Fat people in the gym

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  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,932 Member
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    I wonder how much an individual's self esteem influences his/her reaction to this. Meh, I'm probably a bit too entertained by the umbrage being taken here . . .
  • Janautical
    Janautical Posts: 75 Member
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    As a fat person I appreciate knowing that others aren't looking down on me, I really do! But when I'm at the gym, I'm just there to work out, like everybody else. The other day someone gave me a thumbs up and started cheering me on when I was doing push ups, and I appreciate that! But also, I'd like to be ignored, like everyone else at the gym, you know?

    I am glad to know you're not making fun of me. But it's not special for me to be at the gym. I am there for a reason: to work out. It's just kind of weird feeling to be singled out you know?
  • futurejedi
    futurejedi Posts: 111
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    Encourage them, tell them they are making improvements. Teach them to help them

    You don't understand. No, no, and no. I've known super obese Polynesians who were heavy lifters, brothers, ran a moving business. Healthy blood, normal BP, good endurance. At the gym and at work were treated with respect. Take them anywhere casual and absolute strangers express their "concern" and give UNWARRANTED, UNPROVOKED advice on their "health." No. You don't know anything about a fat stranger at the gym. Doc gave my buddies seal of approval, told them it's all Gucci unless they start to feel adverse effects. They don't need your condescending reminders that they are"too" fat, unwanted, and must be exercising for weight loss, amirite? Because God forbid a fatty like riding a bike! Are you even aware that weekly exercise has health benefits even for those who don't exercise enough to lose weight? And not all fat people eat burgers and fries and cake. You can get fat by eating too many calories of any food. Reject the stigma. Learn some respect.


    Actual many of these people you say I don't know Ive actually been thanked by them for wanting to encourage them and help them

    You got lucky they were on the same page. That doesn't excuse the prejudices towards fatness and belittling mentality. I got fat on prescribed dietary meal supplements post hospital. I had heart failure and went from a BMI of 23 to 33 because I had been living with a blood disorder that was undiagnosed and was not retaining nutrients. I was healthy and in recovery from my heart giving out. I never stopped running. I have been a distance runner for years, and the comments I got when I was recovering from near-death were so healthist, fat-biased, hate in the guise of "support." Because no one can tell you run 30 miles a week when you're fat, and they're always astonished when you tell them because all we ever hear on media is fat=bad, unhealthy, pity, unattractive, low self esteem, unacceptable, needs to be reversed. And for the record? Weight loss is a personal choice, not a moral one. I don't think anyone was any less human or valuable in their fat body as opposed to the "earned" thinner one. We should be encouraging people to value humanity over size based aesthetics, not telling people they aren't Ok now but could be acceptable with workouts over time.


    Just because someone attacked you doesn't mean all of us are like that. Your letting what happened to you dictate how I support individuals and in hindsight are attacking me because I choose to offer a hand to someone.

    No. I'm fighting an entire cultural bias against people who aren't represented with any dignity in mainstream media. You are still entirely missing the point that human value does not change with size, that size does not make you a better human, that even fat people suffer internalized fat bias and think they are awful and need to change to be considered human. And currently? They're right. Because of mindsets like this that reinforce value as a matter of body fat % and not personhood.


    And how do you know this, have you done any research or is this opinion based on your own personal experiences
  • Sreneesa
    Sreneesa Posts: 1,170 Member
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    Since OP has been there I understand where he is coming from. I think is genuinely trying to be encouraging.

    I know its a sticky subject and some will be offended and some will not. That's life and everything that one says isn't going to go well with everyone.

    It is what it is. As adults all we can do is accept it and move on. lol

    Or

    debate about it online.

    Carry on..... lmao
  • SnuggleSmacks
    SnuggleSmacks Posts: 3,732 Member
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    I do not look at you to look down on you or because I think you have nothing to do there.
    I look at you in admiration! remember that

    I know how hard it is to get started(been there myself), and how easy it is to quit.
    But remember this is a lifetime commitment, not a quick fix.
    And most of the people at the gym are more than happy to help if you ask.

    Now get back in there and kick some butt !


    Copycat.

    6jEWN.png
  • Lilly_the_Hillbilly
    Lilly_the_Hillbilly Posts: 914 Member
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    Just the other day I was shooting some hoops when a black man came up to me, gave me a high five, and said, "Keep it up short white boy!"

    I felt so proud.

    :laugh:
  • jkestens63
    jkestens63 Posts: 1,164 Member
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    Encourage them, tell them they are making improvements. Teach them to help them

    You don't understand. No, no, and no. I've known super obese Polynesians who were heavy lifters, brothers, ran a moving business. Healthy blood, normal BP, good endurance. At the gym and at work were treated with respect. Take them anywhere casual and absolute strangers express their "concern" and give UNWARRANTED, UNPROVOKED advice on their "health." No. You don't know anything about a fat stranger at the gym. Doc gave my buddies seal of approval, told them it's all Gucci unless they start to feel adverse effects. They don't need your condescending reminders that they are"too" fat, unwanted, and must be exercising for weight loss, amirite? Because God forbid a fatty like riding a bike! Are you even aware that weekly exercise has health benefits even for those who don't exercise enough to lose weight? And not all fat people eat burgers and fries and cake. You can get fat by eating too many calories of any food. Reject the stigma. Learn some respect.

    Thank you so much for saying this. I am one of the "fat people in the gym" and I can whip some a** in there, believe it - male or female, people have trouble keeping up with me. I have had people come up to me in the gym with a sticky-sweet smile on their face - usually it's older ladies - and say something "encouraging" to me, and I can tell when they do it they just feel SO GOOD about themselves for being nice to the fat girl. B****, I have been in here every Wednesday and Sunday for an hour for the last year - AND this is the first time I've seen YOU in here, so don't throw me some BS about "keep up the good work!" I AM KEEPING UP THE GOOD WORK. It may not show in my size, but I am keeping it up. My weight loss is slow. I am working on it every day. Just because I don't fit someone's ideal of what a "gym rat" looks like, it does not mean I am not serious about my fitness - I am serious as cancer. I am dedicated. And I don't need anyone's pity or condescension masked as "encouragement." Because you know what? In addition to kicking a** in the gym, I have a master's degree, my income is well over six figures, I have an awesome marriage and great friends and a smart, healthy, happy son I am unbelievably proud of. My life is just fine, thankyouverymuch. So take your "encouragement" and shove it. If you want to do something for me? Leave me alone. I'm not at the gym to make friends; I already have plenty of friends (BTW, if you're looking for me and my friends? We're the cool girls sitting at the best table in the the hottest restaurant, wearing the expensive shoes.) And if you REALLY want to help me out? Wipe off the damn machine when you're done with it. My high-paying, prestigious job is demanding, and I don't have time to take sick leave because I pick something up from the snot and sweat you left on the handles.

    Now. Someone get me a guest spot on "Louie."

    Love it!!!!!
  • ashleyisgreat
    ashleyisgreat Posts: 586 Member
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    It amazes me how so many people can turn something nice (like the original post) and twist it into something offensive.

    It equally amazes me that someone coming up and patronising me just because I'm fat and exercising is supposed to make me feel warm and fuzzy.

    :drinker:
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    OMG bunch of asshats in here.

    ALL you have to do to NOT be perceived as a condescending a-hole is to NOT be a condescending a-hole. THINK of what you are about to say and ask yourself if it would be appropriate to say to a thin person. If not don't say it. For instance do you walk up to the fittest guy at the weights and go "Good Job DUDE keep it up and one day you'll be like me!". Do you go up to the sveltest cardio bunny and say "Awww hun, I know it's hard now but ONE DAY it will all pay off!" NO, you don't.

    If you truly want to encourage just have...ready for this...it's a doozy...gonna blow yer mind right now...NORMAL CONVERSATION. Talk about the weights, how they just ordered new one's and they're coming in soon. Or the fact that you were just wondering how many reps are really necessary and what's their take. Or anything at all you'd talk about with a NORMAL person you were interested in learning more about/befriending. Because underneath all that fat that has you so hypnotized and "INSPIRED" there is just that, a NORMAL person who wants to be seen for that not as your pet project or barometer by which you measure your OWN success.

    I ain't your f.king measuring stick! I'm a real person with goals of my own, my own history, my own ideals, my own hang ups, my own obstacles, and my own gumption. DO NOT get in the way of that to make yourself feel better.

    And we will all get along just fine if you can manage that.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    Encourage them, tell them they are making improvements. Teach them to help them

    You don't understand. No, no, and no. I've known super obese Polynesians who were heavy lifters, brothers, ran a moving business. Healthy blood, normal BP, good endurance. At the gym and at work were treated with respect. Take them anywhere casual and absolute strangers express their "concern" and give UNWARRANTED, UNPROVOKED advice on their "health." No. You don't know anything about a fat stranger at the gym. Doc gave my buddies seal of approval, told them it's all Gucci unless they start to feel adverse effects. They don't need your condescending reminders that they are"too" fat, unwanted, and must be exercising for weight loss, amirite? Because God forbid a fatty like riding a bike! Are you even aware that weekly exercise has health benefits even for those who don't exercise enough to lose weight? And not all fat people eat burgers and fries and cake. You can get fat by eating too many calories of any food. Reject the stigma. Learn some respect.

    Thank you so much for saying this. I am one of the "fat people in the gym" and I can whip some a** in there, believe it - male or female, people have trouble keeping up with me. I have had people come up to me in the gym with a sticky-sweet smile on their face - usually it's older ladies - and say something "encouraging" to me, and I can tell when they do it they just feel SO GOOD about themselves for being nice to the fat girl. B****, I have been in here every Wednesday and Sunday for an hour for the last year - AND this is the first time I've seen YOU in here, so don't throw me some BS about "keep up the good work!" I AM KEEPING UP THE GOOD WORK. It may not show in my size, but I am keeping it up. My weight loss is slow. I am working on it every day. Just because I don't fit someone's ideal of what a "gym rat" looks like, it does not mean I am not serious about my fitness - I am serious as cancer. I am dedicated. And I don't need anyone's pity or condescension masked as "encouragement." Because you know what? In addition to kicking a** in the gym, I have a master's degree, my income is well over six figures, I have an awesome marriage and great friends and a smart, healthy, happy son I am unbelievably proud of. My life is just fine, thankyouverymuch. So take your "encouragement" and shove it. If you want to do something for me? Leave me alone. I'm not at the gym to make friends; I already have plenty of friends (BTW, if you're looking for me and my friends? We're the cool girls sitting at the best table in the the hottest restaurant, wearing the expensive shoes.) And if you REALLY want to help me out? Wipe off the damn machine when you're done with it. My high-paying, prestigious job is demanding, and I don't have time to take sick leave because I pick something up from the snot and sweat you left on the handles.

    Now. Someone get me a guest spot on "Louie."

    Love it!!!!!

    Meh. I don't even have to have a prestigious job that makes me too important to clean up other peoples sweat, or be "kicking *kitten*" in any of the classes to deserve for ppl to have enough respect and common courtesy to shut their trap. I deserve it just because I do.
  • QueenBishOTUniverse
    QueenBishOTUniverse Posts: 14,121 Member
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    Seriously, you don't walk up to someone who is overweight and "congratulate" them for their hard work for the same reason you don't walk up to someone of a different ethnicity and congratulate them for how articulate they are.....

    Both statements imply an assumption about the group of people you are comparing them to.
  • tworthen79
    tworthen79 Posts: 1,173 Member
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    I'd rather something like that than checking out my *kitten* or making winky-faces at me through the mirror...

    tumblr_lkx13gasLb1qaep6qo1_400.gif
  • PennyVonDread
    PennyVonDread Posts: 432 Member
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    Encourage them, tell them they are making improvements. Teach them to help them

    You don't understand. No, no, and no. I've known super obese Polynesians who were heavy lifters, brothers, ran a moving business. Healthy blood, normal BP, good endurance. At the gym and at work were treated with respect. Take them anywhere casual and absolute strangers express their "concern" and give UNWARRANTED, UNPROVOKED advice on their "health." No. You don't know anything about a fat stranger at the gym. Doc gave my buddies seal of approval, told them it's all Gucci unless they start to feel adverse effects. They don't need your condescending reminders that they are"too" fat, unwanted, and must be exercising for weight loss, amirite? Because God forbid a fatty like riding a bike! Are you even aware that weekly exercise has health benefits even for those who don't exercise enough to lose weight? And not all fat people eat burgers and fries and cake. You can get fat by eating too many calories of any food. Reject the stigma. Learn some respect.


    Actual many of these people you say I don't know Ive actually been thanked by them for wanting to encourage them and help them

    You got lucky they were on the same page. That doesn't excuse the prejudices towards fatness and belittling mentality. I got fat on prescribed dietary meal supplements post hospital. I had heart failure and went from a BMI of 23 to 33 because I had been living with a blood disorder that was undiagnosed and was not retaining nutrients. I was healthy and in recovery from my heart giving out. I never stopped running. I have been a distance runner for years, and the comments I got when I was recovering from near-death were so healthist, fat-biased, hate in the guise of "support." Because no one can tell you run 30 miles a week when you're fat, and they're always astonished when you tell them because all we ever hear on media is fat=bad, unhealthy, pity, unattractive, low self esteem, unacceptable, needs to be reversed. And for the record? Weight loss is a personal choice, not a moral one. I don't think anyone was any less human or valuable in their fat body as opposed to the "earned" thinner one. We should be encouraging people to value humanity over size based aesthetics, not telling people they aren't Ok now but could be acceptable with workouts over time.


    Just because someone attacked you doesn't mean all of us are like that. Your letting what happened to you dictate how I support individuals and in hindsight are attacking me because I choose to offer a hand to someone.

    No. I'm fighting an entire cultural bias against people who aren't represented with any dignity in mainstream media. You are still entirely missing the point that human value does not change with size, that size does not make you a better human, that even fat people suffer internalized fat bias and think they are awful and need to change to be considered human. And currently? They're right. Because of mindsets like this that reinforce value as a matter of body fat % and not personhood.


    And how do you know this, have you done any research or is this opinion based on your own personal experiences

    Of course I've done research on this. I'm a nurse against fat bias. All my patients deserve the best care and treatments available for the body they inhabit NOW. It's NOT OKAY to refuse to treat someone unless they lose weight. This usually leads to desperation and crash diets and harm to clients who should have been helped initially. Doctors don't always help. They diagnose "fat" as an illness with no real answer to a problem because fat bias is especially railed in healthcare professionals curriculum. People have and are literally dying over this. Look it up. I swore I would provide the best care for ALL clients and I will stand up for their dignity and rights. This is an every day battle for equal treatment and I'm not afraid of the opinions of internet strangers. And those of you who think they don't deserve treatment without weight loss? Reconsider that a human in pain is less worthy for ANY REASON and tell me that's not a bias. If their care and humanity is conditional, you need to seriously consider what that says about you and your culture.
  • caitconquersweight
    caitconquersweight Posts: 316 Member
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    I'm so happy that my apartment complex is getting its own fitness room. It'll be nice to have some machines in case I want to do something different.

    But I never enjoyed the gym. I don't like comparing myself to others. And believe me, I always ended up doing it. Everyone around me was walking at 4.0+, and I wasn't able to get up to 4.0 without DYING. It took me half an hour to walk a mile. I just don't think I'm cut out for the gym. I've done much better at home.
  • Cre8veLifeR
    Cre8veLifeR Posts: 1,062 Member
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    YAY for people who go to the gym. Or walk. Or ride their bikes. Or dance. Or kickbox. Or do anything besides sit around eating cookies, or sit around NOT eating cookies. Seriously - skinny-fat people are JUST as unhealthy as large people sweating it out on the treadmill.
  • SleepKoala
    SleepKoala Posts: 26
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    I actually appreciated the first post very much. I am terrified of being made fun of at the gym. Even though a gym is for PEOPLE TO GET FIT. It's a big reason why I don't in fact go to the gym. Thanks for that.. ^^ I won't come back to this little thread tho.. seems a little heated in here : / Take care ppl.
  • Kevalicious99
    Kevalicious99 Posts: 1,131 Member
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    I personally have a huge huge amount of respect for "fat people at the gym". I know that I was once there ... at least in my opinion. And it was intimidating .. but in the end I was there for me and no one else so I just did it.

    Now well I am reasonably skinny according to some people and reasonably fit, but I still have great respect for those people that make the effort to get out there and take care of themselves.

    So to these people .... Just do it and who cares what anyone thinks about it.
  • GlassslippersAndFairyDust
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    OP: :flowerforyou:
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    Since OP has been there I understand where he is coming from. I think is genuinely trying to be encouraging.

    I know its a sticky subject and some will be offended and some will not. That's life and everything that one says isn't going to go well with everyone.

    It is what it is. As adults all we can do is accept it and move on. lol

    Or

    debate about it online.

    Carry on..... lmao

    That's bull. I've been both places twice. Been a little heavy. Been the person who lost all the weight. I do NOT see people more obese than me at the gym as charity cases or anything else. I just see them as another person working on themselves to whatever aim for whatever reason at whatever stage in the game. They are not for me and I am not for them. Shet rolls downhill. Does that mean if I let some fit chick "awwwwwwwwwwww" and "dont worry hun" me, I get to look for a person fatter than me and do all that to her? We are all better than someone. And all worse than someone. The gym is not a totem pole for us to get our jollies out of patronizing others. It's a place to work on ourselves with specialized equipment for that. If that lady who's got an extra hundred pounds on me needs motivation or counseling I trust that she will seek that out at counseling or therapy or a support group of some kind if that's what SHE decides she needs. It's not my place. Now if she needs to know where the towels are b/c she's walking around aimlessly CLEARLY looking for them and grabbing paper towels in the interim, yeah, I'll help her out. I'd do the same for a skinny broad too though. Or a buff dude. No matter.
  • PennyVonDread
    PennyVonDread Posts: 432 Member
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    YAY for people who go to the gym. Or walk. Or ride their bikes. Or dance. Or kickbox. Or do anything besides sit around eating cookies, or sit around NOT eating cookies. Seriously - skinny-fat people are JUST as unhealthy as large people sweating it out on the treadmill.

    Skinny fat people and lazy fat people have a right to agency over their bodies and how they choose to live their lives. No one is obligated to be healthy period. No one is obligated to do anything. If health is a moral structure to you, check your able body privileges.