Goal reached. Family horrified.

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Replies

  • SailorSarah311
    SailorSarah311 Posts: 172 Member
    You look great! I have to wonder how the people that are making these negative comments look physically. Are they in shape? Some people will make negative comments because they are jealous that you succeeded in completing a goal. They are your family, they have to be somewhat critical. They don't have to be so negative though. I think you are perfectly healthy looking. Don't let them discourage you from doing a great job.
  • shunge86
    shunge86 Posts: 5 Member
    Don't listen to a word of it. You look amazing! Some people can't take when others are successful but it's a shame when it's your family. Congrats on your loss!
  • 2013sk
    2013sk Posts: 1,318 Member
    You look amazing!!!

    Family can make some funny comments at time, and don't even think what they are saying, or more so how there comments will affect you.

    My mum does this from time to time......... AND IT PISSES ME OFF!!!!!

    But I just try to rise above it, and do my own thing! If your happy that is all that matters!

    I think they just don't want you to get too skinny that's all. You just need to say..........

    Hey........ I am eating really well & enjoying fitness..... BUG OFF!!!

    Your Dad should know this : )

    Keep up the fab work, You should be so proud of yourself
  • SailingCrab
    SailingCrab Posts: 2 Member
    You look amazing, and there is NOTHING wrong with your face. They will get used to it, it's just not what they are used to. What an incredible accomplishment!
  • ARDuBaie
    ARDuBaie Posts: 379 Member
    You're beautiful and they are jealous. If you feel good at this weight, then enjoy it and let them wallow in their jealousy.
  • megans1980
    megans1980 Posts: 22 Member
    Right with the other 9 pages of posts......

    You look amazing and they need to stop being jealous :)
  • 2dogzrule
    2dogzrule Posts: 245 Member
    You look great, I think they are just jealous :wink:
  • KellyKMullis
    KellyKMullis Posts: 4 Member
    You look wonderful! You know that you've earned this healthy body the correct way, so dont second guess yourself!
    Family is important but sometimes bad advice comes from them too, they are human. Im 42 and married and my dad still asks me when I'm going to get back to "courting size". Sometimes they jsut say stupid things.
    Enjoy your healthy self and continue to be happy!!!!!!!!
  • garrods
    garrods Posts: 6
    You look beautiful!!!!! You and your opinon are the only thing that matters. If you like what u see and how u feel then ignore them, they will get use to the new You.
  • FierceLisa
    FierceLisa Posts: 38 Member
    In my personal opinion you look good in a healthy way. I don't think you are to skinny or that you have over did it at all. You look healthy. Sounds like your family is just concerned that's better than not caring at all though. They are just going about it totally wrong. I think you should tell them how it makes you feel when they make these types of comments.
  • emmanap91
    emmanap91 Posts: 300 Member
    So about a month ago I reached my goal. I am no longer "overweight" but now am right in the middle of the "normal" bmi weight range. I weigh exactly what I did when I was 17, only I am in much better shape because I am eating healthy, and exercise 3 - 5 times a week, mainly weights but also some regular cardio.

    I was skyping my family the other night, and my Dad (an ex-OIympic and professional wrestler, and a former college and professional football player, who almost completed a Ph. D in Physical Education, so he knows a lot about fitness and diet), said to me, "We have all been talking about your weight. You look awful. You are too thin. Your sister in law Kim agrees, you look bad. We think you need to gain 15 lbs." And I said, "I have only lost 30 total - that would mean putting on half my weight back." And my sister, nurse with a Ph. D in nursing and long time Professor of nursing and medicine at various universities chimed in and said, "yah, you look awful - especially YOUR FACE! EW!"

    That being said, when I was this weight the last time, back in the 1990's, I was doing 4 hours of ballet a week plus cheerleading and marching band, was in great shape, and at that time these same people said, "you need to quit ballet - you are too fat. They don't take short fat girls in ballets. You need to join the football team or find a Sumo Wrestling club." AT THE SAME WEIGHT I AM NOW, where they are saying "your face - EW!"

    Frankly I think I am the healthiest and in the best shape I have ever been in. What should I make of what they said? I was sad, then mad, and now I realize that I obviously have some image issues, or what they say wouldn't hurt. Or would it? Would these things hurt other people's feelings too? What do y'all think - is my face so "EW"? Do I look worse than when I started? Here is a pic, me before on the left, last August, and me now on the right. And again, I am right in the middle of the "normal" bmi range, not on the low end at all.

    weightloss.png



    First off, you look FANTASTIC. I'm similar to you - I want to lose 15-20 pounds total, I am not outside of the healthy BMI range (nor was I ever, I don't think), and losing the weight would put me about in the middle of the BMI range, instead of on the higher end.
    (I think... 5'3", started 135 lbs, want to end at 115-120 lbs... I haven't done the math in a while)


    I just want to say this - they might be jealous, or they might be worried because you look so different. It's like when someone switches from glasses to contact lenses - everyone close to you says you look weird at first, while acquaintances compliment the change, and eventually your close friends and loved ones get used to the contacts. If you switched back to glasses after a long time with contacts, they'd say you look weird again. *People are uncomfortable with the unfamiliar.*


    When I was at my goal weight (I gained it back over christmas), my facebook friends who were also into fitness were complimenting my abs and my progress, while my family kept saying they were worried about me. I was still a healthy weight, in fact I don't think I've ever been as healthy in my life as I was then.


    tl;dr - it might be jealousy, or it might be that they are uncomfortable with change (like all humans) and they unintentionally interpret their own negative feelings into negative connotations concerning your health. If you were a stranger whose before and after pictures they saw on a site, they'd say it was a good change (especially since they are health and fitness experts).
  • beakueng
    beakueng Posts: 7
    Ditto on the comments above. You're beautiful - I love your face before and after (LOOOOVE the Desigual shirt, too :-)) I'm not sure what your family sees when they look at you. However, you feel and look great (you're not too skinny). Keep up the great work and find support in supportive people. Maybe you can tell your family that you appreciate their concern, but that you will only accept positive comments in the future.
  • onematch
    onematch Posts: 241 Member
    You look very healthy. Not "Ew" at all. Your family is nuts.
  • BioMechHeretic
    BioMechHeretic Posts: 128 Member
    Forget that crap, you look awesome and you have done a fantastic job. I'd be the first person to comment to some person on the internet with honesty if something looked wrong, but you look perfectly in the healthy and fit range to anyone looking. They're either bitter about your progress for some reason or have adjusted to seeing you large to such a point they lost the frame of reference for health. keep doing what you're doing, you look great.
  • blondelis50
    blondelis50 Posts: 24 Member
    Absolutely beautiful...you are. you look healthy and happy. Congratulations. Your family probably just needs to get used to seeing the new you. Don't let them steal your joy. :flowerforyou:
  • BlazeJay83
    BlazeJay83 Posts: 23 Member
    They have a picture of you in their minds eye and seeing you now shocks them. You will have to give them time to put the new you in their minds eye. Its not you, its them! You look great!
    This, basically. And it's actually quite shocking how people are so set in their ways that they can't be happy for you.
  • richardositosanchez
    richardositosanchez Posts: 260 Member
    I agree with everyone that your family is nuts. You look fine.
  • sherisse69
    sherisse69 Posts: 795 Member
    You look fantastic! Don't let it get to you. Clearly the change is just taking them a little longer to adjust. But who cares - you know you are healthy and beautiful! You go!
  • WilliamsPeggy
    WilliamsPeggy Posts: 440 Member
    Ignore them. You're beautiful. Congratulations on reaching your goal.
  • playwright82
    playwright82 Posts: 1 Member
    Don't listen to your family. I have family members sort of like that, too. They try to discourage me every chance they get. I have other family members and many friends who are very supportive. Listen to those who support you and tune out those who don't. You look fine and your face is not "EW." As long as you feel healthy, that's all that matters.

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