Long...but serious stuff. Need advice!! :)

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  • scarrletti_girl
    scarrletti_girl Posts: 479 Member
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    my mom has to deal with an ex just like that. I'm sorry. no one should have to deal with that. I would go to mediation anyways and if moving away is what's best for your kids i think you should do that as well (legally of course). you and your kid's life shouldn't revolve just around a controlling manipulative person. if you don't move it's just him controlling you all over again. he is toxic and i applaud you for leaving him and getting the courage to fight. good luck on whatever you do and i wish you and your kids the best.
  • jkandktmom
    jkandktmom Posts: 1,010 Member
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    I had a very similar situation and I was told I could not move. We went to mediation and the mediator report back that we "could not agree". She in no way influenced the judge one way or another. We were forced to take it to court- I backed down because I didn't want my kids to have to go through the court process.

    I’m not saying this to discourage you. I just wanted to point out that it’s not as easy as picking up and moving. He can, and probably will, file a contempt motion against you. This could mean a fine or time in jail. Be prepared to go to court. Make sure you have documentation on everything you are saying.
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
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    Well the good thing is he does have a record with the courts already...and DCF. And I am looking to move 15 min OUT of a bad area and into a better one with better schools. A mediator may be able to help him see reason about that. What father would force his child to stay in a not so great school system? Especially when the distance is nothing crazy. And again, he does owe thousands in back rent. THAT is the reason he doesn't want him to change schools. He puts himself and his needs above all else.

    Regardless of whether I do mediation or just file a preemptive motion at court...I will do it all legally. I have to set the example for my boys and keep it all cool. He doesn't control me and I would think a Bridgeport judge would be able to see through the nonsense. I guess we'll see. :smile:

    THIS is the reason I'm a cardio addict. Endorphins help me get through the stress of it all and keep me happy anyway! :laugh:
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
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    I read it all! I'm sorry you went through that and I have been in a similar situation, though not as bad to where I left.

    I'm in awe that he was in NURSING SCHOOL? He's that much of a ****head and he's a nurse?! Are you freaking kidding me? Makes me sick.

    Anyway. If you're looking to move, I'd do everything legally. If you have to go to court, then I would. Who cares what he does or how he acts? He doesn't control you, not anymore. Take care of you and your kids and do what's best for you guys. Forget him.

    He was a journalist and then got into PR. Then was talking about becoming a lawyer then a teacher...and settled on nursing school. He's a big guy, 6'4"...and seems to be doing well in the psych ward! lol I guess it makes sense. I just want him to get into a stable job as he has not had one in about 5 years. Most everyone who knows he's a nurse asks what hospital he'll be at so they can be sure to go elsewhere. :wink:
  • karmac0matic
    karmac0matic Posts: 285
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    Have to go out now, saving to read later.

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