Cheat meal vs. indulgence

Are the cookies in the house because of others?

I personally find that having good fats like fish oil (not capsules, e.g. Carson's) - keeps all those cravings to almost zero and if I have a cookie, it fits my daily goals and I don't think about it again for weeks.

I personally find that having good fats like fish oil (not capsules, e.g. Carson's) - keeps all those cravings to almost zero and if I have a cookie, it fits my daily goals and I don't think about it again for weeks.

Exactly this. It was horrible controlling my cravings (especially since my husband isn't on a diet), but after switching to low carb and introducing more fats, all the cravings disappeared. Now I have one planned 'cheat' meal a week, but lately I wasn't even finishing them because I didn't want them (talking about cake here, btw). Which surprised me to no end the first time it happened, since I've always had incredibly sweet tooth.

I had a good conversation with my trainer last night about cheat meals - I had a day that I struggled on Sunday - stayed under my calories but didn't necessarily get my calories from healthy sources.

He says a cheat meal is great - but to me - a cheat meal is a planned event. Making a conscious decision to have a meal of indulgence. I say what I did - eating a cookie every time I walked through the kitchen - wasn't a cheat meal - it was a weakness.
Trying to make that shift from weakness - to planned moments....

Thoughts?

Log it and include it in your day. Viewing a cookie as a "weakness" implies it is inherently "bad." If you want it, eat it. A "cheat day" shouldn't exist if you include the things you like in your everyday foods. Trainers aren't always the best equipped to handle nutrition advice.

I think it is mostly about coming up at the end of the day with the right numbers. Make sure to log everything you eat. I have only been on here a few days, but I am already seeing that I kind of get a nagging in the back of my head if I want a cookie or something, reminding me of how many calories I have left today. So it's like I am guilted into making the right decision. For example, my daily fat goal is 65g. I was going to put pecans in my oatmeal this morning - 20g of fat - but I went for almonds because the same amount is 15g fat. When I see that cookie that is 400 calories all by itself, I amk myself if it is worth skipping lunch completely, and being hungry all day? I know once I eat lunch the craving will go away.

Also, it helps that I live alone, so I do not keep any junk food in the house to be tempted with. For me, "cheating" is little tricks like this that I use to KEEP from eating the cookie. Actually having the cookie teeters on the edge of failing, and I am determined. I don't want to fail.

On the other side, I knew we were planning to have pizza and cupcakes at a birthday party. I ate really healthily all day, got a workout in to defray some of the calories too. Time came for pizza and it just...wasn't that good. I had built it up, and even though I USUALLY love pizza, I ate it and didn't feel that emotional connection I used to feel with food. I didn't even eat a cupcake either, I saved my extra calories for a glass of wine. It was a crazy birthday party with like 30 kids and I had to chase my 19 month old twins around for two hours. The glass of wine, although relatively spontaneous, was damn good

I'd say don't feel guilty about it. The way I try to arrange my calories in a given day is that I log them, and if I want to eat a chocolate chip cookie, then I have to realize that THAT is probably replacing a sizable salad with my favorite (naturally) low-calorie dressing. So, is the cookie more worth it because I want something sweet, or I'm feeling emotionally vulnerable? Or is the salad more worth it because it's a filling and nutritious option? I think each day the answer could change. And I think that should be okay.

I had a good conversation with my trainer last night about cheat meals - I had a day that I struggled on Sunday - stayed under my calories but didn't necessarily get my calories from healthy sources.

He says a cheat meal is great - but to me - a cheat meal is a planned event. Making a conscious decision to have a meal of indulgence. I say what I did - eating a cookie every time I walked through the kitchen - wasn't a cheat meal - it was a weakness.
Trying to make that shift from weakness - to planned moments....

Thoughts?

Log it and include it in your day. Viewing a cookie as a "weakness" implies it is inherently "bad." If you want it, eat it. A "cheat day" shouldn't exist if you include the things you like in your everyday foods. Trainers aren't always the best equipped to handle nutrition advice.

I did log it.
I guess I'm feeling guilty because of it.
And while I know the cookie isn't the root source of my issue, I want to want this worse than a cookie.

Maybe that's the part you need to work on. That, and the "all or nothing" thinking. It doesn't have to be lose weight or eat a cookie; get fit or eat a cookie; be healthy or eat a cookie; have a balanced, nutritious diet or eat a cookie.

I'm not trying to make light of your feelings, and these are issues that a lot of us struggle with. Obviously, if for whatever reason you decided that you didn't want to eat any cookies that day, and could not stop yourself from doing do, or you absolutely only planned to eat one, and you somehow ended up eating 20 - then there is an issue there with restraint and self-control. It's not the end of the world though, new habits take time to become ingrained. Moderation takes practice. I have got so much better at resisting temptation (and giving into temptation where appropriate) and really, not even being tempted by a lot of the things I used to, but I am aware that there are areas I struggle with more than others. For example, I love to bake, but I know that when I'm baking cookies or whatever, I do find it a little harder to stick to my planned intake for the day. I work with it - I assume that there will be some "tasting" going on while baking, and account for that in my diary. And then I just work that extra bit harder on self restraint that day.

Oh, and I don't really go in for the whole "cheat meal" labelling - just doesn't do anything for me. I eat food. I eat a lot of nutritious food, and some of the food I eat is more for pleasure rather than it's nutritional profile. It's all just food though.

This stuff doesn't happen overnight, but you can change habits, and one of the most important ones to change (imo) is to stop beating yourself up when you eat something you didn't plan to, or eat more than you planned to. So you had a cookie (or a few)... that doesn't mean you aren't going to reach your weight loss/health/fitness goals. We are genetically programmed to want to eat food, and to be drawn to certain types of food in particular. Of course homemade freshly baked cookies are tempting. Give yourself a break. :flowerforyou:

I had a good conversation with my trainer last night about cheat meals - I had a day that I struggled on Sunday - stayed under my calories but didn't necessarily get my calories from healthy sources.

He says a cheat meal is great - but to me - a cheat meal is a planned event. Making a conscious decision to have a meal of indulgence. I say what I did - eating a cookie every time I walked through the kitchen - wasn't a cheat meal - it was a weakness.
Trying to make that shift from weakness - to planned moments....

Thoughts?

Out of sight, out of mind.
Put those things in a place you wont easily access them and if someone in the house wants it, they can search and get it out.
My "cheat" meal doesnt necessarily have to be bad food. My cheat meal every week to ten days is a big, juicy steak, baked potatoe butter and sour cream. YUM. A cheat meal doesnt have to be of the junk food variety, and the days I DO plan the cheat meal I usually dont have much else that day.
So in the end I get the benefits of that cheat meal mentally, yet still stay around a maintain caloric intake. Win-Win.

I experience the same challenge.

Its no so much the fact that I eat the cookie that is the problem.
Some days I decide that I will allow myself to have a cookie. I eat the cookie, and enjoy it. I then feel comfortable with that decision. no problem. This is what I call a 'cheat'.

The issue is that sometimes I don't make a conscious decision to eat the cookie - the temptation is too much for me to resist so I eat it without being in control. To me, this is a problem.

Although I allow myself cheat snacks almost everyday, they are all things that can be purchased in single portion size packaging. I buy them each day. If I bought a pack of cookies and left them at home, it would be challenging for me to eat just one a day.

I've been on MFP for about 7 weeks and at this stage my focus is to keep losing weight, so I do not want to challenge myself in this way. I know, however, that if I am going to maintain the weight that I lose, then 'control' is a skill I will need to develop. (Interestingly, I have no problem not buying the pack of cookies whilst in the supermarket. I could easily walk right past it.)

I think that it is about 'instant gratification' vs 'delayed gratification'.
You might want to read up on the Marshmallow Experiment (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_marshmallow_experiment), if you are not familiar with it.
Also this article offers some interesting tips.
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2009/05/18/090518fa_fact_lehrer?currentPage=all

Diets are the things people go on when they want to fail.
Successful people go through life changes, they eat better, stay healthier etcetc but never turn off common sense.Common sense says you are not going to turn into a robot and never enjoy the fat foods again. it is not a weakness to give in to wants and desires, it's a weakness to think you can turn them off and still continue to win at your diet. Excuses, guilt, more excuses will follow as you slowly fail and then look down on yourself ofr no willpower etcetc. Plan on it, give yourself a cheat day. Enjoy the stuff you do in moderation. It will be good to throw your body a curve ball. Have that piece of pie, or that cookie. Moderation is the key on it, don't wake up saturday morning to a dozen donuts followed by a 12 pack and then McDonalds and dinner at the Sloppy Pig or something... but you have got to give yourself some of your pleasure foods or you start hating your lifestyle change... and it will fail.

Personally, we do either Fat Friday or Faturday every week, we do not log that day (but check in obviously.. dat streak!) and have ourselves a guilt free fun day. it helps us maintain the strength and resolve to NOT cheat the rest of the week, the life change never feels too restrictive or anything like that due to this, and it has not once got in the way of weight loss or maintain. Be healthy, be fit, but still enjoy life too

I had to do the same thing. Figuring out why it seemed I just couldn't resist certain foods. My story is pretty extreme though as my highest (known) weight was 350 lbs. and it was crucial for me to learn why I ate the way I did. If there was a plate of homemade cookies in the house, my issue wasn't having one or two, it was having half the plate! The first time I walked past a box of doughnuts at the office, and didn't have that nagging feeling of deprivation, was a happy, empowering day for me. I still have the occassional treat, but they are mostly planned these days, and if I do have an unplanned treat, it's just a blip in my overall trend of healthy eating.

You just have to figure out what's worth it to you, and everyone has different foods and answers to that, and it may change from day to day. The fact that you worked it off says a lot about your determination. Don't worry too much about this.

Totally this! When I am tempted to overeat stuff that isn't in my plan for the day, I like to think about how long I would have to run in order to burn it off.

I don't know if you are at your healthy weight but if you are over your healthy weight I think it would be more important to focus on calorie deficiency than to focus on nutruition. Nutrition is definitely important but there are so many greater health benefits to weight loss. If you are struggling to acheive "healthy weight" then keep your diet simple, keep your eye on the prize, and don't worry so much about nutrition (for now.) You neen protein to keep muscle so don't ONLY eat cookies lol but otherwise focus on calorie deficit, eat a multi-vitamin and enjoy yourself.

I just giggled because my trainer would have a stroke - LOL
Yes, I'm trying to lose weight and am far from a healthy weight.

Trying to get away from that all or nothing mentality - but I'm focused and sometimes that freaky OCD part of me helps with that - LOL

Just something to consider, but when you subconsciously think that you shouldn't do X, or you can't do Y it often makes X and Y more difficult to resist. I think you should have a plan for what you want to eat that day since you're already doing that. Let the OCD help there - but then if you think you'd like to eat a cookie, consider how to adjust your plan if you eat the cookie, decide if doing that worth it to you, and follow your decision.

Change things up from a guilty snarfing of a cookie into a considered, planned choosing of a cookie. I think if you do that, you'll find that the cookies and other 'guilty' treats eventually won't seem so irresistible.