One free night a year

135

Replies

  • mank32
    mank32 Posts: 1,323 Member
    well considering I am in the lifestyle one free night a year means you need better friends

    :drinker: :drinker:
  • mank32
    mank32 Posts: 1,323 Member
    I think that one can have sex without being intimate and one can be intimate without sex. There is no such thing as open intimacy.

    stop making me like you. :angry:
  • Platform_Heels
    Platform_Heels Posts: 388 Member
    well considering I am in the lifestyle one free night a year means you need better friends

    :drinker: :drinker:

    *gives the super secret handshake* :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker:
  • snazzyjazzy21
    snazzyjazzy21 Posts: 1,298 Member
    My opinion: If you're seeking sexual/romantic gratification from someone OTHER than your wife/SO, then you're cheating. I don't care if it's "approved" by the spouse... If you truly cared for and loved your spouse, you wouldn't want to be with ANYONE else.

    Disagree. Then again, I don't buy into the idea of being only able to love one person at a time. Just because you love and marry someone, doesn't mean you can't love other people too.
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
    And this is what's wrong with the world.
  • Platform_Heels
    Platform_Heels Posts: 388 Member
    My opinion: If you're seeking sexual/romantic gratification from someone OTHER than your wife/SO, then you're cheating. I don't care if it's "approved" by the spouse... If you truly cared for and loved your spouse, you wouldn't want to be with ANYONE else.

    No, no and NO.

    I love and care for my spouse. I would die without him but it doesn't mean I love him less because I find someone else attractive and I want to sleep with them (provided he finds their spouse attractive as well. It's a team sport)
  • mikeyboy
    mikeyboy Posts: 1,057 Member
    I would be for this, if I had not already found the perfect woman. I really don't need a night of disappointment once a year. :smile:
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
    My opinion: If you're seeking sexual/romantic gratification from someone OTHER than your wife/SO, then you're cheating. I don't care if it's "approved" by the spouse... If you truly cared for and loved your spouse, you wouldn't want to be with ANYONE else.

    No, no and NO.

    I love and care for my spouse. I would die without him but it doesn't mean I love him less because I find someone else attractive and I want to sleep with them (provided he finds their spouse attractive as well. It's a team sport)

    Wanting to sleep with another person who isn't your spouse is a lot different than actually sleeping with that person.
  • Platform_Heels
    Platform_Heels Posts: 388 Member
    My opinion: If you're seeking sexual/romantic gratification from someone OTHER than your wife/SO, then you're cheating. I don't care if it's "approved" by the spouse... If you truly cared for and loved your spouse, you wouldn't want to be with ANYONE else.

    No, no and NO.

    I love and care for my spouse. I would die without him but it doesn't mean I love him less because I find someone else attractive and I want to sleep with them (provided he finds their spouse attractive as well. It's a team sport)

    Wanting to sleep with another person who isn't your spouse is a lot different than actually sleeping with that person.

    ?? Apparently you don't understand my post.
  • I think that one can have sex without being intimate and one can be intimate without sex. There is no such thing as open intimacy.

    stop making me like you. :angry:

    sorry not sorry
  • Candi_land
    Candi_land Posts: 1,311 Member
    I'm way too insecure to handle something like that.
  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,323 Member
    this thread is interesting...it seems to be fairly common to think that having an open marriage means something is wrong with the marriage and/or there is no love there.

    there are PLENNNNTY of couples that happily and successfully engage in open relationships, swapping, additional partners, and a myriad of other activities considered nontraditional.

    the fact that this is so taboo and equates to not loving the other person is just archaic.
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
    nah threeways are more fun
  • Platform_Heels
    Platform_Heels Posts: 388 Member
    this thread is interesting...it seems to be fairly common to think that having an open marriage means something is wrong with the marriage and/or there is no love there.

    there are PLENNNNTY of couples that happily and successfully engage in open relationships, swapping, additional partners, and a myriad of other activities considered nontraditional.

    the fact that this is so taboo and equates to not loving the other person is just archaic.

    ^^^ This. A million times this.
  • QueenBishOTUniverse
    QueenBishOTUniverse Posts: 14,121 Member
    this thread is interesting...it seems to be fairly common to think that having an open marriage means something is wrong with the marriage and/or there is no love there.

    there are PLENNNNTY of couples that happily and successfully engage in open relationships, swapping, additional partners, and a myriad of other activities considered nontraditional.

    the fact that this is so taboo and equates to not loving the other person is just archaic.

    Pretty much this. Monogamy is a social/behavioral construct resulting from the necessarily high level or parental investment for raising human offspring and even in this context it is the exception, not the rule. Monogamy =/= love.
  • Just a little pro-tip: Monogamy is a fairly recent concept for humans. Its also tied to the idea that women are possessions (which is why its MORE taboo for women to engage in poly relationships than it is for men).
  • brando79az
    brando79az Posts: 224 Member
    I threw up a little when I thought about this. Definitely not for me.

    Although... If a certain Hollywood actress.... back in her prime came up to me... NO!
  • QueenBishOTUniverse
    QueenBishOTUniverse Posts: 14,121 Member
    Just a little pro-tip: Monogamy is a fairly recent concept for humans. Its also tied to the idea that women are possessions (which is why its MORE taboo for women to engage in poly relationships than it is for men).

    Males in non-monogamous relationships (not necessarily just referencing humans here) risk the potential of investing in offspring that do not actually carry any of their genetic material, so these taboos and social structures do exist for a reason. An archaic and entirely unnecessary reason in modern society, but my point was to hi-light that the entire concept of monogamy is the result of evolutionary adaptation and has nothing to do with genuine feelings of affection experienced by two people.
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
    this thread is interesting...it seems to be fairly common to think that having an open marriage means something is wrong with the marriage and/or there is no love there.

    there are PLENNNNTY of couples that happily and successfully engage in open relationships, swapping, additional partners, and a myriad of other activities considered nontraditional.

    the fact that this is so taboo and equates to not loving the other person is just archaic.

    Marriage is between two people. Not three, not four. TWO.

    If an individual cannot be/does not want to be with one person, there is absolutely no point in getting married.
  • HerkMeOff
    HerkMeOff Posts: 1,002 Member
    this thread is interesting...it seems to be fairly common to think that having an open marriage means something is wrong with the marriage and/or there is no love there.

    there are PLENNNNTY of couples that happily and successfully engage in open relationships, swapping, additional partners, and a myriad of other activities considered nontraditional.

    the fact that this is so taboo and equates to not loving the other person is just archaic.

    Marriage is between two people. Not three, not four. TWO.

    If an individual cannot be/does not want to be with one person, there is absolutely no point in getting married.

    This concept of an open marriage is obviously too adult for you to handle
  • George_Baileys_Ghost
    George_Baileys_Ghost Posts: 1,524 Member
    this thread is interesting...it seems to be fairly common to think that having an open marriage means something is wrong with the marriage and/or there is no love there.

    there are PLENNNNTY of couples that happily and successfully engage in open relationships, swapping, additional partners, and a myriad of other activities considered nontraditional.

    the fact that this is so taboo and equates to not loving the other person is just archaic.

    Marriage is between two people. Not three, not four. TWO.

    If an individual cannot be/does not want to be with one person, there is absolutely no point in getting married.

    Marriage is exactly what the people involved decide it is. The people in a marriage ascribe value to it. There are people who stay together their whole lives, some in a monogamous relationship without ever going through the ceremony, whether civil or religious, that many of us use to declare the state of marriage. Their relationships can be just as valid, sacred, whatever as one that follows the traditional path. In the same way, a ceremony doesn't always mean anything. Brittany Spears was married and divorced in 24 hours. It's illogical to assume that because her "marriage" fits the construct of your definition, it is somehow more sacred or valid than a union with no ceremony, a union between two or more men and/or women, or any other combination of consenting adults. Sorry kiddo....you don't get to define love for other people. Nobody does...assuming that it doesn't involve force or coercion. In that case, the courts are the authority. Otherwise it's none of your, nor anyone else's business.
  • Sovi_
    Sovi_ Posts: 575 Member
    I'm in, but not for sex or time with another person. I just want to be alone all day. Eat food off my belly and watch daytime tv and infomercials without judgement.
  • snazzyjazzy21
    snazzyjazzy21 Posts: 1,298 Member
    I'm in, but not for sex or time with another person. I just want to be alone all day. Eat food off my belly and watch daytime tv and infomercials without judgement.

    That sounds like a perfect existence :drinker:
  • Sovi_
    Sovi_ Posts: 575 Member
    Would this be considered a cheat meal or a cheat day?


    Both
  • ColeCake292012
    ColeCake292012 Posts: 247 Member
    Never. And I know he would say the same. My opinion is that if you feel you need to be with someone else, ever, then your marriage has serious problems and is probably already over.

    I don't judge others' relationships though, so whatever works for them.

    ^This is EXACTLY what I was going to say.
  • jayce54321
    jayce54321 Posts: 110 Member
    I'd probably spend it with my wife.
  • suziepoo1984
    suziepoo1984 Posts: 915 Member
    If even such a thought enters my husbands mind, he would be in very very big trouble! Oh hell to the NO!
  • Mitzki5
    Mitzki5 Posts: 482 Member
    Not for me.....I am selfish and want my wife all to myself!
  • futurejedi
    futurejedi Posts: 111
    So they live a swinger life style, no big deal. I know plenty of swingers and they are happily married
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
    this thread is interesting...it seems to be fairly common to think that having an open marriage means something is wrong with the marriage and/or there is no love there.

    there are PLENNNNTY of couples that happily and successfully engage in open relationships, swapping, additional partners, and a myriad of other activities considered nontraditional.

    the fact that this is so taboo and equates to not loving the other person is just archaic.

    Marriage is between two people. Not three, not four. TWO.

    If an individual cannot be/does not want to be with one person, there is absolutely no point in getting married.

    This concept of an open marriage is obviously too adult for you to handle

    Um no. I just believe in traditional marriages.