I hate myself.

Options
24

Replies

  • Bigblondelady
    Bigblondelady Posts: 56 Member
    Options
    awh sweet girl, you are running scared, you don't hate yourself you just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Believe me I know. I'm 50 and have been on that marry go round all my life. The difference now is here, the people and support, find some good friends , do the paper work , so to say, fill in you profile that is one of your life lines .....in the future and also makes you really focus on what you want and why. pin it down for yourself. Change is scary , but so worth it. Now find your friends and do the ground work. Don't spend valuable time waiting on the change, shed the tears and dry your eyes and lets start logging and really track what's going on , then make the positive choices to get it moving in the right direction. it's a life journey not a diet. Wishing you much success BB :flowerforyou:
  • JJplus6
    JJplus6 Posts: 11 Member
    Options
    Wow, you've had a lot of major life changes in a short time... deaths in the family, multiple moves, 2 babies... and it sounds like you're probably battling depression too. Sleep deprived, I'm guessing? You have a lot working against you emotionally.

    The root of your problem isn't your weight -- your weight is a symptom of what's happening on the inside. You know you need to take care of yourself, but it's so hard to know where to begin. It sounds like you're blessed with a loving husband, which is a great start. Please find a doctor who will listen to you, and be brutally honest at your first consultation, even if it's embarrassing to share some personal details.

    If you can sort through the emotional stuff, perhaps treat your depression medically, it will be much, much easier to tackle physical health and weight loss. My heart goes out to you... I have been in a very similar situation, and it's rough. Try not to be so hard on yourself -- it seems like life has given you a bit of a buttkicking, and you don't need more. Hang in there, and I really hope you begin to heal soon.
  • ritan7471
    ritan7471 Posts: 99 Member
    Options
    Don't hate yourself! Making a big change is hard, so don't be too hard on yourself. Start with smaller changes that you can make work. Try eating well one meal a day to start with. In my house, eating a healthy dinner is hard. My husband just has a way different way of losing weight than I do: he skips breakfast and lunch and then eats everything for dinner. I can't skip a meal, so I try to eat as little as possible during the day, but I tend to blow it in the afternoon.

    So now I've started just eating well for breakfast and lunch, and then relaxing a bit at dinner. I eat what my husband eats, but a smaller serving.

    Come here and get support. There are some people that will say harsh things, but there are a lot of people who are here to support you. Friend me! :)
  • KEAVES13
    KEAVES13 Posts: 90 Member
    Options
    I can definitely relate to how you are feeling. I too did not ever imagine I would be at the weight I am, and I too am bigger than I have ever been. I get frustrated and can't even guess how many nights I've been sooo determined to start my diet and then the next day I fail miserably. I used to be a happy go lucky person, but after losing my brother to brain cancer, I struggle with depression also. I just joined a group on here called The Next 100 Days, and I "failed" today as far as staying under my calories, but at the same time, this is the first day I consider a success, because i honestly logged every bite I took. That's at least a starting point, and I'm going to strive to do better everyday until I am meeting my calorie goal. Don't be too hard on yourself. I know it can seem hopeless, but with realistic expectations and patience, we can do this. It's not too late to choose who we want to be, and go be it. We have the ability to transform ourselves in to moms who are happy, healthy, and full of energy! I declare it!
  • IlluminatedMayhem
    IlluminatedMayhem Posts: 177
    Options
    Thanks, everyone. I woke up feeling a bit better today. Really looking forward to this afternoon. We're going to get rid of the junk in the kitchen then go shopping to get good stuff. We're going to focus on veggies, fruit, beans, whole grains and lean meats.

    My husband is disappointed that I don't want to keep the junk on hand anymore but I told him its too easy to grab when I get hungry while feeding the baby. I believe my 2-year-old will adjust just fine. Fruit is her favorite food group and she eats most veggies including raw baby spinach.

    I'm doing better eating today, too. Still some bad choices but I made some good ones also. And even when I did make the bad choices today at least I had some self control and didn't go overboard. I'm calling it success so far.
  • KEAVES13
    KEAVES13 Posts: 90 Member
    Options
    Great start!! :wink: :smile:
  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,488 Member
    Options


    I tried to start dieting today but I failed miserably. I can't believe I let myself get like this.

    You only failed if you quit. Since you posted this I'm going to assume you're going to keep at it. Learning from our mistakes is not failing - you've got this. :flowerforyou:
  • emalethmoon
    emalethmoon Posts: 178 Member
    Options
    I've had several false starts over the past 9 years, but this website is finally helping me get it right. Count those calories every day, even if you are going way over your goal. You need to form a habit and hold yourself accountable. Get a fitbit and try to reach the step goals it gives you.

    You CAN do this!!

    I've been fat since I was 9 years old. 2 kids and 23 years later, I'm finally getting it right. You can too!

    Hating yourself won't help. For me, that just makes me cry into my next binge. When you start loving yourself and seeing that you are worth it, that's when you'll make the change.
  • jltheis7
    jltheis7 Posts: 496 Member
    Options
    Good for you, you made a change. Every journey starts with one step, right? And you creating a support network here for both the good days and the not so good. Keep updating us!
  • Swilla_Swole
    Swilla_Swole Posts: 333 Member
    Options
    Please dont hate yourself. I have done it for years and know the destructive power it yields.

    I love you and here is a bug hug to prove it......

    big-hug-from-me-to-you_zpsc6a31ff3.gif
  • vjohn04
    vjohn04 Posts: 2,276 Member
    Options
    I hate to break this to you, but losing weight isn't going to magically make you love yourself. I'd not stress out over the situation. It is what it is. Accept it, and start working on finding things you love about yourself. Find things you can do to show love to yourself. Feed yourself the appropriate amounts of food with the appropriate amounts of nutrients. Get out and be active with yourself.

    Fall in love with yourself on your journey. Stick with it. It will be OK. xoxox
  • leah_motz
    leah_motz Posts: 19 Member
    Options
    Sent you a friend request - let this community build you up and remember, its all one day at a time. Every little decision adds up so, when you make a bad decision, compensate by making a good one the next time around.
  • LassVegas
    LassVegas Posts: 35
    Options
    While I totally agree with Penny who is a genius with words:

    One thing I noticed in your original post is that you refer to emotional situations as an excuse for your weight gain. Such as your mother in law picking on you. Though there's no question that emotions can be a huge factor for some people in maintaining momentum, you need to change the way you view those situations and not view them as something that somehow has power over your free will. They are not to blame and if you take responsibility for your actions you'll be stronger in the long run.

    I hate to see people sabotage themselves. Your support system begins with you. And you sound pretty great.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    Options
    OP, you need to work on your mental game every bit as much as you need to work on your physical game, if not more. Learn to be kind to you in ways that do not indulge yourself in self-loathing and self-pity. Find an active hobby. You need not, heck, "should" not go out and try P90x or any of the other intense cardio programs out there. Instead, get out and simply go for a walk. Also, learn to cook healthy meals and portion control. Finally, work on learning to be positive in your self talk.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Options
    What is your main struggle with trying to lose? Emotional eating? Craving sweets? Salt? Lack of motivation for exercise?

    If you can pinpoint your main barrier, we can offer tips on how to work on that and get over that hump.

    Hating yourself isn't going to get you anywhere, though. Loving yourself is important to getting healthy -- physically and emotionally.
  • Trechechus
    Trechechus Posts: 2,819 Member
    Options
    Try not to think of it as a "diet" but instead a life-style change. We've all had times like that, that is why we are here, but keep working at it and you will get it.

    Surround yourself with positive people and keep reminding yourself that you are working toward confidence and health.
    Your support system begins with you. And you sound pretty great.

    This is so well, said!
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    Options
    Thanks, everyone. I woke up feeling a bit better today. Really looking forward to this afternoon. We're going to get rid of the junk in the kitchen then go shopping to get good stuff. We're going to focus on veggies, fruit, beans, whole grains and lean meats.

    My husband is disappointed that I don't want to keep the junk on hand anymore but I told him its too easy to grab when I get hungry while feeding the baby. I believe my 2-year-old will adjust just fine. Fruit is her favorite food group and she eats most veggies including raw baby spinach.

    I'm doing better eating today, too. Still some bad choices but I made some good ones also. And even when I did make the bad choices today at least I had some self control and didn't go overboard. I'm calling it success so far.

    I didn't read this before responding, but let me add that you don't have to make a full 180 overnight. If you can't moderate or portion control the "junk" then fine, get rid of some of it, but many of us found success by moderating it rather than flat out refusing to satisfy our cravings. The real key here is portion control and you have to learn it at some point. 1 or 2 cookies didn't put you in your current position, for example, so don't think that you suddenly have to eat the "perfect" diet. Shoot for better rather than perfect.
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
    Options
    I hate going out in public because I feel like I'm being judged by everyone.

    old-lady-wheel-chair-ballerina.jpg
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    Options
    Just think of your goals and progress on a day to day basis, at least for now. And if you had a bad day with food, just start over tomorrow. It has happened to all of us multiple times, I promise. Good luck with everything! :smile:
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
    Options
    Do this quiz first and then come back and say what it gives you.

    http://iifym.com/tdee-calculator/

    any day now OP. You still there?

    That's pretty condescending. This isn't about a lack of knowledge. This is about an individual expressing emotional despair and needing support. If she wants advice on the how, she knows how to ask. Try to be more sensitive to the heart of the message.

    Actually, I think she's being really helpful.
    Did I miss something where she expressed that she (OP) is knowledgable about nutrition and calories required to lose weight?
    Maybe she is feeling like she will fail because she has set an unrealistic deficit for herself. If that's the case, pointing her in the right direction is much more helpful than patting her hand and saying, "now, now dear"

Categories