Husband dieting is disheartening!

Been there, and been very annoyed by it! Hubby started a month after I did and within 4-6 weeks had lost more pounds (total) than I had.

BUT I've come to the conclusion that I'm better off. I have to work for it, and that has side benefits. I improve my fitness level, heart/lung capacity/etc. I also have learned a lot, and these lessons will keep me successful as time goes on. Hubby, on the other hand, has consistency issues. He falls off track easily then has a hard time getting back up again. He's put back on 5-10 pounds and struggling to get going again while I steadily plod along.

He has put back on 5-10 pounds and is on the verge of losing again. But at the moment I've lost almost 30 to his 25. I feel steady and strong and think I'll hit my goal weight within a few months.

My boyfriend and I are in this together and in the same period of time, he's lost 41 lbs to my 26.

Men have more muscle mass to start with and lose faster. I know you're upset because "it's so easy for him!" But no one ever said this would be easy. Just keep it up. Would you rather gain weight or lose weight? Think about that whenever you think weight loss happens too slow. Losing .5 lbs is better than gaining .5 lbs.

Turn that weight loss into a percent of total weight then compare percent bodymass lost. If men lose more scale weight than women its simply because most men weight more and if you weigh more then you lose more weight to change your total percent mass by the same amount.

For example a 260 pound guy is definitely going to lose weight faster than a 160 pound woman but that is because he is 260 pounds not because he is male.

Muscle does require more calorically to maintain than fat but not by very much actually, its a pretty small difference.

You're pretty much spot on, he started at 260 and I started at 176.

I just did the math: we've both lost about 15% of our bodyweight.

I am admittedly taken aback that so many women on here think its easier for men to lose weight than women.

No. Really....no.

If they lose weight faster its because their caloric deficit is larger which is likely because their TDEE is higher because they weigh more to begin with so TDEE - 20% is a larger deficit. Thats it. You break it down by percent total mass and its equivalent.

It happens for every guy and every girl. Don't measure yourself against what anyone else is doing. It's your journey, not your journey +1. As long as you're doing what's right for your body, and you're losing weight at the optimum rate for your body, it doesn't matter.

I am admittedly taken aback that so many women on here think its easier for men to lose weight than women.

No. Really....no.

If they lose weight faster its because their caloric deficit is larger which is likely because their TDEE is higher because they weigh more to begin with so TDEE - 20% is a larger deficit. Thats it. You break it down by percent total mass and its equivalent.

I never thought it was *easier* for men, I just thought they lost faster because of higher metabolism due to lean body mass.

Thanks for educating the ladies on this :flowerforyou:

Oh I didn't mean to imply you specifically said it was easier, but that has definitely been said in here...multiple times and frankly its a bit insulting. Sorry if I came off as being lecturing but it just sort of flustered me, I wasn't expecting pretty much everyone to hop on the men lose weight faster band-wagon like that.

OP you should be happy for your husband, his weight loss just means he is getting healthier...it in no way reflects poorly on yourself.

My guess is that he has more to lose than you do.

It's all in the math....

When my wife and I started out on this wonderful little safari to health and wellness, I had about 50 Lbs to lose...she had maybe 10 or so cosmetic Lbs to lose...maybe. She had the same reaction when I started losing...thought it wasn't fair and oh how much easier it was for me. Fact was that when I was a big fat *kitten* I maintained my weight on around 3500 - 4000 calories. I cut out sodas and beer for a time of which my daily intake was roughly 1300 calories right there...so right off the bat I'm down to 2300 calories and a huge deficit from what my starting TDEE was...and yeah...I dropped quickly early on. But that doesn't mean "easy"...I was consuming 1300 calories less than what I was accustomed to consuming...for me to consume 1300 less calories than I'm used to is just as difficult as it is for a woman to consume 1300 calories less than she's used to....and guess what...I'm one hangry mo-fo on 2300 calories just as many women are on 1200 calories.

Like I said, I dropped weight pretty quick initially but leveled off just as fast...my body normalized to that pretty quickly and my TDEE normalized...which meant to continue losing I had to further restrict my calorie intake which is where I really got on board here with MFP...then I lost another 20 Lbs or so in about 6 months time and went to maintenance for awhile. I still have a pesky 10 Lbs to go and guess what...it's HARD...and SLOW...like I've lost about 3 Lbs in 6 weeks kind of slow. This is because my TDEE is far lower than it used to be and thus more difficult to create any kind of substantial calorie deficit without doing more harm than good.

OP...you should just be happy that you're not a big old fat *kitten* like I was...it goes faster at first, sure...but you're still a big old fat *kitten* for months. As a personal preference, I most definitely prefer looking pretty fit and feeling the part now and just taking my time losing these last few cosmetic Lbs vs when I was losing pretty quickly, but was still a big old fatty in the mirror.

Yup this. I liken it in a way to my experience with weight lifting. You see a guy lifting 200 pounds when you can only lift 100 and you just assume that to him lifting 200 pounds feels like what lifting 100 pounds feels like to you. Then over time you get yourself to the point where you can lift 200 pounds also and when you get there you realize that no, actually, lifting 200 pounds feels about twice as hard as lifting 100 pounds (if not more) its just that now you can do it.

A heavy guy might have a huge TDEE that allows him to go to a huge deficit to lose weight quickly but as this poster said that 1000 calorie deficit going from a TDEE of 3000 to eating 2000 still feels every bit as difficult as a 1000 calorie deficit would to you going from maintaining at 2200 to eating 1200.

My husband and I started dieting together. He's lost 43 pounds, I've lost 18.5. It does get to me sometimes, too, and I get upset with myself for not losing even half what he's lost but then I remember:

1. He's AMAZING. He's just absolutely buckled down and dedicated himself to getting healthier and I can not tell you how happy that makes me. He's getting healthier so he'll be around longer.
b. He's AMAZING. He exercises every day - more than I do, actually.
III. He's AMAZING. He's totally focused on meeting his goal. He's going to lose another 7-10, then maintain for a few months, then get back at it. He's got a completely doable plan that he's stuck to this far, and considering how much he loves beer, I'm astounded at how well he's done.
4) He weighed 110 pounds more than I did when we started, and he weighs 85ish pounds more than I do now. It takes a lot more energy to move that much more weight. It's natural that if he eats and exercises to his goal of losing 2-ish pounds per week, it's going to be a little easier for him because he naturally burns more energy than I do.

I get frustrated when he can eat more pizza than I can. I get frustrated when he can drink better beer than I can. I get frustrated when he can eat more ice cream than I can. But it all comes down to how much bigger he is and how much more he's exercising. Plus he's amazing and I just can't be mad at him. We encourage each other to meet our goals, and this is the most successful I've been on a diet since we met. So I try to remember these things about myself:

1. I'm only 15ish pounds away from my goal.
b. I've done an AMAZING job of sticking to my diet.
III. I can ride 35 miles on my bike right now, two MPH faster than my fastest ride last year. At the end of the fall last year, I was lucky to get to 30 miles after riding all spring/summer long. I'm making significant progress with my fitness.
4) I weigh less now than I did when we met, and definitely less than I did when we got married. I'm healthier all around and I'm going to be around longer for him too.

Good luck. Try to shift your thinking from feeling upset to recognizing how successful you've been and how happy you are that he's getting healthy too.

I've never really thought about all of this until now. I just assumed men, thankfully being bigger than I am, would burn calories faster and be stronger lifting weights in a hurry. Due to their larger size weight loss would happen faster on the scale but would take longer to actually look different or change measurements.

It has seemed to happen that way. I only lost freaking 8.5 lbs and went down an entire pants size. I had to buy new clothes!
He lost 10 lbs and went down a belt hole.

Squats and deadlifts are easier for me due to my flexibility too. I cannot lift as much but holding my form is easy.
My DH had to work on flexibility to even do those exercises at all.

All in all, I love that my DH is getting even sexier and our challenges with exercise and weight loss about even out in the end.