Goal reached. Family horrified.

PolacaFL

You look great! Maybe they think you are starving yourself and they are probably just not used to seeing your face this thin anymore...

When my sister first lost a lot of weight I had to get used to her eyes looking so large for her face lol She looked great but just different than I was used to.

If you know you are eating enough and exercising then there is nothing to worry about.

meeulk

I think you look great and healthy! I'm so sorry your family isn't supporting your personal mission to be healthy. (keyword there is personal!)

imju5tme

Wow... your family is either NOT seeing YOU, or they are misguided.

May I point out that the first picture of your face looks to be from '93, and I'm presuming the 2nd is much more recent. That's a lot of time between those two, and without the intent to flatter, I think you look better and healthier in the newest of the two.

You look absolutely lovely. I see a strong, healthy, fit, and beautiful woman. Your skin is flawless, your hair looks healthy, and you have a shape that many women would kill for (and many of us are working hard to acquire/regain). Yes, I know I'm focussing on the outward appearance here, but that seems to be what they are observing, as well. You feel better and stronger and healthier. You are better able to do the things in your life that you wish to do.

I'd say you did it right. :flowerforyou:

ssgavin87

You look fantastic! It doesn't matter what the PhDs in your family say, I would focus on how you feel about you. You lost the weight in a healthy way, look fantastic in a bathing suit and your face is beautiful. Even when they are "trying to be helpful" family can hurt worse than anyone else.

BigT555

you look awesome:) congrats on reaching your goal!

as for your family, i imagine they are just concerned, although they didnt voice it very well. i get the whole "you should stop losing weight" from my mom all the time, its frustrating but i know she is just worried that ive developed some sort of eating disorder. if it persists just talk to them about it, but unfortunately theyres not a whole lot else you can do

airangel59

LOL, you just can't win it seems. I too have been having a bit of that, especially since my face shows the loss more, or that is the first thing friends & family see.

You look awesome. Don't let anyone tell you differently. Years ago when I lost (before I yo yo'ed it and then some back on) I stupidly believed what I was told (and I was in the BMI range as you are) and the weight slowly came back on.

As long as you are eating enough to maintain the loss and to not lose anymore I'm sure the family will adjust to the new you. Mine had been so used to seeing the heavier me for so long it does take time for everyone to adjust.

wyattj99

Some ppl can be mean well but not in a good ...so they have credentials behind their names, doesn't mean they know anything,

donnacarew

You have done amazing and you look beautiful:happy:

EvgeniZyntx

Dissenting voice: I'm curious as to the other side of the story. Your family is obviously not a bunch of yahoos, and your opinion on the board on a few things has raised a few read flags. Is their concern truly about how you look or about your eating habits?

DeterminedFee201426

you look fine and healthy whats the prob :0 maybe they just use to you being heavier

VoodooAborisha

OP, you look fine. But since you posted this last week:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1274911-1200-cals-is-just-fine-1100-is-just-fine-too-if

Could it be that your family is just concerned for you?

No, they would not be concerned by my calorie intake at all, as that information was accurate; if you read the post, it continues to say that these numbers are okay if... you are short, and any calorie calculator will tell you the same. My sister is a nurse as well as also being a shortie, so she is well aware of the comparatively lower calorie requirement for short people when they try to lose weight, and we have even discussed that in the past when SHE was trying to lose weight. That post was based on calorie calculations from http://scoobysworkshop.com/accurate-calorie-calculator/ which most people here on MFP swear by, and they are the same calorie guidelines as prescribed several of my fitness books, all written by nurses and doctors, and in a private consultation with Jorge Cruise, he told me that short women should be eating no more than 1200 calories. Finally my doctor also approves of my calorie intake and said, and I quote, "keep doing what you are doing." Also my chiropractor is thrilled, because the weight loss has made all my lower back problems go away. I understand that certain people on FB do some scaremongering about these numbers, however the best books, online sources, and live consultations with doctor and personal trainers I have had have 100% approved the 1100 - 1200 calorie range for my height, weight, and age while I was losing weight - but that is another story in another thread!

That being said, I am currently maintaining at my TDEE - since I am not trying to lose weight, I am no longer eating at a 20% reduction. And furthermore, not a single person in my family knows my daily calorie intake, or has an idea of what I eat. They live in Alabama and I live in Denmark and they have not seen nor been able to assess my eating habits since I was last there 18 months ago - at which point they would have seen me eating barbeque and chocolate pie anyway - which is certainly something to worry about! LOL

My family's comments are made solely by the pictures I have posted on here on MFP.

littlelaura

you look fine, very pretty. I think as people lose weight they loose the plumpness in their cheeks and that gives a more youthful glow but usually in people who have lost a lot of weight. But I don't see that in your case, you look healthy to me and not too thin. Maybe buy a powdered bronzer lol they will think you have a natural glow again lol.

imju5tme

They live in Alabama and I live in Denmark and they have not seen nor been able to assess my eating habits since I was last there 18 months ago - at which point they would have seen me eating barbeque and chocolate pie anyway - which is certainly something to worry about! LOL

My family's comments are made solely by the pictures I have posted on here on MFP.

The part about them living in Alabama pretty much says a lot of it. And before anyone gets mad about that comment, I happen to live in Alabama (and have for many years), as well, and have run into this mentality many times. The perception of a 'healthy weight' here tends to be on the heavier side of things. :ohwell:

Jillian130

I think you look stunning. And I also think that your family is a little jealous, I mean c'mon, your Dad was an ex-Olympian and played football, so he should know better. He probably wishes HE was back at his former athletic weight and had the physique he once did, and here you are looking amazing and healthy to boot.
I'd say pay them no mind. Its YOUR lifestyle, you worked hard to get healthy, feel great and look great, and they are just going to have to live with that. From what you said you exercised, ate healthy so whats wrong with that? It'd be different if you starved yourself or popped diet pills but you didn't. You worked for it. You earned it. Be proud of it.

VoodooAborisha

Dissenting voice: I'm curious as to the other side of the story. Your family is obviously not a bunch of yahoos, and your opinion on the board on a few things has raised a few read flags. Is their concern truly about how you look or about your eating habits?

No, they just have the photos which you have seen. I live in Denmark and they live in Alabama. They haven't seen my eating habits since Christmas 2012. They have no idea my calorie intake or daily meals or anything.

That being said, I follow the calorie calculations based mainly on this website: http://scoobysworkshop.com/accurate-calorie-calculator/ however I have doubled checked these values with several of my fitness books written by nurses and doctors, as well as consultations with personal trainers and doctors. My calorie intake has been carefully regulated along the way - i.e. each time I dropped 5 or 10 lbs, I recalculated to make sure I was always eating enough, and not too much.

My calorie intake now that I am maintaining and am at a higher fitness level is substantially higher than it was when I was losing at a 20% reduction. I have done it all "by the book." No fad diets, no starvation. Nice and slow, over 9 months.

obum88

Looks like you went from skinny fat to skinny fit. Now you are from AL and that could also play a role. Women aren't suppose to be so skinny in the southern states that's how a lot of the older generation feels or even exercise in the conventional sense.

delicious_cocktail

You look different from what they're used to.
The change, they could not watch gradually - so it probably seems abrupt.

I think you look delicious.

sungvars

Why would your family want to discourage you? You look incredible. A perfect weight for you. DO NOT LISTEN TO YOUR FAMILY!

seltzermint555

They have a picture of you in their minds eye and seeing you now shocks them. You will have to give them time to put the new you in their minds eye. Its not you, its them! You look great!

I completely agree with this and other advice above in a similar vein.

However, I also think your family needs to get themselves in check. It's never okay to say "your face...ewww!" to anyone for any reason.

EvgeniZyntx

Dissenting voice: I'm curious as to the other side of the story. Your family is obviously not a bunch of yahoos, and your opinion on the board on a few things has raised a few read flags. Is their concern truly about how you look or about your eating habits?

No, they just have the photos which you have seen. I live in Denmark and they live in Alabama. They haven't seen my eating habits since Christmas 2012. They have no idea my calorie intake or daily meals or anything.

That being said, I follow the calorie calculations based mainly on this website: http://scoobysworkshop.com/accurate-calorie-calculator/ however I have doubled checked these values with several of my fitness books written by nurses and doctors, as well as consultations with personal trainers and doctors. My calorie intake has been carefully regulated along the way - i.e. each time I dropped 5 or 10 lbs, I recalculated to make sure I was always eating enough, and not too much.

My calorie intake now that I am maintaining and am at a higher fitness level is substantially higher than it was when I was losing at a 20% reduction. I have done it all "by the book." No fad diets, no starvation. Nice and slow, over 9 months.

Your family also is aware of your history of extreme depression and anxiety for over 10 years, I assume. This might color their perception. You look great and you did it the right way. If the loss was perceived as rapid, if you talked about it, if there are other actual or historical concerns or even the distance from them can all factor in.

Or, we can take it at face value and your family members are uncaring idiots.

Note - I'm not criticizing your method or results but why do you think your so highly educated family is wackadoodle?


Btw - scooby is just one of many calculators, no better or worse than many.

Spiderkeys

Me after losing over 120 Pounds, I went from serverly obese to obese to overweight now wham in the middle of the ideal weight range, I also now weight the same I was when I was 17.

My family is horrified, it gets annoying people telling to gain weight, even sneakly spicing up my dinners with extra calories, and encouraging me eat bread with all my meals.

I don't care, they gonna have to get used to the 'new' me, I got in this shape to stay, not for a temporary experiment, I never felt so alive and fit, reverse dieting would just be unthinkable.

Anyway congratulations, I hope your familiy soon see you as the real you, and not in the past.

truebliss185

I think you look great. Family can be our worst critics. Be proud of what you accomplished and shine on.

JennaM222

you look HEALTHY, FIT, AND STRONG!!!! YOU GO GIRL!!!

igottacomeup

Your family means well. Don't be too hard on them. Just smile, and keep working toward your goals. What's most important is that you feel great about yourself. You only have one life to live, so live it for you - not them. Still love them though; after all they are family.

BusyRaeNOTBusty

I agree with the 6 pages of everyone else. You look great. You still have a healthy level of body fat storage. Your face does NOT look overly thin at all.

Congratulations.

My dad also likes to tell me I'm too thin. He usually shuts up when I tell him the actual number on the scale.

ItsCasey

That being said, I am currently maintaining at my TDEE - since I am not trying to lose weight, I am no longer eating at a 20% reduction. And furthermore, not a single person in my family knows my daily calorie intake, or has an idea of what I eat. They live in Alabama and I live in Denmark and they have not seen nor been able to assess my eating habits since I was last there 18 months ago - at which point they would have seen me eating barbeque and chocolate pie anyway - which is certainly something to worry about! LOL

Look, I've read your stuff. You have some pretty extreme views on diet, ranging from eating 1104 calories a day to thinking animal products cause 97% of heart attacks. I find it hard to believe that you've never had these discussions with your family of Olympic athletes and medical professionals.

But okay. Maybe they really are just jerks, in which case, why do you even bother sending them pictures of yourself for them to critique?

DaivaSimone

That being said, when I was this weight the last time, back in the 1990's, I was doing 4 hours of ballet a week plus cheerleading and marching band, was in great shape, and at that time these same people said, "you need to quit ballet - you are too fat. They don't take short fat girls in ballets. You need to join the football team or find a Sumo Wrestling club." AT THE SAME WEIGHT I AM NOW, where they are saying "your face - EW!"

Ok, so, when you were seventeen years old, at one of the most vulnerable stage of your life, your family said that their active teenage girl weighing about 115 pounds was fat and needed to wrestle in a sumo club.

Is that right?

Please, stop talking to your family.

Julzanne72

First off I can't beleive your family is so unsupportive. I have seen too thin, and you are not that at all. You have had great sucess and look amazing. Be proud of your successes. Haters gonna hate;)

VoodooAborisha

Dissenting voice: I'm curious as to the other side of the story. Your family is obviously not a bunch of yahoos, and your opinion on the board on a few things has raised a few read flags. Is their concern truly about how you look or about your eating habits?

No, they just have the photos which you have seen. I live in Denmark and they live in Alabama. They haven't seen my eating habits since Christmas 2012. They have no idea my calorie intake or daily meals or anything.

That being said, I follow the calorie calculations based mainly on this website: http://scoobysworkshop.com/accurate-calorie-calculator/ however I have doubled checked these values with several of my fitness books written by nurses and doctors, as well as consultations with personal trainers and doctors. My calorie intake has been carefully regulated along the way - i.e. each time I dropped 5 or 10 lbs, I recalculated to make sure I was always eating enough, and not too much.

My calorie intake now that I am maintaining and am at a higher fitness level is substantially higher than it was when I was losing at a 20% reduction. I have done it all "by the book." No fad diets, no starvation. Nice and slow, over 9 months.

Your family also is aware of your history of extreme depression and anxiety for over 10 years, I assume. This might color their perception. You look great and you did it the right way. If the loss was perceived as rapid, if you talked about it, if there are other actual or historical concerns or even the distance from them can all factor in.

Or, we can take it at face value and your family members are uncaring idiots.

Note - I'm not criticizing your method or results but why do you think your so highly educated family is wackadoodle?


Btw - scooby is just one of many calculators, no better or worse than many.

Unfortunately, my family says mean things to each other all the time, about any and all topics. This just hurt because I had worked so hard to lose the weight, and I got these big honking arm muscles and sweet abs now and I am so proud of them. Also I think it I was hurt because the last time I was at this weight, they told me how fat I was and that I needed to drop out of my ballet classes because I was an embarrassment. My dad stopped coming to my ballet recitals because he said I was an embarrassment, because at 5 foot 1 inch and 117 lbs, he said was so fat that he thought I should "join the sumo wrestling team instead." I didn't stop doing ballet, because I knew that I was actually in shape, and that he was being a butt, however it still hurt.

AglaeaC

You know what, even healthcare professionals are still taught contradicting stuff, so I wouldn't worry too much about their comments. If you feel your numbers are healthy and people here agree with you, that should be enough. Photos don't show the gradual change to them the way your mirror has been with you from the beginning, and you have been along for the whole ride; only you know what your strong body feels like from the inside.