Goal reached. Family horrified.

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Replies

  • rileysowner
    rileysowner Posts: 8,337 Member
    You look fine. If people are used to you chubby, they will have to adjust to how you look at a healthy weight. Frankly, I would suggest having a doctor check you over and respond with you healthy stats.

    My own experience was even when I was still considered obese, people were telling me to stop losing weight since I had lost about 30 or so pounds. I knew I was still at an unhealthy weight, so there was not an option but for me to continue, and so I do.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    They're just not used to seeing you thin. You look fantastic and should be proud of yourself. They'll get used to it eventually.
  • PrimalGirl
    PrimalGirl Posts: 148 Member
    All I can say is, I look like the you on the left, and I WANT to look like the you on the right.

    Your family might be worried that you're just going to keep on losing and end up making yourself ill, or maybe the Skyping stretched you out or something?

    I think you look fabulous, and I think it would hurt whether or not you lacked self-confidence or had low self-esteem - it always does when those closest are harsh. My fiance told me the other night I was getting a muscular back and I found myself apologising. He said he didn't mind, but he didn't exactly say he loved it either. We'll have to see what he says when I lose more fat and the muscles are more defined...
  • shadyj26
    shadyj26 Posts: 102 Member
    You look great! I would not worry about what other people has to say. You know what's best for you.
  • BaldheadSlick
    BaldheadSlick Posts: 51 Member
    Your dad may have great credentials and knows about fitness, but many times "pros" are harder on their own family than they ever would be with someone else. I'm assuming that your family members that are picking on your 15 lbs. must be completely dialed-in physique wise themselves right????

    If you like what you see when you look in the mirror, that's all that counts.
  • happyjack1976
    happyjack1976 Posts: 74 Member
    You look fantastic. Keep in mind they haven't seen you in person (at least that's what I'm getting from your post).

    If you're eating healthy, exercising and feel healthy, then who are they to say "ew" to you?

    You look fab!
  • Fitfully_me
    Fitfully_me Posts: 647 Member
    OP, You look great. Not too thin, and certainly nothing even remotely close to EW! (whatever the heck that even means)

    Also,

    [/quote]

    Ok. Well, keep your emotional distance and don't let them damage you further than they have in the past.
    [quote/]

    From what you've said, your family members seem to have the wrong approach to talking about weight issues, etc. I would say try your best not to take their comments to heart.

    Edit: not sure why it clipped my quote.
  • MelonJMusic
    MelonJMusic Posts: 121 Member
    Alabama explains a lot. Not an insult, but their perception maybe greatly skewed as it is #2 in the country for obesity. Most women there are a "Southern healthy" weight. But I feel you, my family is horrified at my goal weight even though theyve seen me at it. Im Puerto Rican and Dominican, so culturally being even fit/thin means I need the greasiest sauciest food bc I'll "look like I'm starving" to them. My dad is the only one holding his tongue bc he actually knows a thing or two about fitness. But I am definitely expecting the same reaction you had with my other fam members. I just tune em out. And believe me, theyre loud lol.

    PS, most fams are this brutal. My husband (white guy) looks his best at 150. All his fam said he looked "scary" and "sallow". I just wanted to punch them. Not the case at all!

    All that to say:
    You look incredible. They're crazy. Tune em out. Go enjoy yourself!!! And congratulations on looking so good!!!
  • fitgrl124
    fitgrl124 Posts: 6 Member
    I think you look incredible and healthy!!!!!!!!! You've achieved a huge success and I think you should be so proud!
  • chasingdreams18
    chasingdreams18 Posts: 110 Member
    I think you look great! Sometimes you just have to take what families say with a grain of salt.
  • juliezum
    juliezum Posts: 92 Member
    Family!....can't live with or without 'em. And family's brutal honesty can't get a bit much. Having said that, you look perfect on the right and apparently there are 8 pages of posts that agree. So what is that?, about 100 to 3...majority rules! Congratulations on your healthy new life and body....you look amazing.
  • VoodooAborisha
    VoodooAborisha Posts: 147 Member
    All I did was take 9 months to lose 30 lbs to get from a bmi of overweight, and now I am in the middle of the "normal" or "healthy" bmi and I am currently maintaining. I did it by eating at a 20% reduction, as advised by many calorie calculators, approved by my doctors and personal trainers, and now I am eating at my TDEE to maintain.
  • Dreamerryu27
    Dreamerryu27 Posts: 281 Member
    You look ideal. Healthy and in great shape. I think people have negative reactions because they so used to you looking one way (Heavier) that when you make all the healthy changes you have and now look fit they react with a bit of shock and I hate to say jealousy. Don't let anyone steal you thunder. Your working hard for this so enjoy your hard work and dedication and the result.
  • andiechick
    andiechick Posts: 916 Member
    I think you look great. Families think they can say what they want without worrying about our feelings (my mother is a prime candidate) but unfortunately they don't often think before they speak. Your face has a nice slim shape to it without looking gaunt, so if you're happy, then stay the way you are x
  • DeterminedFee201426
    DeterminedFee201426 Posts: 859 Member
    if your comfortable with your changes you need to ignore your family opinion and go with your own make sure your happy you worked for it now keep it . your the one who has to deal with your body everyday not them if you put all that weight back on that may be a huge mistake in my opinion ..
  • sapphies
    sapphies Posts: 45 Member
    You look great. They are the ones with issues!!! What kind of family talks behind your back, who says eww your face and who would say you're to fat go join sumo wrestling????? Toxic, jealous people! That's who. You need to set boundaries. Explain to them that their opinions are not needed, and they should keep them to themselves. Your happiness and self love has to come from with in; not others.
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member

    I would redirect you to read the entire post about the 1104 calories, as well as other replies in this thread, because I gave sufficient information about the calorie counters, books, doctors, and personal trainers I have talked to who have given the 100% stamp of approval to what I did.

    I read the whole thing, and it was debunked rather voraciously. Also, it was discovered that you aren't even logging your food consistently.

    But it's no matter. What you think or say to your family may or may not be the same as it is on MFP. It doesn't excuse their extreme rudeness about your appearance. You should probably stop talking to them since you're an ocean away anyway.
  • babydaisy81
    babydaisy81 Posts: 218 Member
    I agree with everyone else, you look amazing. And happy! Add you lost the weight by doing everything properly as well, so don't listen to any negative remarks!
  • nikkiworld2
    nikkiworld2 Posts: 75 Member
    I think you look Terrific! And, your face is not EW. Just keep up the good work with maintaining. Don't listen to their negativity. Only you know how good you feel at this better, healthier weight.
  • tazhinshaw
    tazhinshaw Posts: 297 Member
    First of all - you look AMAZING.
    Second - they've seen you with the fuller face and body all this time and especially when they've been use to you looking a certain way it can be a sort of shock seeing so much loss.
    I've seen friends who lost weight and it was a bit shocking at first because I wasn't use to seeing them that way.

    Try to just stay positive about how wonderful you look now :) good job
  • SailorSarah311
    SailorSarah311 Posts: 172 Member
    You look great! I have to wonder how the people that are making these negative comments look physically. Are they in shape? Some people will make negative comments because they are jealous that you succeeded in completing a goal. They are your family, they have to be somewhat critical. They don't have to be so negative though. I think you are perfectly healthy looking. Don't let them discourage you from doing a great job.
  • shunge86
    shunge86 Posts: 5 Member
    Don't listen to a word of it. You look amazing! Some people can't take when others are successful but it's a shame when it's your family. Congrats on your loss!
  • 2013sk
    2013sk Posts: 1,318 Member
    You look amazing!!!

    Family can make some funny comments at time, and don't even think what they are saying, or more so how there comments will affect you.

    My mum does this from time to time......... AND IT PISSES ME OFF!!!!!

    But I just try to rise above it, and do my own thing! If your happy that is all that matters!

    I think they just don't want you to get too skinny that's all. You just need to say..........

    Hey........ I am eating really well & enjoying fitness..... BUG OFF!!!

    Your Dad should know this : )

    Keep up the fab work, You should be so proud of yourself
  • SailingCrab
    SailingCrab Posts: 2 Member
    You look amazing, and there is NOTHING wrong with your face. They will get used to it, it's just not what they are used to. What an incredible accomplishment!
  • ARDuBaie
    ARDuBaie Posts: 378 Member
    You're beautiful and they are jealous. If you feel good at this weight, then enjoy it and let them wallow in their jealousy.
  • megans1980
    megans1980 Posts: 22 Member
    Right with the other 9 pages of posts......

    You look amazing and they need to stop being jealous :)
  • 2dogzrule
    2dogzrule Posts: 245 Member
    You look great, I think they are just jealous :wink:
  • KellyKMullis
    KellyKMullis Posts: 4 Member
    You look wonderful! You know that you've earned this healthy body the correct way, so dont second guess yourself!
    Family is important but sometimes bad advice comes from them too, they are human. Im 42 and married and my dad still asks me when I'm going to get back to "courting size". Sometimes they jsut say stupid things.
    Enjoy your healthy self and continue to be happy!!!!!!!!
  • garrods
    garrods Posts: 6
    You look beautiful!!!!! You and your opinon are the only thing that matters. If you like what u see and how u feel then ignore them, they will get use to the new You.
  • FierceLisa
    FierceLisa Posts: 38 Member
    In my personal opinion you look good in a healthy way. I don't think you are to skinny or that you have over did it at all. You look healthy. Sounds like your family is just concerned that's better than not caring at all though. They are just going about it totally wrong. I think you should tell them how it makes you feel when they make these types of comments.

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