"You're beautiful, you don't need to watch calories."

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Replies

  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    I get this. And while I may not always agree with it, I smile and take it as a huge compliment.
    I guess I don't see the point in getting all up in arms about it.

    Seems kind of like people getting mad about being offered donuts.

    Smile say thanks and go on your merry way.
  • _Waffle_
    _Waffle_ Posts: 13,049 Member
    All three times strangers have turned to me and said 'you don't need to watch your calories, you look great'.

    Flattering. But that's the problem. I look fine because I do watch what I eat. If we did it right, we'd never have to 'lose' weight because we'd watch what we ate our whole life and just maintained.

    h82537656
  • wilsoje74
    wilsoje74 Posts: 1,720 Member
    I don't eat half of a slice of carrot cake, I eat the WHOLE piece!!!.....and it still fits into my calories. Moderation is the key word here. :wink:
    wow where do you get that carrot cake? It's usually so high calorie that to have a piece that's almost all I'd get to eat that day!!!
  • Galatea_Stone
    Galatea_Stone Posts: 2,037 Member
    I don't eat half of a slice of carrot cake, I eat the WHOLE piece!!!.....and it still fits into my calories. Moderation is the key word here. :wink:
    wow where do you get that carrot cake? It's usually so high calorie that to have a piece that's almost all I'd get to eat that day!!!

    I'd like to know, too. We usually split a piece between 4 people in a restaurant, and I still expect it to be over 300 calories for my 1/4 piece.

    I guess I could make it at home, but I don't like shredding carrots.
  • _Pseudonymous_
    _Pseudonymous_ Posts: 1,671 Member
    I am morbidly obese. Though I may just be obese now, I need to check my BMI again and check, but I have heard this same thing. "You are beautiful!" or "YOu carry your weight so well!" or "You don't need to lose weight, you are beautiful just the way you are". Which is all good and dandy and it's nice to know that I can be moderately attractive despite my unhealthy weight.

    The thing a lot of people don't realize is that this whole weightloss thing, getting healthy, exercising, taking care of ourselves. We don't do it for everyone else. At least, I don't. Sure, I enjoy hearing that I am attractive but what good is it for other people to find me attractive if I am not comfortable with how I look?

    Furthermore, we should take pride in ourselves and respect our bodies enough to take care of them because this is the only body we have and if we want it for the long haul then we need to take care of it... I mean, we are stuck with these bodies!

    So all in all, our bodies, what we do to take care of them, it's no one elses concern really? You think I look great? Awesome, that's great to hear but other people opinions have no weight in my personal aspirations for myself. Just keep reminding yourself of that. They don't know your body or what you really want for yourself. You keep doing what you want and need to do for yourself and just smile and nod at the comments of others.
  • ilfaith
    ilfaith Posts: 16,769 Member
    I don't eat half of a slice of carrot cake, I eat the WHOLE piece!!!.....and it still fits into my calories. Moderation is the key word here. :wink:
    wow where do you get that carrot cake? It's usually so high calorie that to have a piece that's almost all I'd get to eat that day!!!

    I'd like to know, too. We usually split a piece between 4 people in a restaurant, and I still expect it to be over 300 calories for my 1/4 piece.

    I guess I could make it at home, but I don't like shredding carrots.

    I would guess the "whole" slice of carrot cake is a normal human portion and not the ginormous dessert you would get at Cheesecake Factory or some similar restaurant.

    As for not needing to watch calories, I do believe that most people with shall we say "enviable" bodies (particularly those beyond their 20s) are mindful of what they put into their mouths. I am not saying they log every bite they take, but I imagine they do pay attention to the amount they are eating, eat healthfully most of the time, and look at desserts or "junk food" as a treat.
  • happysquidmuffin
    happysquidmuffin Posts: 651 Member
    Just more evidence that people don't understand, 99% of healthy, skinny people aren't just magically gifted with "skinny genes" (see what I did there). It's BECAUSE she counts calories that she is able to stay at a healthy weight. People get the cause and effect reversed. Plus, it's not a stranger's darn business to tell you what to eat.
  • __freckles__
    __freckles__ Posts: 1,238 Member
    I think the title is the problem. Three times in the last week people have noticed me logging food on my phone at a restaurant or on a plane. Yesterday I was recommending this awesome carrot cake to my mother-in-law and mentioned that I always split it with my husband because it has literally half the calories I get for the day.

    All three times strangers have turned to me and said 'you don't need to watch your calories, you look great'.

    Flattering. But that's the problem. I look fine because I do watch what I eat. If we did it right, we'd never have to 'lose' weight because we'd watch what we ate our whole life and just maintained.

    For me, I did that fine until I got older and my metabolism slowed down faster than my eating.

    Watching what you eat/calories shouldn't be associated with dieting. They should be associated with living - it's a prevention activity, not an intervention. Just like brushing your teeth prevents calories, it's not something you just do after you get cavities to make them go away.

    End of rant.

    You're preaching to the choir here. If their comments really bug you let them know. But really you should learn to ignore what other people think and not worry about it.
  • _Waffle_
    _Waffle_ Posts: 13,049 Member
    I don't eat half of a slice of carrot cake, I eat the WHOLE piece!!!.....and it still fits into my calories. Moderation is the key word here. :wink:
    wow where do you get that carrot cake? It's usually so high calorie that to have a piece that's almost all I'd get to eat that day!!!

    The Cheesecake Factory has a 990 calorie slice.

    http://www.cheesecakefactorynutrition.com/restaurant-nutrition-chart.php?

    carrot_cake-732238.jpg
  • __freckles__
    __freckles__ Posts: 1,238 Member
    Just more evidence that people don't understand, 99% of healthy, skinny people aren't just magically gifted with "skinny genes" (see what I did there). It's BECAUSE she counts calories that she is able to stay at a healthy weight. People get the cause and effect reversed. Plus, it's not a stranger's darn business to tell you what to eat.

    Most people I know that maintain a healthy weight never count calories. I went 30 years without counting calories and maintained my weight just fine. Now I'm counting to bulk, but before that I thought calorie counting was weird.
  • svsl0928
    svsl0928 Posts: 205 Member
    I was telling a co-worker this morning that exercising and taking care of our health should just a natural has brushing our teeth and coming our hair. As I read in Made To Crave - I use to live to eat; now I eat to live!
  • popshoveit
    popshoveit Posts: 42
    I agree larger is seen as normal in the US. I lived in the US for several years and my husbands side is American. When I get clothing from the US, I'm always a size small. I am not a small at home, I am a medium and sometimes even a large in tops. Same with pant sizes (which are supposed to be the same in Canada, it's not like an England/US sizing difference) I am about a 5/6 pants but if I just got a pair from the US and I am swimming in them. I think they are about an 8 here, comparatively.

    Canada is not far behind though. I know we are getting to be a fatter nation than we used to be. Our food portion sizes have increased, there are more overweight people than there used to be.

    I'm 5'4" and about 124 lbs, people harp on me anytime I mention having to go to the gym or watching my food, I try to just take it for the misguided compliment that it is, but it's true that I only look the way I do BECAUSE I go to the gym and watch my calories!
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
    Ugh. I was talking to my mother the other night and said I'd gone on a spree over the weekend - meaning a cleaning spree. She thought I meant an eating frenzy. I said, "Why do you always assume it has something to do with food??" She back-peddled as fast as she could.

    But later in the conversation we were talking about such things as those people did who assumed you didn't need to watch what you eat because you look great. They don't know the back-story about what it took for you to get there.

    I told her I had been pity-partying and just doing the "poor pitiful me" - "Everybody ELSE can eat Whatever they WANT whenever they Want!!" sorts of things. She said the exact point I was trying to make: we don't know what challenges other people are faced with, and they don't know what challenges we're facing.

    I'm not sure which is better though....or the best way around it either! LOL
  • bikinisuited
    bikinisuited Posts: 881 Member
    Staying beautiful and healthy is an everyday decision of mine 90% of the time. The other 10% is indulgence, treats and/or taking a break. My body is my best accessory therefore ROCK your body!!!
  • Carmen1003
    Carmen1003 Posts: 4 Member
    I go through this all the time. I luckily have never struggled an extreme amount with my weight, but I have lost some and now enjoy exercising and understanding what i am putting in my body. I also know my genetics and could very easily gain weight if I didn't watch myself. People assume if you calorie count you are trying to lose weight, I am trying to maintain and not GAIN weight.
  • levitateme
    levitateme Posts: 999 Member
    I get told regularly (mostly at work, my friends/family are supportive) that I don't "need" to exercise because I have a nice figure or that I'm "lucky" I have nice legs. All of it is a product of 6 months of working out and eating at a deficit. I am still overweight by about 10-15 lbs, I look pretty good in clothes, but not bikini ready by a long shot.

    The average person doesn't understand what it really takes to lose weight and keep it off. This is why the diet industry exists. This is why fat acceptance groups exist.
  • Springfield1970
    Springfield1970 Posts: 1,945 Member
    I'll chip in too. When I was on my family reunion in Hawaii I was actually bulking and still had comments behind my back from my Dad about me 'starving'. Why it offended me was it kind of negates all the hard work I do and turns it in to an unhealthy disorder that I'm slim and fit.

    It's like I'm some kind of weirdo! People are not comfortable about being reminded of their powerlessness and lack of focus.
  • MaracuyaConAzucar
    MaracuyaConAzucar Posts: 11
    They mean well...they're thinking..she probably feels bad about herself, and feels that she needs to go on a diet. That's the immediate thinking, but it's so much more than that. It's gaining strength, gaining control, and balance. It's hard to explain in a few seconds to strangers or family, especially if they 'don't get it'.

    And to the person who said something weird about fat acceptance...nothing wrong with fat acceptance. Honestly, people should love their bodies 'before and after'. We don't only love our kids when they're good, we love them when they're bad too. I, for one, am glad to have been able to be fat, it has been humbling. If I ever get down to my goal weight, I will have been more empathetic towards others and kind after surviving much hurt from situations like, mean comments from parents or dates that went down the drain really fast. These are 'growing' experiences, mentally and now physically. Nothing wrong with fat acceptance. I'll dress nice and love my body TODAY as I transform for my personal goals. I refuse to hate my body, and hate myself and let others dictate what's 'acceptable'. Lots of beautiful, big women exist..and they're not only beautiful on the outside, but their hearts, too.
  • supermodelchic
    supermodelchic Posts: 550 Member
    Agree, I am 50 and have lived that my whole life and because of that I look the way I do today, although the plan is after 80 I am going to start eating pizza & burgers and drink long island ice teas whenever I want LOL :bigsmile:
  • 12pillows
    12pillows Posts: 81 Member
    They should be associated with living - it's a prevention activity, not an intervention. Just like brushing your teeth prevents calories, it's not something you just do after you get cavities to make them go away.

    End of rant.

    Omg brushing your teeth prevents calories!?
    Totes gonna brush my teeth while ordering a takeaway tonight!!!!

    ;)
  • bwats33
    bwats33 Posts: 25 Member
    one more thing...americans in general dont understand what a normal weight even looks like on a person because EVERYONE is overweight. Even the people they think look good are overweight so it becomes the norm.

    The people that are actually the appropriate weight are viewed as crazy Gym fitness nuts who are obsessed.

    Can't say I agree with this at all. If anything, popular culture (i.e. TV, movies, magazines, ads, internet, etc) has skewed our perception of 'healthy' to the super thin, super low body fat body style.
  • JamesonEqualsLard
    JamesonEqualsLard Posts: 15
    :drinker:
  • JamesonEqualsLard
    JamesonEqualsLard Posts: 15
    They should be associated with living - it's a prevention activity, not an intervention. Just like brushing your teeth prevents calories, it's not something you just do after you get cavities to make them go away.

    End of rant.

    Omg brushing your teeth prevents calories!?
    Totes gonna brush my teeth while ordering a takeaway tonight!!!!

    ;)

    :laugh:
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    one more thing...americans in general dont understand what a normal weight even looks like on a person because EVERYONE is overweight. Even the people they think look good are overweight so it becomes the norm.

    The people that are actually the appropriate weight are viewed as crazy Gym fitness nuts who are obsessed.

    Can't say I agree with this at all. If anything, popular culture (i.e. TV, movies, magazines, ads, internet, etc) has skewed our perception of 'healthy' to the super thin, super low body fat body style.

    Agreed.

    I think we all just have different opinions about what looks skinny and what doesn't.
  • farfromthetree
    farfromthetree Posts: 982 Member
    Agree, I am 50 and have lived that my whole life and because of that I look the way I do today, although the plan is after 80 I am going to start eating pizza & burgers and drink long island ice teas whenever I want LOL :bigsmile:

    I have that same plan! haha. I may add smoking in there...All kidding aside, I wish I knew 20 years ago what I know now! Good for you for always knowing!
  • Fit_Content
    Fit_Content Posts: 29 Member
    nevermind
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,267 Member
    I don't eat half of a slice of carrot cake, I eat the WHOLE piece!!!.....and it still fits into my calories. Moderation is the key word here. :wink:
    wow where do you get that carrot cake? It's usually so high calorie that to have a piece that's almost all I'd get to eat that day!!!

    The Cheesecake Factory has a 990 calorie slice.

    http://www.cheesecakefactorynutrition.com/restaurant-nutrition-chart.php?

    carrot_cake-732238.jpg

    *drools* I couldn't eat all that seriously...but wow does it ever look good...I think I have been over estimating my cheesecake calories tho now ....hmmm

    It's funny I must have a look, not one person...not one has told me I need to stop losing weight, stop counting calories, stop weighing my food etc...

    I have lost 50lbs...so it's not that I am still "big"...

    To the OP you apparently don't have a face that says "don't screw with me"...

    I live in Canada and maybe we are all just too polite like the world thinks...
  • mebepiglet123
    mebepiglet123 Posts: 327 Member
    This is the thing. People associate 'dieting' with starving yourself.. We all know better..

    Well done take it as a NSV.....
  • mebepiglet123
    mebepiglet123 Posts: 327 Member
    Just out of curiosity steff, knowing that you don't hold back, what did you say to them....lol
  • MassiveDelta
    MassiveDelta Posts: 3,271 Member
    one more thing...americans in general dont understand what a normal weight even looks like on a person because EVERYONE is overweight. Even the people they think look good are overweight so it becomes the norm.

    The people that are actually the appropriate weight are viewed as crazy Gym fitness nuts who are obsessed.

    Can't say I agree with this at all. If anything, popular culture (i.e. TV, movies, magazines, ads, internet, etc) has skewed our perception of 'healthy' to the super thin, super low body fat body style.

    normal people dont look at movie stars and models and legitimately compare themselves. They look at others around them and see that they look fine.

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