Goal reached. Family horrified.

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Replies

  • shabone
    shabone Posts: 18
    Okay...I don't see why your family would be saying you look awful??? You look great and you look healthy, not at all too skinny. If I were you I would just ignore those comments. You know what a healthy weight range is and if you are right in the middle then what is the problem? I'd rather be healthy and feel good about myself than try and please someone else and be unhealthy. Again, you look wonderful! Good for you!
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    Does your family come from a long line of blind people?
  • Luckee_me
    Luckee_me Posts: 1,425 Member
    Hi,
    First things first. You look amazing.
    Second thing I believe in my opinion that everyone would be hurt by the things they said. So I'm pretty sure it's not just you.
    Third it never ceases to amaze me how people talk to each other, if I was you I'd find a shovel and an alibi and start sorting them out.
    Have a great day.
  • ednaemerson
    ednaemerson Posts: 63 Member
    I think you look fantastic. Please yourself and consider where it is coming from. Jealousy seems to go in play here. Enjoy your accomplishments. You have earned it.
  • bookworm_847
    bookworm_847 Posts: 1,903 Member
    Congratulations! You look fantastic.

    I don't know what to make of your family's comments. Maybe they're having trouble adjusting to the new you? I'm not justifying their comments because I think you've done a great job, and you most definitely do not look awful.

    :flowerforyou:
  • sk2849
    sk2849 Posts: 1
    I think you look great... I think your family may be used to seeing you with your extra weight on and are having a hard time adjusting. I think if you " maintain your current weight" - while you continue your exercise program your family will become more acceptable. Not all exercise programs are about losing weight... After all I truly believe they are concerned for you - if there is a smidge of envy it can be dealt with in ways other than gaining weight back. Good luck and think positive!
  • dimple_gal
    dimple_gal Posts: 139 Member
    You don't look EW!, you look Ooooohhh! You look fabulous!

    It takes a lot of commitment to make the changes you did, and sometimes family dynamics bring out jealousy; not spending that time with them, feelings of inadequacy, protectiveness, etc. I am sure they care about you and when they see you in person, they will be amazed!

    Great job!
  • jessannprice
    jessannprice Posts: 183 Member
    Ummm... I can't believe they're horrified!


    You look healthy and fit! Your face is beautiful, not Eww even a little bit!
  • sweetpea03b
    sweetpea03b Posts: 1,123 Member
    I think you look great! Do you feel great? Are you lethargic and weak? No? Then who cares what they think :)
  • caseys29
    caseys29 Posts: 63 Member
    You look healthy and beautiful. I'm sorry they're saying such hurtful things to you, but obviously they're just not seeing what everyone else is. Is it possible for people to have body dysmorphic disorder about other people?! I think sometimes people just get used to seeing someone a certain way and it takes time for them to adjust. You look amazing.
  • Marcia315
    Marcia315 Posts: 460 Member
    I read your post and was expecting a picture of someone who looked emaciated.

    You look good. I don't know what they're talking about.
  • kikityme
    kikityme Posts: 472 Member
    1. You look great. You look great now, and you looked great before.

    2. You DO look different, especially your face. Give them time to adjust, maybe they just don't know how to word it without sounding like turds.
  • brendasharp9801
    brendasharp9801 Posts: 27 Member
    I think you look fantastic!!
  • skyeny
    skyeny Posts: 51 Member
    You know they are wrong, don't you? You see it in the mirror every day. You look so much prettier and younger... And your family... Mine is the same... I gain a few pounds my mom keeps calling me fat, I lose a few, she says it's unhealthy and I need to be careful... I live thousands of miles away from my family, and during every phone/Skype conversation I'm asked if I gained or lost. Some people are looking for your insecurities to keep the control. Just let them know you're not interested in their opinion about your weight. My mom got super upset when I said that, but she'll get over it. If I don't stand up for myself, nobody will.
  • Hadabetter
    Hadabetter Posts: 942 Member
    You look great, and you obviously feel great about your accomplishment. People have become so accustomed to seeing obese people in their lives (and possibly in the mirror) that they have lost a sense of what a normal, healthy weight looks like.
  • artistryrose
    artistryrose Posts: 84 Member
    Oh my gosh you look GREAT!!!!! And you are healthy!!! That's what's important. It could just be a shock to them because you really lost it in your face!!! I would go to the doc and get a check up to prove to them you are healthy! You look healthy!!! Don't let them get you down.
  • Atishi87
    Atishi87 Posts: 51 Member
    You look great and don't for a second let your family make you feel otherwise! Wish I could whoop their *kitten*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • beckytcy
    beckytcy Posts: 135 Member
    So sorry that they made these hurtful comments! You look wonderful!
  • superfox12082
    superfox12082 Posts: 512 Member
    I see nothing wrong with your face, or any part of you! Your family is probably just used to seeing you looking one way. They will get used to the new you as well. :flowerforyou:
  • KayandBelle
    KayandBelle Posts: 22 Member
    You look great! You look healthy and fit. Way to go. You know, I think your family may have the envies. Maybe they wish they too could look as good as you.
  • khemory
    khemory Posts: 47 Member
    I don't think you looked bad before, and definently dont know! I think they're blind and jealous! Congrats!!
  • walkinthedogs
    walkinthedogs Posts: 238 Member
    There is nothing ewwwww about you, there is awwwww, and wow and you look fabulous and very very very healthy! Maybe they just need to get used to looking at you at a healthy weight for a while and if you feel it's necessary, bombard them with the facts about your healthy new body by the numbers.
  • openskybeach
    openskybeach Posts: 294 Member
    You look awesome!!!!! They are over critical, and perhaps a little crazy, and not to mention, rude! I think you look awesome up and down. you go girl and as long as you are happy is what matters.
  • Jade0529
    Jade0529 Posts: 213 Member
    they are jealous
    Family can totally suck. I am sorry they said that to you.

    You should be so proud of yourself. You are healthy now and look very happy. :)
    Enjoy your success!!
  • runningagainstmyself
    runningagainstmyself Posts: 616 Member
    Sounds to me like they are envious of the positive change that you have put into your life. I wouldn't listen to them for a second. People on the whole tend to subliminally see the negative reflections of themselves when they see traits they react to strongly in other people. In this case, it sounds like a classic case of jealousy.

    You look fantastic, fit, and healthy. Many congratulations to you. You have earned the right to ignore the hell out of the people who are putting you down. :D
    So about a month ago I reached my goal. I am no longer "overweight" but now am right in the middle of the "normal" bmi weight range. I weigh exactly what I did when I was 17, only I am in much better shape because I am eating healthy, and exercise 3 - 5 times a week, mainly weights but also some regular cardio.

    I was skyping my family the other night, and my Dad (an ex-OIympic and professional wrestler, and a former college and professional football player, who almost completed a Ph. D in Physical Education, so he knows a lot about fitness and diet), said to me, "We have all been talking about your weight. You look awful. You are too thin. Your sister in law Kim agrees, you look bad. We think you need to gain 15 lbs." And I said, "I have only lost 30 total - that would mean putting on half my weight back." And my sister, nurse with a Ph. D in nursing and long time Professor of nursing and medicine at various universities chimed in and said, "yah, you look awful - especially YOUR FACE! EW!"

    That being said, when I was this weight the last time, back in the 1990's, I was doing 4 hours of ballet a week plus cheerleading and marching band, was in great shape, and at that time these same people said, "you need to quit ballet - you are too fat. They don't take short fat girls in ballets. You need to join the football team or find a Sumo Wrestling club." AT THE SAME WEIGHT I AM NOW, where they are saying "your face - EW!"

    Frankly I think I am the healthiest and in the best shape I have ever been in. What should I make of what they said? I was sad, then mad, and now I realize that I obviously have some image issues, or what they say wouldn't hurt. Or would it? Would these things hurt other people's feelings too? What do y'all think - is my face so "EW"? Do I look worse than when I started? Here is a pic, me before on the left, last August, and me now on the right. And again, I am right in the middle of the "normal" bmi range, not on the low end at all.

    weightloss.png
  • Anonycatgirl
    Anonycatgirl Posts: 502 Member
    Your face has changed a lot. You almost look like a different person--attractive in both cases, but different. It could be a shocker to people who've known you for ages at the higher weight. And while your body looks fit, if they're seeing only your face on Skype (and it's probably not the most flattering image/lighting), they may not be able to visualize your current weight and are worried you've gotten too skinny.
  • chelsa1986
    chelsa1986 Posts: 71
    OMG. That's horrible!!! You look really fantastic, and I'm NOT proponent of rail thin. You look healthy. A degree doesn't mean sh**, when they're not YOU. You know who you are. You are amazing. Be proud and tell them you didn't ask for their advice and now they've alienated and hurt you.
  • KseRz
    KseRz Posts: 980 Member
    If that was my family I would tell them to STFU, GTFO, and KMA. I dont think I would tell them to SMD though.


    I am sorry that is the kind of reaction you got. I agree with everyone in this thread that you should keep doing what you are doing and that you look fantastic.
  • MelisMusing
    MelisMusing Posts: 421 Member
    1. Congratulations on your success! You are amazing.
    2. The saying "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" is true. The most important eye is yours.
    3. You aren't responsible for others feelings- even your families. You're only responsible for your feelings, and you can decide how to feel about the criticism you're getting.
    4. Opinions are like *kitten*. Sometimes they are one and the same. The "eu" they gave you is a pretty good indication.
    5. OWN your happiness. OWN your hard work, your success and own your emotional health and self esteem.

    :happy:
  • loosinit42806
    loosinit42806 Posts: 142 Member
    I think people HATE change! and you have done something for yourself that they are uncomfortable with!
    most the time when people are over weight your family wont say, your over weight, but the second people realize you loosing weight the dramatic difference between what you used to be and what you look like now is just shocking to them!
    YOU HONESTLY LOOK GREAT!~ and im sure their words are hurtful and they shouldn't ever want to make you feel that way,
    NOTHING about your Face or Body is eww! you are very physically fit, you look HEALTHY! and in the before picture you just looked like you needed to exercise but look at you now! your strong, fit, HEalthy and you look amazing!~ don't ever let the word of the negative bring down the positive within you!
    Im proud to be your friend and im so Happy for you!
    Keep up what ever it is your doing because you look great!

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