I hate myself.

Just because you failed today doesn't mean you'll fail tomorrow. Tomorrow, resolve to eat one healthy meal, something small that you can keep building up on. Definitely measure yourself, I wish I had done that because there was a long period where I plateaued - the measurements would have helped then.

Take it one step at a time, envision a pair of jeans or a dress you'd like to fit in - that'll be a better goal. Unless you're like me, and you need numbers, then make a goal of a small weigh loss every couple weeks until you're satisified.

You have your children, you do for them and for yourself. Your husband will get with the program when he sees you're happier.

While it is good that you are recognizing a need to make a lifestyle change, beating yourself up isn't going to help. This website is GREAT for motivation, finding friends, staying strong. Log in every day. EVERY day (well, at least every day that it is reasonably possible - and don't beat yourself up if you miss a day, but do try to get on every day - you'll have more success).

Also, remember, it took you years to get to where you are - it is going to take time to lose the weight, too... but it is possible. People on here do it all the time. Look at the success stories to see it - these are real people who have fought hard and found success. You can, too.

And forget someone who mocks you for your abilities in working out - at least you're doing something!

I wish you the very best in this journey!

Tomorrow you' ll do better and then it will get easier. Read the message boards and get inspiration from others. We all started one day and we've all slipped up along the way. Best of luck!

Do this quiz first and then come back and say what it gives you.

http://iifym.com/tdee-calculator/

You are not more or less valuable as a human just because of your weight. You are not less deserving of respect or dignity just because of your weight. You are not lacking in humanity, compassion, or morality just because of your weight. You are not a bad person, mother, or significant other just because of your weight. You are not your weight! You are not a number!

You have value and are loved and are number 1 unconditionally and especially in the eyes of your kids.


It's okay to not be happy with your body, but don't be hateful. People take better care of things they love. If you feel bad and feel being smaller is healthier and is better, then takes small steps until you get there. You live in the body you inhabit right now. You need to respect yourself and find some level of comfort with yourself throughout the whole process, or you will waste away emotionally and mentally trying to live in the hypothetical "skinny" future and be constantly disappointed in the state of your body as it stands. Your body can do amazing things as it is right now.

This is a supportive community environment. We will be here to listen and share our experiences with you, help answer your questions when we can, and get you where you want to be over time. It is a process, but it is possible.

Just don't forget to take care of yourself, see the good in yourself, and realize you want to change not because you hate yourself, but because you care about yourself enough to work towards what you feel is a better life.

You are worth being loved and feeling loved. Weight loss is challenging and I've felt discouraged too (I've been working on it for a year and a half.) I'm trying to find what works for me and recently have had more success. I've learned it's ok to fail. It's great to keep going and trying. You have people around you that love you which is good. You need to learn to love yourself too.

Ditto to what everyone else has said. Get back up and keep trying. Again, and again, and again. Please don't be so hard on yourself. Change comes one day and one step at a time not overnight.

You hate yourself because you are overweight?

Seriously? Hate?

That's REALLY extreme. Would you hate anyone else in the world simply.because they eat too much? I mean seriously, lay off a little bit!

You need to knock it off and LOVE yourself. I love myself, so I am taking care of my health now because I am a good person and I deserve good health.

It is very simple. Eat at a deficit = lose weight. You can handle that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5PLdIns4aw



:flowerforyou:

It's really common to put on weight when you're breastfeeding. Everyone tells you that it's great for losing weight, but no one tells you that it makes you ravenously hungry all the time! I had the same problem and it's only by logging everything into MFP and using it to help me make better food choices that the weight has come off (and even then I'm only half way, it's been slow going).

Some things to think about:

Can you find an exercise activity to do regularly that you love? You **need** the "me time" as much as the exercise to help with your mental wellbeing. Go for a morning or evening walk while the kids are asleep, or find someone to look after them for an hour so you can go for a walk or swim or a pump class. Put it in your calendar and make it a regular *non-negotiable* part of your week, just like you would for the kids' gym classes or music. Even one hour a week will make a difference, and allowing your children to see you making time to go and exercise is a good thing - you are not neglecting them, you are setting a good example for them.

Do you have fussy kids who leave food on their plate? Are you eating their leftovers? Even though it seems like a waste, you're better off throwing the food away (or composting it) than eating it yourself. You don't need the extra calories. This is where logging everything you eat can help you see extra calories you might not realise you are eating.

Think about your eating habits and the rest of the family too. Do the kids eat fruit and vegetables as a snack, or is it cake and cookies? Do you drink water or soda and juice? Do you get takeaway dinner or cook at home? Making changes to how the whole family eats will make it easier to stick to your goals, and everyone will benefit. Keep vegetable sticks cut up in the fridge ready to eat. Buy fresh fruit and have it washed or cut up ready to eat. Plan fruit and vegetables or salad as part of every meal and replace sugary breakfasts with oatmeal, granola or wholegrain toast. Have a fun weekly challenge to try a new healthy food. Aim for small changes first, like not drinking soda at dinnertime, or replacing ice cream with fruit for dessert.

Cleaning out and organising your fridge and pantry can help, so you always have healthy food that is easy to eat. This lady has some excellent suggestions: http://theorganisedhousewife.com.au/organising/how-to-organise-the-fridge-and-freezer/

And be *kind* to yourself. Everyone has a bad day, and sometimes as parents we can have bad weeks or months. But that's just a part of life. Every day is a new day, and and every time you make a better choice, it gets a little easier. It's trying that matters most.

Wow, you've had a lot of major life changes in a short time... deaths in the family, multiple moves, 2 babies... and it sounds like you're probably battling depression too. Sleep deprived, I'm guessing? You have a lot working against you emotionally.

The root of your problem isn't your weight -- your weight is a symptom of what's happening on the inside. You know you need to take care of yourself, but it's so hard to know where to begin. It sounds like you're blessed with a loving husband, which is a great start. Please find a doctor who will listen to you, and be brutally honest at your first consultation, even if it's embarrassing to share some personal details.

If you can sort through the emotional stuff, perhaps treat your depression medically, it will be much, much easier to tackle physical health and weight loss. My heart goes out to you... I have been in a very similar situation, and it's rough. Try not to be so hard on yourself -- it seems like life has given you a bit of a buttkicking, and you don't need more. Hang in there, and I really hope you begin to heal soon.

I can definitely relate to how you are feeling. I too did not ever imagine I would be at the weight I am, and I too am bigger than I have ever been. I get frustrated and can't even guess how many nights I've been sooo determined to start my diet and then the next day I fail miserably. I used to be a happy go lucky person, but after losing my brother to brain cancer, I struggle with depression also. I just joined a group on here called The Next 100 Days, and I "failed" today as far as staying under my calories, but at the same time, this is the first day I consider a success, because i honestly logged every bite I took. That's at least a starting point, and I'm going to strive to do better everyday until I am meeting my calorie goal. Don't be too hard on yourself. I know it can seem hopeless, but with realistic expectations and patience, we can do this. It's not too late to choose who we want to be, and go be it. We have the ability to transform ourselves in to moms who are happy, healthy, and full of energy! I declare it!

Great start!!

I've had several false starts over the past 9 years, but this website is finally helping me get it right. Count those calories every day, even if you are going way over your goal. You need to form a habit and hold yourself accountable. Get a fitbit and try to reach the step goals it gives you.

You CAN do this!!

I've been fat since I was 9 years old. 2 kids and 23 years later, I'm finally getting it right. You can too!

Hating yourself won't help. For me, that just makes me cry into my next binge. When you start loving yourself and seeing that you are worth it, that's when you'll make the change.

Please dont hate yourself. I have done it for years and know the destructive power it yields.

I love you and here is a bug hug to prove it......