Confession

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ibleedunionblue
ibleedunionblue Posts: 324 Member
in Goal: Maintaining Weight
I've come to the acceptance that I have a borderline eating disorder. Or maybe, I have just become obsessed with losing weight. One or the other.

My Doctor told me I am too light, and I am not eating enough fats. My fat macros are typically under 10% a day. My weight was under 132 yesterday. I wish I could accept going back to 135, but when I last seen 134 on the scales, I ended up restricting intake for a couple days to get back down.

Doctor said that my low fat intake is causing some health issues. He wants to take more tests in 2 weeks, but he tells me I need to increase my fat intake over that time by using olive oil for dressing, and taking omega 3 fish oil, and adding some nuts / seeds. Also suggested going off vegetarian diet for 2 weeks and eating low fat meats such as lean turkey, lean chicken breast, and cod. Health issues include some numbers out of range on blood work. These numbers suggest problems with my liver. My level of testosterone also is also 10 time too low. Sorry is this is TMI, but I havent been able to be intimate with my wife since October.

I have a food "binge" then I feel ashamed. Last night I had one of those binges. Woke up and had sweated through the sheets which is a frequent occurance. I was having muscle cramps, so I ate a banana, then I ate 4 more bananas in the middle of the night. Wasnt even hungry. So today, all I've had was 80 calories of greek lowfat yogurt. When I have a binge, I will severely restrict calories for a couple days. And I have an anxiety attack every time I step on the scales.

So I ranted on here. Cant talk to family members. I am getting enough criticism from my brother and my Mother calls and goes on and on about shes afraid I've lost too much weight. But at least I could confess and come clean on here.
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Replies

  • melimomTARDIS
    melimomTARDIS Posts: 1,941 Member
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    Men get eating disorders too! Try to see a professional about this, sooner than later.
  • Jestinia
    Jestinia Posts: 1,153 Member
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    Men get eating disorders too! Try to see a professional about this, sooner than later.

    This! Everyone here always wants to help (well except the trolls of course) but there isn't much anyone on a forum can do. It's time to enlist the professionals.
  • nxd10
    nxd10 Posts: 4,570 Member
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    I agree. And the fact that you're getting serious physical symptoms and advice from a doctor tells you something important.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
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    Go get yourself a hamburger or a ribeye steak. The fat will do you some good. You need it. Sit down and give it to yourself as an assignment. Also, get some professional help.
  • Veropal
    Veropal Posts: 9 Member
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    Hi,
    It is a good sign you acknowledge your problem! Binging, guilt, and fear of the scale are major signs that you do need help. You can try a support group or a counselor. I think many people who loose a lot of weight can be obsessed with gaining it back. You need to eat more as your doc suggested. If you cannot, please see a support group or therapist.
  • 98777
    98777 Posts: 108 Member
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    You're a very strong man and we're all very proud of you. I have a friend who I fear is anorexic, as he is 5'11" and 112 lb. And I have no clue how I could possibly help him.
  • PJPrimrose
    PJPrimrose Posts: 916 Member
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    *Whew!* I'm glad you're seeing a medical professional and coming to terms with your eating disorder! I pray every good health and progress with this!
  • 1tiamat
    1tiamat Posts: 138 Member
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    I think possibly getting rid of the scale could help. I know it sounds simple, but it could at least keep you from judging yourself by a number. I look at that stupid thing way too much too.Talking to a professional will do some good aswell. If you are worried about getting "fat" would you possibly enjoy doing weight training?

    The reason why I suggest weight training is that if you gain weight, but start to see that weight go into definition and strength it might make it fun for you. Just a suggestion though, but I wish you the best.
  • RHachicho
    RHachicho Posts: 1,115 Member
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    The first step is realizing you have a problem. I wish you well because I know just how bad an eating disorder can be. I was the other end of the scale a pathological comfort eater. Breaking it is the single hardest thing I've ever had to do. Try working up to it slowly. Perhaps sit down with a certified nutritionist and let him give you a new "healthy" weight to aim for on the scales that might help. Perhaps you have convinced yourself that your current weight is healthy. But perhaps if you get given a new target you can work towards attaining that instead? Just a suggestion. But perhaps if you know your "upper limit" as it where you might feel more comfortable gaining weight?
  • Graelwyn75
    Graelwyn75 Posts: 4,404 Member
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    I am glad you are seeing someone and that you are aware you have a problem. Time to get a grip on it before you spiral even further. It can be so very damaging to your body longterm to be following this pattern of restriction. I suffered anorexia on and off from the age of 14, hitting my low point, and almost dying, at 18 when I was 72Ibs at 5'11. It has been a constant struggle for many years since as getting over the unhealthy thought processes is something that tends to be ongoing.

    I suggest getting rid of the scale for a start, even though that is probably terrifying to you right now. You will feel fear at first, but eventually, you will find yourself feeling much more relaxed without the constant obsession with that number. It does not define you. You are not a number. I also suggest exploring why you have fallen into this eating disordered behaviour, as there is usually an underlying reason that needs to be dealt with. Part of it for me, was needing to feel in control of something, when I did not feel I controlled much else.

    Please work on adding some fat into your diet, it will not make you fat and there are plenty of healthy fats to be had. Your health depends on it. Avocado and nuts/seeds along with fatty fish such as salmon are very good sources and I eat those things daily.
  • prattiger65
    prattiger65 Posts: 1,657 Member
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    I have no advice to offer. However, I want to tell you that I am glad you are taking action and I wish you well!!!
  • manda1978
    manda1978 Posts: 525 Member
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    Firstly a big congrats for seeing your Dr and opening up on here. Admitting there's an issue is the hardest. I udnerstand the 'obsession' with losing weight, I got that way too. I feel empowered when the numbers went down each week but the ended up binging, restricting etc.

    I agree with gthe PP's, please seek professional help.
  • astartig
    astartig Posts: 549 Member
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    Men get eating disorders too! Try to see a professional about this, sooner than later.

    This! Everyone here always wants to help (well except the trolls of course) but there isn't much anyone on a forum can do. It's time to enlist the professionals.

    This... eating five bananas is hardly a binge to be ashamed of. I don't think this is a borderline problem. you aren't eating enough and your body is craving the nutrients it needs. that's what you're impelled to eat five bananas. they're full of vitaminy goodness. you need it. your health is more important than a couple pounds.
  • MizMimi111
    MizMimi111 Posts: 244 Member
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    I have no advice to offer. However, I want to tell you that I am glad you are taking action and I wish you well!!!

    Same here. Please find help.
  • kdeaux1959
    kdeaux1959 Posts: 2,675 Member
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    Fat is essential to process oil soluble vitamins such as Vitamin A and E. Choose good fats. Balance in all things. Best wishes on your every success. You've got this.

    BTW: Food is fuel for the body. You are a marathon runner... This is awesome... I would that could go that distance (at least I am back up to a 5K)... However, you need to EAT to make this happen. Get online and find a BMI scale and find out where you SHOULD BE... (For those of us who lift, BMI is not terribly accurate but for a runner it should be pretty good)... Try to hit the center of that range... For me at 6'3", I should be about 180 or so except that I lift weights so I am trying to maintain a little heavier weight and maintain a healthy body fat percentage... Too much of a good thing is a bad thing... You can do this. best wishes....
  • cmoncmonshake
    cmoncmonshake Posts: 24 Member
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    Throw out your scale.

    I know this is going to sound like the worst possible thing to do in your head, and you are NOT going to want to do it. When I was younger and diagnosed with an EDNOS, the first thing that went was my scale. Also, it was written on my doctors notes to never allow me to see what the scale said as I was being weighed in the doctors office. It's normal to feel as if the scale controls you, and you will act accordingly (binging, purging, fasting) to what your scale will tell you.

    I'm glad to hear that you're getting help from your doctor, but also talking to a therapist may help. It gets easier. Take it one day at a time and help yourself.
  • AshleyArleneNP
    AshleyArleneNP Posts: 77 Member
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    Couseling and therapy. Those are not normal responses to food or weight. The focus of diet, exercise, and weight management is health. Your behaviors are causing damage to your heath. Your primary care should be able to refer you. I recommend someone who specializes in eating disorders.
  • MagnumBurrito
    MagnumBurrito Posts: 1,070 Member
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    OP, I can see from your profile pics, you lost some fat. Good Job. Now the second part of the journey is to put on slabs of muscle. Lift heavy and eat above maintenance. Get big. The good kind of big.

    For some motivation, check out Victor Pride's site.

    http://boldanddetermined.com/2012/08/24/11-bodybuilding-tips/

    "As a big man you will get respect from people. People who would not have thought anything of you before. Big men, as in not fat, are rare and command respect. People will defer to you. People will get out of your way. Little girlies eyes will pop out of their heads and their jaws will drop as they stare in awe. You will get big, bright smiles form the little cutie in the cereal aisle. Girlies will say “Whoa, you’re big like Vin Diesel“.
  • ibleedunionblue
    ibleedunionblue Posts: 324 Member
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    Thank you for support. I made a call to our health insurance provider today and they will help me locate some counselor. Should get back to me on Tuesday. I also intend to seek out the help from a nutritionalist as well. Thank you.
  • Edmond_Dantes
    Edmond_Dantes Posts: 185 Member
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    Glad to hear you are taking the steps to heal. If it were easy, there wouldn't be counselors and support groups. Please know that you can find support here too! Good luck.

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