Fat people in the gym

On the one hand, it's cool that you want to try to be a positive force in a world full of negative.

But to be completely honest, I'd rather not be bothered when I'm working my *kitten* off. If you wanna work in, need a spot, anything like that, feel free to ask. But otherwise, it doesn't really do anything for some people...self included.

So, I shouldn't roll up and complement your form?

I'll answer that. I try to have good form. At any weight. If you rolled up on me and complimented my form in a gym full of badasses, I'd accept that I had great form and you noticed THAT amongst everyone else. My ego can totally take that I have THE SINGLE BEST form of all the gym. Conversely if my form is sucking ALL TEH BALLS and I am in danger of harming myself ALSO by all means come up and fill me in. Even if you are Mrs. Universe I will be able to see past all your gorgeousness to hear your words and if they make sense they make sense and I will take it. I presume you will not be running up to me with a bouquet of flowers and a sappy hallmark card just because I had the audacity and cojones to show my fat *kitten* up at the same gym as you? Amirite?

Encourage them, tell them they are making improvements. Teach them to help them

You don't understand. No, no, and no. I've known super obese Polynesians who were heavy lifters, brothers, ran a moving business. Healthy blood, normal BP, good endurance. At the gym and at work were treated with respect. Take them anywhere casual and absolute strangers express their "concern" and give UNWARRANTED, UNPROVOKED advice on their "health." No. You don't know anything about a fat stranger at the gym. Doc gave my buddies seal of approval, told them it's all Gucci unless they start to feel adverse effects. They don't need your condescending reminders that they are"too" fat, unwanted, and must be exercising for weight loss, amirite? Because God forbid a fatty like riding a bike! Are you even aware that weekly exercise has health benefits even for those who don't exercise enough to lose weight? And not all fat people eat burgers and fries and cake. You can get fat by eating too many calories of any food. Reject the stigma. Learn some respect.

Thank you so much for saying this. I am one of the "fat people in the gym" and I can whip some a** in there, believe it - male or female, people have trouble keeping up with me. I have had people come up to me in the gym with a sticky-sweet smile on their face - usually it's older ladies - and say something "encouraging" to me, and I can tell when they do it they just feel SO GOOD about themselves for being nice to the fat girl. B****, I have been in here every Wednesday and Sunday for an hour for the last year - AND this is the first time I've seen YOU in here, so don't throw me some BS about "keep up the good work!" I AM KEEPING UP THE GOOD WORK. It may not show in my size, but I am keeping it up. My weight loss is slow. I am working on it every day. Just because I don't fit someone's ideal of what a "gym rat" looks like, it does not mean I am not serious about my fitness - I am serious as cancer. I am dedicated. And I don't need anyone's pity or condescension masked as "encouragement." Because you know what? In addition to kicking a** in the gym, I have a master's degree, my income is well over six figures, I have an awesome marriage and great friends and a smart, healthy, happy son I am unbelievably proud of. My life is just fine, thankyouverymuch. So take your "encouragement" and shove it. If you want to do something for me? Leave me alone. I'm not at the gym to make friends; I already have plenty of friends (BTW, if you're looking for me and my friends? We're the cool girls sitting at the best table in the the hottest restaurant, wearing the expensive shoes.) And if you REALLY want to help me out? Wipe off the damn machine when you're done with it. My high-paying, prestigious job is demanding, and I don't have time to take sick leave because I pick something up from the snot and sweat you left on the handles.

Now. Someone get me a guest spot on "Louie."

You say your working on it everyday good for you and do you think saying you make a lot of money is suppose to impress someone? or saying you eat at fancy restaurants makes you cool :huh: I do free weight so I won't need to wipe off machines and if your so proud of your accomplishments post a profile pic of yourself ill change mine to show my results

While, frankly, I am impressed at my ability to make a lot of money - because I busted *kitten* in college, and in graduate school, and in my career, to get where I am, I don't think it makes me a better person. My parents were lower-middle-class and we went without a lot of things when I was growing up. Everything I have, I've worked for. I worked hard to achieve what I have done. It doesn't all fit into a "profile pic" on MFP. I would hope everyone would realize the sum total of their life achievements can't necessarily be represented by a bathroom selfie of their abs. All respect to the people who choose to represent their weight loss/physical fitness achievements that way.

I'm VERY proud of my accomplishments. But VERY protective of my privacy, as my job and my husband's are both high-profile, and have us in the public eye in our community and in our professions. That's why I don't have my picture on my profile. With my luck, some intern would end up using it as my bio pic in the conference program, the next time I'm an invited speaker.

I don't think eating in fancy restaurants makes me cool - but I do feel proud that I can walk into a restaurant and pay for whatever I want to order, without putting it on a credit card I'm not going to pay off. I am also proud that when I walk into that restaurant, I get to counteract people's assumptions that fat girls don't do anything but stay home alone with their cats, and eat cookies.

I'm also proud of knowing the difference between "your" and "you're," - although, after six years of college, that's probably kind of a low bar of achievement - but that's a whole other story.

And even in the free weights section? You still drip sweat. So clean it up, please. Because I use the free weights too. It's common courtesy - nothing about being "too good" to do anything. I'm not your mama, so I shouldn't have to clean up after you.

Any more questions or statements on your mind? Here's a good article on the your/you're issue, just in case you need it: http://www.wikihow.com/Use-You're-and-Your

On the one hand, it's cool that you want to try to be a positive force in a world full of negative.

But to be completely honest, I'd rather not be bothered when I'm working my *kitten* off. If you wanna work in, need a spot, anything like that, feel free to ask. But otherwise, it doesn't really do anything for some people...self included.

So, I shouldn't roll up and complement your form?

I'll answer that. I try to have good form. At any weight. If you rolled up on me and complimented my form in a gym full of badasses, I'd accept that I had great form and you noticed THAT amongst everyone else. My ego can totally take that I have THE SINGLE BEST form of all the gym. Conversely if my form is sucking ALL TEH BALLS and I am in danger of harming myself ALSO by all means come up and fill me in. Even if you are Mrs. Universe I will be able to see past all your gorgeousness to hear your words and if they make sense they make sense and I will take it. I presume you will not be running up to me with a bouquet of flowers and a sappy hallmark card just because I had the audacity and cojones to show my fat *kitten* up at the same gym as you? Amirite?

:huh:

Was just flirting with Ennui_Miller?

PS you can check my particular update about this thread and see that we're in total agreement here.

Encouragement and support is a main premise of MFP...why should offering the same in person be so different? Online it is applauded and encouraged, in person it is seen as condescension? Our society has become so disconnected.