if you don't try. I say great job in going about this in a non threatening way, and keep it up. Talk about how you would like to do certain activities together more, try to get fun exercise with him, focus on what you want to do with him and how you want him to be around, how you want his health to be good so he can be with you for a long time, and be an example for him, less on the money focus, its obviously not as important to him anyways. If its truly about caring for him, there is every reason to at least try to help him find his motivation.

Dont bother with the "dump him" replies, they can't be bothered to formulate a response to you but want to stir things up regardless.

I think you're getting some good advice already. Tell him in all honesty how you feel but know you can't make him change, he has to want it for himself and in the meantime focus on your own goals and reach them.

Good luck!

Let me just say that I love my boyfriend, and would stick with him no matter the weight. He was on the chunky side when he and I first got together, but that's ok with me.

However, over the last several months, he has put on a lot of weight. It's because he eats out at least once a day, it's always junk food, and it's always a pretty large amount. He's also a pretty big pop drinker. This has also affected my own weight because sometimes it is easier to say, "yeah let's go get something on the way" rather than make something at home. That's something I've worked hard at fixing, and aside from what I gained from my cycle, I've actually lost about 6 lbs so far, but his eating habits have remained, and it's getting hard to deal with. Even our sex life is affected. He pretty much squishes me. (Sorry, tmi)

He has expressed interest in working out and will say he wants to go for walks etc... But when it comes down to it, he doesn't go.

We have actually argued a couple of times over how expensive eating out is, and since he also smokes a pack a day, he's dropping approximately $400 a month on fast food and cigs.

I realize he's a grown man, and can make his own choices, but I worry about his health. Diabetes runs in his family, not to mention the smoking. I don't want to nag him, I don't want him thinking I'm no longer attracted to him, but I would like a healthier boyfriend. Not only for his sake, but for my own health as well.

Any advice?

Dont bother with the "dump him" replies, they can't be bothered to formulate a response to you but want to stir things up regardless.

I think you're getting some good advice already. Tell him in all honesty how you feel but know you can't make him change, he has to want it for himself and in the meantime focus on your own goals and reach them.

Good luck!

Thanks for taking time out of your busy day to judge and dismiss me and what advice I sincerely gave. You don't know me, I don't know you. I'll not leap to conclusions without knowledge about you or your background. There is a heck of a lot of life experience behind my thoughts on the subject. I've been married for 19 years to a wonderful plump wife who smokes. She has given me three wonderful children and treated me better than I deserve. I was morbidly obese, now I am just obese and losing. She is on a diet and losing as well. I accept and love here how she is as I'm sure she does me. I'm older than her by 9 years and made it damn clear when we were dating that I am who I am, will not change and if she was thinking she could change me then she should just move on. If the OP's love for her BF is what she says then she should be her own person and love him as he is. If she feels the need to try to change him then she should move on because he will only change when he wants to if at all. If her love for him is unhealthy then she should take care of herself first. Hey but you knew all that about me when you so quickly dismissed what I had to say.