Fat people in the gym

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  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    Encouragement and support is a main premise of MFP...why should offering the same in person be so different? Online it is applauded and encouraged, in person it is seen as condescension? Our society has become so disconnected.

    no. it's condescending the way the OP put it and that's it. don't try to make it a time and place thing. it's not. it's an i think i'm better than you thing.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    i better leave. i'm gonna die in this thread. i shoulda never came in here. it's a bust.
  • ashleyisgreat
    ashleyisgreat Posts: 586 Member
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    Encouragement and support is a main premise of MFP...why should offering the same in person be so different? Online it is applauded and encouraged, in person it is seen as condescension? Our society has become so disconnected.

    I don't know, I think MFP is inherently different. If you are here and you post on the forums or on your wall, you are kind of asking for support and encouragement. Right? So if I post something about feeling proud for finally getting on a treadmill and people respond with encouragement, that's all quite different than a stranger walking up to me and assuming that getting on a treadmill is a big deal for me because I'm fat.
  • rm33064
    rm33064 Posts: 270 Member
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    Encouragement and support is a main premise of MFP...why should offering the same in person be so different? Online it is applauded and encouraged, in person it is seen as condescension? Our society has become so disconnected.

    What, you randomly message "fat people" on mfp and let them know how great you think it is that their trying not to be "fat" anymore? Actually, no you don't do that here and you shouldn't in person either.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    Before I try real hard to ground myself from this thread I just want to say this is probably the least Motivational or Supportive thread on MFP that I've personally come across. I don't know bout any of the rest of you "fat" people. For me though, it is. Least.

    I'd like to nominate it for that.
  • fitfreakymom
    fitfreakymom Posts: 1,400 Member
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    I do not look at you to look down on you or because I think you have nothing to do there.
    I look at you in admiration! remember that

    I know how hard it is to get started(been there myself), and how easy it is to quit.
    But remember this is a lifetime commitment, not a quick fix.
    And most of the people at the gym are more than happy to help if you ask.

    Now get back in there and kick some butt !

    Get over yourself, you look at them and think how much better you are. Nobody in the gym gives a crap what you think about anything. They don't look at you and think hey, I wanna look like that summer's eve who's constantly checking himself out in the mirrors someday. They don't see you as some beautiful fitness guru with all the answers to their problems; that's just how you see yourself...
    Wow
  • fitfreakymom
    fitfreakymom Posts: 1,400 Member
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    When I was bigger I welcomed all help lol and still would
  • futurejedi
    futurejedi Posts: 111
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    Encourage them, tell them they are making improvements. Teach them to help them

    Teach them, help them!

    Not all "FAT" people need to be taught or helped! I'm a tubby 177 lbs. and I have stayed for the past 10 yrs at 135 lbs. I have some major health issues going on and I don't need to be taught, or helped when I'm at the gym! Sometimes it is those muscle heads who need to be taught and helped....FAT PEOPLE AREN'T STUPID AND DON'T NEED TO BE TAUGHT OR HELPED. WE HAVE A BRAIN! WE ARE ABLE TO FIGURE OUT THOSE FANCY TREADMILLS, AND WE KNOW HOW TO LIFT WEIGHTS AS WE THROW THEM THRU THE WINDOWS AT MUSCLE HEADS THAT THINK WE ARE STUPID!

    When did I ever say someone was stupid in my post? If you were doing a lift wrong I would hope someone would want to "help' and "teach" you so you don't end up hurting yourself. I never said anything about treadmills either.
  • ZombieEarhart
    ZombieEarhart Posts: 320 Member
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    Encouragement and support is a main premise of MFP...why should offering the same in person be so different? Online it is applauded and encouraged, in person it is seen as condescension? Our society has become so disconnected.

    Um. Because when I'm here my profile and ticker display my goals, and if you "see" me on the forums i've come here to talk and share. I don't wear my goals on my t-shirt at the gym, so if you (or any stranger) complimented or cheered me on for being at the gym, it would be based only on your perception of me as a fat person. Can you see how different the two situations are?
  • HaelaBaer
    HaelaBaer Posts: 44
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    I won't go to the gym. Not for awhile. Because of self esteem. But if I had to go, and I was doing something wrong, I'd want you to feel comfortable enough to tell me kindly. So I don't hurt myself.
    Once I did it right, feel free to encourage me. Don't congratulate me just for being there.
    There's nothing wrong with saying 'fat'. It's better than 'corpulent' .
  • QueenBishOTUniverse
    QueenBishOTUniverse Posts: 14,121 Member
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    First, this type of "praise" indicates that you are placing the person you are "complimenting" into a category you have defined (fat person), whether they would place themselves in that category or not. Strike one.

    Second, you are then singling this person out as worthy of praise, because they are somehow "different" (at the gym working hard) from other members of the category you've put them in (lazy fat people sitting on the couch), and therefor "better" then the others, who aren't as good. Strike two.

    Third, what makes them "better" is that they are working to be more like the category you belong to (skinny people), and clearly the category you belong to is better than the category they are currently in. Strike three.

    Sorry, not a compliment.
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
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    Funny, the OP has respect for larger people at the gym simply because they're bigger and at the gym, but I wonder does that respect extend to all people? Is the OP gonna pat my head and tell me good job if he sees me on the treadmill? I mean, I'm a crap runner and I hate running with ever fiber of my being, so don't I deserve credit for showing up as well?


    Doubtful.
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,012 Member
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    I do not look at you to look down on you or because I think you have nothing to do there.
    I look at you in admiration! remember that

    I know how hard it is to get started(been there myself), and how easy it is to quit.
    But remember this is a lifetime commitment, not a quick fix.
    And most of the people at the gym are more than happy to help if you ask.

    Now get back in there and kick some butt !

    I feel this way about skinny people. I don't look down on you cause you are scrawny (unless you are doing curls in the squat rack).
  • loribethrice
    loribethrice Posts: 620 Member
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    I often want to cheer larger people jogging or cycling because I'm proud of them making the effort but don't want them to take it as a jibe or sarcastic, so I don't do it because I'd never want them to stop because they though they shouldn't be doing it, or are embarrassed or because of me saying the wrong thing.

    In fact I want to hug them and tell them to keep going, it will all be worth it. :flowerforyou:

    I've always wanted to do this but I fear that they'll take offense and take it the wrong way..

    It's not that they're taking it the wrong way, it's that this mentality is extremely condescending. Not everyone who goes to the gym is there to lose weight, or hear that you and other absolute strangers assume they are unhealthy pariahs who need to be"fixed" to be treated as normal people. Trust me. Fat people are reminded daily that they are not wanted or need to change. Don't assume, don't think you know their reasons for being there. You want to respect them? Leave them alone unless they approach you, just like anyone else minding their own business. Treat people like all other people, with basic decency and respect for boundaries. Don't invade their space if you wouldn't do it to a thin person. Sincerely, from someone who was obese.

    :drinker:
  • sassyjae21
    sassyjae21 Posts: 1,217 Member
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    People should just NOT make weird comments to people at the gym. Good lord. Just do your workout and gtfo.
  • nz_deevaa
    nz_deevaa Posts: 12,209 Member
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    Dear Fit people in the gym.

    I do not look at you to look down on you or because I think you have nothing to do there.
    I look at you in admiration! remember that.

    I know how hard it is to get started(been there myself), and how easy it is to quit.
    But remember this is a lifetime commitment, not a quick fix.
    And most of the people at the gym are more than happy to help if you ask.

    Now get back in there and kick some butt !

    Fatty Fatso.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
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    People should just NOT make weird comments to people at the gym. Good lord. Just do your workout and gtfo.

    this..
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
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    Thank you!!1 Very well said

    But if I do fall or something, feel free to laugh. :flowerforyou:

    Or if I fart while doing incline crunches. It's happened before...

    Squats.

    On task, this thread makes me squint my eyes and purse my lips off to the side of my face.

    5bf6ab82-969f-4efb-8148-542ad86585e5_zpsc3b99b54.jpg
  • _Pseudonymous_
    _Pseudonymous_ Posts: 1,671 Member
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    If someone were to come up to me and made a comment about my improvement then that is totally acceptable. If someone told me I inspired them (for some crazy reason) then I would feel humbled and complimented.


    If someone tried to pat me on the back or try to make suggestions as to what types of exercise I should do or the classes I should take I would be annoyed... I'm in doing stronglifts 5x5 and whatever cardio I choose to do. I research, I ask questions, I do not need unsolicited suggestions on how to lose weight. I will find those answers myself.


    However, that being said. If someone offered me advice on how to improve the current activities that I am focused on then I welcome those. I am new to lifting so my form could very well, and most likely is, a bit off.

    I think it's really common sense. We should be able to tell when something is condescending. Should being the operative word. Many don't and they end up being douchenozzles and don't care or embarrassed as all get out.

    But if you want to tell me how I am looking totally awesome I will say thank you and shash-shay away with some extra twerk in my step. (because let's be honest, squats make that shash-shay all that more awesome)
  • Cadori
    Cadori Posts: 4,810 Member
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    Dear Fit people in the gym.

    I do not look at you to look down on you or because I think you have nothing to do there.
    I look at you in admiration! remember that.

    I know how hard it is to get started(been there myself), and how easy it is to quit.
    But remember this is a lifetime commitment, not a quick fix.
    And most of the people at the gym are more than happy to help if you ask.

    Now get back in there and kick some butt !
    Strongy McStrongerson

    FIFY :flowerforyou:

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